u/Fiction_lover08

I sometimes sit with myself and wonder why the situation of our healthcare is so... dire? The whole message is too long. Please read.

Researchers are hardly funded, there are rarely any upgrades in our diagnostic technology, and when we ask why something is happening to our bodies, doctors have zero sensible answers.

And their typical solutions are so recycled. I could be withering in pain, and all I would get is, "Maybe you should try birth control!" Sure, Ramesh and Susheela, sure... My hormones are making me throw up blood. Thanks for such a wonderful solution!

It just makes me so sad and even depressed. Our bodies have been the almost same for decades. We have many recurring problems like endometriosis, PCOS/PMDD, acne, cysts, and whatnot. In this world, every other woman gets one or two of these problems, and still, they are so under-researched! Because apparently, how much sexual pleasure a man gets from a woman with endometriosis is more relevant than researching solutions to our problems.

I think the situation can be divided into two categories:

1. The problems that are common to all genders like heart attack etc. Here, surely, the level of care is much better. Mainly, we suffer from ignorance, trivialization of our problems, dismissal, and delayed diagnosis until we are on the verge of dying. This is sad, but what is worse is situation 2. We still do get taken seriously many times here, especially in Asian hospitals, I believe.
2. Situation 2 involves problems specific to our reproductive organs, and damn, the regressive state of things makes my heart wrench. The Pap smear tools and mammography machines are so outdated. There is no concrete reason or at least proper medication to help with our problems. There is this universal magical wand called "birth control" that is supposed to heal every type of problem. First of all, it can't. Second of all, it has such serious consequences of its own.

The problems of situation 1 are present here even more intensely, along with less research, fewer medicines, and outdated technology.

Don't even get me started on the obsession of the whole world with exercising autonomy and passing judgment over OUR bodies and OUR problems. They like to control us so badly. Abortion-wise though, it's still better in India.

You know what makes my blood boil even more? When we say things like, "If men had periods, then we would have menstrual leave and better healthcare," or "If men were able to get pregnant, then abortion would be considered healthcare." Why? Just imagine how much oppression we have been suffering for centuries that almost half the world's population is medically undermined like this. How did men end up with so much power that only if they experience something will those problems be taken seriously, but just us experiencing them isn't enough for healthcare to take them seriously?

I can't emphasize enough how catastrophic even this situation is. Why? Again, no answer.

Let me give my own example of these problems. I got severe abdominal pain a few months ago on the right side, and I rushed to the ER. Fortunately, they acted quickly, ran the necessary tests, and I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst. I really appreciated the seriousness and promptness, so I realized the general situation is better in Indian or Asian countries. I got surgery, and that was done. Fine...

But then comes the second situation. I asked, "Why did I get a cyst?" No answer. "How can I prevent it from developing in my other ovary?" No answer. I had to take three courses of birth control after surgery, and let me tell you, I was in a terrible, terrible state because of those pills. I hated those three months.

A few months after the surgery, during my periods, I started getting such painful cramps on the right side (where I experienced pain on the day I rushed to the ER). It is horrible. I wouldn't get pain anywhere else but there. Nothing makes it better. Nothing showed up on the ultrasound. When I told my gynecologist, she said, "Oh, in unmarried women, we usually don't consider pain serious. Usually, we consider pain in married women more seriously." And I was like, "WTF?" Just because I am unmarried doesn't make my pain any less real. Do unmarried girls not get PMDD, endometriosis, and so many other conditions? WTF kind of answer is that? I was shocked.

Apparently, if you are "unmarried," then your problems are not that important because, apparently, married women's symptoms matter more to them. (Mind you, this is sexist in itself, as they pay more attention to married women because they are supposed to procreate because, sadly, they believe that's the job of every married woman, even when they are CF). But even then, married women's symptoms aren't given that much importance. I have seen so many cases where a wife in labour wouldn't get even half the attention her husband, who just had a cold, might get.

Even months later, I still just suffer through the cramps and take medicine when it becomes too much.

This is so exhausting, TBH. Such a sad state of affairs. I wish we got even half the attention men get. I am just so sad.

A big rant... Pls read till the end.

I was thinking about how all religion, culture, and marriage specifically are so misogynistic. I feel marriage is made to benefit men. Of course, there are a couple who genuinely love and support each other, and it is so good, but also rare, as it has started happening recently, and still a lot of marriages are based solely on sexist roles set by society, like the woman will clean and the man will do the job thing.

