u/Important_Owl_5374

throwaway

We were friends for a while in high school but it didn't work out. I am from a pretty good family, Mom is a teacher and Dad has a very successful career in finance. She on the other hand was born into a neglectful family and her dad was a drunk. Her mother always shamed her for her father. she was a good student, one of the best if not the best, had plenty hobbies, won art contests but most of the compliments she received were amongst the line: she is so talented, who would have though with such a father or she is very smart, surprising given who her father is. or people simply asked her randomly if he got drunk again. she lived in shame while my experience was kind of oppsosite. I did terrible in school, don't think I had any notable hobbies or passions and people would say: with a family like that, she still wastes resources.

This made me angry and spiteful, but I was 16 when it all happened and I regret what I did and will regret for the rest of my life. her dad got drunk as he usually did and with a friend we recorded it all and uploaded online . the post went viral and of course our friendship ended. it was a friend of mine who uploaded it but I didn't try to stop. I made a terrible mistake. I am now 28 and I want to believe I turned my life around although I dropped out of college and still am not financially independent.

My ex friend who is also my age, so 28 got into an affair with my father last year. My father is in his 48. It was the talk of the town. Dad ended up leaving my mother and they are now together with this woman and plan to get married.

People are blaming me, including my mother. that because of what I did. I regret it, it was horrible, I was a bad person for doing what I did, but it was a mistake I made when I was 16. I never once done anything like that again. I went no contact with my friend ever since, so we didn't keep in touch. but she went to college and made a pretty solid career for herself and she and Dad met at some business conference.

I feel so much shame and anger and I cannot talk about it with anyone because people blame it all on me

I was a plus one at this wedding a couple of weeks ago so I didn't really know anyone there besides my girlfriend. Ceremony was nice and then the cocktail hour was normal and obv dinner starts and everyone is just doing what people do at weddings you know catching up with relatives they haven't seen in ages.

Then the bride starts making the round and at first I genuinely thought she was just being a really attentive host until she stopped at the table next to ours where two guys were talking about football and said, smiling the whole time with a really eerie smile- "No sports tonight, let's keep the conversations about the wedding."

It was so awkward everyone laughed and the guys laughed too then she walked away.

About ten minutes later she stopped an older couple because they were talking about a cruise they'd just come back from. She actually said and I not kidding- "You'll have plenty of time to talk about holidays later today is about us."

She kept doing it all night and it was driving me insane notice how she was sucking away the joy from her own wedding. Someone started talking about buying a house, she redirected them. Someone was telling a story about work and she appeared like Voldemort again. My girlfriend started catching up with a cousin she hadn't seen in years and the bride literally came over and suggested they share their favourite memory of the couple instead. like are you actually serious as an adult? What kind of attention seeking is this? It said so much about her as a person and I was kind of also worried considering my girlfriend is friends with her.

On the drive home I asked my girlfriend if I'd imagined the whole thing because it was so weird.

She just goes - No, she did this at the engagement party too. I am honestly left questioning how is my girlfriend even friends with this lady?

I (27M) never thought I'd be posting on Reddit, but here we are.
A few months ago I matched with a 35-year-old man on a dating app. I'll call him "Soy Sauce."
At first, I thought it would just be a casual meetup. We ended up having a great time and realized we had a lot in common. After that, he asked me out on an actual date, and I said yes.
On our second date, he really went all out. He picked me up, brought me flowers, took me to dinner, and we walked around a lake afterward. During the walk, he told me he had recently finalized a divorce from his wife. According to him, she had moved back home to be with her family, everything was officially over, and since he was openly bisexual, there was nothing I needed to worry about.
As we kept seeing each other, things started feeling serious. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't adding up.
One weekend he was supposed to come hang out with me and some friends. Instead, he disappeared for over 24 hours without saying a word. The next day he finally texted me claiming he was in the hospital because his private area had swollen "to the size of a grapefruit" and that he couldn't talk because he was with his doctor. A few hours later, he said he'd been in a car accident because of medication the doctor had given him.
I didn't believe a word of it.
He didn't have any social media, and he'd told me he had just moved to my city, so I decided to do some digging.
I searched his full name on Facebook and found an Employee of the Month post from the company where he worked. In the photo, he was sitting next to the woman he claimed was his ex-wife.
I found her profile through the comments and sent her a message.
That's when everything unraveled.
She told me they were still legally married.
She also said he'd been secretly sleeping with multiple men throughout their marriage, had signed up for dating apps and adult websites using his work email, and had been lying to both of us.
Then things got even worse.
I'm a full-time drag performer who travels frequently for shows and works in a restaurant between gigs.
When I told my talent agent what was happening, they ran a background check on him. It came back showing convictions related to aggravated stalking and burglary.
Then I found out something that honestly scared me.
Six months before he ever messaged me on the dating app, he had been doing construction work at the restaurant where I work.
Finally, in what feels like the strangest coincidence of this entire story, I found out his wife is a triplet… and I’m a twin. They're almost exactly the same age as my sister and me.
His wife also told me he had allegedly taken out credit cards and loans in his sisters' names and pretended to file taxes on their behalf. According to her, he's now disappeared, making it difficult for her to move forward with the divorce process.
At that point, I decided I wanted nothing more to do with him. I filed for a protective order and even messaged his roommate—who also happens to be his boss—to let him know what had happened.
So... AITA for reaching out to his wife and telling her that her husband was secretly dating me? I honestly feel like she deserved to know, but part of me wonders if I should have just walked away instead of getting involved.

