u/Grouchy_Yogurt_352

I have a baby that is 7 months old. I’ve had pretty intense PPA and one thing that would cause me panic was thinking about people kissing our baby, especially during cold and flu season. Literally in my mind he was going to die if he was kissed. Anyway, my husband and I set the boundary right away that kissing in any way, shape, or form was not allowed. We made that very clear.

My MIL is a very forgetful person by nature. She has 4 other grandbabies that she is allowed to kiss at her will. So she would often forget my rule. Fine, I just kept reminding her. It happened at least 5 times in the first 2-3 months of life. My FIL just makes constant jabs and jokes about it that feel like a slap in the face. Things like “I’m gonna kiss him one million times don’t worry”. Just annoying but I’d respond with “better not” and go on about my day. He never kissed the baby, was just annoying about it.

They’ve caught me on bad days before. One day, my MIL kissed him and I told her “we don’t kiss the baby” and she responded with “I’m sorry I keep forgetting” and I said “that’s okay I’ll just keep gently reminding you” and she said “I’m not sure that’ll help”. Which is just annoying and to me screams “I’m not going to put any effort into upholding the one boundary you have”. She’s also said if I wasn’t around I would be none the wiser, so that makes me feel great about her holding him. To her credit, she has apologized for kissing him when she does it “accidentally”, but at the same time we only had to tell my 5 year old nephew once not to do it and now he only blows him kisses. I’m trying to give grace but it’s hard.

Another time, my FIL made a joke and I was just so fed up at this point that I responded kinda sharply with “don’t do that”. I don’t remember what the joke was but it doesn’t matter. I was annoyed and tired of being so calm about it.

One other time, we were out for my MIL’s birthday with the whole family and my FIL said he “found a way” to kiss the baby and he kissed his feet. I said no we don’t kiss the baby and he made a fuss about how it was just the feet. And I told him the feet eventually end up in the mouth, are the feet on the baby? We don’t kiss the baby. And his mom said “well I can kiss his head with his hoodie up” and my husband said very dry and flatly “why would you even want to do that” and it shut the conversation down. Honestly they have been pretty quiet about it since then.

All of that context is important because my in laws were at dinner with my husband and said they were hurt because I’ve snapped at them and treated them like children and their feelings are hurt. My husband is a rock star and told them that they hurt my feelings and this is the one and only rule I have and they don’t respect it. All of these situations were also 3 months ago and they just recently brought it up so I guess they’re still bitter about it.

I want to make it clear that my husband has also spoken up and said things to his parents, it hasn’t all fallen on me I’m just giving the examples of ones I was involved in.

I’m just confused on how I’ve been made out to be the bad guy here? I’m over the whole no kissing rule with immediate family. My anxiety has cooled off some and I no longer get worried he’ll die.

Here’s where I might be overreacting. My husband and I have been talking about relocating to be near my family. I’m just really missing them and wanting them to be a bigger part of my/my son’s life right now. They’re all so supportive and close knit and I just really miss them. They have respected my boundary and are always super respectful in their interactions with him. We’d be moving half way across the country. I’d be lying if I said this whole situation hasn’t put a real strain on my view of my relationship with my in laws and has been a big driving force for me to want to move. I’ve always been fine here because I’ve had such a good and supportive relationship with his family and now it just doesn’t really feel that way too much anymore. It’s not the only reason I want to move at all, but it’s a factor for sure. Am I overreacting?

ETA: I misspoke. This isn’t a big driving force for me to want to move. I think the shift in relationship has just made it easier for me to keep the option on the table. Whereas before, I felt loved and supported so I didn’t really feel a need to move.

I have a baby that is 7 months old. I’ve had pretty intense PPA and one thing that would cause me panic was thinking about people kissing our baby, especially during cold and flu season. Literally in my mind he was going to die if he was kissed. Anyway, my husband and I set the boundary right away that kissing in any way, shape, or form was not allowed. We made that very clear.

My MIL is a very forgetful person by nature. She has 4 other grandbabies that she is allowed to kiss at her will. So she would often forget my rule. Fine, I just kept reminding her. It happened at least 5 times in the first 2-3 months of life. My FIL just makes constant jabs and jokes about it that feel like a slap in the face. Things like “I’m gonna kiss him one million times don’t worry”. Just annoying but I’d respond with “better not” and go on about my day. He never kissed the baby, was just annoying about it.

