u/Given_or_Taken

Everyone seems to be doing so well on this medication but me. People are losing tons of weight with zero side effects and I'm just sitting here losing nothing and experiencing a plethora of side effects like I never did while on Mounjaro/Zepbound. It's like I'm losing everything BUT the weight... I'm losing all my hair, losing my freaking eyebrows, my voice, my peace of mind, even lower blood pressure, I might have pulsatile tinnitus now, etc. I took a break from the med for 11 days, started again, and everything hit me again like a truck. I don't have thyroid issues, I eat plenty of protein, and I'm not dehydrated. My only side effect on brand name was anxiety (sucked, but nothing like this). My doctor told me I have to pause the Tirz until after my MRI since all these symptoms started with Tirz and are made worse when I inject - and I'm only on 1mg! It just freaking sucks man. This stuff isn't cheap. I hate that my insurance stopped covering the brand name. I feel like I have to switch to compound Sema but there's additives, ugh. I bought this Hyalo vial of Tirz for no reason, just to suffer. I'm so jealous of you all.

A few weeks into Tirz, I noticed I was coughing quite a bit and my voice was getting more and more hoarse/raspy. I wake up sounding terrible, I can hardly sing like I used to, and I cough so much at night especially my husband is worried about me. I took a 10-day break from Tirz due to a procedure and I had no coughing with improvement in the hoarseness. Aftet my procedure, I started again and starting coughing again that night. Vocal hoarseness also returned. I took another break, injected today, and I'm coughing again. My doctor put me on Famotidine (Pepcid) but I know that will take some time. Has anyone experienced this side effect? I never got any side effects with Mounjaro/Zepbound, but even on 1mg per week on compound Tirz I have a ton of side effects. This freaking sucks man. I almost want to give up, but this hasn't been cheap. Has anyone treated hoarseness/coughing and eventually returned to normal? Thyroid labs are normal, hydration is also good.

This question is for those who reconciled with a wayward partner: Do you ever regret choosing reconciliation instead of moving on? Why or why not?

This question is for those who reconciled with a wayward partner: Do you ever regret choosing reconciliation instead of moving on? Why or why not?

For the past two doses, I've felt lightheaded immediately after injecting. Is the med going into a capillary or something? It didn't happen with my first two doses, but it has with these last two. No change in dose. I naturally have lower blood pressure, so I feel those side effects too. But I find it weird that a symptom would hit me so hard immediately following the injection, almost like something going into the bloodstream.

Any reviews on BTR.org? Did you find it helpful? Not helpful? Any feedback helps. Thank you!

Are there any groups for women other than BTR? I planned on joining it but I read a post here that made me not so sure if I'd like the format, and that's a lot of money to spend if I don't like it. I started courses with Bloom, I'm reading "The Betrayal Bind" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life", but I want to join some online groups ASAP. I'm having a really difficult time navigating this extremely painful season.

​

Thank you.

He wanted to become a deacon in the Coptic Orthodox church before we met. I loved that and supported it. It never came back up again. He stopped going to church and was not the spiritual head of this family at all. I was engaged twice before meeting him, but the reason I chose him was because of his dedication to the church. But now he has cheated on me, and he's rededicated himself to his faith.

I woke up this morning crying, saying goodbye to him in my sleep. I thought about all the hair I've lost, the research he did with ChatGPT to study Indonesian women's faces to find out what their vaginas might be like, how he deleted the rest of the "explicit" evidence so I'll never know about it, how he crafted a plan for remarriage in Indonesia and was preparing to leave my son and I behind for a fantasy. I said, "Why God? Why my husband? Why MY husband?" Then I wake up to a text from my husband that he's officially been ordained as a deacon, he wants to serve our family, this and that.

I congratulated him, told him God bless him, and meant it. I have always wanted this for him. But part of me feels the cruelty of it all. Why did I have to be cheated on and traumatized for him to finally live righteously? Why do my son and I have to start over without him so he could get right with God and make his dreams come true? I was hoping he would leave back to the East Coast (his former home) so I could begin healing. But now, as a deacon to a local church, he's likely not going anywhere.