I'm a 30-year-old guy, and my girlfriend (28F) has become completely obsessed with an AI chatbot over the past few months.

At first, I honestly thought it was harmless. She'd ask it random questions, joke around with it, and even show me some of the funny conversations they had. I didn't think much of it.

But then it slowly became... weird.

She started talking to it every single day. If something happened at work, she'd tell the AI before she'd tell me. If we had an argument, she'd disappear into another room and spend an hour chatting with it. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and she'd still be lying next to me smiling at her phone because she was talking to it.

She even gave it a name.

The thing that really got to me was that she'd ask it for relationship advice about us. I'd hear things like, "The AI thinks you overreacted," or, "The AI understands me better than anyone." It started feeling like there was a third person in our relationship, except I couldn't argue with it because... it's literally software.

I tried talking to her about how uncomfortable it made me feel. She laughed and said I was jealous of a computer. Maybe I was. But it genuinely felt like she was emotionally investing in something that wasn't me.

Last week, while she was in the shower, I picked up her phone and deleted the app.

I know I shouldn't have touched her phone. I knew it the second I did it. But I was frustrated, hurt, and honestly tired of feeling like I was competing with an AI for my own girlfriend's attention.

When she realised the app was gone, she absolutely lost it. She demanded to know what happened, and I admitted I'd deleted it. She called me controlling, said I'd violated her privacy, and left to stay with her sister.

Now her friends are messaging me saying I crossed a huge line and that I don't get to decide what she's allowed to use.

Part of me agrees. I know deleting it wasn't my decision to make. But another part of me feels like no one is acknowledging how neglected and replaced I felt.

So... AITA?

I (22F) have a 55 year old mom who, as the title says, won’t stop leaving her vibrator in my bedroom. My parents are separated and dad lives with my grandpa. My mom, sister and I each have our own bedrooms, so her having her own items in her bedroom shouldn’t be an issue, but for some reason it is. I split my time 50/50 between houses, and when I’m at mom’s, there’s almost a guaranteed chance I’ll find her vibrator somewhere in my bedroom.

Hidden in my desk, hidden under clothes in my top dresser drawers, once it rolled out from under my bed. I’m not a prude, I don’t care what my mom does with her free time, but she’s even forgotten about it a few times in the span of the last 6 months in the living room for my sister to find. We always end up moving it back into her bedroom, but the disgust and shock of finding it when grabbing a t shirt or getting my notebook from my desk drawer never has gone away.

I tried to bring it up to her a few times but she always gets super uncomfortable and tries to pass it off with awkward laughter or tense silence with a guilty look on her face. I told her that it’s discouraging me from wanting to come back, and now I just found it AGAIN in my dresser.

Is there a certain way I should discuss this with her that I haven’t before? Should I just move out until she gets it together and leaves it in her bedroom? I know it sounds kind of stupid but it’s a boundary I’ve tried to set because I simply do not want to see my mother’s sex toys. I’m not sure if she just puts it in there while I’m gone, but I’m tired of seeing it everywhere.