They’ve caught me on bad days before. One day, my MIL kissed him and I told her “we don’t kiss the baby” and she responded with “I’m sorry I keep forgetting” and I said “that’s okay I’ll just keep gently reminding you” and she said “I’m not sure that’ll help”. Which is just annoying and to me screams “I’m not going to put any effort into upholding the one boundary you have”. She’s also said if I wasn’t around I would be none the wiser, so that makes me feel great about her holding him. To her credit, she has apologized for kissing him when she does it “accidentally”, but at the same time we only had to tell my 5 year old nephew once not to do it and now he only blows him kisses. I’m trying to give grace but it’s hard.

Another time, my FIL made a joke and I was just so fed up at this point that I responded kinda sharply with “don’t do that”. I don’t remember what the joke was but it doesn’t matter. I was annoyed and tired of being so calm about it.

One other time, we were out for my MIL’s birthday with the whole family and my FIL said he “found a way” to kiss the baby and he kissed his feet. I said no we don’t kiss the baby and he made a fuss about how it was just the feet. And I told him the feet eventually end up in the mouth, are the feet on the baby? We don’t kiss the baby. And his mom said “well I can kiss his head with his hoodie up” and my husband said very dry and flatly “why would you even want to do that” and it shut the conversation down. Honestly they have been pretty quiet about it since then.

All of that context is important because my in laws were at dinner with my husband and said they were hurt because I’ve snapped at them and treated them like children and their feelings are hurt. My husband is a rock star and told them that they hurt my feelings and this is the one and only rule I have and they don’t respect it. All of these situations were also 3 months ago and they just recently brought it up so I guess they’re still bitter about it.

I want to make it clear that my husband has also spoken up and said things to his parents, it hasn’t all fallen on me I’m just giving the examples of ones I was involved in.

I’m just confused on how I’ve been made out to be the bad guy here? I’m over the whole no kissing rule with immediate family. My anxiety has cooled off some and I no longer get worried he’ll die.

Here’s where I might be overreacting. My husband and I have been talking about relocating to be near my family. I’m just really missing them and wanting them to be a bigger part of my/my son’s life right now. They’re all so supportive and close knit and I just really miss them. They have respected my boundary and are always super respectful in their interactions with him. We’d be moving half way across the country. I’d be lying if I said this whole situation hasn’t put a real strain on my view of my relationship with my in laws and has been a big driving force for me to want to move. I’ve always been fine here because I’ve had such a good and supportive relationship with his family and now it just doesn’t really feel that way too much anymore. It’s not the only reason I want to move at all, but it’s a factor for sure. Am I overreacting?

I read the original trilogy when it came out when I was in middle school. I watched the movies as they came out and I’ve seen the original 4 movies so many times and the ballad of songbirds and snakes twice. I didn’t ever read the book and I haven’t read sunrise on the reaping. Should I re-read the trilogy and then the two additional books? I can’t really remember the books all too well. Is there a lot missing from the movies? How are the two newer books?

I read the original trilogy when it came out when I was in middle school. I watched the movies as they came out and I’ve seen the original 4 movies so many times and the ballad of songbirds and snakes twice. I didn’t ever read the book and I haven’t read sunrise on the reaping. Should I re-read the trilogy and then the two additional books? I can’t really remember the books all too well. Is there a lot missing from the movies? How are the two newer books?

My baby has been in daycare since 5 months old and the ratios scare me. I don’t feel the ratios in these classrooms are right for infant development. How can 2 teachers to 10 babies (6weeks-10months) properly care for the babies when they all have such big needs. I’ve been in the room before and a baby has been on the floor or ins a crib crying for 10+ minutes because the teachers have their hands full with feeding/changing/tending to other babies. That can’t be good for the babies can it? This is no knock on the teachers by the way. They’re doing the best they can in such a hard and demanding job. I just feel unsettled by the ratio. I’ve walked in on multiple occasions to my baby laying on his belly screaming because there were no teachers available to tend to him and it’s really upsetting.

I have a 7 month old baby who I’ve always considered a great sleeper. He started off sleeping 3 hour stretches in a bedside bassinet and gradually increased that independently until he was sleeping from 7pm-3/4 am and taking a quick feed and going back to sleep until 6:30 ish. He has never put himself to sleep. He is always either rocked, patted, or fed to sleep and I’m okay with that. Well, we got rocked with an ear infection that was treated and cleared up, then 3 days later a double ear infection, and then 2 days later HFMD. When he started with the double ear infection he refused to sleep lying down. I think the HFMD played a role in that as well from my research. He’s over those two illnesses now but we’re still dealing with frequent night wakings and difficulty transferring/settling. It has calmed down a little bit over the last couple nights. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has any experience with this? Will it get better on its own? Any advice? I’m not interested in sleep training as I feel like it doesn’t align with my intuition. He sleeps in a pack n play next to our bed. Right now my husband handles wake ups from 7-1 and I handle them from 1-7.

