u/Fit-Environment-9108

I have 3 kids. 12, 8 and 5. I had them very young and I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. If I could go back in time I never would’ve had kids. My youngest 2 are not an issue at all. But my oldest is making me lose my sanity. She has had increasingly worse anxiety as the years go by. Im not sure the source or what started it, there wasn’t any major life events or anything. One day she just stopped wanting to do anything. She hasn’t seen her dad in years because she refuses to (no reason other than she says she gets nervous, 100% sure nothing bad happened between them). So I get no financial help from him as he thinks it’s me who is keeping her from him.

My mom is older and morbidly obese, she helps a lot with my kids so I can work. But she struggles with her legs and walking so she can only do so much. My kids spend a lot of time with her bcus of my work schedule and unfortunately my mom’s place is horrendous. Covered in trash and smells so bad, if the door is open you can smell it from 12 feet away.

Today was the first day of school I took the day off and my 12yo refused to go. She locked herself in her room and said she hated everything and wasn’t going. After 20min she came out and refused to talk about what she was feeling. She would only yell and scream that it’s my fault and that I ruined her life and that I’m not understanding. I TRY SO HARD to be patient and understanding. I also felt so bad my youngest two had to witness this chaos before they started their first day.

Also my youngest 2 their dad was very abusive at times (to me, never ever to them), luckily my kids never witnessed any incidents but he’s currently in prison for what he did to me. I felt so proud of myself for leaving that situation but sometimes I feel dumb because life has been a lot harder without his help.

As far as my 12yo, we’ve tried therapy and she refuses to cooperate we tried both zoom and in person. Her anxiety is debilitating. I’m thinking she needs to be in inpatient care? I really don’t know what to do. Idk how to physically get her to go to school. Nor do I have the time to be taking off work everyday and my mom also doesn’t need the stress of this (she takes them to school and picks them up.)

I’m very lucky to have the job and position I have, I also can’t think of any job that would work with school hours considering it’s 9-3. My job is 8-4:30 so I need help with pick ups and drop offs (relying on my mom).

Sorry for being all over the place, my life is a mess clearly. I’m just so frustrated and feel so lost and hopeless myself. I hate that I have to rely on my mom’s help so much because she’s not in good health and I hate my kids being at her place when it’s in such bad condition. I hate that I have no help from my kid’s fathers. I hate that I feel like I don’t have the mental capacity to handle my oldest daughter. I grew up with a SAHM and I don’t have that luxury to be able to be there everyday 24/7 to handle things. I just don’t know what to do or where to turn to. I have no one else to lean on and it sucks. I hate myself for the decisions I made when I was younger (having kids at all and especially the fathers I chose).

Obviously links in bio doesn’t work. I know everyone was going highlights and I had one story in my highlight with my link and woke up this morning with that as well as all my stories with links in my archive removed for “cybersecurity” reasons.

What’s everyone doing?

Im 31F and I’ve never had a lot of friends but always a few close friends. I can count on one hand. 2 of my closest friends (10+ yrs) always want to hang out but only want me to come to them. In the first few years of our friendship they had no issue also coming over to my place or out by me. Both of them live 45min-hr away from me.

Friend A lives 45min from me, was living with her boyfriend and her dad in his small apartment with her son. I would always go over there to see her, if we went out at all it was always out in her town. She recently got her own apartment and wants me to come visit her.

Friend B lives an hour away, married 3yrs ago with 2 kids under 2. Always wants me to go to her house or out her way.

They’re my closest friends but I’m just annoyed because I moved 3yrs ago and both of them have never came to see me (same distance I’ve always been). Once they got married and in relationships it’s like I have to go see them now? Which is weird because I also have my own place, I also work full time and have 3 kids, I also am in long term relationship (7yrs but he’s in prison rn) so I just feel like it’s unfair and am I wrong if I stop going to see them? I feel as friends why am I the only one expected to come to you?

Hi, I’ve been at my apartment for over 3 years. I’m on the second floor. Downstairs neighbor has been here probably a year or so. It’s not an apartment building with hallways, we have our own outside doors and so my stairs are outside. The apartment manager emailed me saying if I could be mindful about my child’s jumping and stomping, especially late into the night and early mornings.

Here’s the thing, we’re always in bed by 9pm. Always. My child is 5. Does he jump around sometimes? Yes, but rarely. We’re only home from 6pm on the week days and weekends we are usually out and about. Also, I do wake up between 6-6:30am but my child is always so tired he rolls out of bed, uses bathroom/brushes teeth gets dressed and we leave. There’s deff no jumping in the mornings. I’m honestly surprised to hear of a noise complaint and surprised what they’re hearing is bad enough to file a complaint. There’s a dog in the building next to us who is out side barking between midnight - 5am for more than 20 min at a time and it doesn’t seem like anyone has complained because it’s still happening.

