u/HostIndependent3703

[removed]

I honestly still can't believe I'm typing this. My hands are shaking a little. I just got home and my phone is blowing up, but I can't bring myself to look at most of the messages. I need to know if I completely lost my mind or if my feelings are valid here.

Let me give you some context. I've known this woman since we were in pigtails. We went through everything together middle school drama, high school heartbreaks, college breakdowns, you name it. She's always been the "planner" in our friendship. You know the type color-coded calendars, five-year goals, vision boards. I've always been the opposite. I'm messy, I go with the flow, and I genuinely love my life even if it doesn't look like a Pinterest board.

I was so, so happy when she got engaged. I cried at the proposal story. I helped her pick out save-the-dates. I spent way too much money on a bridesmaid dress I'll never wear again. I was all in, because that's what you do for someone you love.

The wedding day was gorgeous. Everything went perfectly. The ceremony was emotional, the food was amazing, and people were dancing. I was having a genuinely great time, smiling so much my cheeks hurt.

Then she pulled me aside.

At first, I thought she wanted a quiet moment together. You know, best friend stuff. Maybe she was overwhelmed with emotion and needed to vent. But then she got this weird, serious look on her face, and my stomach dropped.

She told me she and her new husband had been "worried" about me for a while. She mentioned my job which I actually love, by the way. She brought up my apartment, which is small but cozy and mine. And then she brought up the fact that I'm still single. She said it with this pity in her eyes, like I was a stray puppy she found in the rain.

And then she pulled out her phone and showed me a spreadsheet. I'm not joking. A literal, color-coded, multi-tab spreadsheet titled something like "Life Optimization Plan." It had columns for career changes, savings goals, real estate timelines, and a section for "Relationship Strategy." She told me she'd already talked to her new husband's cousin, a "very successful" accountant, and arranged for us to "accidentally" meet at the reception.

I just stared at her. I couldn't form words. On her wedding day. Her WEDDING DAY. She decided this was the perfect moment to tell me everything about my life was wrong and hand me a homework assignment to fix it.

I told her I was happy. I told her I didn't ask for this. I told her I felt like she just looked at my entire existence and saw a renovation project, not a friend. My voice cracked, I'm not gonna lie. I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes.

She got defensive immediately. Said she was just trying to help because she loves me. Said she wants me to "have what she has." And that's when something in me just broke. Because I realized she wasn't hearing me. She was so convinced she was right that my actual feelings didn't matter.

So I grabbed my purse, told her I couldn't do this, and left. I walked right out of the reception hall, got in my car, and drove home in complete silence. I didn't make a scene. I didn't yell. I just... left.

Now my phone is flooded. Some friends are saying I was way too sensitive and that she meant well. They say I should have just smiled, nodded, and dealt with it after the honeymoon. Others are saying she was completely out of pocket and I had every right to walk.

But here's the thing I feel betrayed. Not because she gave me bad advice, but because she looked at my life, which I genuinely love, and told me it wasn't enough. On the day that was supposed to be about her love story, she decided to rewrite mine without asking permission.

I don't even know if I can look at her the same way again. Am I the jerk for leaving?

TL;DR: My best friend spent her wedding reception trying to give me a color-coded life plan to "fix" my career, home, and love life. I felt humiliated and disrespected, so I walked out. Now half our friends think I overreacted and the other half agree with me.

So I went away for a three-day weekend and paid my cousin seventy bucks to house-sit and feed my rough collie. He is a show-line dog with a thick, healthy double coat. Before leaving, I showed her his brushes, his exact food portions, and specifically mentioned that he pants when he sleeps because that is just how collies regulate heat.

sunday evening I get home and my dog meets me at the door looking completely unrecognizable. She literally took him to a random groomer down the road and had him buzzed down to the pink skin with clippers. She smiled and told me she did me a favor because he looked hot and it was ninety degrees outside.

Anyone who owns a double-coated breed knows that shaving them destroys their undercoat, ruins their temperature regulation, and exposes them to severe sunburns and heat stroke. I rushed him to the emergency vet because his skin was already bright red and irritated with razor burn. When I sent her the three-hundred-dollar vet bill and told her she ruined his coat for years, she started crying to our family.