He asked me, is there really no chance for reconciliation? He wants us to talk to the priest. For each decade of my life, someone has traumatized me sexually. Now my own husband, despite knowing that, has added another trauma to my soul. Priests, remorse, and reconciliation cannot bring back the evidence he deleted, which robbed me of the opportunity to know how far things really went.

Some extra context: Husband is a convert. I've never met the Abouna nor been to the church. He started attending after the betrayal was discovered in March. I asked him to take me to this church (ANY church) several times over the years, and he always made excuses. Now he is a deacon there. Does the Coptic Orthodox church have no vetting process? Is it normal to not talk to the wife before ordaining a deacon? Is it because I'm not Coptic Orthodox (I'm Protestant/Orthodox inquirer) and we were married civilly?

He wanted to become a deacon in the Coptic Orthodox church before we met. I loved that and supported it. It never came back up again. He stopped going to church and was not the spiritual head of this family at all. I was engaged twice before meeting him, but the reason I chose him was because of his dedication to the church. But now he has cheated on me, and he's rededicated himself to his faith.

I woke up this morning crying, saying goodbye to him in my sleep. I thought about all the hair I've lost, the research he did with ChatGPT to study Indonesian women's faces to find out what their vaginas might be like, how he deleted the rest of the "explicit" evidence so I'll never know about it, how he crafted a plan for remarriage in Indonesia and was preparing to leave my son and I behind for a fantasy. I said, "Why God? Why my husband? Why MY husband?" Then I wake up to a text from my husband that he's officially been ordained as a deacon, he wants to serve our family, this and that.

I congratulated him, told him God bless him, and meant it. I have always wanted this for him. But part of me feels the cruelty of it all. Why did I have to be cheated on and traumatized for him to finally live righteously? Why do my son and I have to start over without him so he could get right with God and make his dreams come true? I was hoping he would leave back to the East Coast (his former home) so I could begin healing. But now, as a deacon to a local church, he's likely not going anywhere.

He asked me, is there really no chance for reconciliation? He wants us to talk to the priest. For each decade of my life, someone has traumatized me sexually. Now my own husband, despite knowing that, has added another trauma to my soul. Priests, remorse, and reconciliation cannot bring back the evidence he deleted, which robbed me of the opportunity to know how far things really went.

He wanted to become a deacon before we met. I loved that and supported it. Sadly, it never came back up again. He stopped going to church, stopped seeing his Bible, and he was not the spiritual head of the family I hoped he would be. I was engaged twice before meeting him, but the reason I chose him was because of his dedication to the church. But now he has cheated on me, and he's rededicated himself to his faith.

I woke up this morning crying, saying goodbye to him in my sleep. I thought about all the hair I've lost, the research he did with ChatGPT to study Indonesian women's faces to find out what their vaginas might be like, how he deleted the rest of the "explicit" evidence so I'll never know about it, and how he was preparing to leave my son and I behind for a fantasy. I said, "Why God? Why my husband? Why MY husband?" Then I wake up to a text from my husband that he's officially been ordained as a deacon, he wants to serve our family, this and that.

I congratulated him, told him God bless him, and meant it. I have always wanted this for him. But part of me feels the cruelty of it all. Why did I have to be cheated on and traumatized for him to finally live righteously? Why do my son and I have to start over without him so he can get right with God and make his dreams come true?

He asked me, is there no chance for reconciliation. He wants us to talk to the priest. For each decade of my life, someone has traumatized me sexually. Now my own husband, despite knowing that, has added another trauma to my soul. Priests, remorse, and reconciliation cannot bring back the evidence he deleted, which robbed me of the opportunity to know how far things really went.

I'll give a backstory, and then ask why the heck this man is crying about me wanting a divorce?

