u/Flimsy-Captain8531

Had my therapy session yesterday and it was quite alright, you can say we made "progress" on our main goal. However the most prominent thing I'm feeling about that is something along the lines of disappointment, since the next session would be next week instead of a closer time. Huge bummer.

What am I feeling right now at this moment? Unsure. Most likely numbness to a large part. I wish I can express my feelings again in my own time before the next session. Preferably by crying, I have cried yesterday afternoon in my sleep.

I don't think I have much energy to talk about anything else other than my current emotional state and the things surrounding it. Yet I don't have people I trust right now that I feel like choosing to talk about this. That means I don't really have many places to actually feel heard, and I hate that. I wish i had better access.

I'm feeling incredibly worn out today... I've gathered up a lot of notes for therapy but I'm really scared I won't have the energy to truly express what feelings those notes contain. I'm afraid I won't be able to give the grieving part of me what he needs right now. I'm afraid. That's the biggest feeling existing right now that I want to allow to exist.

No, I don't want to be cheered up for fuck's sake, I want to feel whichever feeling is coming up inside me. Am I not good enough to exist when I'm being like this?

To allow myself to feel like everything will NOT be okay, do you understand how much faith I have in myself, my methodology, and my journey, to allow myself to ACTUALLY and HONESTLY feel that everything will fall apart soon, because that's how I actually feel from time to time, without sanctioning it or immediately covering it up with affirmations?

I hope the void stays safe for me to scream in it. I have been getting preachy people occasionally, but I wish this truly was a safe space. If you feel the urge to dm me about something, please don't, I would rather not get any, it's a much easier expectation to work around.

Not sure how I felt over the weekend. I definitely wish I had more energy, space, and trustworthy people I chose around me. But, right now I don't have access to that. I'm noticing a (suppressed) disappointment and longing in that area, but spending the weekend with family out of town has made me unable to access that right now.

Next checkpoint is the therapy session on Tuesday. I have jotted down what I planned on saying, but I feel less confident than I was last Thursday, during my "venting" session, which, again, was restrained as well. I'm still hesitant to trust that there are people who are ACTUALLY not just curious but also okay and accepting of how I honestly feel in my entirety, not just sanctioned versions of myself that are palatable and pleasing. I'm so weary of performing, for the people who will leave anyway when things get difficult.

I so wish I can be done with everything right now, even though I'm absolutely respectful of the process. You get what i mean, right? Oh right, you're the void. The void does not shut me down. Hopefully.... that's a reasonable expectation to uphold, right? Some things are seemingly that big of an ask these days. Maintaining my approach to things is that difficult, even when I am already this resourceful

Not sure about today. There were lots of things I shouted in my personal space throughout the day thus far, but I don't really feel the urge, nor the material, to scream anything specific. I'm just too checked out. And that makes me afraid of tomorrow. I want to scream obscenities during the session. I want to curse out people. And these days have been so much trial for me, with the limited capability of protecting my own narrative, with the people messaging me telling me what they want to say instead of even a simple fucking "I'm sorry to hear what you're going through"? well, its reddit, its the best ive got at the moment and its full of these people.

I feel myself slowly hardening and while that absolutely makes logical sense why, I want to carry the trigger to tomorrow so that I can take advantage of it and express how I truly feel. Instead of doing so in front of people who don't actually care about me lol, people who just care about what they want to say. Insecure people who want to insert themselves into my journey to receive validation for their OWN thought process. Treating what I say as points to be attacked instead of it to be understood. It's just so fucking stupid. And to all the naysayers, doubters, or whatever, just fuck off. No one asked for your opinion lol.

Just look at what happens to me when I stop being agreeable. When i stop expressing my grief as sadness and instead as anger. Just look at how differently people treat me, even if I've already did the precautions to show them about what I mean when I say X or Y and all that rigamarole. I'm lucky I have me who's still WILLING to fight for me because I care about me. And to everyone else who can't help, why not just shut the fuck up? I came here to scream into the void expecting it to not answer back, why the fuck is it trying to patronise me?

Hello, I'm from Indonesia and would like the presence of genuine people currently. I'm aware friendships take time to build, and I'm okay with that, I just wish for genuine, trustworthy, available, and capable people to lean upon.

