u/Hope1995x

Go out and do things. Meet new people.

Not working....

I tried to go to third places once a week for a month. I drove about an hour each week to Gainesville. To explore the nightlife.

But for some reason, I dont feel comfortable to go inside. I stop at the door and never go inside. Despite numerous whole-hearted attempts. With decent effort because I drove for about an hour.

Already got an appointment with the psychiatrist to see if I can get diagnosed with anxiety disorder and receive treatment.

But I dont know if that's the answer.

Perhaps seek a diagnoses for ASD, on the high functioning side.

I'm finding this to be a chore, and personally I'm not enjoying it.

31M, and I'm seeing teenagers literally getting more game than me. And I'm drastically more established. I know I shouldn't compare myself to kids, but it really questions what went wrong with developing.

Go to therapy. Didn't work.

Drive over an hour to Gainesville, but get to scared to walk in the bar or arcade.

Spend money, and when I do walk in. I feel out of place.

Im spending money on gas and food but never go beyond that part to approach them.

Clearly, I wouldn't be driving an hour once a week to meet people but for some reason, I feel anxious or nervous to approach.

If therapies dont work then what does?

Edit:

I've already made plans to get the deed done in Nevada via legal means. But, I also plan to visit a psychiatrist to prescribe me medicine for anxiety.

31M, I had some romantic experiences via online dating with video calls. But they never work out.

I am a 31M virgin and I dont want to be. Even though according to my religious beliefs premarital sex is always a sin.

I see the world collapsing in front of me, with another possible pandemic on the way. We had Ukraine, Iran and India/Pakistan at war within the past 3 or 4 years.

It is getting hotter than it ever was in the Cold War if you look at it from that point of view.

I honestly believe the clock is ticking. I go to God and I pray, and the only answer I get is the answer I don't want.

Unfortunately, prostitution is criminalized where I live. So its another catch22. And to just to fly out to Nevada and eat the forbidden fruit which I have every free-will right to do so as a Libertarian view on spirtuality.

I am putting myself out there and I want results now, which seems reasonable considering my lateness.

I would be content with a sexless relationship until marriage as the emotional intimacy has always distracted me from lust, at least when those scammers put on an elaborate romance scam.

I am truthfully involuntarily celibate because of mostly the legal obstacles. Even though that's a sin.

Social-fluidity or "long-term partner material" like character over being "normal", what's more important?

How would her friends vet him to make sure he's a good candidate, what do they look for? Are they aware of people on the spectrum? Will they recognize or judge too soon?

Waiting is not how success works in the real world.

I must approach 100s of women a month.

I just need to force myself to do it.

I dont want to wait a year and no more than 90 days, can I realistically do it in 90 days or less?

How do I approach 100s of women?

What is the best way to approach 100s in a month?

Edit: Plus, I dont have much of an active social life.

So I drove an hour to Gainesville, and I couldn't talk to anyone beyond much small talk.

Went to a sports bar and found it to be to loud. And I felt shy.

This is the part where I get stuck dozens of times if not 100s. Go out to places but then get stuck at the cold approach phase.

It is easier to start conversations in much quieter places but there is only church which is full of old people. Perhaps there are churches full of younger people that would be a help.

Edit: I have to feel like I belong there. So my idea is to sign up for an art class or something. It eases the anxiety when you feel like you belong. The exposure therapy isnt working, after so many times.

The traditional path of initmacy is hard. Definitely harder for someone on the spectrum. We can look very attractive physically and have attractive personalities.

But the problem is that you need to build social circles and maintain those circles by being socially active outside of work and/or schooling.

You have to navigate the subtle flirting. You have to understand the cues and be confident. You have to find friends that will vouch for you to find that girlfriend.

But, when you come home socially burnt out or not interested those doors are closed. Its like we have to force ourselves to do something we dont want to do.

Look, Im gonna be honest. I can only focus my social interaction on a limited amount of people. I would prefer to find someone who else is an introvert.

Its not working fast enough and that's the problem.

I also just want to get laid once in my life and not just for physical pleasure.

I had thoughts of going to a psychiatric facility but realized that won't help me get laid either. That would make it worse. Like, Im involuntarily in this position and I need help.

I know fornication is against my religious beliefs but holding out this long has pushed me to want to ignore it.

I don't know what to do as I see the clock ticking.

I just turned 31 today and I'm not sure what to do.

Perhaps a sex therapist. IDK....