u/Jazzlike-Being3187

I rarely leave the house unless I'm going to appointments and I'm always in bed. I've been so deconditioned to the point where I’m scared I'll never recover from the symptoms I've gained in this state. High heart rate without arrhythmia (sinus tachycardia), muscle fatigue, momentarily blacking out when standing up (even worse when it's too fast), tremors and losing the ability to balance (especially when intentionally trying). This obviously could be more than just deconditioning, but I've not been moving much, so I’m pretty sure this is a huge factor in why.

Recently I've not been able to sweat, despite the warm weather. Everything I read points to an autoimmune disorder, but my agoraphobia makes me scared to have it investigated.

I’m in my 20s ffs, why do I have to be so mentally ill that I’m now getting physical symptoms?

Before 2025, I was so naive when it came to privacy and data collection. I wouldn't say I was the worst when it came to privacy. For example I hadn't posted my face anywhere public and pretty much have only used pseudonymous accounts everywhere. I'd say my mistakes have been made largely behind the scenes. Tbh I still probably make mistakes as I’m not the most tech savvy individual and I get easily overwhelmed with the amount of information shared in these spaces.

It's clear that pseudonymity or anonymity are being phased out entirely with the formation of digital IDs/profiles on people. It all makes me feel pessimistic and hopeless for the future.

And all for what? To keep companies happy so that they can sell us shitty, useless products? It's all just a complete mess and I’m sick and tired of it all.

I know my best bet is to get offline, but many basic activities that don't require as much thought are so heavily tied to the internet that living a digitally minimalistic life is tough, particularly if you're a depressed person who wants escapism.

I've not been formally diagnosed, but I strongly suspect that I have dyspraxia. Since childhood I've struggled with my fine motor skills. It's why it took me an embarrassingly long time to learn how to tie my laces, and even then, I can only do a very basic knot. As well as this, I eat very messily and have avoided going out to dinners in the past because of it. One time I went out with a girl I used to be friends with to a dessert place, and she made fun of me for not being able to cut my cake. It was lighthearted banter, and she did help me out, but deep down it embarrassed me. I still can't cut my cake without completely obliterating it.

Styling my hair is difficult because it's quite long, and I already struggle with the executive dysfunction and PDA, so having to do stuff that also requires being careful and thorough with the application of fine motor skills really frustrates me. It's why I just run a heated comb through my hair and tie it in a bun a lot of the time. If I need it to look nice, I'll just go to a salon or get a family member to do it.

Another issue I have is processing instructions. Someone will tell me to do something and I end up doing the wrong thing. For example, if someone tells me to grab something off the table, there are times where my brain short circuits and I grab something other than what they've told me until realizing what I did was wrong. And don't even bother with directional instructions, that never ends well. The funny part is that I have a decent long-term memory, but my short-term memory and difficulty processing information makes seemingly basic things a nightmare for me.

Can anyone here relate?

So a few years ago I stupidly used a pseudonym for my PayPal account. Yes, I know it was dumb and that PayPal aren't the type of people to mess with when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I was trying to do it for safety purposes and didn't understand the ramifications until it was too late. I wasn't selling or doing anything shady on this account.

I've contacted support through chat and call and they said the only thing left to do is simply leave the account. But I don't feel comfortable having an account lay dormant forever.

Is there really no workaround for this?

In my case, I'd need jaw surgery, a forehead reduction and treatment for a lazy eye at minimum to improve my appearance, and even then, it's not a guarantee that I'll look ok enough to pass off as average. That's why I find it hard to feel sympathy for those that restrict themselves due to poor styling or certain lifestyle habits within their control, increasing the likelihood they'll be perceived as less attractive. Weight is a tricky one because while it is controllable for most, the means to get to a healthy weight can be difficult for many, especially with other conditions affecting the outcome. I’m currently underweight and found my mental health has been impacting my ability to gain more, given my lack of an appetite and inability to initiate tasks.

But yeah, unless surgery is the only way to lessen undesirable features, I highly doubt you could be that ugly. Some of us even have features that can't be fixed with surgery, I definitely have this issue too.

It makes me sad to think that I need painful surgery with lots of downtime while average or above average people can just live life as normal and their version of beautification doesn't hurt them.

