u/Hell0There2005

Almost 3 years in with dx girlfriend and I wake up stressed realizing all the problems I have with the relationship:

Walking on eggshells. Feeling like a hostage to her monologues. no curiosity about my inner world. Avoidance about issues she only reveals after exploding. Mean comments. Lacking skills in emotional validation.

And she wants marriage and kids (she of course didnt have a serious sit down but rather made off hand comments because sit downs trigger her anxiety)

I just asked myself "is this the same person I fell in love with?" Like i dont remember being this stressed early on so did she get more comfortable hence these behaviors became less hidden?

My (DX - non-medicated) girlfriend of 3 years has ADHD and hyper focuses on her interests. She rarely asks me what I think or like and if she does its met with "That's nice. That's good you like that" no curiosity at all.

I told her i felt alone and unseen and like a pet she takes around to places rather than a human partner.

Well now for the last two weeks she is asking me a bunch of questions about what I like, why i like it, what makes me think this why? It feels amazing. I feel like i am seen!

But...i have read of this before where they change briefly before going back to old habits. How true is this?

She was on her period last week and moody. All of a sudden this week....its been none stop and I cant keep up. How to tell her I am not in the mood without offending?

She has problems focusing on herself and regulating her emotions. Some of this makes me closed off emotionally since I dont feel like she is seeing me. Sex life sucks since I don't feel the emotional intimacy like I did before BECAUSE of issues I said here.

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Marriage is what she wants at this point and I have no idea how to say it properly; I want the issues above resolved before marriage because I know i am not happy how things are

Together 1 year and I need to know as she has mentioned "wouldn't it be great to get married in Paris?" And i love her but marriage didnt even pop in my head (I just never thought about marriage, like I knew we would but when it arrived I was left mumbling "yeah it's nice) so when is the rifht time for marriage?

Coincidentally I am having issues with my romantic partner because I feel she doesn't validate my emotions. "I feel bad because of X" and her response is usually "I'm sorry..." no follow up or anything usually.

So here he talks about making space instead of doing what he said was incorrect which was "oh im sorry, that must be so hard" which is whay I want. So im confused

I think i am doing something wrong because my family asked if I am ok. A relative passed away and I was aware of intense sadness and in my mind i sat with this feeling but I didnt cry. My family said I look like a robot and I said "actually I am feeling all the feels, I am just mindful of them" more or less what I said.

Isn't the point of meditation is to just be aware of these intense feelings and thougjts without actually acting them out?

I am curious how meditation would actually make you kinder if you are simply mkre aware of your feelings? Like if you are aware you are angry at someone for believing they are dumb yku are still being the same, no?

I know of a very successful person who is absolutely obsessed with their craft. Barely enough sleep, little time for family and friends, and is consumed with bettering themselves in their work.

Its admirable. I even asked him what helped and he said "Mindfulness. It let's me know what's important . And thats my craft"

I am nit judging him on.whether or not his life is right or wrong. I am talking about Mindfulness where you try to give rise to a clear and calm state of being and he is always at 110% running.

Something itches on what he said,.between Mindfulness and sheer obsession in one thing