My husband (31M) betrayed me (39F) last year by planning another life. I found out about it two months ago. He was researching the "passport bros" lifestyle and through that, decided it would be better for him to divorce me and go out to Indonesia and find a submissive sex slave. He studied them in ways that cross into sexual immorality in our religion. He objectified and fetishized these women while still presenting himself as my husband. He ran a whole analysis on these women on ChatGPT, including using the Taoist practice of reading faces to determine vaginal size (loose vs. tight), sexual temperament, personality ("respecting the patriarchy"), etc. Apparently he decided to stay anyway, telling himself he'd give one final try at the marriage, but once we got closer/increased our intimacy, the truth was revealed to me when looking through his app download history (Indonesian/Singaporean flight apps). That was two months ago, and I've been receiving evidence in installments ever since. Each time we're intimate, something new comes up. For example, his ChatGPT said he "repeatedly frames Singapore as a place for weddings". He told me he did this because he "can't have sex outside of marriage", so he'd have to go to the one Orthodox church in Asia to marry, which is in Singapore. About a week later, I told him to ask ChatGPT about everything he had told it about Indonesia/Singapore and show me, since I deserve transparency as his wife, and he was going all of this while married to me and sleeping with me. He refused to show me, and deleted the evidence. So, after two months of claiming to be "redeemed" and repentant, he is still being deceitful. He clutched a Bible and told me about the Taoist practices, the tribes, etc. I asked him last night, what tribe were you going to marry into? He named it instantly (Tao Batak). The information is so fresh, and was clearly so sustained, that he named it right away.

I have decided to divorce, and I communicated that I cannot reconcile after sexual immorality (Matthew 5:28, Matthew 19:9), and the fact that he robbed me of ever knowing the full truth when he deleted his ChatGPT history. Whatever was in there was so extreme, that he made the decision to choose himself over our marriage, my pain, and honesty - again! Now, he is the most distraught I've ever seen a man in my entire life. He wails at night, he cries into his Bible, he shakes like a leaf at the thought of losing me, he begs, he pleads, etc. I'm sure many of you have seen this all before. I've seen it in my early childhood, when my abusive father would cry and plead with my mom after he'd been out cheating on her all night. When my husband grabbed me and cried in my chest, I literally had a flashback to my own father. This is a nightmare.

I want to know, why do they do this? If my husband was so ready to get out that he planned his escape down to the exact location he would live in and the tribe he would marry into, why is he crying now? Wouldn't this be the time to execute his plan? He's done all the research, I haven't. I'm starting from scratch on "post-divorce planning" (yes, he called looking into other vaginas post-divorce planning). Why is he on the floor begging to be with someone he emotionally left ages ago?

I'm severely traumatized. My husband knows about my childhood trauma and sexual trauma history, and I begged him to never chest on me. Still, he made a deliberate decision to add betrayal trauma to my list of traumatic experiences.

Before someone says, "but he didn't cheat on you", understand that just because I haven't uncovered a physical act, or another woman, doesn't mean it didn't happen. I have a husband who continues to hide and deceive me, and I'll never know how far this went because he took that from me. He has been on the ground crying. I see a man carrying more guilt than I know about. Also, he agreed that if I had been, for example, researching the d*ck sizes of the Mandingo tribe or Congolese men, that would've been sexual immorality, so we both agree what he did is grounds for divorce, although he's decided to fight for the marriage. It's too late, and that breaks my heart. </3

If anyone is curious, I do have a child who my husband met as a toddler, and he's now 11 years old. They are very close. Whenever I think about softening, I think about how my husband was going to leave me and my sweet child in tears for an overseas fantasy.

I've decided to divorce my husband for adultery. He is a Coptic Orthodox convert and I'm a Protestant Christian and Catechumen. I never officiallv became Orthodox, and we didn't marry in the church, so I realize the church views are marriage as a "civil marriage". Does that mean the Coptic Orthodox church views are marriage as not being real? don't understand how he has been takina the Eucharist this whole time while married to a Protestant and without doing confession, but that's not my problem anymore. I know that biblically I'm free to remarry since adultery occured, but what about him? Does the church allow multiple marriages to people who break the marriage covenant with sinful acts?

I've decided to divorce my husband for adultery. He is a Coptic Orthodox convert and I'm a Protestant Christian and Catechumen. We didn't marry in the church, and I'm not Orthodox yet, so I realize the church views our marriage as a "civil marriage". Does that mean the Coptic Orthodox church views our marriage as not real? I don't understand how he has been taking the Eucharist this whole time while married to a Protestant and without doing confession, but that's not my problem anymore. Just more of the deceptive nature. I know that biblically I'm free to remarry since adultery occured, but what about him? Does the church allow multiple marriages to people who break the marriage covenant?

So, I used to take Mounjaro back in 2022 and I had so much anxiety on it that I stopped around 10 mg. A few years later I decide to give it another try because my BMI is crazy and Tirz did work for weight loss back then, more than Wegovy or Saxenda. I decide doing compound will help me have more control of the dosing.

