u/Inner_Ad_4725

After last few breakups, I honestly dont feel anything anymore. Had 3 girls in a row who I really liked and would see myself to build something long term with. All 3 ended for one reason or another.

Now, I don’t really feel anything for anyone. I just feel numb. Maybe part of it is my body protecting itself from hurt. Part of it is probably I ended up on SSRIs for a bit and they sort of completely stripped me of my emotions. But now even off of SSRIs for 6 months I don’t feel anything for anyone romantically anymore.

I would like to get that back. Not sure why I feel numb but it sucks. Maybe this is how I’m supposed to feel as I’ve gotten older, I’m 30 now.

I know these roles have been around for a while under various other names. But increasingly seeing posts for companies hiring for these roles.

How would you go about learning the following skills if you are not currently doing this work in your current role?
(Taken from a Google FDE listing):

• Serve as a developer for AI applications, transitioning from rapid prototypes to production-grade agentic workflows (e.g., multi-agent systems, model context protocol (MCP) servers) that drive measurable return on investment.
• Architect and engineer the "connective tissue" linking Google’s AI products to customers' live infrastructure, including APIs, legacy data silos, and security perimeters as part of an expert team.
• Build high-performance evaluation pipelines and observability frameworks to ensure agentic systems meet requirements for accuracy, safety, and latency.
• Identify recurring field patterns and friction points across Google’s AI stack, converting them into reusable modules or formal product feature requests for the Engineering teams.
• Collaborate with customer engineering teams to instill Google-grade development best practices, ensuring long-term project success and high end-user adoption.

I’m sorry for the language but this industry is currently absolute shit. Seriously what are us young people supposed to do? Just pray we don’t get laid off and can never come back? Work a 996 culture 60 hours a week to prove we’re valuable? Then still get laid off? And now have to compete with tens of thousands of senior engineers from the likes of Meta, Amazon, Snap, etc.? Learn a bunch of skills like prompting an AI because the companies tell us to use 100% AI now? So have to study actual important things in my own free time on top of the 996.

Feeling like I chose the wrong career. There will be so much friction the entire way up the ladder now. I’m disheartened about this field and it hasn’t gotten any better since 2022.

The jobs that pay good but also have good work life balance. Is the consensus something like CRNA? Obviously surgeons for example make great money. But you work very very very hard for that money. I’d prefer something that may be a bit less money, but still good earnings with a sense of balance outside of work so work does not consume my whole life.

Edit: By ROI what I really mean is balance. Good pay, help people, and also live a healthy life for myself & not sacrifice my entire life for work.

For the fields that actually afford you to live, none of them actually seem tolerable to me if I’m honest. I guess that’s why they pay money, because no one really wants to do them.

I thought tech might be cool. You’re just staring at a computer your whole life with layoffs happening all the time. Massive job insecurity. Maybe medicine, at least your helping people and the human body is fascinating. But the hospitals treat their employees like shit and med school has massive loan debt. Everything else didn’t pique my interest intellectually in any way.

So we’re just supposed to pick one of these fields and that’s our whole life? Slave away til we’re 65 just to retire and have a bunch of health problems? I don’t see the point or purpose in any of this if I’m honest. Who cares if I have a bunch of money when I’m too old to enjoy it.

I probably would have liked something with music. But that’s clearly not gonna pay the bills. I guess all the real work that pays any decent money just sucks through and through.

For the fields that actually afford you to live, none of them actually seem tolerable to me if I’m honest. I guess that’s why they pay money, because no one really wants to do them.

I thought tech might be cool. You’re just staring at a computer your whole life with layoffs happening all the time. Massive job insecurity. Maybe medicine, at least your helping people and the human body is fascinating. But the hospitals treat their employees like shit and med school has massive loan debt. Everything else didn’t pique my interest intellectually in any way.

So we’re just supposed to pick one of these fields and that’s our whole life? Slave away til we’re 65 just to retire and have a bunch of health problems? I don’t see the point or purpose in any of this if I’m honest. Who cares if I have a bunch of money when I’m too old to enjoy it.

I probably would have liked something with music. But that’s clearly not gonna pay the bills. I guess all the real work that pays any decent money just sucks through and through.

Basically, I would like to know how much I am paying before I buy it. Just like I know how much my groceries will cost before I buy them.

