u/Gur_Party

People say he was a comedian in real life, does his music have that same humor?

I mean the beats today are so different. The flows and melodies are also different. He would probably have to switch it up. Idk if the slow flows would work today. The 90s was a long time ago. What y’all think?

I just got diagnosed 5 months ago and I’m 23M. But since a kid I’ve always been a smart ass. That was me! As a kid I said whatever I wanted to whoever. But my real questions always got read by adults as sarcasm. And I would always get in trouble for it. So at a point i stopped talking all together. In third grade. Fast forward to middle school, early high school, my family always said “why does he never speak?” Which surprised me because they were the ones who said they hate when I do speak. At 23 I’m still very quiet and introverted and it has lead me into a lot of depression. But today I don’t know what it was by I finally feel myself unmasking. Like the fake voice is going away and the real me is coming back. It’s very rude though but it’s real. It’s the same one I started with, just older now. I’m worried I won’t make it far in life being rude but I’m a smart ass at heart and hiding it makes me a depressed person who I don’t wanna be. So either way kinda sucks. I think I’ll stick with being a smart ass. And even though he’s rude to people he doesn’t have to hide the way he feels to the public. This was something I’d thought I share today.

I’m moving in this new apartment on Saturday. As I’m going over the lease, I notice Section 11 says this:

“Tenant will notify Landlord promptly in writing upon becoming aware of any condition within the Property or, if applicable, in the Building, that requires repair or maintenance by Landlord, including but not limited to, notifying Landlord within 48 hours of detecting any bed bugs in the unit or elsewhere in the Building. Landlord will undertake any required repairs reasonably promptly, based on the condition, following receipt of notice.”

Why does it say Bed Bugs exactly? That’s scaring me. I’m thinking the unit already has them or has had them before. Because why so specific? Am I wrong for thinking this? I also got over the fact that one of the bedrooms had mold on the walls when I first visited, two days later it looked like it was just painted over. Y’all tell me what y’all think.

Hello, I’m 23M and my huge fear of judgement makes me severely depressed. My life runs on what I think others think of me. Even though I know everyone is focused on themselves and I’m not even in their thoughts, I know this. But it still never goes away. Yesterday, at work, I had something in my shoe. I work at a very big warehouse. I walked all the way from my working area to the end of the warehouse, where the bathroom is, to get it out of my shoe. Because I was too afraid of someone seeing my sock, or seeing me trying to fix my shoe, or get something out. And if someone has been in the bathroom, I would’ve pretended to use it until they left then went in my shoe. That long walk affected my work badly. And I do this shit all the time. It’s like I’m hurting myself more than others are. I’m my own biggest enemy.

I want to give you more examples. I’ve known my mom since about 5 or 6 and younger sibling all my life. But I’m terrified whenever I order Uber Eats because sometimes I can’t afford any for them as well. So I have to wait until the coast is clear. Pray everyone’s door is locked. And sneak and hurry and grab the food. If I take a step and the floor creaks I’m scared, I twist the door knob to leave as quietly as possible, tiny things like this alert me. Living life this way is very draining. I don’t raise my voice at all because I don’t want anyone to hear me. Even in my room at home I hold in my laughs because I don’t want my mom or sibling to hear me. Even though I’ve known them a long time.

I wasn’t always like this though. From birth to 3rd grade, I was very energetic and probably the most extroverted kid ever. I stayed with my great grandmother and two cousins. Life was really amazing. And then my mom who I didn’t know at all got custody of me and moved me to a new neighborhood in a small apartment and I had to go to a new school. It was just a big shift because I didn’t even trust the person I was living with. Nothing against her, but like I said, I didn’t know this woman from a can of paint. Even though she’s my biological mother. That was the third grade. And I went from extrovert to introvert quick. I didn’t speak at all. I didn’t play with kids outside and play tag or Simon says. I stay inside and drew and read books and whatever else I could do.

I’m 23 now, officially moving out of my mother’s tomorrow. Planning to live alone. Haven’t told her yet. Scared of the reaction. But I can only be my true self when I know that no eyes are on me. That’s when my voice is the loudest it’ll ever be. That’s when I actually come out of my room and walk around the place I live. That’s when I’m most comfortable. Doesn’t matter how long I’ve known the person.

I have a feeling everyone is just gonna recommend therapy. I also want to note I went to a program for 3 months last year. They had residential, partial hospitalization (mine) and intensive outpatient. I was there 5 days a week, 7 hours a day, for 3 months. I had to talk. It was the only way I’d be able to eventually leave the program. And I haven’t been that happy since probably before my mom got me in the 3rd grade. It was like a huge chunk of responsibility was off my shoulders. I was on paid leave for work. I got to walk around downtown freely. And everyone in the program was so nice to me. That was like a year ago, so it’s over now, and I’m depressed again. Life sucks again.

Advice would be greatly appreciated. I try to make the posts short, but they always come out long, lol.

I meant 7-10 not 7-11. I’m moving in this new place Friday. Unexpected security deposit of $1000. She originally told me there was no security deposit. I’ll definitely have it by Friday which is 24 hours away. But I’m suppose to move in Friday and she wants the lease signed today (Thursday). My fault this is my first time using this, did I do everything correctly?

