u/GlumBlueberry8185

I dont know how to explain this exactly but maybe people who have also moved around alot can understand, even though I am not sure if this is exactly the reason for this feeling.

I feel like everyone kind of has "a life" besides me. Obviously, that seems more black/white when you have intense emotions in the moment. I often look around; people/friends have families, careers they like, a home, great friends etc. Like they "belong" to a life or a life belongs to them.

I have moved around and I have never felt like this is "my life". It is hard to explain. I have lived different lives with different friend groups, different jobs, different countries, different hobbies but I always feel like I don't somehow "fit in" or the life doesn't feel like it is mine somehow. The only times I feel "aligned" is when I am traveling, on the move. Of course I know, that it's transient but it feels the most "home" to me. Not sure that makes sense.. I have been in the same country for 7 years now, where I have also been raised mostly. I was born in ex-Yugoslavia, raised in Austria and Switzerland, than lived in South America, Singapore and Sydney. So I know this could be the reason but I often wonder is this something in me that needs to be "fixed" or is that just the result of moving around and not having real roots anywhere?

I was just researching destinations that aren't crazy expensive and not as hot for a 2-3 weeks trip in the following days. How is Bansko as a summer spot? Does anything happen there? How are the temperatures? Forecast looks good.

Thanks!

Hi all,

I just feel like sharing. Usually from approx day 20 I just feel crazy, depressed, SI, so many things, just dreading life etc. It is my first month of Slinda (drospirenone), my gyno suggested to try it first for my PMDD and if that doesnt work, to try SSRI's.

I just can't believe I am on day 25 and I just feel like a normal person. Like stable and just normal. I wish I had taken this years ago, I wanted to "stay natural" but seriously, I dont care at this point... My cycle is 28 days usually.

I will continue taking it without stop. I am supposed to take it for 3 months until we decide if this is it but I feel so good, not getting depressed and scared of my next cycle. I am 36, I havent been on any birth control since I was 21. I currently dont have a partner, so not sure if it is influencing my sex drive. One thing that is a side effect; from day 10 on or so I have been spotting. Not strongly but just little blood spots. I also feel slightly tired after I take the pill and have a weird head, kind of just before your periods when progesterone drops and you feel like you are flying in your head kind of feeling, a bit like nausea. So I take it before sleep and I am OK.

I tried so many supplements and nothing worked for me. I also work out, am pretty healthy etc. So I am quite optimistic about this. Just wanted to share to give some hope! A year ago I didnt know what to do and each cycle was just hell... So fingers crossed it stays like this!!! woohoo

Ich han lang im IT-Bereich gschaffet und hät Lust uf öppis Neus. Ich han paar Täg anere Schuel verbracht, eigentlich nur zum chli schnuppere, wil mich en Kollegin iglade hät. Es hät mich überrascht, wie gärn ich mit de Erschtklässler gschaffet han. Us verschidene Gründ überleg ich mir, e Lehrerausbildig z mache, und mich würs interessiere, was die Lehrperson, wo das da list, dezue säge würd – ob das die "richtige" Gründ sind. Zur Info: ich bi 36, wieblich, und bi sälber in Züri i d Schuel gange, aber erst mit 9 i d Schwiiz cho. Ich weiss also au, was Migrationshintergrund bedütet und wie sich das für es Chind chan afühle..

Mini Motivation wär, öppis Sinnvolls z mache, und ich mag Chind sehr gärn. Zuedem würd ich gärn Teilzit schaffe (80%), und villicht ab und zue au stellverträtend unterrichte 7/ vikarisiere. Lohnmässig wär's natürlich viel weniger als jetzt, aber ich glaub, dass mer devo läbe chan. Ich han au s Gfüehl, dass Lehrer sii ä relativ sicherä Job isch.

Was meinet ihr, sind das gueti Gründ oder bin ich z idealistisch?

Danke Edit 1: es übersetzt uf Englisch, da dä original CH-dütsch text:

Edit 2: no e chline zuesatz. Ich frag das vor allem au will mer so viel schlechts über de lehrerjob ghört und viel burnout usw...

I am looking for a last minute spot that isn't hot (below 25 degrees) and not crazy expensive.

I am just in Scotland and enjoying it but might check out somewhere else for two weeks from next week on. Any spots that aren't as obvious?

I am 38 and been thinking about this alot... i see so many people who have longterm friendships since childhood or uni, work, neighbourhood etc... and for me, most of my life I have felt like people come and go and that I just dont belong anywhere.

I am also an immigrant that moved quite a bit but I am more extroverted than introverted. I have learnt to be OK alone and often even happy but I do miss feeling seen. I am single and also not super close with my parents because we are kind of from different generations and cultures. They are also quite judgy and very conservative.

I wonder if by my late 30s I have never managed to build a community or tribe if it will ever happen... and if not, how I will live the rest of my life with it.....

I am kind of not sure what I wanna do with my life next, I am a bit older than most workawayers I would say, late 30s. Money isnt an issue but I would like to experience different lifestyle in different countries and potentially stay in one. Do you think work away would be suitable for that? Has anyone done something similar? I do speak 5 languages so it could help with maybe finding places in different countries....