I've been going through tough times in recent memory, and as much as I can help myself, I long for the presence of trustworthy people. Not advice, not "different perspectives", not lectures, just validation and presence, being there with me. I really long for that. I wish to find people who can resonate with that! At the same time, due to the things that have happened to me in the past, I need time to trust people and again, I'm okay with needing time to build friendship, I just want to try and find genuine people in the meantime. Of course, to the best of my ability, I will try to provide the same 🌻 and if we end up not vibing, at least we tried, right?

About me:
I'm a huge feeler and a very expressive & open person once I feel safe with enough trust. I'm currently going through therapy as well, been going for over a year, with incremental progress. Though, what a friend can provide is different from what a therapist can provide. I *can* provide a safe space for you as well, but I can't guarantee that I can do it all the time since I might need to reserve space for my own issues as well, since I'm really digging up the deep seated issues inside me.

You can find more info about interests and all in my profile!

Important possible dealbreaker to mention here again that I do not feel comfortable with the ideologies of Islam, leftism, nor Zionism.

About you:
I kindly wish to find someone emotionally available to get to know me (as I of course would try to back to you as well), and ideally, know how to allow me to eventually show up how I truly feel, and to allow me to feel that way, instead of trying to make me feel another way (such as cheering me up) and trusting that I'll know the next step after expressing my lamentations/frustrations/whichever way i feel.

Someone who is curious about why I hold the beliefs I have and why I'm at this point in life, instead of trying to insert their beliefs/opinions into mine, in other words, treating my beliefs as essential to me and to be understood, instead of points to attack or dismantle. I'm open to connect with anyone in the world (as long as you are fluent in English for communication purposes), either male or female, as long as the description fits you 🌻

It goes without saying, but these are also snippets of how I plan to be in the friendship towards you as well!

Have a nice day!

Hello, I'm from Indonesia and would like the presence of genuine people currently. I'm aware friendships take time to build, and I'm okay with that, I just wish for genuine, trustworthy, available, and capable people to lean upon.

I've been going through tough times in recent memory, and as much as I can help myself, I long for the presence of trustworthy people. Not advice, not "different perspectives", not lectures, just validation and presence, being there with me. I really long for that. I wish to find people who can resonate with that! At the same time, due to the things that have happened to me in the past, I need time to trust people and again, I'm okay with needing time to build friendship, I just want to try and find genuine people in the meantime. Of course, to the best of my ability, I will try to provide the same 🌻 and if we end up not vibing, at least we tried, right?

About me:
I'm a huge feeler and a very expressive & open person once I feel safe with enough trust. I'm currently going through therapy as well, been going for over a year, with incremental progress. Though, what a friend can provide is different from what a therapist can provide. I *can* provide a safe space for you as well, but I can't guarantee that I can do it all the time since I might need to reserve space for my own issues as well, since I'm really digging up the deep seated issues inside me. That also means, if you're looking for friends to make you feel less lonely every day, I don't think I can provide what you need right now, sorry.

You can find more info about interests and all in my profile!

Important possible dealbreaker to mention here again that I do not feel comfortable with the ideologies of Islam, leftism, nor Zionism.

About you:
I kindly wish to find someone emotionally available to get to know me (as I of course would try to back to you as well), and ideally, know how to allow me to eventually show up how I truly feel, and to allow me to feel that way, instead of trying to make me feel another way (such as cheering me up) and trusting that I'll know the next step after expressing my lamentations/frustrations/whichever way i feel. Or in short, someone who knows what it means to "be there" for someone, emotionally

Someone who is curious about why I hold the beliefs I have and why I'm at this point in life, instead of trying to insert their beliefs/opinions into mine, in other words, treating my beliefs as essential to me and to be understood, instead of points to attack or dismantle. I'm open to connect with anyone in the world (as long as you are fluent in English for communication purposes), either male or female, as long as the description fits you 🌻

It goes without saying, but these are also snippets of how I plan to be in the friendship towards you as well!

Have a nice day!

