u/Freya_1917

My almost 6 month old is waking every 40 minutes to an hour at night now. He wants to nurse every time. Occasionally I’m able to give him his pacifier and rock him back to sleep but most the time he demands nursing. My husband took some more baby leave to help because I’m getting basically zero sleep. He takes the first shift so I can sleep. In the week we did this, my husband only had two nights where the baby woke up during his time. Other than that, I put him to sleep and he would sleep the entire 9 pm- 1 am. I’d sleep in another room. When I come back in, I’m silent as can be, but my baby wakes up by 2, eats and then the cycle immediately begins again. My husband went out of town for two days, and both nights we were back to constant wake ups. I caved and allowed co sleeping, or tried it I should say. That didn’t work either. He still woke up like crazy. I’m so exhausted.

Yes I follow wake windows, yes I’ve played with his naps, yes we have a consistent day each day for the most part. I feel like I’m doing everything BUT cry it out or formal sleep training and nothing is working. I’m so tired

My MIL lives with us to “help” with the baby. She moved in just before I gave birth to my now 5 month old son. Originally, me being very ignorant, thought this would be a good idea. I was very wrong. Between the out dated practices, generational, cultural, lack of boundaries, and completely different parenting styles… I now cannot stand this woman. We had a good relationship before, I always thought she was sweet. She also lived with us once before and we had no issues.
I’ve had to be very assertive with her when it comes to my son on multiple occasions. At first I would try to go through my husband, as we do have a slight language barrier, but he would become defensive over her, and very rarely say anything. So then I began setting my boundaries myself and for a while wouldn’t even let her watch him for more than an hour. Some things have gotten better after I’ve had to basically be a bitch.
But now…. Everything she does when it comes to my baby drives me insane. Her high pitch baby voice she uses, the fact that she is constantly trying to stimulate him, even when I tell her to let him play independently, the way my baby smells like her after she’s held him, just everything. She’s been asking about when he’s going to get solids.. and honestly even though we are getting closer to 6 months and I know he could safely have some purees… because of her in my house I don’t want to even start them. I don’t want her opinion on what I give him, how I give it to him. I don’t want her giving him foods without me around. I just don’t want her involved at all. I absolutely hate how she’s already involved in damn near everything. All of the first milestones, intimate moments that I just want to be with my husband and baby…it just sucks. Yes I’ve spoken to my husband about all of this, multiple times. Occasionally, he addresses some issues… but most of the time, he just tells me to “ignore” her and that this is my son to do what I want with. She doesn’t work or drive, so she’s always in my house. Ignoring her is not that easy. We live days away from any other family too so I can’t just go somewhere else.
A part of me is just venting… I read others posts on here about similar issues and I cannot believe how many MILs just have zero boundaries when it comes to their grandchildren. When my son was first born I had to go off completely about her basically acting like she was his mom. Even making joking comments about wanting to breastfeed and claiming that’s “her baby”

Maybe I’m being ungrateful, maybe I’m being immature… idk… I’m just over it.

I need help. My 5 month old now is not making it 20 minutes at night without being latched. It started with his sleep cycles, about every 40 minutes or so and now last night it was every time he would move he would wake himself up and escalate until he was latched again. I never minded him nursing to sleep but this is not sustainable in any way for me. I don’t have help at night and very little help in the day. I understand the regression, wake windows, naps, all of that. How do I break this specific habit?? I’ve tried his pacifier, rocking, shushing, patting, he just gets more upset until I finally just give him the boob. Every night over the past week has gotten progressively worse. I’m so exhausted.,,

My baby is 5 months now, and we are GOING THROUGH IT AT NIGHT. He went from having 4-5 hour stretches to waking every 40 minutes now all night long. I’ve caved and let him sleep in the bed too because I BF him. He had always slept in his bassinet or crib until now and the only way I can get him back to sleep is to nurse him. (I follow all safe sleep 7 things but I hate that I caved to this) My question is for anyone who is on the other side… will he connect his sleep cycles on his own? Without formal sleep training? I do all nights every night as my husband works and I decided to take a lot of time off during his first year. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. I really thought by now sleep wise would be getting better, not worse. I’ve kept a consistent bed time routine his entire life too.