Thanks for your inputs!

I have been going through alot this past two years. Left a career I didnt really love, followed by an existential crisis which challenged all my beliefs. I traveled around the world and came back not feeling at home in my old life at all.

I dont feel connected to alot of my old social life and I also realised that some of my friendships only worked if I made the other person really comfortable and didnt challenge any of their beliefs and also if I stayed loyal to a version of myself they had known, basically if I just stayed the same.

Im kind of worried to loose alot of friends I have had for so many years but than I also think I cant stay someone I am not just for the sake of keeping those friendships alive. I also noticed how alot of other women/friends are jealous if things are going well. I got a big inheritance 5 years ago from my uncle who died unexpectedly (set me up not having to work if i keep being smart with it) who I didnt tell anyone about but me not looking for work for so long I think triggers people.

I hear often that real friends arent jealous but Im not sure there are that many people who have that much self love that they dont get triggered by others, especially females..

I guess if we always stay the same we keep peace but I think life is also about change. Has anyone rebuilt really good friendships in their late 30s/early 40s?

Thanks!

Hi all,

Sorry about another heat post but not sure what to do.

I live in the city (Zurich, central). I have a monoblock AC (cant wait to buy a portasplit AC in winter) but I cant run it at night because it is just too loud. I tried to sleep next to it but I feel half asleep, half awake..

I wake up every night at 3am and cant go back to sleep till 5am or so because the heat gets so sticky, i think it is hotter inside than outside. I measured 30 degrees at night.. I live in an old building without much cross ventilation despite leaving the windows open.

I feel so tired and can't function, since it has been piling up over the past few weeks. I almost crashed my car the other day..

Any suggestions for a mountain town / not too far with OK prices for accommodation? I want to go work remotely for a bit to catch up on sleep and work. PS: could also be abroad but not crazy far.

Hey/hoi zäme

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I have been trying to find a gyno doc in the Zurich area that knows about this condition and it has been driving me insane they only prescribe pre-mens. They dont know about it.... Any recommondations? Thank you!!

I often wake up in the morning, wondering how did I get here?! how did I end up in a career that really doesnt suit me (despite it pays the bills) and I am not even that good at it.. How did I not find the man I was certain I will find in my 20s? How did so many of my friendships fade..? I feel like I had so many opportunities in life but I somehow didnt go for many of them because I decided to play it safe and I think subconciously, stay true to my family dynamic. I was sure I was not gonna stay in the country where I grew up and I even lived abroad a few years but ultimately chose safety or the familiar.

I think for me it was mainly being in survival during most of my childhood (moving, abuse etc) and also not knowing who I really am.. and than probably staying too passive and not trusting myself.

Does anyone else feel that way? Do you have any tips?

Hoi zäme.. ich überlege mir mit endi 30gi mich nomal umschuele lah (useme kaufmännische Umfeld). Ich bin go schnuppere ime Alterszentrum als Aktivierigsfachfrau und han en recht guete Idruck kha. Mini frag: isch da öper wo usem büro i dä Job gwechlset hät oder is Gsundheitswese? Ich frage mich, ob ich mir das ganze chli zu romantisch vorstelle.

S wichtige für mich im neue Job isch öpis sinnvolls mache, mit mensche ztue ha und nüme so viel oder fascht kei computer arbet. Usserdem au dass mer teilziet chan schaffe und au ime komplett neue Umfeld. Alti Mensche mag ich und ich gstalte au gern Program.

Ich möcht mich i dä nächschte wuche meh informiere und eventuell au lüt kennelerne oder mich ustusche mit mensche wo de bruef machet oder suscht eifach infos händ wills im gsundheitswese sind. Chan mir öper helfe oder öpis verzelle??

Merci viel mal!

It is hard to pinpoint what exactly causes me to feel this way but I will try to explain. I was just at dinner with two friends who I have known since our early 20s. They are in their mid40s now, I am late 30s, we have some good memories from our "wild 20s". Tonight, I was just listening about their husbands, their kids and their hobbies/activities, all their travels etc. Of course they are in a different life stage now.. But the whole time I had this feeling; I dont have a life because theirs is so busy.

I have been laid off a year ago and been trying to figure out this next chapter. Luckily, I still have some savings but going back into my corporate career is really hard atm and tbh I also really dont want to but dont know what else to do. I did some travel and hoped it would help but it was more of a distraction I feel.

I am often with other friends and feel the same way; a kind of emptiness that I just dont belong anywhere and "dont have a life really". I am single and most of my other friends are also in relationships and somehow have chosen a life path. I often feel like my life somehow just hasnt started. I lived abroad a few years and felt different but atm I dont know where I would go or what I would do there if I went to another country.

I wonder if this is partly childhood wound, not having arrived in a life that feels like me or just not being able to be seen by those friends? I think the last bit is almost the worst, when people dont even notice how you are feeling or dont get the depth of how challenging this feels. Sometimes I also wonder if I will always feel like I dont have a life.. Can anyone relate?