What is wrong with me? (I really want to change my life)
What the hell is wrong with me?
I am 28F. Have no life, no career, unemployed, never earned a single buck in my life, entirely dependent on my parents, no friends, never went outside of my town, actually I haven't even watched my own town (just same 4 shops, same 2 temples, and same garden- that too I visit once in 6 months barely).
I have always wanted to do so much in life, wanted to achieve so many things, wanted to experience a lot of things, wanted to create art, wanted to learn numerous skills and I still want to do all these same things.
But honestly, I couldn't do it before and I can't do it now as well. I feel like my vision is so beautiful and big but I am lazy, I just can't do it.
The thing is, I start doing something, I will do it for a day or two or maybe for a month but then I will stop it, I don't even complete a single thing, don't even complete a single goal, I always stop doing things in between.
I sometimes even jumpsuit from one thing to other like what? I try to do multiple things at the same time, like seriously? I can't even complete one thing and I aspire to do multiple things. And then I always fail, obviously. When I try to do one thing, I backup in between and can't even achieve the one goal, how am I going to do multiple things at once and achieve multiple goals.
Also, I don't know whenever I start something I become so optimistic that I will get success in no time, I will achieve the goal in no time. But when I actually start the work, and don't see the achievement as I imagined before starting, I tend to give up most of the time.
I feel so lonely, so behind, so unlucky in life. I feel like a loser. But honestly, I feel like I can do it, I can achieve all of my goals, I can manifest my vision my dream life. But at the same time I don't know if this is really true or it's just me trying to distract myself from my reality (reality that I actually can't do anything in life, I don't have that potential in me, and to protect myself from this harsh truth, i am repeating this lie to myself).
I don't know what to do, how to do, where do I start ? (I can't live like this anymore)
Edit: All I do is, I envy all the people who are doing better in life whether in career or lifestyle or relationship, I envy people who work hard, who are obsessed with growing, winning and achieving. Because I want all this too.