u/Kaede_did

任意だねそれは。何回目かな。
オーストラリア🇦🇺︎💕︎︎💕︎︎💕︎

強く愛していんのさ

また火曜日に

まずは、ありがとう

https://preview.redd.it/h6gx57usd9eh1.png?width=645&format=png&auto=webp&s=169ea4ef887c18cc3a2895421d7ad6bd10e6ce98

ちゅ～る動画

エンパス？神童？繊細？ギフテッド？サイコパス？MBTI全網羅した日本NIPPON🇯🇵バハマルｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

踏み絵文化とは❓❓❓❤️

立派な精神障害者一級シングルマザーのがんばり物語😭👹🫩🧑‍🔬🤐🥹☺️
（ ひぐらしのなく頃に ）（ 夏🎇🌞🌴🌺✨期c-PTSD）

国家公務員らにまで搾取され様々な文化を学びたがり
支え続けた私σ(ﾟДﾟ\*)こそが今こそ報われても、
良くないかなぁ❓❓❓❓🤔(´・ω・｀)

修正型電気痙攣療法×10…

14歳で既に達観した視野😭

専門医にまで手に負えないのでやるしかないの😭💦

旧：大鬱性障害

気紛れ🐈の バガボンド !!

機能不全家族育ちのアイドル❣️

諸君等にオススメのᑎIᑭᑭOᑎ文化を開示するよ❣️

Never Ending Story.

我がゲド戦記より導き出された回答がこちら‪🙄
‬（☝ ՞ਊ ՞）☝🃏

エンパス？神童？繊細？ギフテッド？サイコパス？MBTI全網羅した日本NIPPON🇯🇵バハマルｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

踏み絵文化とは❓❓❓❤️

立派な精神障害者一級シングルマザーのがんばり物語😭👹🫩🧑‍🔬🤐🥹☺️
（ ひぐらしのなく頃に ）（ 夏🎇🌞🌴🌺✨期c-PTSD）

国家公務員らにまで搾取され様々な文化を学びたがり
支え続けた私σ(ﾟДﾟ\*)こそが今こそ報われても、
良くないかなぁ❓❓❓❓🤔(´・ω・｀)

修正型電気痙攣療法×10…

14歳で既に達観した視野😭

専門医にまで手に負えないのでやるしかないの😭💦

旧：大鬱性障害

気紛れ🐈の バガボンド !!

機能不全家族育ちのアイドル❣️

諸君等にオススメのᑎIᑭᑭOᑎ文化を開示するよ❣️

Never Ending Story.

我がゲド戦記より導き出された回答がこちら‪🙄
‬（☝ ՞ਊ ՞）☝🃏

[removed]

Hey everyone, I'm a 28 yo male with a diagnosis of severe depressive episode (not bipolar, as far as we know), that underwent many different medications and treatments - fluoxetine, citalopram, mirtazapine, venlafaxine, clomipramine, aripiprazole, quetiapine, duolexetine, amitriptyline, pramipexole, lamotrigine, ketamine, rTMS, lithium, and lately phenelzine sulfate. None really had an effect. I also had a bunch of psychotherapies, also to no effect. Thus my parents et psychiatrist turned to ECT, while still undergoing lithium and phenelzine sulfate medication wise.

So far, it has been 12 sessions of ECT - 4 unilateral and 8 bilateral. After - I think - the 4th bilateral session, I thought my head was starting to feel a bit clearer, I was thinking a bit faster I felt. But after that, no more improvement to be had - and my parents have yet to feel any improvement whatsoever, from their point of view. And now that I've discussed with them, I almost feel like I'm regressing ; what little improvement I had feels like it went away.

Basically, my question to you guys is this: is there any improvement to be expected from the last 4 bilateral ECT sessions planned over the next two weeks, and if so, on what specific parts? Will I feel more pleasure? Have more ideas about what to do? Feel less suicidal? Something else?

I'll be seeing the psychiatrist that follows me for ECT on wednesday, I suppose I'll have the answer soon enough, but I was curious about everyone else's experience.

It’s kinda funny, honestly I was doing really good for years. I developed anorexia starting around later single digits and “ending” around late teens. After that I started getting better. I ate more, I didn’t think about it as much, I basically never weighed myself unless for an appointment. I wasn’t super happy with my weight, but i didn’t starve myself, or obsess over calories.

Over the half year or so (I think, I wasn’t paying attention) I lost like — pounds, not intentionally. I had no idea I’d lost weight until different family members started bringing it up. And you’d think this was a good thing, but it’s just brought it to my attention more. The first time it messed me up a little, but I didn’t relapse. After some more family said something it really put it on my mind, but again I tried to ignore it. And mostly succeeded. Recently I had a psych appointment so I weighed myself, and found out I’d lost — pounds. I think that’s when it got a lot worse. Not terrible! But it’s been a decline. Then yesterday, I hadn’t really been eating much the last few days, or at all that day, and my grandma worriedly commented on my weight. Ironically enough, that’s what’s caused me to completely loose any self-restraint. And I only managed to eat something around the AM, and not even because I was really hungry, I just knew I should.

It’s been awhile since being hungry has felt good to me, but lately it has, and it scares me. I actually forgot why I ever thought it felt good for a long time! And I want help, but I’m so tired so so soooo scared of gaining weight again. If nobody ever commented on it, I’d be fine. But now it feels like, because I’m a lot skinnier, I need to stay exactly that weight if not less. I also felt really happy with my body for the longest time, but now it doesn’t feel small enough. I’m also pretty sure me loosing weight correlated with when I stopped taking medication, so now it’s making want to not take it again even though everything got so much worse over time and I’ve gotten suicidal a lot more often.

I don’t know what to do, I want help, but I’m terrified of gaining weight again.

Edit: — is redacted weight and I’ve reworded the numbers