u/Impressive-Tomato333

I’ve been married for 3 years through an arranged marriage. F(28) M(32).The first few months were physically normal, but gradually my husband stopped initiating intimacy. For the last 2 years, there has been almost no physical relationship between us.

Initially, I was always the one initiating, but eventually he started refusing with different excuses. When I finally asked for a proper reason, he said it was because of me—he had trust issues and felt I didn’t respect him. I don’t agree with that, but I still worked on myself, tried to rebuild his trust, and stopped asking for sex. I stayed quiet for around 7 months, hoping things would improve, but he still showed no interest.

During this time, another man from the gym we used to attend came into my life. We became close through Instagram, started talking daily, and got emotionally attached within a month. We exchanged pictures on Snapchat, including some bold/intimate ones. My husband eventually found out and was understandably extremely angry. We were in Europe at the time, but he brought me back to India and left me at my parents’ home.

I fully accept that what I did was wrong and I’m not trying to justify it. However, my husband says that if/when I return, there will be a proper discussion/agreement involving family members and relatives from both sides.

My parents are also very upset, but they want the 2-year lack of physical intimacy to be discussed as well. My husband’s side seems focused only on my mistake and isn’t willing to acknowledge the intimacy issue.

The important thing is that we both still love each other and neither of us wants separation/divorce.

So what should I do now? Should I completely accept my mistake and avoid bringing up the physical intimacy issue, or should I respectfully raise it during the family discussion too?

I’m under a lot of mental stress and genuinely don’t know what the right approach is. I want to save this marriage, but I also don’t want the underlying problems to be ignored.

This year, around Ram Navami, I had a dream where I saw a white idol of Lord Shiva. In the dream, I was standing before Him with folded hands. The dream felt very peaceful, and I still remember it clearly.

The next day, I told my husband about it and asked him to take me to a Shiva temple for darshan. Unfortunately, he didn't have time, so we couldn't go. Instead, I prayed at home.

A month or two later, my married life suddenly took a very difficult turn. My husband dropped me at my parents' house, where I stayed for two months (June and July). It was one of the hardest phases of my life, and I struggled with depression during that time.

While I was there, I started offering water to a Shivling every Monday. It became a source of peace and strength for me.

During this period, I also had a dream in which a snake was chasing me. After looking into it, I found that my birth chart mentions Takshak Kaal Sarp Dosh. Whether or not that's significant, it inspired me to think about performing a puja as a spiritual remedy.

I suddenly felt the urge to arrange the puja on the first Monday of Sawan.

The day before the puja, I visited the temple where it was going to be performed. As soon as I entered, I saw the exact same white idol of Lord Shiva that I had seen in my dream months earlier. The moment I saw it, I couldn't stop smiling. In my heart, I said, "Lord, You finally called me to Your temple."

The next day, after the puja was completed, it started raining. To me, it felt like a blessing from Lord Shiva, and for the first time in months, I felt an incredible sense of peace.

Looking back at everything that happened over these four months, I sometimes wonder if all these events were somehow leading me toward Lord Shiva. It's as if those difficult circumstances became the reason I found my way back to Him.

I'm not trying to prove anything or convince anyone. This is simply how I experienced it, and it brought me a lot of comfort.

I'd genuinely love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever had an experience that felt like a spiritual sign or divine guidance? If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to read your story.

I’ve been married for 3 years (arranged marriage) 28(F) and 32(M). The first few months were normal, but for the last 2 years there has been almost no physical intimacy. My husband gradually stopped initiating, and whenever I tried, he refused with different reasons. Eventually he said it was because he had trust issues with me and felt I didn’t respect him. I worked on myself, stopped asking, and gave him 7 months of space, but nothing changed.

During this period, I became close to another guy from our gym. We chatted daily and exchanged some intimate pictures. My husband found out and was understandably very angry. He brought me back to my parents’ home, and now he says there will be a discussion between both families before I return.

I accept that what I did was wrong, but my parents also want the 2-year lack of intimacy to be discussed. His side seems unwilling to acknowledge that issue.

We still love each other and neither of us wants separation.

Should I completely accept my mistake and stay silent about the intimacy issue, or should I respectfully bring it up during the discussion as well? I’m mentally overwhelmed and don’t know what’s right.

I’ve been married for 3 years (arranged marriage). The first few months were normal, but for the last 2 years there has been almost no physical intimacy. My husband gradually stopped initiating, and whenever I tried, he refused with different reasons. Eventually he said it was because he had trust issues with me and felt I didn’t respect him. I worked on myself, stopped asking, and gave him 7 months of space, but nothing changed.

During this period, I became close to another guy from our gym. We chatted daily and exchanged some intimate pictures. My husband found out and was understandably very angry. He brought me back to my parents’ home, and now he says there will be a discussion between both families before I return.

I accept that what I did was wrong, but my parents also want the 2-year lack of intimacy to be discussed. His side seems unwilling to acknowledge that issue.

We still love each other and neither of us wants separation.

Should I completely accept my mistake and stay silent about the intimacy issue, or should I respectfully bring it up during the discussion as well? I’m mentally overwhelmed and don’t know what’s right.