Anyways, to the point... as I said, I know everything is very misogynistic in many aspects. But, when it comes to wedding rituals and marriage altogether, I think Hindu weddings take the cake. I am not well-versed in other cultures' wedding rituals; I have a fair idea of Christian and Muslim weddings. And I think the Hindu Marriage/wedding rituals are so, so, so male-centric. The primary reason for me not to marry is how marriage is seen in Hinduism. It is a union of two souls... what a BS. Because of this thinking, taking divorce has become such a taboo and difficult thing. Because of this, people get stuck in marriage, have to compromise and sacrifice, agree to everything, even to evil like dowry (even from the women's side), just so their kids can get married, as it is supposed to be the ultimate life goal. People who want to get a divorce, are in the process, or have gotten a divorce, as seen with such filthy eyes as if they have sinned more harshly than murder. Just bring up divorce and see how they react. Even in serials or movies, divorce is shown as such a serious thing. Like, chill. People marry and then divorce because they aren't compatible anymore or because there is so much abuse. Why make both marriage and divorce such serious life choices that it is the end, or a person perishes?

Apart from divorce, the rituals... dowry, Kanya dan (please, my blood boils hearing this word. Can culture can please stop objectifying us), the vows that priests chants (I remember I was 15 when I heard vows that priest chanted for my cousin's wedding​ and even when I didn't know the concept of feminism, I hated hated hated everything word coming out of his mouth), bride going to groom's house, has to stay with his family, wear mangalsutra, sindoor, first Rasoi...everything is so regressive. And these functions go on for so long... it may seem fun to the people not directly involved, but the burden largely falls on the bride's side. Especially, because the groom's side has a superiority complex (that society gives because he is a man. Wow)... that the bride's side becomes so submissive and tries to impress them so they don't get upset. Groom's side will make the bride's side go through hell, but no....groom's family should feel like a God. Every damn thing about marriage... I HATE IT. So so so patriarchal. So suffocating. I will never submit to rituals like these.

I don't want to get married... but if I do, I will find a man who matches my mindset (if there is one) and, for sure, won't marry as per Hindu rituals. Will Never. I refuse to follow these sexist rituals.

Hello everyone!

I got a seat in NLU Delhi for pursuing LLM. Since the program is non-residential, I have to arrange for my accommodation outside the campus.

So, can anyone please recommend me some good and secure Girls PG or Hostel in Sector-14, Dwarka or preferably near NLU delhi? It should have one-seater room option available.

Please share the name of the hostel/PG and if possible, contact number.

Thank you!

Hello everyone!

I got a seat in NLU Delhi for pursuing LLM. Since the program is non-residential, I have to arrange for my accommodation outside the campus.

So, can anyone please recommend me some good and secure Girls PG or Hostel in Sector-14, Dwarka or preferably near NLU delhi? It should have one-seater room option available.

Please share the name of the hostel/PG and if possible, contact number.

Thank you!

This is so scary dude. I was walking and had to stand still while watching this. My heart started beating loudly. I felt scared for her. She usually gives such a great reply to men like them, but this time... even she was shocked to say anything. My hands are shaking as I am writing this. What is the mentality of these men? He says he respects women, and then the way he literally proves how he can do anything but we can't because we will get harrased and assaulted. He was even going to comment on her but I am sure didn't because of the camera present. How aggressive he was. No matter how much facts, arguments, or anything you bring to them. They will never understand until they want to. They will go to any lengths to prove why they are right and how women should maintain "modesty".

I hope he doesn't get any near any girl in his life. I am worried for them.

My sister is 11 years old and she got her menarche on 26th feb this year. Then got her periods in March on 29th and now it is 2nd May and she still hasn't gotten her April periods. First it was 32 days cycle and now it has crossed 35 days.

I am well aware that first 2 years are irregular. I also suffered but mine was opposite. I used to get very early periods like 12 days early and sometimes twice. It took them time to get regular and even now they are irregular, but regular enough to stay within 24-30 days range.

For my sister, I know we can't make a judgment yet... but is it possible she might develop PCOS later? I am not quite sure if my mom had PCOS, but she said she used to get delayed periods as well.

I am asking because nowadays PCOS has being increasing due to a lot of factors. If there is a chance, I want to ensure she gets proper and timely care and treatment. I don't want her to hate her periods and get mentally stressed due to delay. If there is something I can do right now. I would appreciate your help a lot.

My sister is 11 years old and she got her menarche on 26th feb this year. Then got her periods in March on 29th and now it is 2nd May and she still hasn't gotten her April periods. First it was 32 days cycle and now it has crossed 35 days.

I know first 2 years are irregular. I also suffered but mine was opposite. I used to get very early periods like 12 days early and sometimes twice. It took them time to get regular and even now they are irregular but regular enough to stay within 24-30 days range.

For my sister, I know we can't make a judgment yet... but is it possible she might develop PCOS later? I am not quite if my mom had PCOS, but she said she used to get delayed periods as well.

I am asking because if there is a chance, I want to ensure she gets proper and timely care and treatment.

Greetings!

I am a 22F living in India. I am seeking a native Korean speaker to learn to speak, understand, and write fluent Korean. In exchange, I am offering English and Hindi if any native Korean wants to learn either of the language.

Thanks for reading! ♡