My husband and I currently live in Texas where he grew up. His family is here, he has friends here, and he has a job he likes working with his brother at a small insurance company. We also own our home outright. His entire family is here (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews).

The problem is that I’m from Delaware, and since having our first baby (7 months old), I feel an overwhelming pull to move back home. My entire family is there (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins) and I feel heartbroken that I’m missing everyday life with them. We visit as often as we can and FaceTime daily, but I’m craving the spontaneous stuff. I want family dinners, to randomly stop by my parents house, to be able to hang out with my sister on a random Tuesday, my baby to grow up truly immersed in my family. He’s the first grandbaby/nephew on my side of the family.

I’m struggling with my family missing the experiences with the first grandchild/nephew. My husband’s parents live with three of the grandchildren (our nieces and nephew) and I feel like they’re always so busy we don’t really spend much time with them. So I don’t feel as much guilt about them missing out on the experience of being a grandparent.

I’ve also been struggling emotionally with daycare and feel so much stress around it. If we moved my mom would watch my son 4 days a week, which sounds life changing to me.

At the same time, there are real tradeoffs that I feel like are present -
- My husband would likely have to leave a job situation that really fits him well.
- He says he’d be okay moving and that he can be happy anywhere, but I worry he may be underestimating how hard it could be emotionally.
- Delaware housing is more expensive.
- I worry about uprooting our whole life and then regretting it.

What makes this hard is that I don’t hate Texas. Before having my baby, I felt pretty happy here. But since becoming a mom, I feel empty, disconnected, and deeply homesick in a way I never have before.

I guess I’m looking for real life experiences from people who moved closer to family after kids, stayed far away and made peace with it, left a good job situation for family support, or realized postpartum/loneliness was influencing the intensity of the desire to move.

Did moving actually help? Did anyone regret it? Did anyone stay and eventually feel okay again?

My husband and I currently live in Texas where he grew up. His family is here, he has friends here, and he has a job he likes working with his brother at a small insurance company. We also own our home outright. His entire family is here (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews).

The problem is that I’m from Delaware, and since having our first baby (7 months old), I feel an overwhelming pull to move back home. My entire family is there (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins) and I feel heartbroken that I’m missing everyday life with them. We visit as often as we can and FaceTime daily, but I’m craving the spontaneous stuff. I want family dinners, to randomly stop by my parents house, to be able to hang out with my sister on a random Tuesday, my baby to grow up truly immersed in my family. He’s the first grandbaby/nephew on my side of the family.

I’m struggling with my family missing the experiences with the first grandchild/nephew. My husband’s parents live with three of the grandchildren (our nieces and nephew) and I feel like they’re always so busy we don’t really spend much time with them. So I don’t feel as much guilt about them missing out on the experience of being a grandparent.

I’ve also been struggling emotionally with daycare and feel so much stress around it. If we moved my mom would watch my son 4 days a week, which sounds life changing to me.

At the same time, there are real tradeoffs that I feel like are present -
- My husband would likely have to leave a job situation that really fits him well.
- He says he’d be okay moving and that he can be happy anywhere, but I worry he may be underestimating how hard it could be emotionally.
- Delaware housing is more expensive.
- I worry about uprooting our whole life and then regretting it.

What makes this hard is that I don’t hate Texas. Before having my baby, I felt pretty happy here. But since becoming a mom, I feel empty, disconnected, and deeply homesick in a way I never have before.

I guess I’m looking for real life experiences from people who moved closer to family after kids, stayed far away and made peace with it, left a good job situation for family support, or realized postpartum/loneliness was influencing the intensity of the desire to move.

Did moving actually help? Did anyone regret it? Did anyone stay and eventually feel okay again?

My husband and I currently live in Texas where he grew up. His family is here, he has friends here, and he has a job he likes working with his brother at a small insurance company. We also own our home outright. His entire family is here (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews).

The problem is that I’m from Delaware, and since having our first baby (7 months old), I feel an overwhelming pull to move back home. My entire family is there (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins) and I feel heartbroken that I’m missing everyday life with them. We visit as often as we can and FaceTime daily, but I’m craving the spontaneous stuff. I want family dinners, to randomly stop by my parents house, to be able to hang out with my sister on a random Tuesday, my baby to grow up truly immersed in my family. He’s the first grandbaby/nephew on my side of the family.

I’m struggling with my family missing the experiences with the first grandchild/nephew. My husband’s parents live with three of the grandchildren (our nieces and nephew) and I feel like they’re always so busy we don’t really spend much time with them. So I don’t feel as much guilt about them missing out on the experience of being a grandparent.

