u/Legitimate_Tea_4118

hey everyone!

i (21m) want to preface this by saying i'm not diagnosed with anxiety, never have been. as a teenager i dealt with a lot of social anxiety and would experience anxiety attacks, which i did see a therapist about for a while. i'm no longer in any kind of therapy as things have become much less severe in recent years.

however, i would say that i do still struggle a lot with overthinking and dramatizing things in my head. i tend to anticipate the worst possible outcome at all times, sometimes causing me to withdraw. this happens basically all the time - at work, around friends, at the store, or when i'm at home just thinking about scenarios.

i don't really notice how extreme it can be until i talk to someone about it and they point it out. it's kind of become a running joke among my friends that i'm dramatic about everything. even when i know i'm being dramatic, i can't seem to turn it off. in my default state, my mind is constantly racing with possibilities and worries about the most minute things. it's like it's impossible for me to be chill about anything. i'm always on edge, and everything feels like a big deal to me.

earlier, i told my partner that i wanted to go to a store to buy a specific product, which should be no big deal at all. but i immediately started to go back on that idea, because: what if they don't have what i'm looking for? do i just go in, look around and then leave again? isn't that weird to do? even worse, what if they do have it, but it's out of my budget range, but i felt too awkward to say no and had to buy it? because how would i even decline them politely? wouldn't i come across as rude? etc etc

my partner, being amazing, of course reassured me that anything i could do in that store is normal, and it's something people do every day, and none of it is rude. this is a regular kind of conversation we have - my partner is very patient and supportive, yet honest and will assert their needs if necessary, so i know they don't mind me asking for reassurance this way. however this time, they quickly suggested that maybe i should try to see a psychiatrist about this kind of thing or even get on anxiety meds.

of course, my partner isn't qualified to know what is or isn't actual anxiety, but just the suggestion of it kind of shook me. i guess it never seemed that bad to me, but for them to suggest i should see someone about it, it must be worse than i thought. i really thought these were just worries most people had about things, and i just happened to speak them out loud.

now i'm also starting to worry that i've been annoying or irritating towards my partner with these constant worries. i know for a fact they would tell me if i was being overbearing, but at the same time.. as i'm typing this i'm realizing i'm thinking about the worst outcome AGAIN. is it really not like this for everyone?

anyways, i just don't really know how to go forward with this now. i feel that my issues aren't severe enough to actually seek help for, and that i can fix the problem myself if i just try hard enough. but then again, i've been trying for what feels like forever, and it's never really gone away. it also doesn't feel right now to continue to pester my partner about it. i know where was nothing but good intention and care behind their statement, but i still can't stop thinking about it now.

should i look for psychiatric help? am i being dramatic and this isn't a real problem? do i just need to get it together myself?

hey everyone! sorry that this became kind of long, i can't ever be short in text lol. so:

TL;DR: i overthink things a lot and it's affecting my daily life. after expressing some of my worries to my partner, they suggested i might be better off seeing a professional about it. i'm not sure if i am (or they are?) being dramatic and exaggerating, or of i actually should.

and to be clear i am NOT!!! asking for anyone to diagnose me. i just want to get some input from others who might've been in similar situations!!!

i (21m) want to preface this by saying i'm not diagnosed with anxiety, never have been. as a teenager i dealt with a lot of social anxiety and would experience anxiety attacks, which i did see a therapist about for a while. i'm no longer in any kind of therapy as things have become much less severe in recent years.

however, i would say that i do still struggle a lot with overthinking and dramatizing things in my head. i tend to anticipate the worst possible outcome at all times, sometimes causing me to withdraw. this happens basically all the time - at work, around friends, at the store, or when i'm at home just thinking about scenarios.

i don't really notice how extreme it can be until i talk to someone about it and they point it out. it's kind of become a running joke among my friends that i'm dramatic about everything. even when i know i'm being dramatic, i can't seem to turn it off. in my default state, my mind is constantly racing with possibilities and worries about the most minute things. it's like it's impossible for me to be chill about anything. i'm always on edge, and everything feels like a big deal to me.

