u/Glittering_Water8583

Hi everyone! New mom here to an almost 7 month old. I have always known I wanted more than one kiddo (at least 3) I still believe I do - feel ready to physically be pregnant (not mentally) BUT it’s eating me up and consuming my brain that my baby won’t be my only anymore?? Even thinking ahead to 18 months when I’d like to start trying for another it just seems unattainable because of my strong emotions towards my first. I feel like I miss out on being present with him now because I’m thinking about the future kids.

has anyone solely decided to be one and done because feeling guilty of having another? Not imagining you could love another one like you do your first? Afraid of replacing them? The anxiety of not giving your first all the attention?

I know I’m not making any choices right now, but I just worry that the feeling of not being able to be able to divide my attention properly or always have lingering guilt that I’m not a good mom because I’m spending too much time with one compared to another will weigh too much on me but I know I’ll regret not having more 😭😅

AH!! Thank you in advance

Hi everyone! New mom here to an almost 7 month old. I have always known I wanted more than one kiddo, I still believe I do - feel ready to physically be pregnant (not mentally) so I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this BUT what was your reasoning for being one and done?

has anyone solely decided to be one and done because feeling guilty having another? Not imagining you could love another one like you do your first? Afraid of replacing them? The anxiety of not giving your first all the attention?

I know I’m not making any choices right now, but I just worry that the feeling of not being able to be able to divide my attention properly or always have lingering guilt that I’m not a good mom because I’m spending too much time with one compared to another?

AH!! Thank you in advance

I don’t even know where to start with context but my MIL pretty much is extremely overbearing, manipulative love bombs and guilt trips my husband and is now starting to be that way with our baby

She has told me while I was pregnant that she needed to BOND with the baby right out the gate, acted like she wanted skin to skin (never said it but it was that type of weird talk), doesnt want him to forget about her, and doesnt want to miss any milestones. It feels like she’s trying to insert herself as a mother role and I’m frustrated by that in itself

anyways, lately she’s made random comments about what I’m doing or should be doing with my baby that have an underlying tone of I know better than you has told me she’s going to sneak him things I have said he doesn’t need, or is “going to do things anyway“

she and my FIL are supposed to watch our baby (the first time we will ever be away from him at the same time he will be 8 months) and I’m starting to second guess asking her to babysit. I am so unsettled by her comments, and I know I won’t be able to fully enjoy the night out with my husband if I have to worry she’s going to do things I’m uncomfortable with.

oh yeah and I have witnessed her doing this with our nephew even while my husbands sister is there!

SIL will say “hey blank don’t be doing that”

MIL will then say “oh it’s okay, hes just blah blah blah and tells him dont worry about it”

So am I justified in telling her that for the first time we go out I don’t feel comfortable enough with her watching him due to comments she makes, so I’m switching baby sitters??

For my stay at home mommas who are with their babies everyday and still want to get stuff done, do things for yourself… how much time is spent being fully attentive to your baby say doing tummy time, or focusing solely on play with them? (also what are you doing for intentional time, I have a 6 month old so ideas are helpful too) I’m not counting feedings. I’m just struggling and feel guilty when I put my baby in his high chair when I’m cooking or let him play on his playmat by himself while I do laundry. I know it’s what I have to do, but I find myself not doing what I need to do and being ”attentive” (I’m present with him but not fully focused on, sometimes checking my phone more than Id like or watching a tv show in the background) all day long. So by the end of the day I feel guilty because I wasn’t 100% present and enjoying the time I spent with my baby and guilty for not getting anything done.… sorry this was long winded.

ETA: Thank you so so so much for all the responses, and stories. I truly wish I made this post months ago. It has given me a new perspective moving forward in my day to day with my little one! What I’ve been reassured about is it’s okay for babies to have their own downtime and independent play, having them tag along for chores IS okay and is still being present with my baby. I’m looking forward to less phone time, more housework and INTENTIONAL quality time with my baby!💛

I don‘t know if it’s just me but I’m a SAHM to a 6 month old, and everyday I feel like I forgot what we did, or how he has grown. I really feel like time is flying by and going so slow all at once. But I don‘t feel like I’m soaking it all in. I just would like advice for how you manage to be more present and keep memories. I don’t want to look back at this time and feel like I didn’t do enough to make it memorable. Or how to reflect on the day so it feels like I’m taking it in more.

My little one is 5 months old. I’ve put him down for maybe 4 naps. Rest have been contact naps with me or someone else. I just physically can’t get myself to do it. I feel so so sad about like I’m choosing to miss out on time with him? It feels so wrong to me but i know it’s going to have to happen. i feel like it’s selfish not to put him down so he can probably get the best rest but I also feel like it’s selfish choosing to put him down so I can what wash the dishes? When did you feel like you found a routine and balance because right now I’m so emotional about it that I can’t even fully feel present with my baby. I literally am at the verge of bawling when I go to set him in his crib for a nap so I don’t. Any tips and tricks?