I’ve also been struggling emotionally with daycare and feel so much stress around it. If we moved my mom would watch my son 4 days a week, which sounds life changing to me.

At the same time, there are real tradeoffs that I feel like are present -
- My husband would likely have to leave a job situation that really fits him well.
- He says he’d be okay moving and that he can be happy anywhere, but I worry he may be underestimating how hard it could be emotionally.
- Delaware housing is more expensive.
- I worry about uprooting our whole life and then regretting it.

What makes this hard is that I don’t hate Texas. Before having my baby, I felt pretty happy here. But since becoming a mom, I feel empty, disconnected, and deeply homesick in a way I never have before.

I guess I’m looking for real life experiences from people who moved closer to family after kids, stayed far away and made peace with it, left a good job situation for family support, or realized postpartum/loneliness was influencing the intensity of the desire to move.

Did moving actually help? Did anyone regret it? Did anyone stay and eventually feel okay again?

My husband and I currently live in Texas where he grew up. His family is here, he has friends here, and he has a job he likes working with his brother at a small insurance company. We also own our home outright. His entire family is here (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews).

The problem is that I’m from Delaware, and since having our first baby (7 months old), I feel an overwhelming pull to move back home. My entire family is there (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins) and I feel heartbroken that I’m missing everyday life with them. We visit as often as we can and FaceTime daily, but I’m craving the spontaneous stuff. I want family dinners, to randomly stop by my parents house, to be able to hang out with my sister on a random Tuesday, my baby to grow up truly immersed in my family. He’s the first grandbaby/nephew on my side of the family.

I’m struggling with my family missing the experiences with the first grandchild/nephew. My husband’s parents live with three of the grandchildren (our nieces and nephew) and I feel like they’re always so busy we don’t really spend much time with them. So I don’t feel as much guilt about them missing out on the experience of being a grandparent.

I’ve also been struggling emotionally with daycare and feel so much stress around it. If we moved my mom would watch my son 4 days a week, which sounds life changing to me.

At the same time, there are real tradeoffs that I feel like are present -
- My husband would likely have to leave a job situation that really fits him well.
- He says he’d be okay moving and that he can be happy anywhere, but I worry he may be underestimating how hard it could be emotionally.
- Delaware housing is more expensive.
- I worry about uprooting our whole life and then regretting it.

What makes this hard is that I don’t hate Texas. Before having my baby, I felt pretty happy here. But since becoming a mom, I feel empty, disconnected, and deeply homesick in a way I never have before.

I guess I’m looking for real life experiences from people who moved closer to family after kids, stayed far away and made peace with it, left a good job situation for family support, or realized postpartum/loneliness was influencing the intensity of the desire to move.

Did moving actually help? Did anyone regret it? Did anyone stay and eventually feel okay again?

My husband and I currently live in Texas where he grew up. His family is here, he has friends here, and he has a job he likes working with his brother at a small insurance company. We also own our home outright. His entire family is here (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews).

The problem is that I’m from Delaware, and since having our first baby (7 months old), I feel an overwhelming pull to move back home. My entire family is there (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins) and I feel heartbroken that I’m missing everyday life with them. We visit as often as we can and FaceTime daily, but I’m craving the spontaneous stuff. I want family dinners, to randomly stop by my parents house, to be able to hang out with my sister on a random Tuesday, my baby to grow up truly immersed in my family. He’s the first grandbaby/nephew on my side of the family.

I’m struggling with my family missing the experiences with the first grandchild/nephew. My husband’s parents live with three of the grandchildren (our nieces and nephew) and I feel like they’re always so busy we don’t really spend much time with them. So I don’t feel as much guilt about them missing out on the experience of being a grandparent.

I’ve also been struggling emotionally with daycare and feel so much stress around it. If we moved my mom would watch my son 4 days a week, which sounds life changing to me.

At the same time, there are real tradeoffs that I feel like are present -
- My husband would likely have to leave a job situation that really fits him well.
- He says he’d be okay moving and that he can be happy anywhere, but I worry he may be underestimating how hard it could be emotionally.
- Delaware housing is more expensive.
- I worry about uprooting our whole life and then regretting it.

What makes this hard is that I don’t hate Texas. Before having my baby, I felt pretty happy here. But since becoming a mom, I feel empty, disconnected, and deeply homesick in a way I never have before.

I guess I’m looking for real life experiences from people who moved closer to family after kids, stayed far away and made peace with it, left a good job situation for family support, or realized postpartum/loneliness was influencing the intensity of the desire to move.

Did moving actually help? Did anyone regret it? Did anyone stay and eventually feel okay again?