My son turned 5 months this month. Prior to this I had thought we were going through the 4 month regression/progression whatever you want to call it. Frequently waking up, fighting naps, all that. As of him hitting 5 months though… he will not sleep more than 30 minutes at a time ALL NIGHT LONG. Out of no where he developed a nurse to sleep association, where he could be rocked before, my husband could give him a bottle of breast milk and get him to doze off and now, absolutely nothing will get him to go to sleep other than nursing. When he wakes up all he wants to do is latch. I’ve tried everything. I understand the sleep cycles, I understand his wake windows, I follow them well. He nurses to sleep well, he transfers well, but the end of the sleep cycle that’s it. Over. Up again. Last night I caved and brought him into the bed with me, in an attempt to try and help him connect his sleep cycle before he woke himself up. It helped a little but it still requires me to be awake to do this. How in the hell do we get past this? Do babies start connecting the cycles on their own? How do I break this habit? Well I don’t care that he nurses to sleep but I do care that he is up every 30 minutes and has to be latched to me over and over causing me to get no sleep. I also do all nights, my husband works, so even during the day I can’t just sleep. Please help.

Floor bed will be for my 5 month old instead of using his crib. I’ll be getting the high railings one. I love the idea of just being in bed already and getting up to walk away from him when he’s asleep vs transferring to the crib. He’s been sleeping in his bassinet until this last week, where regression has basically messed up all sleep, and I caved to having him in the bed with me following safe sleep 7. I’ve been so scared to co-sleep but because of him waking up literally every 40 minutes and the ONLY way I can get him back down is to nurse him, (seriously I’ve tried everything) nights have been rough, leaving what felt like no choice.

I have some questions:

What mattress did you get for the floor bed that is still firm to protect from SIDS?

What are the pros and cons you have experienced?

Is it truly better in the long run than the crib?

Thank you!

My baby is 5 months old this week. Sleep regression hit hard at 4 1/2 months. I’m spending at least 3/4 of my day it feels like just trying to get him to sleep. Naps or bed time. All for him to sleep for 20-30 minutes on naps, even when held. Occasionally he will hit an hour if it’s a good contact nap. Bed time is like an Olympic sport. Every night he immediately wakes after 30 minutes with his false start. I basically sit and wait for it at this point. Sometimes I can get him back down quickly but most the time it’s like the whole bed time routine has to start over. It went from being able to rock him to sleep to now the only way he will go to sleep is to nurse to sleep. Which I hate. Then there’s my sleep… which is basically non existent.
Yes I watch wake windows, yes I do the dark, calm room, yes I do white noise.. I do all the things. All of them. Does it end??

I’ve been so strict about my baby sleeping in his bassinet and he has so far. He’s almost 5 months. But this 4 month regression plus swaddle out transition is going to kill me. It’s worse than the newborn stage. Especially since he was getting 6-8 hour stretches at night. I used to also be able to rock him to sleep. Now over the last couple weeks the only way I can get him down at all is to nurse him. For naps, bed, wake ups, all of it. I understand safe sleep 7. My question is how do you actually get them into position? Do they just fall asleep with you in bed! What do you do? What is your process? I’m so close to throwing in the towel on this. Also if you don’t think I should and you have seen the light on the other side of regression and your baby sleeping in their bassinet or crib please give me some energy. I’m so beyond exhausted

My son will be 5 months old in a couple weeks. The past two weeks have been hell with sleeping. My hormones have also seemed to take a dive too. My husband went back to work at 6 weeks PP and stayed helpful for a little while. But his help stopped about two months ago. He doesn’t do anything hard when it comes to the baby. He doesn’t help with my pump parts anymore. Cleaning up around the house. Nothing. I’m currently so beyond tired I cannot think straight. I look at him with so much rage right now. When addressed, it gets thrown in my face that he is working and paying the bills and stressed about income since I decided to not go back to work. Child care would have been his mother and been free but that’s a whole other fucking issue, so in my mind his mom watching our son behind two hours is a big fat fucking no. If the baby does sleep more than 4 hours right now he asks me “did you sleep?” And if I did manage to get some rest I’m somehow supposed to just be functioning fine. Broken sleep is worse than not sleeping at this point. I feel sick and I’ve had a headache for 3 days now because I’m so exhausted. I can’t nap when the baby naps anymore because his naps have basically been 30-45 minutes if I’m lucky. I type this at 12:30 AM while he lays there’s snoring and I breastfeed my baby. He has never helped with nights. He has protected his gym schedule by still going every day at 3 am. I’d kill to have a nice gym routine again. He tells me I look tired or I seem tired. NO SHIT. On his days off, if, and I mean if he takes the baby so I can have some peaceful rest he makes sure to let me know his sacrifice of this time and hopes I got rest. No wonder kids cause divorce. I’ve never hated him more than I do right now. We are also military, so I’m thousands of miles away from any family who I could get to help me. I just want to scream.