So I started Tirz from Apothecary/Quaker, only 6 units to start, about 1.08mg according to the NP. I almost immediately felt very tired on the way to church. While listening to the pastor, my vision seemed different, like lightheadedness/derealization. Later on, I felt a boost in my mood, but I was able to hear and feel my pulse in my ears, head pressure/fullness, headaches, increased anxiety, and lightheadedness + the pulsing sound upon standing. These symptoms worsened as the days went by. I increased my water intake and make sure to eat even when I don't feel like it. Since the pulsing in my ears matches my heartbeat, my doctor had me get a blood pressure check. It was 98/56, which is pretty low for me. The NP at GimmeCare told me to go ahead and hold the next dose, and wait until I'm feeling back to normal, then a discussion can be had about starting even lower around 0.5 mg. She said it'd be good to find out if this is medication-intolerance vs anxiety symptoms.

Has anyone ever felt the pulse awareness in your ears, or head pressure? When I'm stressed (having marital issues), the side effects are even more pronounced and very scary. Also, at my last hair wash, I lost a fistful of hair. I started losing hair while on Wegovy over the years, but I didn't mention this particular incident with Tirz to the NP because I thought only a few days on would be too soon to start losing hair.

I really wish I could handle this. It does feel differently than the brand Mounjaro side effects, but who knows, that could be because of the stress I'm experiencing in life right now. I really don't want my marriage issues to get in the way of me being healthy again. Not anymore. :'(

Brothers and sisters, I'm really struggling and I do not know where to go from here. My heart is broken, my soul is shaken.

My husband (31M) and I (39F) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. We have a child (11M) together that I adopted in infancy, so my husband is his stepfather. About two months ago, during a moment of closeness, I was looking a my husband's app download history, and saw he had been downloading flight apps for Indonesia and Singapore. The most recent download was February 13. He said it was during "a bad time", where he saw the marriage wasn't going anywhere due to his needs not being met.

This is the part I need you to please be gentle, because I know what I am, I know what I'm not, and I have an extensive childhood trauma history, including (TW) sexual trauma in both childhood and adulthood. My husband does a lot for this family, and due to depression and other issues, I haven't pulled my own weight the way I should've. I asked for couples therapy in 2024, but he declined, saying, "talking won't change you." I was transparent with my husband and told him I wasn't very domesticated before we even met in person (we met on a Christian dating site). I wanted him to have that opportunity to make a decision based on that, and he still chose to date me, get engaged to me, and make me his wife. Years later, he has listened to content creators on TikTok, YouTube, and podcasts that shill the "passport bros" lifestyle. He listened to influencers who say, "western wife bad, eastern woman good", generalizing that eastern women are more traditional, and thus make better wives. My husband felt a sense of entitlement, and decided instead of telling me he was considering leaving me, he would plan a new life, hand me the divorce papers, and fly out to make his dreams come true. He said he decided in February to give us one more shot, and things got better between us. Then, his download history was exposed, and I've been shattered ever since.

I have unmet needs in this marriage too, particularly around how I believe the spiritual head of the family should lead, but I never searched online for a different life, a different type of man who could meet my needs. He showers me with love and adoration, and presented himself as my husband, while still being seduced by what his life after me could be like - moving to Indonesia, getting married in Singapore ("the only Orthodox Christian Church in Asia"), and paying cheap rent out there so he can afford to pay me spousal support. I don't understand how someone could show love while secretly planning to end that love.

This situation has touched on deep wounds from my childhood. My father cheated on my mother and left our family, and my mother stayed with a man who molested me when I was a kid (they're still together to this day). I didn't feel chosen as a child, and now I'm not feeling chosen as an adult. My son is aware of what happened and now feels like the world isn't safe. He doesn't understand why his caretaker and father figure would want to abandon him. I cannot even express into words how much that hurts me.

My husband wants reconciliation and wants the marriage to work, which baffles me, because up until February (at least) he was planning his exit. We are in both individual and couples therapy, we go to church more, he acts very remorseful, etc. but I dont know how to tell the difference between real remorse and someone just being afraid of losing the marriage. I don’t know how I’m supposed to trust that he is faithful now when I didn’t know before until it was too late. I also feel angry that I am now the one forced to choose between the pain of reconciliation and the pain of leaving.