Here’s the message from the hospital:
“For your upcoming appointment it looks like you are having and upper endoscopy and colonoscopy. these are both diagnostic procedures. I am provided an esitmated price of $3000.00 that includes the procedure and anestheisa and if there are any labs/ path taken at time of service. again this is just an estimate. I am provided the procedures codes and diagnosis codes for you to call your insurance to you to get a better estimate of what your responsibility would be. upper endoscopy -43235, diagnosis code -R10.13 Colonsocopy --45378, diagnosis code - Z83.79”

I contact my insurance and they say I have a $2000 deductible, but they cannot give me an exact price I will pay out of pocket.

Why do I have to wait until after my procedure to know the exact price? This should be stated beforehand.

Is this normal? Here’s the message I received from the office:

“Due to your high deductible of $2000.00 and your procedure possibly applying to this we require a DEPOSIT of $750.00. This deposit would go towards any balance you have with us. Anything above the $750.00 will be BILLED to you and can be set on a payment plan. If your insurance covers the procedure or more then we anticipated then we will refund you. Please contact the Billing Office to make payment $750.00 or it will be required the day of the appointment.”

I then asked if the $750 would be applied to my deductible and they said:

“The $750.00 will be applied towards your procedure and if there is is still a remaining balance we will bill to you. It will not be applied to your deductible. Thank You.”

This is for a procedure my GI specialist ordered.

My family growing up was very poor. Well, we were in the US so I guess not completely poor, but we were poor relative to all of my childhood classmates. Couldn’t afford food so school paid, clothes from goodwill, taking out loans just to keep the lights on. Stuff like that.

Well I’d like to make it my goal to build wealth. But if I’m honest I just have no idea how to even approach that. I know some people where making money just seems to feel natural. A wealthy friend once told me “money is easy if you’re open to opportunities.” That’s certainly not the case for me, money has never felt easy in my life.

I think if you start with money, then money is easy. You can use your money to invest & grow your capital. But it you start with nothing, or in my case less than nothing (e.g. loan debt) money is very hard.

Well I’d like to figure this out but I don’t know what to do. Is just go to college get a job the answer to this? Be a working class guy my whole life for money to scrape by and barely afford rent?

I just feel disheartened by all of this and no idea what to do.

I’m a software engineer who just started their career. I make $130k/year which isn’t bad.

I talk to some people who started in the early 2010s. Wow, they made so much money! Working for tech companies & having RSUs.

I worry those days of tech are behind us since those companies have already grown so much.

How can I position myself moving forward to set myself up for similar opportunities? I’m sure it will look different but I want to position myself as best as I can. I thought of starting a business but if I’m honest, I’m not very entrepreneurial. I wish I was. I’d probably be better to just be an employee but save & invest aggressively.

I never realized how bad it was until I am fully off the medicine. Yes, it helped with anxiety I was having a couple of years ago. But the damage it did on everything else was absolutely not worth it. I would have been better finding other ways to manage the anxiety.

I am a 30 year old male. Exercise 4-5 times a week, eat healthy. I have close to zero sex drive, genitals are nearly completely numb. My brain is foggy & cloudy every day, making it difficult to focus at work. My emotions are nearly completely absent. I do not smoke, do not use any other drugs, maybe have a few drinks once every month. None of this started until I took Zoloft.

I have been off the medicine fully for 5 months now. I have noticed marginal improvements in things such as sex drive, but it is still no where near where it was before I took the medicine. I cannot in good faith recommend this medication and will happily share my story so others are aware. Maybe this medicine should only be used as a very last resort, with the understanding that side effects may be lifelong. Please if you are able, find other ways to manage your anxiety or depression. For me it was not worth the long term cost I now have to pay.

For context:
Was on Zoloft about 1.5 years, mostly 25mg but 50mg for a few months. The effects of 50mg were too much for me so I didn’t stay there long.

Also, I am glad we can all share our experiences in a safe place. Informed consent in regards to powerful pharmaceuticals is very important.

I never realized how bad it was until I am fully off the medicine. Yes, it helped with anxiety I was having a couple of years ago. But the damage it did on everything else was absolutely not worth it. I would have been better finding other ways to manage the anxiety.

