u/Gloomy-Resort-3738

so I’m 19F and I was getting involved with an older guy. recently I found out he also used to talk to my friend, who’s my age and take her out for drinks or to smoke, and touch up on her. he’s 26. So the reason I think I’m in the wrong is he attempted to get with me and I made it clear I’m not gonna do anything with him unless we are exclusive. he kept dancing around that and would act like we’re a thing but also not at the same time. Eventually he told me let’s just stay friends but maybe we can grow off their and become something, and go on dates and kiss and stuff. this lowkey triggered me and it made me say a lot of hurtful things how he just goes up to every women he can because he’s lustful and desperate for intercourse. he blocked me on everything but now I realized I was basically begging him to be with me in an exclusive way even though he didn’t want that, i feel bad and now he hates me and I also did tweak on his phone and sent him a lot of mean paragraphs on how he’s almost 30 and talks to teenagers and he needs to grow up. I found out he talks to multiple women regardless of their age, and maybe I should of just stayed his freind(?) I’m not sure because I do miss him but at the same time I’m hurt he didnt know what he wanted with me. I’m also upset how I handled the situation, instead of being mean and lashing out on him I should have just blocked him Or stayed his freind. like I was basically begging him to be with me and he played along with it for a bit until he realized he couldn’t handle it and finished it with me. that triggered something in me which then I went on to say a lot of mean stuff to him like slamming his phone with mean texts on how he’s a sick guy, and how when I’m 26 I’d never talk to a 19 year old boy, then he said I’m excessive and doing to much and blocked me on everything, like I kept begging him to stay and work it out with me even tho that’s not what he wanted and I feel embarrassed

they blocked me on their number but not instagram, and we ended terribly, their was things we both did wrong and I took accountability for my part but he refused to on his. infact he ended up blocking me because he told me he’s glad this is over, and he doesn’t want to talk to me again ever. the thing is i miss him and I want to text him on insta I miss him, but last night I already texted him this really long text that he decided to leave on seen. it’s to the point where im questioning if I even liked him or if I just liked the attention he used to give me and the way I’m acting right now is because I can’t handle the rejection, especially when he did so much stuff that he dosent want to own up to.

this guy I was talking to blocked me recently and I ended up taking accountability for everything I did that was wrong, which I was very overbearing and I’d often send him a lot of texts because he’d take 1-10+ hours to respond. he also approached me and multiple different women the same day, so I told him I’d only pursue him if it wasn’t casual. he tippy toed around this and would keep me in the picture not knowing if he wanted to commit or not. I apologized for lashing out on him and saying hurtful things to him. he’s also way older then me 7 years older then me, and I just started college. the last message I sent him before he blocked me was super nice and I didn’t blame him for anything, in fact I self blamed. I wish I could go back and say well your pushing 26 and your messing around with girls 7 years younger then you… I just wish I was meaner maybe he’d self reflect

grew up in a religious household so I’ve always been very guarded when it came to having intercourse or even kissing. I’m in college now and I’m starting to get to know a lot of different people, and I’ve noticed when I mention I’m a virgin or I’m not Intrested in having sex a month in the guys just leave. I feel like I’m overwhelming the people I’m getting to know by telling them I want something exclusive and I don’t want to just have sex like that. any advice?

basically I asked my coworkers about this older guy hitting on me at our job, and they told me he goes up to every women asks for her number then eventually asks for sexual favors. sooo I kept talking to him with this in mind because my prefrontal cortex isn’t developed yet as I’m not 25 and for some god forsaken reason I thought I would be the one to change him (wrong) anyways my coworker told him I was asking around and he called me today and completely humbled me saying he didn’t want anything with me serious anyways and he only wanted something casual and how I’m annoying and all this other stuff and how I broke his biggest thing which was trust as he told me to explicitly keep it out of work. anyways now I feel a mess because I knew him for 2 months and I talked to him and he did want to do sexual stuff but I was so against it, and now it’s done because of me breaking his trust but I doubt it would have even became something anyways, even though he’d constantly told me he started to change his mind and want something serious (?) weird guy but I just graduated highschool to, I suppose take it as a lesson and move on

so we finished it today and I miss him already but he told me word for word “I think so you don’t get hurt we should stop this for now…i’m too busy to even keep up with your texts let alone hangouts and i think it’s not fair to you at all” its Been a couple hours since he told me that and I already want to tell him I miss him and his cute, cuddly self, should I just leave it delivered and move on with my life? Hes in nursing school so he’s constantly busy or studying and he’s graduating soon to so he’s busy with that, but I really like him :( I know I have to let it go

