u/InfiniteAssistance17

more than anything I feel so so bad i literally got 37/80 in maths 57/100 , I just can't move on my neighbours know this lowest maths score of mine I mean I did mess up in pre boards as well but I had done better than previous boards ig attempted every question I would have been okay even if i had scored in 40s or 50s out of 80

But I just can't get this maths score out of my head I had scored 82% in 11th everyone said my base was strong I could score 90+ in 12th I feel so bad i know it was my fault but ....my parents are fine and satisfied with the results but I feel sick seeing this score it's been two days but I can't move on ..

edit :

Seniors I thought I would get some support or even if brutal truths or something but...;(

So I will turn 17 day after tomorrow I was a 90+ scorer throughout my school life except for one year the online period during covid ...since I was 12-13 i dreamt of being a singer a global singer I was not trained whatever i sing i have learnt on my own I started daydreaming give fake interviews 24/7 literally 24/7 the moment I am alone even between watching tv and phone initially it was good eventually I couldn't stop and that became one of the reasons of me feeling overwhelmed the COVID year I had also changed school btw we shifted to a new place so everything was new but I adapted but in this new school I was just a 90+ student not at the extreme top but I felt okay , even after the scores and teachers considering me a good student I felt I knew nothing a lots of time in our country class 11th is know to be toughest with physics chem maths and informatics practices I was in top 5 still felt I was it was just luck 12th messed up felt so overwhelmed i just wanted the singing dream but still I enjoyed everything laughed went on school trip and all that's why I feel I am just victimising myself so in india u have diff college entrances for my subjects I could give JEE for engineering but I didn't want that now I felt maybe I should have given that but I have cuet now that's considered easier but highly competitive due to number of students i cried a lot during 12th finals after that due to confusion about what college to choose what course then I was calm happy doom scrolling singing posting song covers on IG and here i am again not able to study I have neck pain headache and all rn but I just feel tension in legs and arms sometimes but even on days i felt absolutely okay i didn't study my parents are soo supportive even after knowing all this that I haven't studied much for the test dad was a bit angry about me not studying but then again he and mom were like it's okay do whatever u can and even if u don't clear this exam it's alright and that just adds up even more that maybe I am exaggerating and victimising and I am just lazy I just wanted to vent ...

Taurus sun , capricorn moon and libra rising

Heard that finally Taurus people will see the shift but for me I am still extremely confused , still doubting myself , still unsure about things and so on no matter how much I try to be positive and work it's just ......cried so much a day ago cause I just can't study and an entrance is coming and many other things yesterday was still better got some good things but today back again to the point stressing about entrance exams and career and all that maybe a bit lesser than before also I felt better about my singing today I mean before I used to notice each note after posting on IG but now I kinda loved the covers but no big engagements on IG or something (did get some comments from big accounts but reach is still slow), should I expect something big or is it just mindset shift period??

So I am preparing for cuet and honestly i am trying to get 750+ or something so that I don't even think of getting into du with my defence quota (my dad's an exservice man) , my dad also says that don't rely on quota , work hard and prove urself but still just to know I was searching it up and I come in priority VI and maybe the rank concession won't be very high and in all this I came across some posts saying it's unfair the quota is unfair that thing it's understood the frustration cause I also get frustrated by the creamy layer category reservations but they literally restricted it to army men should get the concessions not their kids , those kids are over privileged the high ranked officers kids might be but I mean when I was born my dad wasn't present at that time , me and my mom used to live alone and my mom sometimes used to have health issues and we literally had to rely on our neighbours to even go to hospital sometimes in midnight and all , I used to miss him every day and used to get two or three months with him .Yes maybe I don't deserve the quota maybe I don't deserve to be proud of the service it should be limited to him but if his one and only daughter an only child is getting a perk is that really really that unfair to others ??cause keeping everything aside I just feel if by any chance I do use the quota I will feel guilty srly :(

So , in 12th I studied well enough but compared to last year's or the kind of results everyone expect from me maybe not to that extent, i haven't revised things I mean I started just now (my exam dates are after 15 days), cause ppl around me said it's just 12th level and is very easy etc etc so yeah concepts I know the concepts but I have to revise well cause question solving I am finding it hard to apply the concepts maybe after revision it'll be fine ,I have pcm+english+ip

Also i am a single girl child and an only child and my dad is an exservice man so will that give me any advantage??

What score should I aim for?

also also I sing , I am not trained and I have heard eca category is highly competitive and as I said I am not trained but I can sing well so will it be helpful for me ??

PLEASE HELP!!! 🥺

Heard that finally Taurus people will see the shift but for me I am still extremely confused , still doubting myself , still unsure about things and so on no matter how much I try to be positive and work it's just ......cried so much a day ago cause I just can't study and an entrance is coming and many other things yesterday was still better got some good things but today back again to the point stressing about entrance exams and career and all that maybe a bit lesser than before also I felt better about my singing today I mean before I used to notice each note after posting on IG but now I kinda loved the covers but no big engagements on IG or something (did get some comments from big accounts but reach is still slow), should I expect something big or is it just mindset shift period??

Heard that finally Taurus people will see the shift but for me I am still extremely confused , still doubting myself , still unsure about things and so on no matter how much I try to be positive and work it's just ......

So, being a global singer has been my dream since forever and honestly i was never into k-pop much I always dreamt of performing alone but building that path conventionally is extremely hard when I have no connections in the industry...

But rn after I heard about hybe's auditions I kind of thought about auditioning in vocals category but idk seeing their global girl group they have a little freedom compared to the typical kpop groups and I believe as it's an Indian girl group so they would focus less on surgeries cause they want to create a group that indian women can idolise , they wouldn't want dangerously skinny girls like k-pop the standard 40-45 kgs thing and would also keep the Indian values and societal norms in mind as if they don't do that it will never be super successful in India and will they have creative freedom like writing their own songs becoz the songs for this group have to be better than the global group they already have, cause if they create songs like eat zucchini the group will flop in India as India is rich in music and other artforms, I might be wrong in all this but I am really confused if I should go this way ..