u/Interesting-Rush-993

My mom (75) is a victim of verbal abuse for 40 years by my father. My brother and I (35) are also victims of his verbal and sometimes physical abuse. This traumatise both of us, and my brother once was physically abusive to me, although I have somehow forgave him.

My father was recently physically abusive to my mom and not just verbally abusive like usual. My brother and I are pushing for separation and she seems to finally agree that she cannot stay with my father. She doesn't want to press charges however. We're worried they will be back together soon as they seem codependent.

We suggested that both parents separately seek therapy. I've been trying to convince my mother, trying to explain that I am seeing a therapist, explaining that I selected one that seems really nice and competent, that it would help her. She got really mad and refused. It's not possible for her to ask the help of any doctor or therapist, she doesn't want to change who she is, and she did nothing wrong. However she of course expects me to be her therapist without realising, which I'm not mentally able to do and won't do. She does not grasp at all that her decision to never leave our father ruined both my brother and I.

I guess my question is, if you were reluctant to see a therapist as a victim of abuse, what convinced you to go and did it help?

I worked in a university in an European country - on paper, it's an ideal "work" environment in the sense that there is no real "boss" or "shareholders", as every position of power is held by a colleague we vote for. There is no incentive to treat your colleagues poorly. There is strong public health insurance that covers half of your salary if you are seriously ill. The financial situation of the university is also good. And yet, it's constant power abuses at all levels, harassment, most people in burnout, wild discrimination at all level.

This led me to be let go while/because I was gravely ill (I'm still am). For years they were all smiles with me because I was the only woman of the department, it is really bizarre. If people act like this in an "ideal" environment with rules and laws, I can't imagine in corporate environments in countries with weak labor laws. People are just simply awful.

I've been trying to make my own tofu, and the soy making process is a struggle. Is there any places in Brussels or around where fresh soy milk is sold? Alternatively if you have a recommendation for a soy milk machine, please don't hesitate.

Je suis dans une institution qui se prétend éclairée, humaine, qui met la justice au centre de ses valeurs. Les collègues qui m'ont engagés semblaient au courant des problématiques d'inclusion, d'injustice etc, ce pourquoi j'ai décidé de prendre ce boulot.

Au bout de trois ans, c'est le désenchantement total. Tous ces beaux discours étaient totalement de façade, je n'y ai vu que du feu. Je ne sais même pas si c'est intentionnel de leur part ou si c'est par ignorance. Je suis tombée gravement malade la troisième année, j'ai essayé plusieurs fois de leur demander des accommodations et de l'aide, pour éviter d'enchaîner les arrêts, mais ils ont été intraitable. Pour eux, être malade c'est juste avec une grippe et revenir au bout d'une semaine, j'ai l'impression. Je me suis sacrifiée niveau santé pour pas laisser l'équipe galèrer sans moi, mais au fil des mois ils étaient juste exaspérés que je sois malade et m'ont finalement licenciée. Maintenant je suis toujours extrêmement malade et sans emploi. Je me demande comment ils arrivent à justifier cela à eux mêmes et aligner ça avec leurs belles paroles. Bref c'est cliché mais ne faites jamais confiance dans ces entreprises ou institutions qui prétendent être inclusives. C'est de l'inclusivité si t'es en parfaite santé et que tu marches ou crèves.

I (F35) did a sleep study in the hospital after my brother was diagnosed with sleep apnea. The results were 11 AHI and concentrated during rem sleep. I have terrible symptoms and battling another disease at the same time, so it would help if my sleep improved. However, 11 is considered mild and doctors are unconcerned. I have a recessed chin and a deviated septum. The specialised ENT I saw suggested I try the cheap over the counter mandibular device as well as cognitive behavioural therapy, in case, in his words "it's not really sleep apnea but something else". I'm very confused by that statement. Any women in this sub with sleep apnea? Are you also struggling getting care?

I (F35) did a sleep study in the hospital after my brother was diagnosed with sleep apnea. The results were 11 AHI and concentrated during rem sleep. I have terrible symptoms and battling another disease at the same time, so it would help if my sleep improved. However, 11 is considered mild and doctors are unconcerned. I have a recessed chin and a deviated septum. The specialised ENT I saw suggested I try the cheap over the counter mandibular device as well as cognitive behavioural therapy, in case, in his words "it's not really sleep apnea but something else". I'm very confused by that statement. Any women in this sub with sleep apnea? Are you also struggling getting care?

Is there a music festival in bois de la Cambre tonight? I live in Ixelles and it's been loud the whole day.

My brother was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea, and I've been diagnosed with mild sleep apnea as well (F34).

I told my parents that perhaps one of them or both should get tested as well. My dad almost died from a heart attack a few years ago. My mother says "it was his anxiety" but I'm not convinced.

I'm still trying to falling asleep with the cpap but failing, I suffer from insomnia and the cpap triggers it badly. It's very frustrating.

I have a little garden and I'm trying to grow a few things (flowers and vegetables) but where I live the weather has been really strange the last few years and we had an invasion of slugs and snails. I refuse to use anything that could hurt them so I basically focus on the few plants that survive.

Then it hits me that farmers are using all types of pesticides killing all kind of insects, including organic farmers. In a way I understand, if crops are like my garden then nothing seems to survive, but at the same time, it makes me sad (not to mention it's terrible for biodiversity).