I (F 18) and brother (M 21) have always been close, when he moved out i was sad. We would sit together and smoke or listen to music, we were that type of siblings. But i still live with my parents until i move out this august, my brother has already moved out but he came to visit us for a bit, after about 3 days of him home i was laying in bed and im still a huge snapchat user sadly! but i have an old iphone 8 that i used in middle school that i no longer use obviously, and he used it for SOMETHING.. and about 2 days after that (so 5 days of him there) i clicked my snapchat location to check something, and if you do not know on snapchat if someone else is in your account it says something along the lines of “using location off of a different device, switch to this?” and thats when i got suspicious and looked at what devices were logged into my snapchat, i saw the iphone 8 and didn’t think anything of it and just simply texted my brother “stay out of my snapchat.” and he said he was only in it because i had it in there already so he just simply logged out of his snapchat into mine. I believed him, but i knew my snapchat wasn’t safe for work, so he’s been sleeping in my room while he’s been back and i decided to just look thru his phone.. im not sure what i was thinking i was gonna find but i went to his photos and there was nothing, but when i clicked into his hidden i saw like 10+ of my nudes, my heart dropped and i deleted them off of his phone completely and changed the password to my old phone and my snapchat. But that’s my brother, WHAT could he have wanted that for? because i really can not see my brother masturbating to me it’s disgusting and he’s never been a “type” of way to me, never creepy, never nothing. But i looked thru his phone and found he hadn’t sent them to anyone. But genuinely i don’t know what he could’ve needed my nudes for, it disgusts me and i keep asking him when he’s leaving, and to just give me privacy in my room, not because i actually want privacy but i want him away from me. I’ve been sleeping in my bed while he’s sleeps on an extra bed, and i don’t feel safe or comfortable with him in my room when i sleep anymore. I don’t know if he realizes my nudes are gone or not because i’m too scared to tell him i know, but he hasn’t acted guilty for anything.. I just don’t know what to do.

TW: thoughts of unaliving and cancer

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. He is 22 male and I am 23 NB and I am also bisexual. This is relevant because to me, going to the pride parade in my city is a big deal. It is a HUGE one, basically the whole city turns rainbow. I don't have anything specific to do there, just walking around for a bit, walking with the protesters and enjoying everyone being loving and respectful and tolerant. People not assuming my gender is something that has only ever happened there and I tear up almost every time I am there.

Anyways. When my boyfriend and I started dating, he was in a really bad spot mentally. On the day of the pride parade, he told me he was not feeling well and needed someone with him. He has an insanely terrible past full of trauma and I knew he was struggling with thoughts of unaliving himself so although I was very sad to miss pride that year, I didn't go and stayed with him, hoping that the following year (now), we could maybe go together. Now... life has not been too nice in the past year, he had a tumor in his eye that has taken most of his sight in the left eye. He was operated on and it got a little better, but for a week or so now, it's been getting dramatically worse. Explaining it would be too difficult, but long story short, he is sceduled to have another operation in two weeks, two days before the day of the pride parade in my city. It is going to be a big one and he is already pretty nervous, but afterwards, after a few days of rest, he is most likely going to be able to see again. Of course on that day, I will take off work and be with him, take him home and care for him and the following day too, but on sunday, two days after the OP, I had really hoped I could go to the city, just for a few hours and enjoy pride with a few friends, but we were just talking about it and he was really disappointed that I might not be with him that day because he said he was planning on taking the bandage off his eye on that day and needs someone to witness him being able to fully see the world again for the first time in half a year. Look, I know this is an emotional thing for him and usually I don't mind compromising for him, but I've already missed so many events for him and I'm just wondering when I will be able to do things I want again. It's been incredibly warm here the past few days but I can't go to the lake because he can't go due to his eye and I can't leave him home alone. I'm fine with that, but pride is SO important to me, more than my birthday or christmas or easter. Also, I know he doesn't want me going to pride without him because he can get pretty jealous and because he knows I used to make out with a bunch of people there back when I was single and he's afraight of me cheating on him (which I would obviously never do!). We just had a long talk about his fears of me cheating a few hours ago and now he's coming with the "I want you there for when I can see again" thing... I don't THINK that he would make that up just to keep me from going to pride but... idk maybe subconciously?

I'm so sorry this has gotten so long, please tell me what y'all think. Please.