u/KnowledgeSeeker_EDM

Currently trying to weigh the Pros and Cons of my various surgery options. It feels like such a tough decision.

Although lumpectomy with radiation has the lowest possibility of reoccurrence for TNBC, compared with mastectomy without radiation, (4% vs 10%), I'm leaning towards the mastectomy because I don't freeze, so biopsies are hell, I'm fair-skinned so the likelihood of pain from radiation is greatly increased and because I have dense breasts, I'm more likely to have asymmetry as a result of radiation.

I do like the 4% number better, but I'm worried about how much more painful it will be over the long-term with more biopsies without proper freezing, and more complications with radiation.

On top of it, my tumor is close to the nipple, which means I will have very likely have nipple damage during radiation. Because the skin there is thin, and there are a lot of nerve endings, its likely to be painful.

Also, bcause of my weird "I don't freeze", it also means pain management meds like opioids and marijuana don't work either, so I'm kind of stuck in what options I have to manage the pain.

For others who had to get radiation near the nipple area, how painful was it? If you had the opportunity to go back and skip the radiation, would you?

For background, I met with my surgeon once. In Canada you get assigned a surgeon (if you want surgery for free) or you can pay out-of-pocket if you want a different surgeon. Immediate DEIP flap is not an option here. It has "happened" but is extremely rare. From what I've seen online, the average wait time for reconstruction in the prairie provinces is 3 years for reconstruction.

My first encounter with the surgical oncologist was mostly "are we starting with chemo or surgery first?". I opted for chemo first because wait times for cancer surgery have gone up and I was eager to have something happen to get the cancer out.

I'm leaning towards a goldilocks mastectomy on both boobs. Symmetry reasons mostly, but also because with a mastectomy there is the possibility I won't need radiation.

My concern is, I'm a 30D. I'm not expecting to have a 30D again when I'm done, but I wouldn't mind having something like a breast. Even an A cup would be nice. I'm not picky 😅

Has anyone had a goldilocks procedure for a 30 or 32D and were you happy with the results?

For a bit of background, I am currently undergoing breast cancer treatment. This year is going to suck, but I'll make it through.

My one friend, however, she's not stepping up like I thought she would. I've been there for every crisis of hers and now when I'm dealing with a crisis, she can't handle it.

She called me, two days after I had a severe allergic reaction to the cancer meds and complained about how the government was trying to take her job and how she was going to lose hours and lose pay. She ranted about how bad of an idea it was for the government to take her job and how stressed sher was....and I listened....

She didn't ask how I was doing. She didn't call me back. She just dumped her negative feelings on me and left.

At first I told myself "she's going through a lot, I'll leave her be"....

But a news article came out a couple of weeks later stating that the government wouldn't be taking my friend's job and I was so excited for her. I sent her a screen shot and sent her a congratulations message...and her response was "I was looking forward to working less hours...."

I felt used. I was frustrated. I had been putting her first this whole time. I have cancer. I don't have energy for this....

So I sent her a message and was like "please stop negative dumping on me.....I held back talking to you about what changes were going to happen when I started cancer treatment because you were going through a lot, but I think we need to have chat about what I need"

We made a date and planned a day to chat on the phone. And when I called her to chat she was like "Something came up. We'll chat later". And since then she's only sent me pictures of flowers and birds and "Have a nice Day" gifs...

I'm both mad and sad at the same time. All I want is for us to have back-and-forth conversations instead of her calling me every time she's having a crisis and dumping on me.

My therapist is telling me not to respond to her texts of flowers and birds....and its been hard because I just want closure....and cancer treatment is lonely...but yet my friend it feels like she isn't even willing to hear me out...

I want hear her side of things...but I'm not even sure what good it would do....it just feels sad that after over 20 years of friendship its going to end because I finally had the courage to say "I get things are hard for you, but what about me?"

I had a set of mystery boxes for sale and planned to put out a new theme of mystery boxes on my shop, but the new set got dinged as being a "policy violation".

In the notification sent my Etsy is commented that mystery boxes aren't allowed, but curated boxes are still okay....so I'm a bit confused....

Anyone else encounter this?

I'm hooked to an IV for chemo as we speak and the benadry is messing with me. I'm so high I can barely type. 😅

Which got me thinking about all those kids doing the Benadryl Challenge to see the hat man and/or hallucinate.

How much Benadryl are they taking to see the hat man?

And have many of you have seen a shadow man during treatment?

I have a confession.

Normally, I wouldn't watch this type of show, but for some reason while on active treatment, I can't get enough!

I've been watching Botched. 🤣

It's the one of worst shows, but I can't stop watching.

Today my husband were talking about that kid from the 90s (he was from Edmonton, I think), who was on the poster at most of the schools in Edmonton.

On one side of the poster was the kid all cut up wirh, racoon eyes and staples in his head. On the other side of the poster was him wearing his helmet and smiling.

I know he survived, because he came to my school to talk about his accident, but I was wondering how he's doing now.

I'm also curious how many people remember that poster.

Last week, I had plans to meet up with some friends for lunch and then woke up with a fever on that same morning. I had to cancel and spent two days in the ER...

Today I was like "Hey, why don't we just do a walk on your work break instead tomorrow?", because now I'm feeling better, but they're all busy.

And fair enough. I've tried to make plans twice and canceled twice. Its not my fault chemo is a pain sometimes. And its not their fault I can't seem to make plans right now.

I have another friend who when I was like "Hey, I know you're going through stuff right now, but I'm also going through stuff right now and struggling with my own positivity. Can you please not call and dump all the negativity on me right now?" has stopped calling me altogether.