earlier, i told my partner that i wanted to go to a store to buy a specific product, which should be no big deal at all. but i immediately started to go back on that idea, because: what if they don't have what i'm looking for? do i just go in, look around and then leave again? isn't that weird to do? even worse, what if they do have it, but it's out of my budget range, but i felt too awkward to say no and had to buy it? because how would i even decline them politely? wouldn't i come across as rude? etc etc

my partner, being amazing, of course reassured me that anything i could do in that store is normal, and it's something people do every day, and none of it is rude. this is a regular kind of conversation we have - my partner is very patient and supportive, yet honest and will assert their needs if necessary, so i know they don't mind me asking for reassurance this way. however this time, they quickly suggested that maybe i should try to see a psychiatrist about this kind of thing or even get on anxiety meds.

of course, my partner isn't qualified to know what is or isn't actual anxiety, but just the suggestion of it kind of shook me. i guess it never seemed that bad to me, but for them to suggest i should see someone about it, it must be worse than i thought. i really thought these were just worries most people had about things, and i just happened to speak them out loud.

now i'm also starting to worry that i've been annoying or irritating towards my partner with these constant worries. i know for a fact they would tell me if i was being overbearing, but at the same time.. as i'm typing this i'm realizing i'm thinking about the worst outcome AGAIN. is it really not like this for everyone?

anyways, i just don't really know how to go forward with this now. i feel that my issues aren't severe enough to actually seek help for, and that i can fix the problem myself if i just try hard enough. but then again, i've been trying for what feels like forever, and it's never really gone away. it also doesn't feel right now to continue to pester my partner about it. i know where was nothing but good intention and care behind their statement, but i still can't stop thinking about it now.

should i look for psychiatric help? am i being dramatic and this isn't a real problem? do i just need to get it together myself?

hi everyone!! :) recently i applied for a position at my favorite coffee shop in my city, and i actually got the job!! i'm so excited and can't wait to get started.

but i am also REALLY nervous. i've only worked office jobs before this, never done anything like this. i have 0 experience. i don't even have a coffee machine at home. this shouldn't be a problem as this coffee shop is near a university and so it trains a lot of young people like me from the ground up, and i am super excited to learn everything, but still, it feels like a disadvantage.

also, i'm a rather shy and introverted person. the interviewer pointed this out saying although they think i suit this position and they want to give me a chance, i'm going to have to work on my confidence and on being more forward to ensure good communication and a productive workflow. they said this would come to me naturally given some time, and i really believe i can do it, but i still have some worries and anxieties that i won't be able to handle the pressure.

of course i knew all this applying to the job, and i still really want to do it and think i can learn a lot from this kind of work. though now that i actually know i'm starting soon, it's all becoming more real and i'm starting to get worried that maybe i've made a mistake.

sorry if i sound dramatic lol!! i tend to overthink things. all this to say: if anyone has any advice for me for when i start working, or maybe someone has felt a similar way and can speak from experience, i'd appreciate any replies greatly!!! thank you for reading <3

hi everyone! i hope this is okay to post here!

tldr: my partner has expressed that they enjoy being dominated in a sexual context, with no expectation or pressure, but i really want to be able to give this to them. i am a bit shy and don't have much experience, so i'm looking for advice as to how to go about this and gain the confidence i need.

my partner (22 ftnb) and i (21 ftm) are in a very happy and healthy long distance relationship of just about a year now. we visit each other and have sex frequently, each time learning more about each other and exploring new things. it's always been great. we've also recently started having phone sex more often recently.

now for a bit of background: before this relationship, i identified as asexual for a long time. this changed because i felt attraction towards my partner like i never had before, and they made me feel comfortable enough to explore my sexuality further for the first time. though they have always assured me that they would have no problem being in an asexual relationship if that's what i wanted. so there is no pressure in this at all.

anyways. because of my lack of experience, when we started dating, they were the one taking initiative and guiding me and essentially being on top. i had very little confidence and didn't know what i was doing, so i appreciated not having to be the one taking the lead. back then.i assumed this would be our dynamic going forward.

over time, as we've become much more comfortable around and honest with each other, that dynamic has changed as well. so as it turns out, my partner is a huge bottom lol. they LOVE being told what to do and being handled roughly, which i think is really hot. i've simultaneously been discovering that i do enjoy being dominant over them in some way as well, and knowing that they like it boosts my enjoyment infinitely as well.

