u/Kalachnikov_

I’m really struggling to watch my life pass by and miss out on the best parts of it that abled people can do and have. I always wanted to fall in love and be with a woman who loves me and I can love her equally and spend life together in a relationship, partnership, friendship and marriage all in one but in recent years I’ve come to realise there is no hope for that when living with a disability. I have chronic pain with my disability, it’s hard to get out and do things for long and most activities cause a lot of pain, so even if there was someone who would overlook my disability and love me I probably wouldn’t get to meet them. I’m still young enough to find someone but I know that the chances are so small. I have too many negatives to me for any woman to love, the biggest one being lack of finances. Is there any way at all to be at peace alone and knowing you’ll never be loved?

I am a mid 20’s man, I have had a few decent friends before back when I was still in high school but they all faded away or backstabbed me in the case of my former best friend. My closest friend now is a really great guy and he’s not the backstabbing type but he lives far away so I can’t hang out with him much ever. I’ve had a few girlfriends again back when I was not as run down by this condition, now it’s been 7 years since my last heartbreak and I’ve never had interest from anyone since. If you’re a man with an unfortunate condition and you struggle you have no hope in this whole world. I had a lot of potential, I had strengths physically that would have carried me far in life and I could have had a completely different life to what I have now and I am just watching the time go by helplessly. If I ever try do things in my life I’m reminded by my chronic pain that there’s no way to change my situation. It’s the loneliness and being so unwanted by everyone that hurts the most. I’ve been reduced being something that people aren’t used to seeing and here and there I get a comment about my height. I am tall and that’s usually a good thing but it’s the very reason I ended up with chronic pain from my condition so it’s not as good as it sounds. Aside from those small comments here and there I am entirely invisible. I desire to have a wife and spend my life in love with a woman who loves me equally but I know there’s no hope I can’t provide much at all financially with my condition. I’ve looked at every option. I’ve asked for surgery and been told no and yet that means living in pain for my whole life, surgeons seem to think I’ll have just as much pain even with a surgery and need more surgeries later so I can’t win.

I just want to feel like others and have a normal life without always being in pain and invisible because of it. I want a fair chance like everyone who doesn’t have conditions have in life.

I have a strange disability that effects my life a lot. I’m in my mid 20’s and I have Kyphoscoliosis which is a curve in my spine plus arthritis in my lower back spinal area probably as a result of the curve above. This has resulted in severe anxiety and depression both also diagnosed. I struggle to work due to pain but this condition won’t likely cut my lifespan by much (which is meant to be a good thing but it upsets me) I struggle to be independent much at all and my mother is extremely kind and understanding. She also is my only person who cares and understands me but I am an only child sans she has me a bit later than normal. I’m really scared of when she is gone what I will do and how I will live any sort of a normal life, I won’t have anyone to turn to unless I had a partner which is my next point that I don’t think I’m going to find anyone. In my country your partners income is considered as joint with the disabled persons income in a marriage and so the disabled person gets no benefit with a full time working partner and minimal for any work at all. I am open to dating a disabled woman too of course, someone that understands the hardships it could be a good thing and even just getting by on benefits together would work as I have a fully paid 3 bedroom house left to me in future which is very fortunate. However finding someone seems to be the issue. Ever since I’ve had this condition no one has really been interested in me and I can understand. Men are supposed to provide and I can’t at the moment and very possibly never.
Is it possible to find a loving partner who would look past my disability for who I am? I don’t expect anyone to want to but I would love if it was possible.

I feel quite cheated in life, I know a lot of people like to live a long life even when they have a disability but I don’t have those same feelings. The way life looks for me ahead I don’t want to face it and go through it and be so lonely throughout.

So I’m mid twenties now and I’ve been battling with pain and trying to find options to reduce pain since surgeons have told me I will not be able to get surgery (destroyed my mental health entirely) so I am late to come to try work but I have to try something soon for some money to have at least even if just a little. The issue is I have a lot of pain when doing activities and standing for long periods is impossible with it, the other side of the problem is I despise desk work it is unbearable mentally to be looking at a computer screen for work all day.

Does anyone have any job ideas? I’d consider self employment I know a lot people do that but I’m not very confident so I don’t know. Any helpful and supportive ideas welcome because I need the help.

Might not respond for a while as it’s late I’m going to sleep will see any comments in the morning and thanks for any help that can be given.

I’ve got kyphoscoliosis I can’t work at the moment and I’m mid twenties I don’t know how to be able to live my whole life with this I could easily be 80 and I’ve got over 55 years to go if that is the case and I won’t have my parents for all that time and if I live a long time and have a lot of years with them I really don’t know how I’m supposed to cope mentally with that. I likely wont find a partner and be married because I’m a guy and guys are supposed to provide and have money but with this condition I can’t do much about that.. it all seems very hopeless and I just wish this didn’t happen to me. I don’t know what to do.

I’m wondering if skipping (jump rope as you might know it) is safe to do with kyphoscoliosis? I can’t do a lot of physical exercise, walking ends in pain but also because I have arthritis in my lower back but it hurts in the upper back too but I’ve found that I can do some skipping as it is intense and fast and I want to keep my weight lower and reduce strain on my back as much as possible hopefully to reduce pain as much as possible although I’m sure I’ll still have quite a lot of pain but also for my mental health to look as good as I can. I bounce off my toes so I’m hoping that the bouncing takes any potentially harmful effects out of the exercise.