u/GardenGnome021090

Hi! Long time listener but this is my first post here! A little backstory, my mom and I (21 F) have had a rocky-ish relationship (oldest daughter to a boy mommy iykyk). She has always been very opinionated, rude, and manipulative. She is the type to make passive aggressive jabs just to make a point that I messed up and has never been shy to take any opportunity to tell me what I’m doing wrong with my life. She once said that when I was getting my CNA certification, that she was “GOING to give me money for the course” but since I got a tattoo a couple months before I “clearly didn’t need the money”. The kicker….? I never asked her for money and that conversation was them asking how my course was going. My dad has usually been the type to blindly back her up but as their relationship has gotten rocky itself has over the years (partially due to him being more passive and her walking all over him) he’s seemed to stop blindly backing her up when she does things like this.

Now to the real issue that started months ago. When I got engaged to my fiancé (27M) in December last year I had a gut feeling there was going to be at least some problems with my mom, but I was hoping for the best. Most of the planning went well, still stressful, but well. The main issue started a few months ago when we had solidified the guest list and my parents came to me and my fiancé asking us to invite 22 extra people as a “favor” to them. 6 were my dad’s pick and 16 were my mom’s, so I told them we would compromise and I could do 10 out of the 22. We double checked the 10 picked and it was confirmed by both parents that they were okay with the ones chosen. We thought all was well until a week ago when my MOH told me my mom was talking about the guest list and how she was unhappy with it (and that she didn’t get her way with it). My MOH shut her down and I thought it was over and we just needed to have a conversation with them at some point. Yesterday morning, my fiancé told me that she was texting my MOH about the guest list again, so being frustrated, i knew we needed to talk sooner than later. I sent a text to her, my dad, and included my fiancé stating that if they had any issues with the guest list to come directly to me and my fiancé. My dad called me almost immediately and told me he had nothing to do with anything relating to the guest list and he had no idea my mom was complaining about it. I told him we had already assumed that and putting him in the text chain was to inform him of what she was doing, as well as warn her that she’s not as sneaky as she thought. Yesterday evening, I got a notification that someone (who was apart of the 12 people not invited) bought us a gift via Zola. Since the only way to access it is by having the direct link, I knew my mom had taken a picture of the invite and sent it to that person. Both me and my fiancé are angry because she went behind our backs and manipulated the situation to suit her. I called my dad and told him what she did. He sounded defeated and told me that if I needed him to be with us when I talked to her he would do that but it was my choice.

My fiancé and I have already set a date and time to talk to her (tomorrow) but there’s one bit of conflict. My fiancé thinks uninviting the guests who my mom invited, and making her do it, is the best way to punish her and show her that her actions have consequences. I’m torn because I want her to feel the embarrassment and the burn but I also don’t want these family members to feel hurt by it unnecessarily. So Reddit, AITAH if I uninvited them and make her do it as a lesson that deception isn’t okay?

She has her dream wedding in mind and is making it abroad. But she has no connections to that place neither do any of her friends of family. She can afford it and i am happy for her but she does not cover anything for any guests. Nor does she offer help if someone (me) is struggling to get there. She does not act flexibly and expects that her friends pay for her bachelorette and her destination wedding (separate events). I always assumed if one makes a destination wedding they must cover some costs at least. I have been to one before and the bride paid for the hotel. This girl pays for nothing and chose a venue that requires us to stay at least 5 days when the wedding is 1 day. I asked her if i can stay 3 days in another hotel and she got upset that I am stressing her out and that I am not happy for her because I am not prioritizing my finances and time. Therefore- she uninvited me. I got mad at her and called her selfish. I one day too want a destination wedding in Italy, but I will either pay for my guests or I would not have it - will a destination wedding make me a hypocrite?

Update: i forgot to mention i am her bridesmaid. I accepted the invitation but later I lost my job and she had no compassion. Therefore i told her i will stay less days there and she got upset.

AITA for getting so mad at her?