Now my relatives are messaging me saying I am being an ABSOLUTE monster over "just some dog hair" that will grow back anyway. I should of known better than trusting her with basic instructions, but am I really the jerk for refusing to talk to her until she pays for the vet visit?

hello,

I have been reading talesfromthe desk for a while and learn to possibly never book with 3rd party. And I see a lot of refund stories so I have a question:

Last year I was in staying in a 5 star hotel in Berlin. I had by toothbrush (without its cap) inside a glass by the sink, the cap inside the glass. When I got back to my room the toothbrush was put on the surface of the sink and the cap was missing. I went donw to the front desk, showed them the picture and asked for a dental set.

they said they were very sorry that this happened, and that the cleaning stuff was not even allowed to touch toothbrushes and then gave me a dental set. I said thank you and left. No yelling, no anything as this is not the front desks fault. I just needed a new toothbrush which was provided to me.

Then when I got back to my home country a couple of days later, I wrote a review detailing everything. Their excuses included.

Only after the review someone from PR called me and said how sorry they were and to visit them next time I was in Berlin and that they would offer me some tea/coffee.

My question is this: what would you have done if something like this happened in your hotel. Would you have offer some sort of compensation? I dont know, i just keep reading situations where you offer some sort of compensations and was wondering if they should have given me something and if i wanted to be a polite karen and tried to get something, how should i have gone about it? Maybe yelling a little instead of being too nice about the situation? (and now i am both hating my english and myself for being greedy)

And I also learned to never ever keep my toothbrush without its cap.

My wife and I have a secluded river spot we like to swim at (Muchyedo Banks in NH. Giving the name of it for reference so that people can visualize the story better). Getting to the spot requires sliding down steep sand banks and climbing back out. It is not an easy spot to get to, but worth it cuz there is a small flat landing on the bottom. Kayakers and boats regularly go down that river and usually dock at the flatter beach across from us (which can’t be accessed by vehicle/foot).

We were there the other day and a family rolled right up to us on kayaks; a father, mother and two teen daughters. The mother asked if they can dock real quick. I assumed they just had to take care of something real quick before paddling back on their journey but they seemed to basically be settling in next to us. Swimming in the water RIGHT NEXT TO US, mother trying to make small talk with us, daughters playing in the clay deposit that is near our spot (covering themselves with clay and then jumping into the water). The father, however, had no part in it. He paddled across the river and waited for them on the flatter beach. He said he was gonna go “wait in the shade” but I think he felt the awkwardness of the interaction.

Eventually my wife pulled the bandaid, waited until her daughters were out of earshot and said “You know, we were kinda hoping to have a private beach moment” and she got super defensive “Well it’s a public beach!” Which is true yes. But I also feel like public use recreation areas operate an unspoken rule of first come first serve etiquette. Like you wouldn’t go sit at a picnic table in a park with a couple or a family who is using it.

The part that really frustrated us was that they had way more mobility with their kayaks and had tons of options of places to dock (including the flat beach across the river that dad was waiting at) and instead they docked right next to the small piece of flat land that we had to climb down to.

I feel guilty because that clay deposit must be somewhere her daughters like to go to all the time. It must be a regular stop on their kayak route. However, I also feel like mom could have taught her daughters an important lesson in flexibility and respecting others’ space by saying “Not today. Somebody else is there”. That is where I’m conflicted. She is right, it is public land, and that is where I’m conflicted. But it felt like we were intruded upon.

She eventually paddled away sarcastically yelling “ENJOY YOUR PRIVATE BEACH!”

Merhabalar,
Çocuğum yok ve evli değilim. Öldüğümde yasal mirasçım kuzenimin çocukları olacak. Ancak kendilerini hayatımda hiç görmedim ve kuzenim ile anlaşamadığım için onlara hiç bir şey bırakmak istemiyorum.

Onlara miras kalmasını engellemek için ne yapabilirim? Darülaceze gibi bir yere kalan mal varlığımın tamamını bıraksam dava açıp itiraz edebilirler mi? Ya da bana bakacak bakıcıya, arkadaşlarıma ya da yasal varisim olmayan uzaktan bir akrabaya bırakabilir miyim?