My son will be 5 months old in a couple weeks. The past two weeks have been hell with sleeping. My hormones have also seemed to take a dive too. My husband went back to work at 6 weeks PP and stayed helpful for a little while. But his help stopped about two months ago. He doesn’t do anything hard when it comes to the baby. He doesn’t help with my pump parts anymore. Cleaning up around the house. Nothing. I’m currently so beyond tired I cannot think straight. I look at him with so much rage right now. When addressed, it gets thrown in my face that he is working and paying the bills and stressed about income since I decided to not go back to work. Child care would have been his mother and been free but that’s a whole other fucking issue, so in my mind his mom watching our son behind two hours is a big fat fucking no. If the baby does sleep more than 4 hours right now he asks me “did you sleep?” And if I did manage to get some rest I’m somehow supposed to just be functioning fine. Broken sleep is worse than not sleeping at this point. I feel sick and I’ve had a headache for 3 days now because I’m so exhausted. I can’t nap when the baby naps anymore because his naps have basically been 30-45 minutes if I’m lucky. I type this at 12:30 AM while he lays there’s snoring and I breastfeed my baby. He has never helped with nights. He has protected his gym schedule by still going every day at 3 am. I’d kill to have a nice gym routine again. He tells me I look tired or I seem tired. NO SHIT. On his days off, if, and I mean if he takes the baby so I can have some peaceful rest he makes sure to let me know his sacrifice of this time and hopes I got rest. No wonder kids cause divorce. I’ve never hated him more than I do right now. We are also military, so I’m thousands of miles away from any family who I could get to help me. I just want to scream.

I’m sure there’s some who have been through this. There’s a possibility I might file for divorce from my husband. He is active duty. We have a 4 month old baby and currently live in TX. Like most, I ended my career when we met, got married and moved. If I file. I know my husband will fight for custody, and his family would pay for it. His mom, lives with us (him) so she is or would be our (his) child care. I’m worried since I do not work and would be moving my son back to where I’m from that I would lose custody. Even though I have a career immediately upon returning. My husband already doesn’t do anything hard regarding our baby. I also read that when going through a divorce in TX neither party can move out of state until the divorce is final. Because I would be the one moving and moving my son, I’m worried it won’t go in my favor.

My husband has not been unfaithful. Reasons for divorce are primarily due to him choosing his mother over his wife over and over and over again.

Anyone been through this where as the spouse who did not work still get custody?

My husband has always told me he wanted to take care of his mom. Even when we first started dating. I respected it. She has always bounced between our house and my BIL house. She lived with us once before for a year, and we had no issues. Her sons have agreed to take care of her.

Fast forward- I had a baby 4 months ago, FTM. She moved back in with us right before I had him. My husband really pushed for this, to “help” and be our “childcare” It did seem like a good idea at the time.

WRONG. She quickly tried to insert herself as basically my son’s mother. She over steps like crazy, hovers over me like a baby sitter, makes unnecessary comments when I don’t do what she wants, has out dated practices I refuse to be ok with and has proven that if I’m not home she will do what she wants with my son, not what I told her to do. My husband and I have never fought so much because of her. Yes I’m sure postpartum has some to do with it as well, but she is the primary cause. My husband does nothing but defend her. Say “that’s just how she is” “she’s just trying to help” it’s to the point where I refuse to even say anything anymore. I just keep my baby in the bedroom as much as possible. (She doesn’t work or drive, so unless we take her somewhere, she’s always home) my husband is so defensive over her it’s concerning at this point.
What’s driving me even more insane is all my husband’s family is constantly saying how lucky I am to have her here. I’m not saying I’m not, I know there’s so many moms who would probably love having someone in the home to help, but her helping is hurting. She does help with cleaning around the house, and cooks for my husband, all his favorite foods. -honestly how much my husband has been relying on her for everything has become to be a turn off at this point.