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I (28F) have worked at the same job for about four years. When I first started, I became close with a group of coworkers. Most of us were between 23 and 28 years old, and I'm one of the only women in the office. We hung out outside of work all the time, went to parties, and I genuinely thought these people were my friends.
Looking back, there were warning signs that I ignored. At one lake party, one of the guys in the group who also had a girlfriend intentionally exposed his penis to me. I remember feeling shocked and uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to react. I didn't want to make a scene or create drama, so I tried to brush it off and move on.
As time went on, the group dynamic changed. The jokes stopped feeling harmless and started feeling personal. They joked about my appearance, called me stupid, and constantly made me the butt of the joke. I laughed it off for a long time because I didn't want to seem overly sensitive, but it slowly chipped away at me.
One coworker also had a habit of touching my shoulder every time he walked past me. It wasn't necessary, and it made me uncomfortable. I eventually told him directly that I didn't like being touched and asked him to stop. Instead of feeling like my concern was respected, I felt like it was brushed aside. Now, every single time he walks past me, he dramatically says, "Excuse me," even when there's plenty of room to walk by. It honestly feels like he's mocking me for speaking up about my boundaries.
Around that time, I made a mistake too. I started talking to one of the guys in the group. I realized I wasn't interested in a relationship and told him that I didn't want to continue things romantically. I know that hurt his feelings, and I regret not figuring that out sooner because I never intended to lead him on.
After that, everything seemed to change. I can't say for certain what happened behind the scenes, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hurt and that it affected how the rest of the group treated me. People who had always been friendly suddenly became distant. I started hearing that I was "mean" and "drama," and it felt like everyone had already decided who was in the right without ever talking to me.
The hardest part was losing the two people I considered my closest friends. I wasn't asking them to stop being friends with him or choose sides. I simply told them that I wasn't comfortable hanging out in group settings if he was going to be there because the situation was awkward and emotionally draining for me. They continued inviting him to everything and expected me to come anyway. It made me feel like my comfort and feelings didn't matter.
Eventually, I stopped showing up to group events because I was tired of putting myself in situations where I felt unwelcome. Over time, I realized I was anxious every time I was around them. Between the disrespect, my boundaries not being taken seriously, and feeling like I had lost the people I trusted most, I decided to cut all of them off. I removed them from my social media, stopped talking to them outside of work, and now keep everything strictly professional.
Sometimes I still question whether I overreacted because I know rejecting someone can hurt their feelings. At the same time, I also think about everything that happened before and after that and wonder if these friendships were ever genuine to begin with.
If you were in my position, would you have handled it differently?

So my daughter has been asking me to take them to the park, I couldn’t because I recently had a baby that was staying the NICU. Since that’s over now, I’m able to take them to more places. I only left my oldest in the house with his dad.

I(35F)

My sister in-law was over with her daughter for our girls day at the park. They had the sprinklers out and waterice so I thought it was good to take them out.

Kids:(8,4,7)

The park was slightly packed but that was okay, the girls brought a bag full of toys because I guess they were role playing.

Few minutes passed and the girls were running around, I still watched them as I was feeding my baby. At the corner of my eye I could see a boy around the same age as the girls, yelling at his mom, she looked like she couldn’t handle him. One side was where her husband sat but he was on his phone. I would see them a lot when I came to the park.

I didn’t think anything of it, the girls were playing in the sprinklers. I could see the little boy from earlier just following them, I didn’t know why. The girls didn’t notice it because chile they were running around everywhere.

They stopped playing with the toys they brought, eventually he tried to join them in whatever game they were planning. They went back to their toys, as they were playing, in the blink of an eye he just snatched my niece toy out her hand. I was about to say something, my daughter already came up to me though.

She said she he keeps taking their toys, I validated her. I told her it’s okay, she doesn’t have to play with everyone. I asked if the girls wanted to move to another area in the park.

They agreed.

I thought it was good, the girls continued to have fun but the boy followed. Thins time he made it known, the girls were getting frustrated. They weren’t being mean to him.

That’s when the mom came over, she was carrying a baby and a fussy toddler. Before I could react, she asked the girls if they can include him in their games. Before I could say anything, my daughter said “ we just want to play together”

The boy seemed disappointed and sad. So the girls gave him a try to play with them. That don’t work out, he was very rough with them, when they would change the game he would scream. So the girls called it quits and wanted to leave.

As they gathered their toys, the mother came over with an irritated look. She told me that her son has autism and has a hard time making friends and that I’m raising my girls to be hateful. I told her she has no right to insult me, I sympathize with her but my girls are not obligated to play with anyone.

She dismissed how the girls would feel. Her husband came over, He looked directly into the woman face and told her to be quiet and she did. He left after that, she had the kids. A nearby mom said it wouldn’t have killed them to include them.

Aitah?