And another friend who has been busy every weekend. She stopped over for a couple hours on a Saturday, but its almost like it hurts her to see me like this and she doesn't want to stay too long...

I know its tough for everyone. Not just me. Cancer sucks for me and everyone else around me at the same time... I guess I thought it wouldn't be so lonely...

Its no ones fault I can't stick to plans, even when I want to. Its no one's fault that their lives continue even when mine can't. It just sucks. Cancer sucks.

This morning I went to get my weekly blood test and my platelet count is too low.

In Canada, they don't give meds to increase platelet counts, they delay treatment a week.

So my timeline for treatment has been increased by two weeks now.... 😐

For some context, I'm currently in active treatment for breast cancer, so things have been a bit negative as of late. I'm working really hard to stay as positive as possible, but there are still days where it feels like things are overwhelming....

Last night, my husband and I went to see a movie and after we left the movie and on my car door was a yellow moth (Crocus Geometer Moth, to be specific) and then when we arrived home and got out of the car, we found the northern lights putting on a spectacular show over our heads. We stood outside and watched the lights until they died down.

I'm open to the idea of signs or messages, but I'm terrible at interpreting them, so I figured maybe someone on here might have some insight.

Thanks in advice.

I'm dealing with cancer right now and went to Etsy to find a special baseball cap for people experiencing hair loss during chemo.

The seller looked legit, had some great reviews. The cost was reasonable (although it did seem a bit low).

When the item finally arrived, it didn't fit properly (it was too big), but the Etsy seller offers returns within 30 days. Turns out the cost of shipping from Canada to Australia is practically the cost of the hat, so although the Etsy Seller is willing to accept returns, the max I would get back is $5.

Defeated, I went searching online to find another hat option and noticed that the hat with the exact same pattern is being sold on both Temu and Amazon. And the most common complaint is that the hat is too big...which was exactly my complaint!

But when I check out the Etsy listing again, it shows the comment "produced with help from Tonglu Laiping Knitted Apparel Co, China".

I'm not sure if I have a case for reporting it or not. It just makes me a bit sad that I lost $57 on a hat and was not even handmade....

I'd love some advice on whether I should cut my losses or report it to Etsy

Well, I found out I'm allergic to paclitaxel. 😅

Now they have to order me special chemo drugs with a protein that reduces the likelihood of allergic reactions.

Yesterday I spent several hours in the emergency room because my face swelled over night after getting chemo on Monday.

Fun times! My "mild" allergy for conifers has translated to an allergic to the paclitaxel.

On the bonus side, I get a week off chemo so I get recover and so they can order in the special meds, so I get a bit of a break.

I've been noticing some weird interference with my phone's connection to the car through Bluetooth anytime we drive between the 87th Ave and Ray Gibbons Drive exits along the Henday. The audio cuts in and out like its losing connection and sometimes the touchscreen in the car won't work. But it only seems to happen in this area along the Henday.

The weird thing is that I can listen to the radio without any issue, but the Bluetooth connection with the car is the only thing that won't work properly.

Anyone else noticed the same thing?

I shaved my legs for, what I now realize, will likely be the last time I shave them for a while. Tomorrow is my last day of work for what will be likely a whole year.

Next week, I mostly have things like chemo class, a cardiac scan and a dentist appointment, but on Wednesday I decided since my hair is going to be leaving me in a few weeks anyway, I'm going bold and I'm going to a fancy salon to get a haircut I always wanted to try, but was never brave enough to try. But now's my chance!

If I'm going to lose my hair anyway, why not go out with a bang!

I'm struggling to decide between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy right now. I have a slight preference to the lumpectomy, but its mostly because of shorter recovery time and maintaining sensation.

From what I can tell, in Canada, DIEP flap surgery at the same time as the mastectomy is not a thing. Can anyone from Canada chime in and let me know if it's possible to do both at once or not? If they could do both at once, I think I would opt for the mastectomy.

Thanks in advance, everyone

I've been going through a lot the last two months. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I've been struggling with the anxiety from that. But because of it, my social anxiety is getting unmanageable somedays....and today feels like one of the worst I've had in a while.

I didn't sleep well last night and this morning I went to get on the bus, came in through the front door of the bus and headed towards a seat. A woman who was coming in the side door of the bus was also looking at the same seat. When I got there we reached the seat at the same time and I apologized and was going to try move past her to grab a different seat, but she rolled her eyes and turned away. I felt bad for upsetting her, but she walked off in a huff before I could explain she could have the seat.

I moved into the seat and as I was turning around to sit down, an older gentleman was walking past. The seat a had was in the "priority seating" for older people or people with reduced mobility at the front of the bus, but I didn't notice until he was walking past and felt bad that I didn't give up the seat to him (even though there were clearly other people who were around my age, also in the priority seating who could have moved out of the way).

The rest of the bus trip was spent feeling guilty and thinking everyone around me was judging me for taking the seat and then not giving it up when someone who may have needed it walked past.

What was most annoying is that I know if I had slept better last night, I'd be able to talk myself out of my social anxiety spiral. I know my anxiety is being irrational....

Having social anxiety and not being able to sleep is extremely frustrating sometimes....

Waiting for treatment has been awful. The extra tests have been awful.

But my bone scan and the lymph node biopsy show no indication that the cancer has spread. Which almost make it all worth it.

Treatment hasn't started yet, but it looks like the only cancer is the tumor itself, so its a small win :)