u/Horror-Turnover-1089

Okay, so I was a bit depressed for a while; until I randomly realised my value. And now quite the opposite. I'm more energetic in a way. I feel different.

I used to keep track of everyone who hurt me and I wouldn't give them my positive energy anymore. Maybe even trying to hurt them because I felt pain. But now... I simply don't care, in a way. Like. I lost my will for revenge. I think. And now I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I will lose the distance I created. I'm direct deep down, and dislike social circumventions. I might say things I shouldn't say. Sometimes you feel something and want to say it directly with emotion, even if it's a bit unfiltered.

I find it hard to explain this what I mean. It's like a switch triggered and I'm a bit uncomfortable with it. But I also can't just switch it off. This is me now, now I've found me.

Hello all, so I'm gay, 34, and autistic. Haven't had a boyfriend or just good friends/f.w.b.'s for years now. I have the trouble of being socially panicky at first few meetings. This due to overstimulation combined with a strong nervous system response. But at the same time, I'm just in a need for touch, and just sex! Love! And maybe people judge me for it, they can. I know who I am.

It makes it really hard to find someone. When I'm on a dating app, I'm so afraid of people meeting me, or the other way around, I lose interest. Just... I'm intelligent in a way; I know psychology, why life itself is the way it is, I have metacognition. And a lot of people don't go that deep. My perfectionism runs deep, sometimes unconsciously and it catches me off guard. But I consistently reflect afterwards.

I like gaming, genshin impact, pokemon. But I also like working out. Just. I don't know. Does anyone have advice for me? My nervous system is really strong. And I try to regulate. I try to breathe through or feel my feet on the ground and I know the feeling comes in waves. Just. More often than not, I'm overwhelmed before I can even make myself conscious of it. Anyway. Got some advice?

I’ve been through things—traumatic things. And now I’m engaged in a never-ending effort to prevent others from experiencing the same. But then I think about World War II. I think, "Those people wanted to prevent their children from going through something terrible, too." So, they raised them to be as happy as possible. They had little bad moments. And now those people have children of their own—children they barely raise at all. And these are the very people who could start wars. And then it happens again and you get a moment of peace again. A cycle. It seems like a cycle that will repeat forever. So, does your intervention serve a purpose? I don't know. I hope it does. Or am I just straining myself for nothing.

I know this is an overgeneralisation. There are exceptions. But you get my point right? Like I put so much effort in myself.

I'd like to think I'm a good person. But it's human nature to have a good and bad side. I know I naturally push my bad side away and show off my good side. I'm autistic, so I have trouble 'feeling' things. I use logic, critical thinking and intuition preferably into perfection. Sometimes I see things that I can't explain perfectly, or back them up with good logic. But I still feel like I'm correct. And it's better to say it than nothing at all right? Or I won't know more.

I generally try to be a good person. Just. I know I don't have to be. But I still feel like I should. How do you explain this. I've been raised with anime heroes and games. And lately I've been thinking. Being a hero because you feel like you have to be is one thing. But I think there is something to say for someone who knows he doesn't need to be a hero, yet still chooses to be in such a world. I'd like to be like that somewhere. But at the same time, I'm also just human. I don't know who I am sometimes. Haha. Idk how we got here all of a sudden.

Just. Anyone, advice? Or maybe you don't have it. That is okay too. Typing away helps a bit.

Omg I texted someone asking if they work out, because they look good. My neighbour. Who I kinda have a crush on. He was walking around with no shirt on. I am feeling like a little girl even if I'm a 34 year old man. He didn't respond yet.

I need to scream in my pillow. Why is this emotion always so intense. 🤯🤯🤯

Edit; he took it well. He thought it was nice I complimented him. Ofcourse it's not lovers language but still. Good that it went on the right foot ☺️.

Hello all!