I made a post about my fears of aging as an ugly woman. For the record, I don't believe that women lose worth as we age, but society does. I've seen countless stories of older women sharing their experiences of quite literally being ignored talking to service staff, getting yelled at in the street and so much more. My fear isn't about the romantic/sexual prospects, it's about being treated worse than I am now as an ugly woman who'll only get uglier over time.

I'm 24 and I’ve never got to live my youth. I've been a constant mess for many years and never got to do anything I truly wanted to. Now that youth has passed me by in the eyes of society, I'll never be able to.

Youth is only fun if you're attractive and because many people lose that attractiveness, our value lessens, even more so than as ugly young people. Why am I being painted as negative, doomeristic or even an inc*l for pointing out the reality?

I remember a book by Nancy Etcoff discussing studies showing that men find late teens and early twenties most attractive and that attraction tapers off as a woman ages. There are other studies to prove that it peaks in the early twenties in the eyes of men and it remains that way throughout a man's lifetime. While I don't necessarily care about the attention of individual men, I care that many men treat women they see as undesirable with contempt, and that it will only get worse as I age because I already am invisible due to my ugliness.

I’m tired of people telling me that I’m wrong to feel this way. I know I'm already viewed as expired and I've not even gotten to enjoy my life or begin anything meaningful. I still feel like my clueless freshly 18 year old self from quarantine.

I’m not even 25 yet and it's been constantly playing on my mind that I don't have long left until I’m deemed a worthless hag by society. Note that these aren't my views, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't affect my self-esteem. Why? Because I literally haven't been able to live my adult life so far due to a plethora of mental health issues, and I'm being told it's over before it's even truly begun.

I’m also ugly in the face, so I never got to live life as a young attractive woman. I can't afford surgeries and if I could, by the time I recover, I'll be deemed expired anyway.

Edit: To clarify, I'm not talking about romantic/sexual prospects, I’m talking about the general attitude towards women aging being overwhelmingly negative. I’m aware that many older women live fulfilling lives and can get attention, but the truth is that older women tend to get ignored and dismissed a lot more, even in simple settings like the grocery store. They're seen as less valuable because they aren't youthful.

I'm not on Instagram or TikTok hearing these things. It's just the reality.

Also, if I'm already ugly now, I’m just going to get even uglier as I age, leading to more hostility. The future looks bleak regardless.

I don't believe I fit into either description. On one hand, people tell me I'm smart because I’m reasonably articulate, giving the illusion that I know what I’m speaking about. On the other hand, I've had people view me as stupid (I hate that word), leading some to question if I have an intellectual impairment. This is because I tend to struggle with following simple instructions, cannot hold a basic conversation to save my life unless it's with a medical/mental health professional and I constantly make seemingly careless mistakes when doing tasks on my own.

It's gotten to the point where these perceptions have been negatively impacting me. It feels humiliating having people view you as significantly more or less capable than you truly are. I try to not let it get to me, but it's tough.

I've just been reflecting on the amount of accounts I've made in the past. None crazy or nefarious, at least by internet standards.

Would you be concerned about old accounts you can't delete due to no longer having access to the email/password? I've managed to find a few. Part of me is concerned because I'm trying to reduce my digital footprint, but it's been so long since I've had access to these accounts, and it's had zero impact. So ultimately, how important is it all?

Should I be worried about this? I get that a ton of people create and lose accounts constantly, but I'd like to try and lessen my presence.

I've had an iPhone 11 for 6.5 years and it's on its last legs. Battery health is poor, phone needs to be charged every 2.5 hours, so on. I've also not updated it in a while due to storage, so that's also a concern.

I’m really annoyed because I do like my phone and iPhones in general, but I know I need to upgrade. However, I’m thinking of getting off the Apple train and switching to something else. Apple have been becoming more invasive with their verification as well as blurring private photos and FaceTime calls they deem explicit. I've thought about the Fairphone with e/OS, but it's gotten mixed reviews. I've also seen the Pixel mentioned a lot in discussions about privacy/degoogling because of Graphene OS, but I worry about Google's built in tracking.

I’m a complete idiot when it comes to tech, so apologies if the question is basic. I’m just trying to figure out what to do because I’m becoming increasingly concerned about the state of things.