I am a little upset about this because I feel like I would try to talk to my neighbor first before going to management about it. I also am confused and don’t really know how to minimize something that I feel like is already minimized? Now I feel uncomfortable and I’ll be super paranoid just to even walk around. How should I respond to this? Should I ask my neighbor what they’re hearing(politely) or don’t have any contact with them? I was thinking of offering my number so they could text if there’s an issue.

It’s also crazy to me too because they blast music on the weekends and I’ve never complained because I understand apartments come with noise and I’m super laid back. Now if I make a complaint it’ll seem retaliatory lol.

Hi, I hope this is okay to post here. I have 3 kids, ages 12,8 and 5. My 12 year old daughter makes me hate being a mom. I’m at a loss of what to do to make things better for her/us. She has had anxiety since maybe around 5 and it just gets worse and worse. She hasn’t seen her dad in 2 years because of her anxiety (yes I’m sure nothing happened between them). Now he’s pretty much ghosted us because he’s tried over and over to see her and he thinks I’m keeping her from him so I have no physical or financial help from him. She’s had a broken front tooth for 2 years (she fell at recess) and I can’t get her to go to the dentist. She agrees to go then refuses to get out of the car, she is bigger than me (I’m super petite) so I can’t physically force her out of the car or anything. She won’t get her school physical done either. She told me she holds her pee in the whole school day because she won’t use the bathroom there. She refuses to use a public bathroom anywhere. She has no friends at school which makes her depressed. Getting her to go to school this past year was the most stressful experience she missed so many days. I’ve signed her up for extra curriculars (sports/dance/swim) in the past she wouldn’t go.

At home when she is with family, she is so funny and nice and sweet. She is truly hilarious. But it’s like she turns into a different person when it’s time to do anything.

We tried therapy over zoom and she wouldn’t cooperate, she would hide her face. Tried therapy in person, again won’t get out of the car. I try so hard to be understanding and patient but it’s not easy at all. I’m not a yeller, my kids have never been spanked. But she makes me feel hopeless and depressed myself. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t have had kids, I feel like I don’t have the mental capacity myself to deal with this.

Recently started using my IG a month ago but I’ve had the account for years. Sometimes my account will go orange when I didn’t recently post anything (can’t be recommended under 18). Today I removed 3 posts one by one while checking my account status and on the 3rd post it went green. I put the other 2 posts back on, and it stayed green for an hour then was back orange. I removed those posts, still orange. Removed my story that had a link and it went back green. Put the 2 posts I removed back on and it eventually went orange again. This time I archived damn near all my posts until one with a sliver (literally) of ass showing I removed and it went back green.

I’m so confused. My content is very sfw but why did it change what was flagged each time?? Does it just randomly switch up?

For those who tried this, how long did it take before you noticed it helped? Did ur skin get more red initially? Wanting to try but just wondering what to expect. Problem area is my nose/under nose

When you get an orange tick under “can’t be recommended to under 18”, how fast after removing the content you *think* might be flagging it would it go back green? Is it instant or should u remove content and wait a while?

For example, I uploaded a real and after about 30min I got an orange tick. I removed that reel and it was still orange. Then I removed my bio to make it blank and it instantly went green. My bio only said “in the highlights!”. I put the reel back from archive and it stayed green. This scenario has happened twice now.

So I’m a bit confused, was it my reel that flagged it or was it my bio? Are we not allowed to say “highlights” in our bio? Why was my reel fine when I put it back? Or why was my bio fine until I posted the reel? 😅

How are you guys shooting your content? Taking your pics and recoding your reels without it getting boring? My bf of 6yrs (now ex) is in prison for the next 2yrs. He would take my pics and record me walking( I have 2 BBLs lol)and other reels for me. Now I have no one to help me and my content feels monotonous. I live in an apartment so lately all of my pics and videos have been in my apartment, mainly my bedroom.

How do you guys do it or keep things interesting? Would I be wrong if I asked my 12yo daughter to take pics of me sometimes? (Fully clothed, just for normal IG posts). Or would I be weird to set up a tri pod outside my apartment complex? Lol. I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have all live an hour+ away. Now that my ex is gone I never go out anywhere at all.

My main source of promo has always been Facebook but I want to venture more into IG. I have an account about 3 years old with 2k followers that I barely ever post on, like 7 posts total and the last one was last summer. If I start uploading consistently on it is it possible to grow? Or should I just start a new account?