u/Grand_Commercial_944

I’m currently in my final year of undergrad and planning to apply for a master’s program, but lately I’ve been feeling completely discouraged by my own abilities.
I’ve loved reading ever since I was a kid, which is why I chose to major in literature. I’ve genuinely enjoyed my classes and assignments, and pretty early on I decided that after finishing my bachelor’s, I wanted to pursue a master’s degree and eventually become a researcher.
Recently, though, I’ve started wondering if I’m just not cut out for academia.
I think a big reason is that I’m struggling with my undergraduate thesis. It’s been much harder than I expected, and I often feel like I’m not good enough.
On top of that, I recently became friends with another student around my age who’s studying a very similar field. They’re incredibly talented, and meeting them made me think, “This is the kind of person who actually becomes a successful researcher.” I can’t help comparing myself to them, and it makes me feel inadequate.
Something else happened recently that added to all of this. I was awarded a fairly competitive scholarship. I’ve always been an anxious person with low self-esteem, so getting it gave me a little confidence. I started telling myself (and sometimes saying out loud) that maybe I’d get into graduate school and even receive funding. It wasn’t that I thought it would be easy—I was mostly trying to encourage myself because I’m naturally so pessimistic.
Then one of my professors told me that winning the scholarship and getting graduate funding are on completely different levels of competitiveness. It was basically a reality check. I know they weren’t trying to be mean, and I never actually believed funding would be easy to get. I was just trying to stay optimistic for once. But I think it came across as if I was being overconfident or getting ahead of myself, so I got humbled.
I’d say I’m probably above average at my own university, but I’m definitely not exceptionally gifted compared to students at other universities. And the fact that I’m struggling so much with my thesis only reinforces that feeling.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong to dream of becoming a researcher in the first place.
Maybe I just love reading books, but research isn’t actually something I’m suited for.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? If so, how did you deal with it?

I’m currently in my final year of undergrad and planning to apply for a master’s program, but lately I’ve been feeling completely discouraged by my own abilities.
I’ve loved reading ever since I was a kid, which is why I chose to major in literature. I’ve genuinely enjoyed my classes and assignments, and pretty early on I decided that after finishing my bachelor’s, I wanted to pursue a master’s degree and eventually become a researcher.
Recently, though, I’ve started wondering if I’m just not cut out for academia.
I think a big reason is that I’m struggling with my undergraduate thesis. It’s been much harder than I expected, and I often feel like I’m not good enough.
On top of that, I recently became friends with another student around my age who’s studying a very similar field. They’re incredibly talented, and meeting them made me think, “This is the kind of person who actually becomes a successful researcher.” I can’t help comparing myself to them, and it makes me feel inadequate.
Something else happened recently that added to all of this. I was awarded a fairly competitive scholarship. I’ve always been an anxious person with low self-esteem, so getting it gave me a little confidence. I started telling myself (and sometimes saying out loud) that maybe I’d get into graduate school and even receive funding. It wasn’t that I thought it would be easy—I was mostly trying to encourage myself because I’m naturally so pessimistic.
Then one of my professors told me that winning the scholarship and getting graduate funding are on completely different levels of competitiveness. It was basically a reality check. I know they weren’t trying to be mean, and I never actually believed funding would be easy to get. I was just trying to stay optimistic for once. But I think it came across as if I was being overconfident or getting ahead of myself, so I got humbled.
I’d say I’m probably above average at my own university, but I’m definitely not exceptionally gifted compared to students at other universities. And the fact that I’m struggling so much with my thesis only reinforces that feeling.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong to dream of becoming a researcher in the first place.
Maybe I just love reading books, but research isn’t actually something I’m suited for.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? If so, how did you deal with it?

Edit:
In my country, it’s very common for master’s students to receive government funding. However, getting that funding requires passing a highly competitive selection process. If you don’t receive it, pursuing a master’s degree is, for many people, simply not realistic.
I mean, if your family is financially well off, you can probably pay for graduate school yourself. But my family isn’t in that position, so for me, pursuing a master’s without funding is essentially impossible.

I acknowledge that the ideas of “freedom from” and “freedom to “ were one of the main themes in Second wave feminism, but were these exact phrases used in the movement?

I went through a painful breakup about six months ago. A few weeks later, I dated another guy, but he turned out to be the worst man I’ve ever met.
Since then, I haven’t really felt attracted to men. I can still recognize when a man is physically attractive, but I don’t feel any sexual attraction. It’s more like looking at a Michelangelo sculpture and appreciating its beauty. The idea of kissing a man or being intimate with one actually makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I even think being intimate with a woman would feel less uncomfortable.
Recently, I’ve found myself getting surprisingly flustered by women’s smiles. I don’t think I’m a lesbian, though, because I don’t actually want to have sex with women either.
I also don’t feel like I’m looking for a relationship anymore, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll want one in the future either. Right now, I’m happy living in my own world and thriving with a few close friends.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

I’m a 21-year-old woman, and my ex is a 26-year-old man. We were in a long-distance relationship for about a year and broke up around six months ago.

The main reasons for the breakup were his drug addiction and what I would consider emotional cheating with a female friend.

About four months after we broke up, he sent me a very long message apologizing for everything. He told me that he had quit drugs and smoking, cut off his relationship with that female friend, and promised that he would never do those things again.

At first, I clearly told him no when he tried to reconnect. However, we kept talking, and over time we became close again. He says he wants to get back together with me and is willing to work hard for it. He sends me gifts and flowers and calls me frequently.

The thing is, I’ve never met anyone I get along with as well as him. I feel like he understands me better than anyone else, and conversations between us flow naturally. I can genuinely see that he is doing his best to win me back.

But my romantic feelings haven’t returned.

When we were together, I was deeply in love with him and very attracted to him physically. Now, I don’t feel any romantic or sexual attraction toward him at all. It feels more like he’s my best friend.

Putting aside the past issues with drugs and the female friend, he is currently kind, respectful, and honestly one of the best men I’ve ever known in terms of character.

I’ve gone on dates with several other men since the breakup, but I didn’t connect with any of them.

So my question is: would you consider getting back together with someone even if the romantic feelings and physical attraction are gone? Has anyone experienced something similar?