So I'm a pale/light cool pink toned muted olive. Yes I know myself well. I also learned that I fall under fall make-up. Like, any muted colors that look great in the fall, just look beautiful on me. A mauve or pinky rose are kind of my lips but better shades. A taupe turns brown and a gray turns like a muted plum? Anyway.

I like make-up nowadays that is light coverage. That work with my own skin. And I really love the elf pout clout clicking lip plumper.... except.... I don't like the plumping and they don't have my exact shade! The plumping also makes the lipstick turn more red on my lips. And I'm actually trying to keep it muted.

So do you have any ideas on getting the same formula, without the plump, with a taupe or gray shade? That'd be great!

Please advise me make-up gods.

So I love my life. I really do. It’s just. Animal cruelty. Chickens get killed after 2 years of laying eggs. Chicken that get used for their meat don’t even live a year. Meanwhile I’m 34.

It’s not just chicken. Other animals too. I buy 3 star or biological chicken eggs. And I want to buy 3 star meat too so at least they have a better life, and eat less. But it’s unpayable compared to 1 star.

Also, I’m on a diet and my diet lady tells me that it’s better if I don’t eat processed foods (vegan meat).
She tells me to eat it once a week.

Just I think it is so sad that such cute animals just don’t have a life for me to live a longer life. I truly hate the way animals get treated by us humans. And I do it too. Me. I just. Sometimes I just want to cry okay. I just want to cry when I think about it.

Criminals killing people gets jailtime and ‘it’s so bad’ but people killing animals happen on the daily. Like they mean nothing. And ofcourse people killing people is not okay, but you get what I mean right?

How do you deal with this? Advice? I think about it every time I eat meat or eggs, or whatever. When I eat vegan I am happy. Because no animal got hurt in my food. But I really do want to lose weight. And I did - while eating vegan. Like 3,2 kg in a bit more than one month, and I weighed 85,2. I lost some muscle because I had to eat protein after a workout wich I didn’t do because I kept track of my diet - anyway. Back to the point. How do you deal with this?

Hey all! I bought the Cullen lip kit from glamlite a while ago. I loved the gloss in the winter. I loved the lipstick. I didn’t love the liner, because it was too black

I was playing with make-up today and WHOA. The liner. It blended pretty well. And it turned into this beautiful grey. Wich I can lovingly so use as a pale cool toned olive skin person.
And then I panicked. The lip kits are limited edition. And basically almost all gone. I do still have a full pencil right now ~ but we know how fast those empty up.

Does anyone know any product that is similar to this lipliner pencil? It just faded into gray as I blended it. I love a lipliner that is blendable into gray. Then I used the lipstick from the kit in the center of my lips, and it was probably the most beautiful yet masculine and sophisticated looking lipstick on my male lips. My vampy emo vibes were tickled together with my charcoal eyeliner.

Oke, dus ik ben vroeger vaak naar basic fit geweest, of naar fit for free, en heb vaak krachttraining gedaan. In het begin met een vriend. Later alleen. Laten we zeggen dat ik niet een mensenmens ben, maar ik ben me zeer bewust van het ego en psychologie. Ik ben ook een snelle leerling in dingen die me interesseren heb ik gemerkt.

Ik heb heel vaak mijn eetpatroon veranderd in de hoop dat ik zou afvallen of spier zou aankomen.
Tevergeefs. Ik ben skinnyfat gebleven. Soms met wat meer spier. Maar nooit heel veel.

En uiteindelijk kom ik dan op een moment dat ik instort en stop. Waarschijnlijk ging ik dan te ver door. Misschien werd het eens tijd om hulp te zoeken in plaats van dat ego achterna te lopen.

Nu ben ik bij de dietiste aan het lopen, en ik ben al wat kilo’s afgevallen. Ik heb alleen de afspraak gemist dus ik weet nog niet of het vooral vet. Ik hoor het de 3e.

Ik wil eigenlijk eruit krijgen wat ik erin stop. Ik ben niet rijk. En ik weet ook niet eens waar ik moet zoeken voor een personal trainer. Ik bedoel, ik kan best googlen. Maar ja.

