u/Icy-Doughnut-4879

**Trigger warning for abuse**

I’m trying to maintain no contact after my boyfriend left me but it’s so hard. I keep thinking about things he did to me and it makes me feel so sick to my stomach. I can’t stop thinking about them and I feel so ashamed that I didn’t leave or stick up for myself. This was my first relationship, and my first sexual experiences. He was 33M and I’m 20F

He pressured me to take plan B birth control in front of him, and I felt forced because I was in his car and he was my ride home. This was even when I told him I wanted to take it when I got home, and he insisted that I take it as soon as possible in front of him. He then left me alone to deal with the effects of the pill (I was in a lot of pain and had horrible anxiety, I was crying a lot too) and went on a date with his partner (he was poly)

He also hit me in the face during sex without consent and I was too shocked and scared to say something so I just acted like I was okay with it. He also used to say things I wasn’t comfortable with during sex, like referring to me as a “teen” and talking about SAing me without asking if that was okay first.

Sorry that was a lot but I just want to get everything off my chest. All I want to do is message him and tell him how much he hurt me and to tell him to never ever do it again and to stay far away from young woman but I know that’s not the best thing right to do especially with the break up so fresh (under a week ago)

Any advice is appreciated, please be kind.

My first relationship just ended and I don’t have a support system. I just want to share my story and what I went through and get some kind support. Thank you

This is probably a stupid question but I keep thinking about things he did to me and it makes me feel so sick to my stomach. I can’t stop thinking about them and I feel so ashamed that I didn’t leave or stick up for myself. This was my first relationship, and my first sexual experiences.

He pressured me to take plan B birth control in front of him, and I felt forced because I was in his car and he was my ride home. This was even when I told him I wanted to take it when I got home, and he insisted that I take it as soon as possible in front of him. He then left me alone to deal with the effects of the pill (I was in a lot of pain and had horrible anxiety, I was crying a lot too) and went on a date with his partner (he was poly)

He also hit me in the face during sex without consent and I was too shocked and scared to say something so I just acted like I was okay with it. He also used to say things I wasn’t comfortable with during sex, like referring to me as a “teen” and talking about raping me without asking if that was okay first.

In the end he left me, after I put up with so much, I don’t know why. Please be kind.

For me it was hearing ghosts n stuff for the first time on the radio when I was about 4-5. I thought it was the coolest thing I ever heard and have been in love with edm ever since!

On Monday my first boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me after a month of not seeing each other because he was out of town. He gave me no warning, no signs, was flirty and sweet leading up to the break up. I was completely ready to have a nice date with him and reconnect after a month of missing him just to be told that he could no longer offer the future I wanted (a long term relationship). He was my first for everything, even my first kiss.

It was really devastating at first, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that the break up was the kindest thing he could have done for me. I am also coming to terms with how shitty of a relationship it was, age gap aside. He used to pretend to be such a “feminist” meanwhile he pressured me to take plan b in front of him even when I told him very clearly I wanted to take it at home. He then told me he wouldn’t be around to talk after because he was going on a date with his partner (he was poly) while I sat alone in my house crying from the anxiety and pain from the pill. He never told me about the side effects of the pill either, even though he was literally a doctor. He also hit me during intimacy for the first time without consent and like the doormat dumbass I am, I never said anything about it. I guess I knew better and shouldn’t have trusted him, should have known that a 33 year old man could never see a future with someone so much younger, but he told me he could, but I guess that changed (or he likely never even meant it in the first place) I should look into therapy to examine why I even got into this relationship at all.

But I’m just so angry right now, I don’t even think I miss him anymore I’m just so angry. Angry at myself for staying and angry for him for everything he did to me.

I (20F) just got out of a relationship with a poly man (33M) (yes I know the age gap is horrible, I should have known better but he was my first for everything) and am so happy to find this group for support. He used to pretend to be such a “feminist” meanwhile he pressured me to take plan b in front of him even when I told him very clearly I wanted to take it at home. He then told me he wouldn’t be around to talk after because he was going on a date with his “partner” while I sat alone in my house crying from the anxiety and pain from the pill. He also hit me during sex for the first time without asking first. He also cheated on his ex of 4 years after she moved provinces for him then decided he was poly.

He was a sick fucking degenerate who used to act like he was such a progressive feminist meanwhile he was doing all this to women he called his “partners” I’m so happy to have him gone from my life. My last words to him were rightfully “I fucking hate you”

My bf just broke up with me, give me your favourite angry, jaded, fuck you songs!

We had issues for a while, but today (with no heads up and after not seeing each other for a month because he was out of town) he told me he couldn’t offer me the kind of relationship I want (something long term, enmeshment etc) and he ended things.

We had a big age gap, he’s 33 and I’m 20 and he was my first for everything. It hurts so bad. I keep thinking of the good times we had together and it makes me feel so sad. Any tips and advice or sharing stories is really appreciated.