I am a 30 year old male. Exercise 4-5 times a week, eat healthy. I have close to zero sex drive, genitals are nearly completely numb. My brain is foggy & cloudy every day, making it difficult to focus at work. My emotions are nearly completely absent. I do not smoke, do not use any other drugs, maybe have a few drinks once every month. None of this started until I took Zoloft.

I have been off the medicine fully for 5 months now. I have noticed marginal improvements in things such as sex drive, but it is still no where near where it was before I took the medicine. I cannot in good faith recommend this medication and will happily share my story so others are aware. Maybe this medicine should only be used as a very last resort, with the understanding that side effects may be lifelong. Please if you are able, find other ways to manage your anxiety or depression. For me it was not worth the long term cost I now have to pay.

For context:
Was on Zoloft about 1.5 years, mostly 25mg but 50mg for a few months. The effects of 50mg were too much for me so I didn’t stay there long.

Also, I am glad we can all share our experiences in a safe place. Informed consent in regards to powerful pharmaceuticals is very important.

I never realized how bad it was until I am fully off the medicine. Yes, it helped with anxiety I was having a couple of years ago. But the damage it did on everything else was absolutely not worth it. I would have been better finding other ways to manage the anxiety.

I am a 30 year old male. Exercise 4-5 times a week, eat healthy. I have close to zero sex drive, genitals are nearly completely numb. My brain is foggy & cloudy every day, making it difficult to focus at work. My emotions are nearly completely absent. I do not smoke, do not use any other drugs, maybe have a few drinks once every month. None of this started until I took Zoloft.

I have been off the medicine fully for 5 months now. I have noticed marginal improvements in things such as sex drive, but it is still no where near where it was before I took the medicine. I cannot in good faith recommend this medication and will happily share my story so others are aware. Maybe this medicine should only be used as a very last resort, with the understanding that side effects may be lifelong. Please if you are able, find other ways to manage your anxiety or depression. It is not worth the long term cost.

Edit for those asking:
Was on Zoloft about 1.5 years, mostly 25mg but 50mg for a few months. The effects of 50mg were too much for me so I didn’t stay there long.

Also, I am glad we can all share our experiences in a safe place. Informed consent in regards to powerful pharmaceuticals is very important.

I have certainly noticed the online discussion between men & women can often be unhealthy. It’s sad to see algorithms promote this. I am a man, and I don’t feel this way when I am with female friends in person. But if you hop into instagram for example, there is a lot of toxicity flowing both ways in regards to dating the opposite sex.

What would women like to see from men to resolve some of these feelings, if you as a woman truly feel that way? I think men & women have more in common than our differences, but we online social algorithms often do not promote this commonality.

I feel extremely depressed about this. I’ve worked hard on myself in my 20s trying to be a better man someone would want to be with, and I’m just here doing life alone.

I’ve tried to be a good person, be a good listener & understanding, be fun, get in shape, have a good job. I tried to do dating the right way, be loyal to one girl. No one ever cared about any of this. I cannot find someone who sees me for who I am & would want to be with me long term. I’ve dated some pretty woman who I loved but none stayed longer than a year.

This is starting to eat at me & I honestly feel massively depressed. Now career is taking more & more of time time I don’t even have time to look. I’m a software engineer. Team is fully remote but I have to work hard to keep my job. Should I move to an industry I can actually work with people? That loneliness is absolutely eating me inside. I tell people I’m a software engineer they seem to get this initial reaction that I’m just some loser lonely nerd. And I’m not but I’m forced to work many hours on the computer to keep my job. I’m getting tired of this bullshit, I don’t see much hope in the future for having a family in this generation.

1 year XP as a software engineer at a F500 company. If I’m honest I’m having a really hard time seeing a future in this industry as a SWE. I’m a good engineer, but definitely not great. I could probably get into faang eventually.

But the current industry has me pretty disheartened. I’m thinking of just moving to medical for the job stability, & work towards either an MD or CRNA. Probably not as high of a ceiling $-wise but at least will be helping people & not have to stress every day about my job being replaced.

Thoughts on this? Am I overreacting on leaving the tech industry so soon?

Seminal study:

https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/92/1/196/2598434

Many other studies available for those who believe this is a conspiracy benefiting companies selling TRT.

I genuinely believe the social life as an adult is severely lacking in this country. I never once felt this in high school or college.

Sounds crazy but I’d consider going back to college just for the social life! Obviously not financially ideal … how else you do create this as an adult in this country?