Indien nodig wil ik wel weer een abbonement op de gym nemen. Ik hoef geen hulk te zijn, maar het lukt me totaal niet om m’n borst op te bouwen. Nou net de spieren die ik het mooiste vind. Ik bedoel, ik ben me somewhat bewust van welke spieren ik gebruik maar misschien is mijn vorm gewoon verkeerd. Ik zit ook gewoon met veel vragen. Ik zou graag om advies willen vragen.

Hello all! How do you do?

Okay, so I have a question. I’m no expert. I’m playing a 100 euro guitar from Valencia and I can barely play a Taylor swift song.

However… I love it. And I taught myself. I’m no expert on the notes or something, I can just play a few chords.

My guitar’s sound is quite… soft. I play with my fingers but it’s a 4/4. I really don’t know how to play with a pick.

Anyway, I learned about steel string guitars. Acoustic ones. So I had my sights set on buying one. My budget is 700 euros max for a steel string maybe electric acoustic guitar.

But then - I had pieces of sum 41 in my head. Then I was like NOOO. WHY. HE PLAYS AN ELECTRIC GUITAR.

But… my favorites are among country, pop and rock. So now I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what guitar I should get. I want a more professional one, but I don’t want to pay 1000 either.

And I want to play both taylor swift songs and rock songs. But then again you can’t hear an electric guitar unless plugged in.

Just… did anyone ever have this decision trouble? I really don’t know what to do. There are also so many guitars. I understand the difference between wood types though for the top of the guitar. Just… I have choice stress kinda.

So, I do this thing at times where I walk late at night. I visit the old place where I lived when I was younger. It makes me feel… a bit sad but also happy.
Then I walk around thinking about what a different world my life is. How much I’ve grown. That kid wouldn’t believe who I am today. So intelligent.

I walk around thinking. Reminiscing. There is a park near my house. Very dark. But you know, wherever it’s dark, people don’t really dare to go. So I feel very safe. I just sit at the bench and look up at the blue starry sky. Seeing how big the universe is. I feel so small. And what’s even more interesting is that I’m seeing the past when I look at the stars. You can even see light from stars that aren’t there anymore.

I listened to echo from Jason Walker when I got home. And I really feel like listening to my emo playlist. But at the same time this feeling is a bit overwhelming. I want to talk to someone but I have nobody who understands this and it’s late at night. I’ll survive though. It’s a nice sensation, just… idk.

The world is so special. I don’t understand how a lot of people need extreme stimuli when there is already so much stimuli if you only take the effort to look up. Marvelous. Mysterious. Do you do this sometimes? What are your experiences? Or maybe you have something to just say. Anything. I don’t know what I’m asking here really haha. Maybe I just want to…. be with you in reddit, in this way.

I work in a community centre as a volunteer. I randomly get involved in a situation that isn’t mine. Suddenly, a mediator tells me that I should talk to people that enter and let myself be known.

Every time those people come in (the same people)I say ‘hi’ and I’m available. But I need to manage emotions and regulate myself because I’m autistic. And now the mediater tells me that ‘I should talk to the them because they want me to do that’.

And I’m like, no. I say hi. I’m available. If they want to talk, they can speak to me.

But then she tells me ‘I should just do it because these people need it’.

I just don’t want to make their problem my problem. They never say anything to me, not interest nothing. I’m literally in front of the bar when they enter and they say hi or nothing and just walk away. I don’t expect anything from them. Come to me if you want to say something? I’m not someone who is interested in other people. It’s just my nature. I’m a loner preferably and just do my work. I don’t want to be their friend and fake it. If they ask me where I live I will say I don’t want to say that.

Now I’m debating between picking myself and getting in another conversation or just let it slide and remove a part of my self value.

Because I know this will kick me out even if I’m right. Just, higher ups are so unfair. And I just don’t want to give any self value away.