I’m a stranger in my own home. We are military so we are far away from any family or places for me to escape. I fully know my husband should be having my back, but he’s not. Postpartum is already hard enough as the mom when it comes to resentment in her partner. Right now I’m ready to pack our shit and leave. I never thought I’d be in this position and my mind is blown that I am. I love my husband but can’t believe this has become our life.

UPDATE- I appreciate most of the comments and advice. Some things I can definitely easily input into place, others, is easier said than done. As far as leaving goes, I wish I were that simple. I do still love my husband and I don’t want to just throw my marriage away. Also, My husband would absolutely fight me for custody, and since I’m currently only in school, I worry he would win. When it comes to going to therapy, my husband refuses and doesn’t believe in it. So, I’m going to start being the Bigger Bitch as someone said. Putting my foot down and flat out saying this isn’t going to keep happening. I can’t live like this.

Originally I had planned to wean at 6 months, but now after being a mom, and BF for 4 months, I want to go longer than 6 months. I love growing my little human, I love that no one can take that bonding time away from me either. We do the occasional bottles when we are out and about, and my son gets a top off bottle before bed. So my husband does get to feed him. It’s more about the inconvenience BF causes I think. Which to me is not an inconvenience, I don’t mind it. But both my husband and MIL (who lives with us) get annoyed by it. When I told him today I was planning to now BF longer, he immediately was like how long!? I said I wasn’t sure. He rolled his eyes and said fine. Although he didn’t verbally say anything, I can tell by his body language and response he is annoyed by it.

Honestly it has me pissed off. Like once my son is done BF, that’s it. I’ll never get that back. Plus I already go above and beyond with our son, basically making it so my husband rarely has to do anything “hard” with him. Another thing with it, my MIL basically tried to act like my son’s mom when I first brought him home. She also kept pushing to let her give bottles because I also do pump for back stock. It caused a lot of fights and arguments because she constantly over steps. I feel like once I’m no longer BF, all that is going to happen again.

Anyway, I don’t understand why he’s getting upset. Especially when formula costs so much money too. It’s not his body. It’s not his sacrifice.

I’m 15 weeks PP, mostly BF, and still have zero desire to be intimate with my husband again… when does the drive come back? Before pregnancy/baby I was very intimate with him, and I’ve always believed it’s a very important part of a marriage. But now, I hate even the thought of it. I am trying, and he is very respectful/patient regarding the situation. He does tell me he misses me and doesn’t feel as connected as we used too, I get it, as I feel it too. But I really don’t know how to get my drive back. I’m so tired most of the time , I do basically everything hard with the baby including all nights. My husband works. I decided to stay home longer after realizing how hard it was to leave my baby but also trust someone else to take care of him. I’m just wondering if BF is a big part of this? When did your sex drive come back?

My baby is 14 weeks old now, and coming into his own. Everyone always tells you about the negative, the hard part of having a baby. No one talks about how cool it is to see something you created learn how to be a human. Every day there’s something new with him. A new sound, a new skill, a new curiosity. I absolutely love seeing him grow and change. He’s starting to reach/grab things now, and make so many adorable noises. Whenever I have him stand and put some weight on his feet he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and loves it. I love just watching him and thinking about how I grew this whole person inside me, and now I’m literally growing him each day. When I find myself struggling with some of the harder things, I try to focus on these moments more. As just like the harder moments, these amazing moments will pass as well.

Nothing makes you realize how fast time goes like having a baby! Just wanted to share something positive to being in the trenches.

We got stationed at Fort Bliss in El Paso last summer. I was pregnant and had our baby in February this year. I thought initially I didn’t like it here because I was pregnant, sick and miserable. I was also incredibly home sick as it was our first PCS together. I left my career, family and friends behind. Fast forward to now, I still hate it here. I seriously cannot wait for these 3 years to be up and go somewhere new. I’m thankful we do get to move and are not stuck here. Im trying to find the good in it, but it’s hard. Especially being a new mom and having no one here. Add the heat, so I can’t just take my baby and go do the things I would have done before. Such as hiking, going for walks, just getting outside during the day. (we came from WA state) Im pretty independent so I don’t mind doing things solo, or with my little side kick now. We are also older. I’m 38 and my husband is 36, so it’s harder to find friends in this world. We don’t drink a ton or party. My husband has been in for 15 years, he is a lot more used to this than I am. It’s not the military life though for me, it’s really just El Paso. I’m thankful the base itself isn’t bad. We live off post but I actually don’t mind going to the PX area. Anyway, just my little rant right now. I know there’s good too, but I’m just struggling right now.