I’m gonna try to explain this the best way I can. I was introduced to porn in the third grade. And I hated it. I thought I was different because every other boy liked it. It was just so disgusting to me. I’m also very uncomfortable with touching other humans. Like a hug is uncomfortable for me sometimes. And sometimes I love hugs. I’ve also never had a girlfriend because of this (social anxiety).

I didn’t get into porn until the age of 21. My first time ejaculating was a month before I turned 22. And it was to porn, obviously. So from 22 to today (23) I’ve been addicted. Using it a lot, sometimes daily, sometimes less. Yesterday, I wasn’t feeling it anymore. Like it didn’t excite me. So I didn’t ejaculate. And today, I scrolled for like 30 minutes, trying to get into it. I didn’t like it. Here’s a great example of today. A pornstar would say something sexual that I’ll usually find attractive and my brain or inner voice would say “ewww no I don’t wanna have sex. No I’m just not into it.” Like I was responding to her or something. Everything turned me off. I don’t know why this is. It’s not like I was trying to stop. I just really didn’t like it yesterday and today. I don’t know why.

Social anxiety has ruled my life. And this past week I’ve been more social than ever in real life. So maybe that’s why. But I don’t know. It felt like I was returning to my old self, the me who finds porn disgusting. A friend told me I might be demisexual. Thoughts, opinions, and advice?

I seen her verse had the most replay on YouTube. Also is it just me or when Big spits most people don’t comprehend what he is speaking about? Due to the way he uses his voice. Like Kim uses her speaking voice like most rappers. Big used his voice like an instrument so it’s like people not really hearing the subject matter he’s rapping bout. This might just be me. And I could be tripping. But lmk below.

I’m a 23M and still live with my mom and sibling. I stay in my room all day everyday and never come out. I don’t like being seen. Even though I’ve known these people my entire life. I’m uncomfortable when I hug my mom. Talking about love around her makes me uneasy and I want to run away. When she says “I love you” it’s hard to say it back, even though she’s the best mom ever. Showing love to anyone is uncomfortable for me. When I noticed some men kiss their mothers on the cheek, I wanted to throw up.

I am very uncomfortable around people no matter who you are or how long I’ve known you. I also have ED (erectile dysfunction). I can maintain an erection when I’m alone easily but never around a woman. They are very beautiful and attractive to me but I can never stay up. So I gave up on sex.

When my mom and sibling are home, I don’t come out my room at all. But when I know they are gone, I walk around the house in my underwear. I have to sneak and do everything. Makes life so much more stressful. This is why I want my own place so bad and why I stay in the same job that makes me miserable because I’m too scared to move up.

Not just scared around humans, I’ve had a cat for over 2 years and I’m still very uncomfortable around him. He actually scares me a lot. When I’m walking at work and there are people around me, I’m calculating every step and all I think is, please don’t fall and embarrass yourself. During break time, I sit in the bathroom stall instead of in the main break room with everyone else.

I hate going to the bathroom in my own house because that involves me opening my door, which is gonna make a sound that my mother or sibling could hear. I twist the doorknob as slow as I possibly can and slip through as quiet as possible. Then when I know they’ve heard me, I’ll make sounds to make it sound like I’m a normal person.

This way of life has made me very depressed and suicidal. From birth to 3rd grade I was the most extroverted kid ever and said what I wanted. Then my mom got custody of me in third grade. I lived with my grandma and 2 cousins from birth to third grade. We moved away from my neighborhood, friends, and neighbors I loved. I think that’s what started it. I didn’t know my mom, this new school, or this new life. I was alone now. That was third grade, I’m 23 now and the same way. Very quiet and scared of the world. And I have suicidal ideation everyday.

I’m 23 and work at an Amazon Fulfillment Center. I make $26/hour. I’ve been trying to move out and get my own place, but I’m struggling to find anything I can comfortably afford. Most apartments I’m finding are $1,200+ before utilities, and even that feels tight. I make about 3k a month after tax.

What’s confusing me is that one of my coworkers (my friend for years now) makes $25/hour, so technically less than me, and he recently got a 3-bedroom house close to our job. He lives alone, pays all the rent himself, and pays all the utilities himself. I remember he told me he got it in December. Because we’ve both worked here a few years. So it’s not like he’s been living there forever on some old lease.

He’s only about a year or two older than me. He told me Amazon is his only source of income, and Amazon is my only source of income too. We both work 5-6 days a week. Same shifts. And my hourly rate is $1 more than his. He told me he’s taking his girl to steak house. His rent is $1500, he has 3 bedrooms, it’s a house and not an apartment, he has a car he has to pay off, a dog, a cat…even though he’s my friend, I’m envious. Because how can you afford all this and I make more than you and can’t afford a studio apartment for $1200?

I’ve actually seen that he has around $2,000 in his bank account, so not that much. It just makes me feel very behind in life because I can’t get a one bedroom apartment and he has a 3 bedroom house. I know they say never compare yourself to another but this is crazy to me. I’m saving to get my first apartment in a few weeks and it makes me not even want an apartment anymore.