u/GG-92

I've got some really bad social anxiety and I'm always afraid people are going to judge me for being weird or awkward so I end up adding people and just never following through with actually playing with them. I thought maybe hearing people's crazy stories might make me feel less bad about my own struggles and ease my mind a little enough to give me the confidence to get out there and actually make some friends

I know how pathetic that sounds. I should be able to save myself. I should be able to get out and find better. I know I deserve better. I just want to be held and loved, for someone to tell me it's going to be okay. I just want to cry and for it to be okay. For someone to comfort me. It's been 5 years and I can't even tell you how much every fiber of my being yearns for it. I feel ashamed of myself. I've been having horrible thoughts lately of finding someone else so I can finally leave. Last night I almost got scammed by someone on Reddit posing as a real person because I was so desperate. So desperate to feel loved and wanted. I have a therapist but it's not helping. I'm on disability, stuck living with my parents, no car, no job, trying every day to do better, be better and I've come so far. You have no idea how far I've come but it's not enough. I can't leave. It would hurt too much to go back to the way it was before. I was in such a bad place. No friends, stuck in this house, and no way to even go out and meet people. I can barely leave the house and even if I could the people here in my town aren't like me. I'm a thinker. I think so deeply and I soak up knowledge like a sponge. I want to talk about life and science and meaning and nerdy things like Star Wars and Marvel and video games. All these people want to do is hunting and fishing and hiking. I hate living in a rural area but I can't leave. I have no means to do so. I managed to find someone who at least tolerates me, even if she's mean to me and I feel like I'm her slave. I don't want advice (unless you just won the lottery and want to share!). I just want somebody, anybody, to take time to get to know me and love me. I know I have a beautiful soul. I'm so funny and silly and kind and quirky in the best ways. I just need a chance to show it to someone who will actually see me...

On the one hand I'm having a really rough time lately. I don't want this post to be too long but it's a lot and I don't really have many friends who don't judge me or try to give me advice. It'd be really nice to have a soft place to land, I guess. A kind voice who actually wants to know about me and what's going on, and who is curious and asks questions rather than just assuming they can fix my problems.

On the other hand I'm autistic and ADHD and if you know anything about us neurodivergent folk we love, love, looove our special interests and the greatest gift in the universe to us is when we meet someone who shares our enthusiasm for those interests. I don't know what it is, but boy howdy, sharing my excitement with a fellow vibrant soul who feels the same just makes my little nerdy heart sing and when I am excited and have no one to share it with there's a deep empty hole where my nerdy best friend should be.

Is it too much to ask for both? I honestly don't know but I guess we're going to find out here, aren't we dear reader? I guess I should tell you what has been floating my boat lately then, shouldn't I? Well here ya go:

The show Lanterns on HBO Max

Hype for Avengers Doomsday and Vision Quest

Speculation about Ahsoka season 2 and upcoming Star Wars projects

Playing the final days of Destiny 2 while getting high on copium that the franchise has a future

Crying in the shower listening to the bands Sleep Token, PRESIDENT, and Bad Omens

I know this is going to sound really stupid, real first world problems type shit, but as an autistic and ADHD adult who is absolutely in love with their special interests it's just a really unique kind of painful, empty loneliness when you have no one to share the things that light you up with who lights up back. Like yeah, I have people I can talk about speculation about Ahsoka season 2 or Avengers Doomsday or any number of Marvel or Star Wars products that are coming up or about my favorite game, Destiny 2, that got killed recently that there's a ton of speculation around or what new metal band is working on music but it's just not the same as having someone who lights up with joy back and, I don't know, it just hurts. I feel like I have this empty hole in my heart where my nerdy best friend belongs 💔

I know this is going to sound really stupid, real first world problems type shit, but as an autistic and ADHD adult who is absolutely in love with their special interests it's just a really unique kind of painful, empty loneliness when you have no one to share the things that light you up with who lights up back. Like yeah, I have people I can talk about speculation about Ahsoka season 2 or Avengers Doomsday or any number of Marvel or Star Wars products that are coming up or about my favorite game, Destiny 2, that got killed recently that there's a ton of speculation around or what new metal band is working on music but it's just not the same as having someone who lights up with joy back and, I don't know, it just hurts. I feel like I have this empty hole in my heart where my nerdy best friend belongs 💔

I don't want to get too much into the specifics here on Reddit. I don't really feel comfortable putting specific details about what I'm struggling with on Reddit, but suffice to say, I'm having a really difficult time and I don't have a support network. I've tried groups but I just get lost in them because I'm autistic and I'm shy.

I'm really just looking for people who aren't going to judge me or try to give me advice—I'm not really looking for that kind of support. I'm just looking for a soft place to land, I guess. I want a kind voice who actually wants to know about me and what's going on, and who is curious and asks questions rather than just assuming they can fix my problems.

Otherwise, I'm 32 and I'm just your average Redditor. As far as interests go, I'm just a nerd and a gamer, typical Redditor stuff

If you want to DM me, my DMs are open.

I don't want to get too much into the specifics here on Reddit. I don't really feel comfortable putting specific details about what I'm struggling with on Reddit, but suffice to say, I'm having a really difficult time and I don't have a support network. I've tried groups but I just get lost in them because I'm autistic and I'm shy.

I'm really just looking for people who aren't going to judge me or try to give me advice—I'm not really looking for that kind of support. I'm just looking for a soft place to land, I guess. I want a kind voice who actually wants to know about me and what's going on, and who is curious and asks questions rather than just assuming they can fix my problems.

Otherwise, I'm just your average editor. As far as interests go, I'm just a nerd and a gamer (you know, classic golden retriever gamer boy).

If you want to DM me, my DMs are open.

I'm struggling with the emotional abuse and neglect in my relationship and I have no one else. I have a therapist, and that's about it as far as emotional support goes.

You might say, "join a support group." I don't want to get into it too much but I am neurodivergent and I just haven't found those groups to be very helpful for me. I can explain more, I just don't really like putting it all out there in public for people to judge me. Suffice to say, it just didn't work for me.

I just really wish I had someone to talk to about this on a more regular basis who isn't going to judge me or try to give advice or tell me to leave. I don't know if this is the right place to look for that, but I don't really know what else to do. My DMs are open

I'm struggling with the emotional abuse and neglect in my relationship and I have no one else. I have a therapist, and that's about it as far as emotional support goes.

You might say, "join a support group." I don't want to get into it too much but I am neurodivergent and I just haven't found those groups to be very helpful for me. I can explain more, I just don't really like putting it all out there in public for people to judge me. Suffice to say, it just didn't work for me.

I just really wish I had someone to talk to about this on a more regular basis who isn't going to judge me or try to give advice or tell me to leave. I don't know if this is the right place to look for that, but I don't really know what else to do. My DMs are open.

I'm struggling with the emotional abuse and neglect in my relationship and I have no one else. I have a therapist, and that's about it as far as emotional support goes.

You might say, "join a support group." I don't want to get into it too much but I am neurodivergent and I just haven't found those groups to be very helpful for me. I can explain more, I just don't really like putting it all out there in public for people to judge me. Suffice to say, it just didn't work for me.

I just really wish I had someone to talk to about this on a more regular basis who isn't going to judge me or try to give advice or tell me to leave. I don't know if this is the right place to look for that, but I don't really know what else to do. My DMs are open.