Question is not about to prevent insects to eat my plants. How do we consider our plant based food vegan when in fact farmers just decimate insect populations and destroying biodiversity?

Bonjour tout le monde, je cherche un avocat en droit du travail de confiance qui pourrait m'aider avec un licenciement qui me semble suspect.

Merci d'avance!

What the title say. I have been let go after my three years probation, which came as a surprise to everyone myself included. The process in my country (not uk/us) is always described as a "formality" as it is really easy to reach the expectations and you can only be let go in case of grave failure. I published (brilliantly), taught well, took on some admin positions. The only real critique is that I was too slow to publish on the topics that mattered the most to them (plan was to pivot to topic 1 to 2, but I had to quickly finish some already started projects, all of this was also in the open during recruitment and I was reassured it was not a problem). Finally, I was sick most of my third year and pressure to go through the evaluation still really sick (shady part).

Since this is so surreal, as a result I don't know anyone who went through this situation. The only person I know was a woman with the same profile as me, let go also in a shady way, who jumped out of a bridge and killed herself. I will never do that, however, I'm a little bit worried about my mental state in the future.

Luckily I decided not to have kids or buy a flat during that probation period even though everyone assured me it was a formality. I don't think they would have taken kindly to me having kids anyway (male faculties only).

If anyone went through something similar, it would mean a lot to chat, especially about the mental toll and how they recovered.

I'm currently renting a flat. When I moved in, the landlord gave me two keys for the door of the flat, both almost broken (metal part is intact, but the plastic part was super old and half broken). Now they are fully broken and I had to mcgiver something to make the keys functional. Early on, I asked him if it was possible to replace the keys or make additionnal ones (we are two living in the flat, so a third set of keys would be nice). He said he lost the security key number (or sth like that) and it was not possible to make new keys. Now we're several years later and when I mentioned it again, he said that is was in fact "my responsability" to change the keyhole and purchase new keys. He also said that it was the building's responsability. So I'm really confused. In my country it's definitely the landlord responsability to provide functional keys.
I'm a foreigner, so I don't know if this is a thing in Belgium. I just lost one set of keys and now pretty defeated that I can't make new keys and to think that he is going to make me pay for the whole replacement of the keyhole and keys, since it's not possible to make new ones.

Any advice?

I'm trying to be fully vegan, but it gives me problems at work. I'm working in a foreign country, in the countryside, where even vegetarianism is seen as a silly thing. I'm the only young woman in the team as well, working on a very different project from the rest of the team. Basically I don't fit in at all. So when I have to explain I'm vegan when we have dinner with team, it makes me so anxious because it aggravates all my issues.

Last time we had a dinner planned in a fancy restaurant, I was asked "since you're a vegetarian does it mean you eat fish?". In the end I got a few potatoes and a lentils steak, probably cooked with butter. Had to listen to my boss making fun of his friends who had a vegetarian wedding.

I love ramen, but I'm vegan. I've had delicious vegan pumpkin ramen in Paris (in Kodawari ramen), but I don't live there anymore and in my current city, the vegan option is always disappointing in restaurant, I know I could make something much better.

Is there any good ressources (a book would be nice) you would recommend?

Someone here a few months ago shared their vegan yuzu ramen, but their recipe description is not clear enough for a beginner like me, I don't understand how to make the shio tare and they deleted their account (https://www.reddit.com/r/ramen/comments/1mhrl3t/vegan\_yuzu\_shio\_ramen\_and\_recipe/)

Thanks a ton!

Je donne des cours à l'université en ce moment. J'ai détesté les profs sévères et méchants pendant mes études, donc je suis la prof qui est toujours super gentille avec les étudiants, mon cours n'est pas difficile à réussir (peu d'enjeu car le nombre de crédits est faible), j'aide les étudiants autant que je peux et je suis disponible pour eux s'ils ont des difficultés ou problèmes. Ça se passe plutôt bien.

J'ai proposé un devoir maison facultatif, le coef est faible, bref il y a pas vraiment d'enjeu. Une étudiante a décidé de le faire et on s'était bien mise d'accord, pas d'IA (apprendre à lire et écrire c'est le but de ma matière donc ça n'a pas d'intérêt). Finalement elle a énormément utilisé l'IA et ce qu'elle a écrit est vraiment mauvais, je vois bien qu'elle a pas compris le sujet ni fait les lectures, citations pas bonnes. J'ai l'impression que si elle faisait elle même elle ferait mieux. J'ai décidé de lui en parler et elle a immédiatement dit que non, elle n'avait pas utilisé l'IA. Comme je suis incapable d'être sévère et d'être dans la confrontation, j'ai dit ok. J'ai essayé de poser des questions pour voir si tout aller bien pour essayer de comprendre mais sans succès. Depuis elle m'a envoyé un mail... écrit par IA (il y avait encore le formattage), j'avoue que ça me déçoit énormément.

Qu'est-ce qui pousse un étudiant à aller si loin dans le mensonge alors que y'a aucun enjeu ? Que depuis le début je ne suis que sympa et j'essaie de l'aider à s'améliorer. Ça m'angoisse pour le futur de l'université en général. Je me demande à quoi je sers, je passe des heures à annoter un brouillon probablement à moitié écrit par IA, je lis des mails écrits par l'IA...

Comment faire pour la convaincre que la meilleure façon de faire les choses pour elle même c'est de faire par elle même ?