No one can help me in the way that's helpful to me and i dont have enough energy to untangle the mess I'm in even though I'm unemployed and theoretically have enough time. It's all hitting me at the same time and every time I take complicated maneuvers to break out of small or big tangles, i cant appreciate myself enough for it. I hate my predicament and how locked i am in it. I hate how little access i have, and i hate how patient I have to be in order to just have the CHANCE that one day it's all going to be okay. and i hate how the next typical response is "its going to be okay! dont worry!" nice invalidation there. idk. people just aren't equipped to handle my stage of healing and its so tiring to explain everything all over again, of course it makes sense if that makes me stay longer than i should in certain relations just so i can not have to deal with everything all over again. makes sense. but it doesnt always seem that way and I DONT NEED THE FUCKING REMINDERS

having to try and try again to get my needs met. trying really hard every time to get the needs of those parts of me the help they need because i don't have enough energy myself to help them, and yet those parts having so very specific needs and very specific do-nots, as such every time someone helps me in an unhelpful way (the default way of how many others operate) it sends me down such a triggering spiral and i hate having to go through all this. I hate going through this alone and i hate how little access to the support I need that i have. I hate this so much. I wish i had someone that can be there for me the way I can be there for me, but it will still need a lot of time and patience and I really seriously have been extremely patient

Looking for partners ideally around 21-28 and strictly 21+!

A little bit about myself (24M)...

- I'm a software engineer professional, but currently unemployed. I have a flexible schedule for now!

- I like games such as Stardew Valley, Pokemon, and Capcom games like Ace Attorney. I have some other games in my library - Don't Starve Together, PEAK, REPO, Minecraft, Terraria etc that I havent played much but am open to!

- For movies I tend to like anime, especially Ghibli. I also like Jojo!

- My current favorite album is Morningside by Fazerdaze from New Zealand

So, I'm of Chinese descent and speak 潮汕话 at home. I'm not fluent in that either, but I feel like I carry that accent and am much more accustomed to it than Northern mainland accents ahaha 😁. My Mandarin level is about A2-B1. I'm fluent in Indonesian and English if you'd like me to help with either! I'm also learning Japanese (N2 level) for work. Aiming to take the N1 soon!

Format : Text based first for icebreaking, then we can move to playing something together casually or have a casual call every now and then!

The friendship and connection honestly is more important to me! I would love to know more about life in either China or Taiwan from the perspective of a local. It would be amazing if you're from 潮汕 especially!!

As for my communication style, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual exchange partners, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! It's okay on my end if we end up not vibing, at least we tried!

Other details in my profile too 😊🌻

Looking for partners ideally around 21-28 and strictly 21+!

A little bit about myself (24M)...

- I'm a software engineer professional, but currently unemployed. I have a flexible schedule for now!

- I like games such as Stardew Valley, Pokemon, and Capcom games like Ace Attorney. I have some other games in my library - Don't Starve Together, PEAK, REPO, Minecraft, Terraria etc that I havent played much but am open to!

- For movies I tend to like anime, especially Ghibli. I also like Jojo!

- My current favorite album is Morningside by Fazerdaze from New Zealand

So, I'm of Chinese descent and speak 潮汕话 at home. I'm not fluent in that either, but I feel like I carry that accent and am much more accustomed to it than Northern mainland accents ahaha 😁. My Mandarin level is about A2-B1. I'm fluent in Indonesian and English if you'd like me to help with either! I'm also learning Japanese (N2 level) for work. Aiming to take the N1 soon!

Format : Text based first for icebreaking, then we can move to playing something together casually or have a casual call every now and then!

The friendship and connection honestly is more important to me! I would love to know more about life in either China or Taiwan from the perspective of a local. It would be amazing if you're from 潮汕 especially!!

As for my communication style, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual exchange partners, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! It's okay on my end if we end up not vibing, at least we tried!

Other details in my profile too 😊🌻

​

(Only for 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be fluent in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻

(Only for 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be fluent in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻

(Only for 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be fluent in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻

(Only for 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be fluent in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻

Hello, I'm from Indonesia and would like the presence of genuine people currently. I'm aware friendships take time to build, and I'm okay with that, I just wish for genuine, trustworthy, and capable people to lean upon.

I've been going through tough times in recent memory, and as much as I can help myself, I long for the presence of trustworthy people. Not advice, not "different perspectives", not lectures, just validation and presence, being there with me. I really long for that. At the same time, due to the things that have happened to me in the past, I need time to trust people and again, I'm okay with needing time to build friendship, I just want to try and find genuine people in the meantime. Of course, to the best of my ability, I will try to provide the same 🌻 and if we end up not vibing, at least we tried, right?