I was recently getting to know this guys who everyone warned me about, he had approached all my coworkers and asked for they’re numbers but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he’s very tall and attractive. At the very start it was amazing and we really connected until he ghosted me. I called him out for it and we argued then I called him a whore for hooking up with alot of our coroworkers and he blocked me. After a few days he unblocked me and told me I was right and he wants to change, and he dosent want to hurt me, he told me he feels like our connection is very special. eventually we went on a date and we clicked very well, we both are in college and he told me he’s bad at communicating and texting to everyone so if he dose it to me its not on purpose. eventually when id text him he’d consistently take 1-3+ hours to respond, some days he’d stop responding at like 6pm then answer the following morning. Id Get upset at him and I would send him really long paragraphs because I was anxious he’d leave me, he’d reassure me but hed never try and make an effort. A week in to getting to know me he was also asking for sexual favors to which I refused unless we are exclusive, he respected this saying he dosent want to push my boundary's. Event he started to ask me for orale and making out as friends, to which I said no and he also respected that but he did bring it up later on, and he said sorry for being lustful right after. this is still a month in and eventually I felt like we have to have a conversation about what are we? He told me he wanted to keep getting to know me slow burn, but I told him I needed him to be sure because I didn’t want to invest emotionally any further and I felt like he was just sexually attracted to me not to my personality. He kept insisting that I just go find someone else and he’s not for me, eventually he said he wants to just try as freinds for now. I lashed Out on him and said something extremely hurtful, basically he’s older almost 30 and I just graduated high school last year, but I found out he went around sleeping with a way older women for fun and she’d take him around to expensive places treat him, I basically brought that up and all the other girls on the floor he’d ask for their numbers and called him a hoe, and told him he probably only approached for my body (which he’d constantly tell me he also liked me as a person and wanted to keep getting to know me, he just didnt Wanna rush things).. I told him he’s never gonna get married because no women would stick around as long as I did because I’m gullible and young and they want someone who KNOWS what he wants. He then ended it with me saying I’m toxic and he can’t continue. I feel awful and I miss him and I know it’s my fault because he told me I’d constantly overwhelm him and I can’t handle my emotions so I just say hurtful things, but he knows this is my first ever like relationship and I’ve never even had sex so I’m Just protective over my soul and my body and didn’t want him to use me :(

we started to get to know eachother and it feels like it was going well, until he told me he just wants to go with the flow and see what happen. this kinda stung because I’m so sure about what I want, and I don’t want to end up pressuring him to be with me idk.. any advice or perspective? I just feel like as adults you should be sure of if you see yourself with this person or not long term and not just stringing them along idk

we have known each other for a solid month now, our dynamic had been very rough at first and their had been times we’d stop talking to eachother, but he’d always reach back out to me and try and keep me in his life. He's not dry, he’s very into our conversations, I tended to end things off almost immediately when we started knowing eachother when I noticed things I didn’t like he’d do, and even with that he still stayed. I’m also quick with relationships and he didn’t like that, he told me right now we are just friends getting to know eachother. with all this in mind he’s very horny, and he never pressured me into sex or anything but he really really wants oral and to make out, I think thats fun, but it’s a bit contradictory, have any of you guys done sexual stuff and ended up MORE then just freinds with benfits? I’m lowkey really into this guy but knowing his previous stuff, he’s had a lot of casual and I don’t want to just be casual to him, he’s reassured me that I’m not casual to him but I still have my doubts. I would end it at first early on a lot because hes not the best communicator BUT hes always extremely invested in what I have to say. the first time we hung out I also only gave him a slight peck on his lips then left, and hes been wanting more ever since that day.

I’m getting to know someone, and they’ve told me they’re an avoidant attachment person, I’ve called them out on their bad communication because they’d often take forever to respond to me. he told me he sees the texts he just forgets to respond and he dose it to everyone, honestly It’s annoying being left on delivered for 2+ hours and I just want to see you in person. I recently told him again that this was bothering me and he ended up telling me I keep overwhelming him which is pushing him away from me. I don’t know what to do because when we stop talking he always comes back to talk to me after 3 or 4 days, but he repeats the same patterns which hurts me because I just want to see you in person and plan a date, and when I express I’m feeling like I’m getting mixed signals he just says I’m being overwhelming. like why not just end it with me and let me move on? instead of returning back after a couple days to make amends just for the same stuff to happen? and I really like him to, like earlier he asked me what I was doing and I was like nothing wanna hang out? that was at 12pm and it’s 3:16 and no response, so I texted him like a silly flirty text and it’s like idk what to do and I feel like maybe I’m doing to much

every guy I ever get approached by always wants to have sex, and my whole thing is I will never have sex with someone unless we are exclusive. I’m a bit sad now because I feel like men have always wanted my body, but I want something more than that. I just recently stopped talking to someone and it was going so well until I mentioned I’ve never had sex because it’s a spiritual thing to me, and it’s something that should be done with someone your sure about. He stopped talking to me saying that’s a big responsibility put on him and he dosent want to hurt me and he dosent want to be responsible if he breaks my heart. I’m just devastated investing in people emotionally just for them to leave me, and it’s been really affecting me recently, like as dumb as it sounds I called out of work today because of how sad this made me, I hate getting to know people and I care for people so deeply for them to basically not want anything to do with me. I just can’t flip on people like that and it’s so upsetting

so I’m 19F and he’s 26M, when we met right of the bat he approached me, first week of us knowing each other it was great, second week nothing but arguing and arguing, he blocked me, I blocked him, then I unblocked him and he texted me and we made up. so now it’s the third week in, and honestly the arguments only began because I felt like he was to lustful? he recently told me he used to have sex with an older women and she’d basically pay for him and treat him, and take him to these expensive parts of New York, all that and she had kids to. now personally I was a bit weirded out however I tried to separate his past actions from his current self, and I genuinely do like something about him because it’s made me keep talking to him. what makes me feel awful is he keeps brining up having sex with me but it’s so transactional, I told him I don’t feel comfortable having sex unless we are together, to which he said let’s just have oral sex. I’m also a lot less inexperienced then he is so I’d prefer for someone to be gentler about it. idk should I just block him. And the thing is he knows I want to fall in love and have sex but for it to be with someone who loves me, I genuinely don’t get it..