FTM and my son is 3 months old. I absolutely love and adore him, I didn’t know love like this could exist. When I think about returning to work, leaving him for 8-10 hours a day, putting him in day care with strangers, or even leaving him for that long with a family member it hurts my heart so much and almost makes me sick. I know women have been doing this… but I seriously do not know how to return to work and be ok. What if he needs me? What if something goes wrong? All the thoughts flood my mind and tears fill my eyes when I even think about it. I struggle still to even leave him for a couple hours. How, like HOW do we move forward?
I NEVER knew I could be this way. I’ve never been a super soft person. I’ve always been very independent, worked and prided myself on that. Now I could care less about it.

I had a baby 3 months ago. Prior to the baby, my MIL and I got along fine. She has lived with us in and off at times, and she lives back and forth between our house and my BIL house. She moved in to stay with us indefinitely right before the baby was born to help out. Needless to say everything has changed. A lot of it has to do with her over stepping, out dated practices when it comes to the baby, unsolicited advice, and just constantly hovering over me. It’s taken everything in me not to become disrespectful to her. When I have spoken to my husband about the issues going on, he is either A. Very defensive of her. B. Makes excuses for her. Or C. Tells me to just ignore her. We have had some serious arguments about her at this point. I feel bad because in no longer want her living here. She creates more work for me than anything else. I end up hiding in my room with the baby just so I don’t have to hear her comments or deal with explaining why I’m doing something with the baby. My husband loves his mom and has always wanted to take care of her. So I’m in this position where she stays, I am miserable and am becoming resentful. She leaves, my husband becomes resentful of me.
Some important context- she doesn’t work or drive, she’s in my house all the time. My BIL lives in another state, as we are military. So there’s no where for anyone to go to have a break easily. She is also Hispanic, so we have some cultural differences but they have never been an issue until now with the baby.
Guys, if you were a traditional mamas boy I would love some input. If you went through struggles with your wife and mom having issues I’d love some advice from your perspective.

This post is primarily to vent because I can’t vent to my husband about his mom. My MIL lives with us, and I have a 12 week old baby boy. FTM for me. Since the baby got here, I have had my share of challenges with her… I’ve discovered that my husband is incredibly defensive of his mom, so after many fights, I no longer bring anything to him. I just take the baby and go in the other room. We are currently dealing with the day time nap battle. She constantly makes comments to let the baby cry instead of soothing him or picking him up. It’s pissing me off more and more. It’s not a method I care for. I do not always pick him up right away, as I can usually tell if he just needs his pacifier and my hand on his chest, or when he is fully awake and I need to maybe rock or bounce him some. Or when the nap is crap and I need to just surrender it. I usually let him fuss a little after I gave him the pacifier if he does, sometimes he goes to sleep and sometimes he escalates. Anyway, she has so many out dated methods and so much unsolicited advice that it is making me crazy. She’s also Hispanic and we have a language barrier between us, that doesn’t help the situation. I’ve had so many conversations with my husband where he either tells me to just ignore her (which is impossible since we are both in the house all day every day together. She can’t drive and doesn’t work) or he gets defensive of her. We are also military, so I’m way away from any family where I could go to get a break or something. Anyway… just venting. I’ve learned that if someone hasn’t had a baby with in the last 5 years, 10 years max, I don’t want to hear it from them.

If you changed what you were eating due to your babies gas, what actually helped? My 12 week old has had very bad and painful gas the last couple days. It’s affecting him even eating and staying latched at times. I currently do gas drops, tummy massages, all the leg movements recommended and it seems like it barely helps, if at all. I don’t know if there’s something I’m eating specifically making it worse, if that really plays a big role into things? He has recently been more vocal, both in giggles and in crying at times, so I know he’s taking on more air too. Just curious what worked for others?