If this resonates with you, hit me up with a short intro of yourself :) some other misc things about me - currently traveling for 3 months around the world, loves learning languages and Pokemon, and enjoys time in nature ^^

TLDR: 13M looking for a native speaker of English or Mandarin aged 12-15, to play together on Minecraft, Stardew, or Brawl Stars while voice chatting on Discord.

Hello!

I'm (24M) looking for a language partner for my little brother (13M). Our native language is Indonesian, but he has a good command of Mandarin and even better at English, he uses all three at school.

We are seeking native speakers aged 12-15 of either Mandarin or English for his practice. In return, he can teach Indonesian, English, or Mandarin.

His favored learning method is communicating through playing games together, he loves playing Minecraft (on Aternos), Stardew Valley, and Brawl Stars. He is a bit shy, but is willing to make friends and talk to new people. Other interests include swimming and building lego/gundams.

Our time zone is GMT+7 and mostly available at night on weekdays (7pm-9pm) or afternoons and nights on weekends.

We can communicate on Discord or Google Meet.

If you have a younger sibling or child interested, please let us know! Thank you so much!

Hello, I'm from Indonesia and would like the presence of genuine people currently. I'm aware friendships take time to build, and I'm okay with that, I just wish for genuine, trustworthy, and capable people to lean upon.

I've been going through tough times in recent memory, and as much as I can help myself, I long for the presence of trustworthy people. Not advice, not "different perspectives", not lectures, just validation and presence, being there with me. I really long for that. At the same time, due to the things that have happened to me in the past, I need time to trust people and again, I'm okay with needing time to build friendship, I just want to try and find genuine people in the meantime. Of course, to the best of my ability, I will try to provide the same 🌻 and if we end up not vibing, at least we tried, right?

If this resonates with you, hit me up with a short intro of yourself :) some other misc things about me - currently traveling for 1 more month around the Eurasia, loves learning languages and Pokemon, and enjoys time in nature ^^

What my irl friends have done to me... and how difficult it is for me to remedy all that on my own efforts, is haunting. It haunts me to deep hours. I'm scared. I'm weary. I don't want to keep fighting it, despite knowing that the way out is through. I don't have enough support and safety. It hurts. I wish people can see and accept that I am hurting instead of immediately asking me to get up every time I fall. I'm weary of being strong. Please, allow me to safely be weak and TRUST ME that I'll find my own way, JUST ALLOW ME TO BE FRAIL, I'm not supposed to be strong all the time. Screw your advices I just want your presence....

I hate how much they broke my trust and made me feel so unsafe in any type of interpersonal relationships. I hate it. It affects me so much and they just go on with their lives as if I meant nothing to them. I hate this. I hate trusting people. I hate not being able to solve everything myself and having to rely on people. I hate having to be agreeable to be accepted. No one truly cares about me, just what I can offer them. Fuck this honestly, the friend bullshit can fuck right off, I'm never going to find an actual friend who cares about me, and is trustworthy. Don't prove me otherwise, I don't want to be wrong. Let me simmer in this hatred and frustration. Why is it so hard for people to understand this?

(Only for 21+ 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

I'm learning Russian currently (A1) and would love to ask back and forth questions about grammar, nuance, parts of speech etc. during my downtime in traveling! I can help you with English, Indonesian, or basic Japanese.

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be conversational in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻

(Only for 1-on-1 connections please!)

I'm extroverted, I love to share daily things, talk about random things, to "deep" conversations. If you'd like to connect and be casual friends, or see if we connect long term, or anything in between - do let me know! I'm open to seeing where we go - long term if we connect, or just short term if we don't really vibe.

A little about myself - I'm from Indonesia, I love to travel (in the middle of a 3 month trip rn!), language learning (learning Japanese and Russian right now!), Ghibli for movies, Pokemon & Ace Attorney for games, and meeting new people!

I'm learning Russian currently (A1) and would love to ask back and forth questions about grammar, nuance, parts of speech etc. during my downtime in traveling!

You can check my profile for more detailed info.

I ask you to please be conversational in English and be 21+!

Send a short intro of yourself if you decide to DM me, and we can see where it goes after that!

Have a nice day everyone 🌻