I'm absolutely devastated. It's the first thought I have when I wake up and when I go to bed. I thought my husband would honor our marriage covenant. He always told me that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, that I'm his dream girl, etcl. He even told our therapist today that he's "obsessed" with me (what?). If I'm his dream, why was was he looking for someone I'm not? Why would an Orthodox Christian look into where they can marry their next wife - while still married?

He also masturbated to porn "once" during our engagement in 2021. I wanted to end it then, because I consider porn cheating, but I didn't know he had masturbated to it until this month. Back then he told me he felt "disgusted" with himself and turned it off. We weren't intimate before marriage, because we both agreed not to have sex before. I wish I'd been given the opportunity to make a decision based on the full story back then.

This is also so upsetting because we were about to start TTC, so I feel like not only am I losing my husband but he is taking my dreams of a biological child with him. I'm 39, I don't be able to get to know someone in enough time after this to have kids. It's shattering to have to say goodbye to the children I'll never get to meet. :'(

For people who have been through betrayal in marriage:

How did you know whether reconciliation was truly possible?

What actions showed real remorse and change, not just regret over getting caught?

How long did it take before you had any sense of emotional safety again?

Are there red flags that mean reconciliation is probably not wise?

And if you left, how did you know you were done?

I know strangers on Reddit can't decide my marriage for me, but I would really appreciate outside perspective. I feel heartbroken, overwhelmed, and stuck between two immensely painful paths. I even reached out to the 988 crisis lifeline the other night, because I could no longer handle the pain. I'm drowning, I feel like I'm dying. I don't know where to go. I still love my husband, though I cannot associate him with safety like I once did. We have been everything for each other all these years. I want the pain to end, but both paths lead to more of it.

Edit: Now I found out today he was looking into the sexual habits of Southeast Asian women. He refuses to show me what he said to ChatGPT, but he said it involves him asking about traits like submissiveness, domestication, and whether they decline sex or not (I got diagnosed with vaginismus during our marriage, and since that was never an issue before him, it was really painful to deal with it). He lied to me again today, and refuses to be transparent. I told him I can't beg for transparency, but I cannot reconcile while he's choosing to be dishonest. He wants the marriage to continue, but I said I cannot heal from deception if he isn't willing to build trust. I told him if he refuses to show me what he said to AI about other women while married to me, I will have to take that as choosing secrecy over rebuilding trust with me. He refuses to show me, so it seems he would prefer to make satan happy with the breaking apart of our family unit. I will pray for him that he will follow Christ, and remember 1 Corinthians 13:6 says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

Edit: He deleted his ChatGPT history regarding Indonesia to hide it from me, but put his hand on the Bible and confessed that he was using Taoism practices to study the face of Indonesian women off Google to find out what their vaginas would be like, how they'd be in bed, etc. Based on Matthew 5:27–28, this would be looking at a woman lustfully and therefore commiting adultery. Based on everything, I think I've made my decision. Thanks for all your replies. Please keep my dear son and I in your prayers. My son loves him. So do I. Please pray for us. Thank you so much, brothers and sisters. 🙏

I can't believe I'm here. I guess I'll just write from the heart, because I'm struggling - badly.

My husband (31M) and I (39F) have been together for 8 years, married for 4. We have a child (11M) together that I adopted in infancy, so my husband is his stepfather. About two months ago, during a moment of closeness, I was looking a my husband's app download history, and saw he had been downloading flight apps for Indonesia and Singapore. The most recent download was February 13. He said it was during "a bad time", where he saw the marriage wasn't going anywhere due to his needs not being met.

