u/Horror-Turnover-1089

Oke, dus ik ben vroeger vaak naar basic fit geweest, of naar fit for free, en heb vaak krachttraining gedaan. In het begin met een vriend. Later alleen. Laten we zeggen dat ik niet een mensenmens ben, maar ik ben me zeer bewust van het ego en psychologie. Ik ben ook een snelle leerling in dingen die me interesseren heb ik gemerkt.

Ik heb heel vaak mijn eetpatroon veranderd in de hoop dat ik zou afvallen of spier zou aankomen.
Tevergeefs. Ik ben skinnyfat gebleven. Soms met wat meer spier. Maar nooit heel veel.

En uiteindelijk kom ik dan op een moment dat ik instort en stop. Waarschijnlijk ging ik dan te ver door. Misschien werd het eens tijd om hulp te zoeken in plaats van dat ego achterna te lopen.

Nu ben ik bij de dietiste aan het lopen, en ik ben al wat kilo’s afgevallen. Ik heb alleen de afspraak gemist dus ik weet nog niet of het vooral vet. Ik hoor het de 3e.

Ik wil eigenlijk eruit krijgen wat ik erin stop. Ik ben niet rijk. En ik weet ook niet eens waar ik moet zoeken voor een personal trainer. Ik bedoel, ik kan best googlen. Maar ja.

Indien nodig wil ik wel weer een abbonement op de gym nemen. Ik hoef geen hulk te zijn, maar het lukt me totaal niet om m’n borst op te bouwen. Nou net de spieren die ik het mooiste vind. Ik bedoel, ik ben me somewhat bewust van welke spieren ik gebruik maar misschien is mijn vorm gewoon verkeerd. Ik zit ook gewoon met veel vragen. Ik zou graag om advies willen vragen.

Hello all! How do you do?

Okay, so I have a question. I’m no expert. I’m playing a 100 euro guitar from Valencia and I can barely play a Taylor swift song.

However… I love it. And I taught myself. I’m no expert on the notes or something, I can just play a few chords.

My guitar’s sound is quite… soft. I play with my fingers but it’s a 4/4. I really don’t know how to play with a pick.

Anyway, I learned about steel string guitars. Acoustic ones. So I had my sights set on buying one. My budget is 700 euros max for a steel string maybe electric acoustic guitar.

But then - I had pieces of sum 41 in my head. Then I was like NOOO. WHY. HE PLAYS AN ELECTRIC GUITAR.

But… my favorites are among country, pop and rock. So now I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what guitar I should get. I want a more professional one, but I don’t want to pay 1000 either.

And I want to play both taylor swift songs and rock songs. But then again you can’t hear an electric guitar unless plugged in.

Just… did anyone ever have this decision trouble? I really don’t know what to do. There are also so many guitars. I understand the difference between wood types though for the top of the guitar. Just… I have choice stress kinda.

So, I do this thing at times where I walk late at night. I visit the old place where I lived when I was younger. It makes me feel… a bit sad but also happy.
Then I walk around thinking about what a different world my life is. How much I’ve grown. That kid wouldn’t believe who I am today. So intelligent.

I walk around thinking. Reminiscing. There is a park near my house. Very dark. But you know, wherever it’s dark, people don’t really dare to go. So I feel very safe. I just sit at the bench and look up at the blue starry sky. Seeing how big the universe is. I feel so small. And what’s even more interesting is that I’m seeing the past when I look at the stars. You can even see light from stars that aren’t there anymore.

I listened to echo from Jason Walker when I got home. And I really feel like listening to my emo playlist. But at the same time this feeling is a bit overwhelming. I want to talk to someone but I have nobody who understands this and it’s late at night. I’ll survive though. It’s a nice sensation, just… idk.

The world is so special. I don’t understand how a lot of people need extreme stimuli when there is already so much stimuli if you only take the effort to look up. Marvelous. Mysterious. Do you do this sometimes? What are your experiences? Or maybe you have something to just say. Anything. I don’t know what I’m asking here really haha. Maybe I just want to…. be with you in reddit, in this way.

I work in a community centre as a volunteer. I randomly get involved in a situation that isn’t mine. Suddenly, a mediator tells me that I should talk to people that enter and let myself be known.

Every time those people come in (the same people)I say ‘hi’ and I’m available. But I need to manage emotions and regulate myself because I’m autistic. And now the mediater tells me that ‘I should talk to the them because they want me to do that’.

And I’m like, no. I say hi. I’m available. If they want to talk, they can speak to me.

But then she tells me ‘I should just do it because these people need it’.

I just don’t want to make their problem my problem. They never say anything to me, not interest nothing. I’m literally in front of the bar when they enter and they say hi or nothing and just walk away. I don’t expect anything from them. Come to me if you want to say something? I’m not someone who is interested in other people. It’s just my nature. I’m a loner preferably and just do my work. I don’t want to be their friend and fake it. If they ask me where I live I will say I don’t want to say that.

Now I’m debating between picking myself and getting in another conversation or just let it slide and remove a part of my self value.

Because I know this will kick me out even if I’m right. Just, higher ups are so unfair. And I just don’t want to give any self value away.