Konu ile ilgili yorumlarınızı rica ediyorum.

edit: herkese yorumları için teşekkür ederim. Kuzen çocuklarına zırnık koklayamayacaklarının dayanılmaz hafifliği ile hayatıma devam edeceğim.

I have a son (16M) and daughter (16F) who are pretty close with each other (they’re twins). Their mom (my ex wife) passed away 3 years ago and that traumatic incident sort of strengthened their bond.

I have been dating someone for the past year or so, my kids like her and she’s fun. However she recently bought up something which never crossed my mind. She said my son and daughter have an inappropriate relationship and that I need to do something before things go too far. She gave me the below reasons as to why their relationship is inappropriate.

A. They sometimes sleep on the same bed. B. My daughter usually sits on my son’s lap. C. They kiss each other on the cheek pretty frequently. D. My daughter was an emotional mess and was crying frequently when my son was away for a week. E. My daughter usually writes handwritten love letters for my son every week. F. My son gets 12 red roses for my daughter every month.

Personally I don’t think any of these above reasons are that big a deal and it only shows how much they love each other. Would my girlfriend have said the same thing if my kids were the same gender? I don’t think it’s inappropriate but maybe I’m missing something. I’ve read one of my daughter’s letters and she was just talking about how much she loved her brother.

I 20F and husband 23M got married 6 months ago but have been together 5 years. (I was 15 he was 17 and we grew up together and were friends for years before this) I moved into the house he bought for me to go to college, after I graduated high school. We have been struggling with intimacy lately and I need advice.
Edit-he does all the financials other than I send him 300-400 a month for rent and my phone bill out of the 550 my parents give me (during school year). I work 2 part time jobs while going to university full time. Our monthly bills are around 2000 and I am paying some of my student loans off while in college. Yes, now that we’re married I would get half the house if we divorced but collectively we’re in almost 300,000 debt from both of our school, cars, and the house. His sister and her 2 toddlers also lives with us but up until 3 months ago when I brought it up, she was living with us rent free for almost 10 months. But I am expected to pay 300-400 a month.

Whenever I lived with my parents, we never really had sex in a bed. It was in the car or quickies when we could. Now that we live together and are older, we don’t have spontaneous sex at all. I use my toys when we have sex because it’s the only way I can finish. He gets annoyed that I use the toys every time but it feels better to me that way.
In the last 8 months or so, we would watch porn while having sex. In the beginning of the relationship I told him I didn’t like him watching it but even though I told him that, he never stopped. (I’ve asked several times over the years) so I figured if you aren’t going to stop, I’ll join you.
Fast forward to the last 4 months. When dirty talking he ALWAYS talks about bringing another girl. (His body count is 7 and mine is 1) Whenever I talk about bringing another guy he gets upset if I say much. But then he talks about bringing another girl and asks me to pick someone. Not a famous person BUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS. At first I was like ok whatever. But as times went on he asked me to pick a girl to finish to 4 times in a row. So obviously im like oh I’m not good enough for him to finish to. With the combo of that and me gaining about 40lbs since we’ve moved in together, I’m very self conscious. We never have sex with the light in anymore, and 9 times out of 10 he watches porn while we have sex and must to finish to it.
I’ve told him several times that I don’t like him bringing up other girls ESPECIALLY my best friends. It’s weird to me and something that’s actually obtainable unlike a porn star. He still does it occasionally but is less often than in the beginning.

For reference we usually have sex minimum 1 time a week but sometimes 2-3. The longest we’ve ever went without sex was 3 weeks because I had a 5mm cyst on my ovary and had to get it removed a week before our wedding. That way we could have sex on our honeymoon. Other than that 3 week period, it’s atleast once a week.
WHAT DO I DO?? He doesn’t stop when I tell him I don’t like something knowing he never stopped watching porn when we were younger makes me wonder if he finishes to my friends Instagrams behind my back.

TLDR- my husband gets mad I when I bring up other guys but then wants to finish to my friends Instagram pics. I’ve told him I don’t like it but he still asks and has to watch porn almost every time we have sex.