This is the part I need you to please be gentle, because I know what I am, I know what I'm not, and I have an extensive childhood trauma history, including (TW) sexual trauma in both childhood and adulthood. My husband does a lot for this family, and due to depression and other issues, I haven't pulled my own weight the way I should've. I asked for couples therapy in 2024, but he declined, saying, "talking won't change you." I was transparent with my husband and told him I wasn't very domesticated before we even met in person (we met on a Christian dating site). I wanted him to have that opportunity to make a decision based on that, and he still chose to date me, get engaged to me, and make me his wife. Years later, he has listened to content creators on TikTok, YouTube, and podcasts that shill the "passport bros" lifestyle. He listened to influencers who say, "western wife bad, eastern woman good", generalizing that eastern women are more traditional, and thus make better wives. My husband felt a sense of entitlement, and decided instead of telling me he was considering leaving me, he would plan a new life, hand me the divorce papers, and fly out to make his dreams come true. He said he decided in February to give us one more shot, and things got better between us. Then, his download history was exposed, and I've been shattered ever since.

I have unmet needs in this marriage too, particularly around how I believe the spiritual head of the family should lead, but I never searched online for a different life, a different type of man who could meet my needs. He showers me with love and adoration, and presented himself as my husband, while still being seduced by what his life after me could be like - moving to Indonesia, getting married in Singapore ("the only Orthodox Christian Church in Asia"), and paying cheap rent out there so he can afford to pay me spousal support. I don't understand how someone could show love while secretly planning to end that love.

This situation has touched on deep wounds from my childhood. My father cheated on my mother and left our family, and my mother stayed with a man who molested me when I was a kid (they're still together to this day). I didn't feel chosen as a child, and now I'm not feeling chosen as an adult. My son is aware of what happened and now feels like the world isn't safe. He doesn't understand why his caretaker and father figure would want to abandon him. I cannot even express into words how much that hurts me.

My husband wants reconciliation and wants the marriage to work, which baffles me, because up until February (at least) he was planning his exit. We are in both individual and couples therapy, we go to church more, he acts very remorseful, etc. but I dont know how to tell the difference between real remorse and someone just being afraid of losing the marriage. I don’t know how I’m supposed to trust that he is faithful now when I didn’t know before until it was too late. I also feel angry that I am now the one forced to choose between the pain of reconciliation and the pain of leaving.

I'm absolutely devastated. It's the first thought I have when I wake up and when I go to bed. I thought my husband would honor our marriage covenant. He always told me that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, that I'm his dream girl, etcl. He even told our therapist today that he's "obsessed" with me (what?). If I'm his dream, why was was he looking for someone I'm not? Why would an Orthodox Christian look into where they can marry their next wife - while still married?

He also masturbated to porn "once" during our engagement in 2021. I wanted to end it then, because I consider porn cheating, but I didn't know he had masturbated to it until this month. Back then he told me he felt "disgusted" with himself and turned it off. We weren't intimate before marriage, because we both agreed not to have sex before. I wish I'd been given the opportunity to make a decision based on the full story back then.

For people who have been through betrayal in marriage:

How did you know whether reconciliation was truly possible?

What actions showed real remorse and change, not just regret over getting caught?

How long did it take before you had any sense of emotional safety again?

Are there red flags that mean reconciliation is probably not wise?

And if you left, how did you know you were done?

I know strangers on Reddit can't decide my marriage for me, but I would really appreciate outside perspective. I feel heartbroken, overwhelmed, and stuck between two immensely painful paths. I even reached out to the 988 crisis lifeline the other night, because I could no longer handle the pain. I'm drowning, I feel like I'm dying. I don't know where to go. I still love my husband, though I cannot associate him with safety like I once did. We have been everything for each other all these years. I want the pain to end, but both paths lead to more of it.

Edit: Now I found out today he was looking into the sexual habits of Southeast Asian women. He refuses to show me what he said to ChatGPT, but he said it involves him asking about traits like submissiveness, domestication, and whether they decline sex or not (I got diagnosed with vaginismus during our marriage, and since that was never an issue before him, it was really painful to deal with it). He lied to me again today, and refuses to be transparent. I told him I can't beg for transparency, but I cannot attempt reconciliation while he's choosing to be dishonest. He wants the marriage continue, but I said I cannot heal from deception if he isn't willing to rebuild trust. I told him if he refuses to show me what he said to AI about other women while married to me, I will have to take that as him choosing secrecy over rebuilding trust with me. He refuses to show me, so it seems he would prefer to make satan happy with the breaking of our family unit. I will pray for him that he will follow Christ, and remember 1 Corinthians 13:6 says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

Any telehealth with additive-free Sema shipped to California? Unfortunately, we don't get Hallandale here.

Thanks!