u/Intrepid_Ganache5478

How would you feel if you e been seeing a man (28) for a year almost and you are 32, he has a female coworker that joined his construction team shes 19 he then added on social media. Later he mentioned he always gave her lifts from work. I then discovered when he was showing me instagram she daily sends him hindreds of reels. Rexently there was a work party for golf where the teo girls dressed up in golf mini skirts etc they then went back to a coworkers to srink but he came home to me by 9.30 pm. when he came home drunk that day he was scrolling and I saw he had a video of just he swinging in her skirt and a selfie of her and a cat and another pic of her and the other girls then not much else of the boys. In the morning I asked to see his golfing pics and he went all weird and said he had none. He went to toilet and came back and seemed to wanna show me immediately he had none (he had deleted them) about a week later he even offered to show me they didn’t delete from snap chat so if I wanna see them which I denied cos they’re probably different ones. She texts him a lot she’s sent memes saying things jokingly to him like I’m your bear your my kitten and on a recent away trip for work for two weeks she had a nearby separate aparetment but ended up at his apartment hanging at nights aparently due to the guy he was staying with inviting her.
I’ve expressed feelings before cos of the rides and I know what co workers get like and he since unfollowed her on insta but she still sends him reels on there daily too.
Am I crazy? I’ve been betrayed and seen so much coworker stuff on job sites please help give me insight. He also now seems to hide his phone when entering insta messages etc as she prob has sent him something and he’s worried I’d see etc

My ex husband tried to get intimate please read background:

High school sweet hearts together 15 years two kids 13,8. Happy marriage until he indulged in drugs last couple years showed signs of interest in girls online and corn problems. We started arguing I kicked him out over drug use he was acting schizo eventually accusing me of all weird affairs breaking my things it became toxic. He then cheated whilst kicked out after us saying it’s over but clearly wasn’t and saw an escort. He admitted it and grovelled and I tried to forgive so he returned home. This was a year ago. Three months after returning home being disrespectful not really putting effort into me and us arguing he did it again and went to brothel. I then broke up with him he wouldn’t leave house for weeks I eventually retaliated and invited a man round which my husband reacted with dv and destroyed all my things in front of kids smashed up house etc and was very rude to me. For the past year I’ve been somewhat seeing this man he’s given me good company and very respectful but I’ve been completely depressed about what happened. Missing mt husband. He ran to Bali for a month continued to see escorts and other girls a couple
Times for sex and has been partying and drinking and living no good life.
Recently he’s gotten a bit back on his feet despite still drinking. my kids still miss him and don’t like me seeing another guy. For the past year my husband has completed discarded me and any emotional texts I’ve sent and said in the beginning really horrible things like move on I don’t love u anymore I can get heaps of girls. Anyway so it’s been a year we had to meet to sign divorce papers and he became increasingly nice/ respectful and started calling texting me again. At first not much but it increased to him inviting us to dinner. Me and kids went. He hugged me and ended up sending messages he messed up etc and is sad. He then asked me for a coffee yesterday and ended up saying yeah he’s slept with peopl only a couple nothing emotional to which I commented one was very unattractive and for some reason he decided to say she had a good body I liked it whilst trying to sort of apologise to me. Also saying he wouldn’t chase me cos I’m in a relationship with someone else already and have an emotional connection. His reasoning was basically he’s had disconnected sex but he misses me and the family and only actually values me justified by saying no girls have been in his house car anything said he ‘always gets hit on even asked for threesomes when out’ but he rejects them as he ‘still only chooses me’ his words confuse me as does why he has to mention he can get girls. Maybe defensive cos I know he hasn’t had many and I’m a very attractive person.
He then asked me to come back to his but I said no he still just drove there and said please. He asked me for a hug which turned into him trying to kiss me and I did. I enjoyed what I’ve been missing him admitting he misses and cares for me for the past year but he then tried to sleep with me I said no. I don’t want to feel used and I don’t feel he’s put in much or any effort considering the dv and lots of things he’s said / how he speaks of other women openly to me now etc. I just want opinions?! I’ve felt lost in life since I lost him my best friend and can’t imagine a future with anyone else and am still depressed about it. At the same time he did me
So wrong on so many occasions more than mentioned above and has been so mean and dismissive up til the last month. Opinions please. All i ever wanted was mt family back but he didn’t try and I feel my family would hate me for returning too. He hasn’t reached out since yesterday when the guy I was seeing openly expressed he was angry we hung out.