i just don't know how to do it well and how to fully take charge in the way my partner wants me to. i WANT to be dominant and assertive towards them and take on that role. i want to make confident moves and let them feel submissive and taken care of. i enjoy exploring this side of myself in an intimate context a lot, and it comes to me more easily with each time. however, in reality, i'm a rather timid person and definitely not a leader. what i want to do the most is please them however they want me to, while they would prefer that i just do what i want with them. so i'm not sure how to go about anything that demands more initiative from me. i often start overthinking that they won't enjoy what i do, even though that's explicitly what they're asking me for.

i'm very sure i can get there in my own time, but until then, i just wanted to ask for some general advice on how to top, how to gain confidence, maybe even some practical advice for what to do during sex or when dirty talking.

i also want to make it very clear again that i'm asking out of my OWN motivation, they are not at all pressuring me to do anything i don't want to do. i know they would be just as happy to have sex without any power dynamic, or no sex at all for that matter. i just really want to try my best to please them in a special way, and continue exploring this aspect of our relationship.

thank you so much for reading, and i appreciate any and all replies!!

hi everyone! i haven't found any rules on nsfw topics on here, so i hope this is okay to post!

tldr: my partner has expressed that they enjoy being dominated in a sexual context, with no expectation or pressure, but i really want to be able to give this to them. i am a bit shy and don't have much experience, so i'm looking for advice as to how to go about this and gain the confidence i need.

my partner (22 ftnb) and i (21 ftm) are in a very happy and healthy long distance relationship of just about a year now. we visit each other and have sex frequently, each time learning more about each other and exploring new things. it's always been great. we've also recently started having phone sex more often recently.

now for a bit of background: before this relationship, i identified as asexual for a long time. this changed because i felt attraction towards my partner like i never had before, and they made me feel comfortable enough to explore my sexuality further for the first time. though they have always assured me that they would have no problem being in an asexual relationship if that's what i wanted. so there is no pressure in this at all.

anyways. because of my lack of experience, when we started dating, they were the one taking initiative and guiding me and essentially being on top. i had very little confidence and didn't know what i was doing, so i appreciated not having to be the one taking the lead. back then.i assumed this would be our dynamic going forward.

over time, as we've become much more comfortable around and honest with each other, that dynamic has changed as well. so as it turns out, my partner is a huge bottom lol. they LOVE being told what to do and being handled roughly, which i think is really hot. i've simultaneously been discovering that i do enjoy being dominant over them in some way as well, and knowing that they like it boosts my enjoyment infinitely as well.

i just don't know how to do it well and how to fully take charge in the way my partner wants me to. i WANT to be dominant and assertive towards them and take on that role. i want to make confident moves and let them feel submissive and taken care of. i enjoy exploring this side of myself in an intimate context a lot, and it comes to me more easily with each time. however, in reality, i'm a rather timid person and definitely not a leader. what i want to do the most is please them however they want me to, while they would prefer that i just do what i want with them. so i'm not sure how to go about anything that demands more initiative from me. i often start overthinking that they won't enjoy what i do, even though that's explicitly what they're asking me for.

i'm very sure i can get there in my own time, but until then, i just wanted to ask for some general advice on how to top, how to gain confidence, maybe even some practical advice for what to do during sex or when dirty talking.

i also want to make it very clear again that i'm asking out of my OWN motivation, they are not at all pressuring me to do anything i don't want to do. i know they would be just as happy to have sex without any power dynamic, or no sex at all for that matter. i just really want to try my best to please them in a special way, and continue exploring this aspect of our relationship.

thank you so much for reading, and i appreciate any and all replies!!

the obvious answer for most would just be to use dental floss. however, i had a permanent wire installed behind my lower and upper front teeth after getting my braces removed. this means the floss cant get inbetween my teeth as it's blocked by the wire.

i've tried using small interdental brushes, but they never really seem to fit between most of my teeth. most of the time, all i get out of it is stabbing my gums and making them bleed while still not getting into the gaps.

i've been trying to take my dental hygiene more seriously, but i was never taught how to clean my teeth beyond brushing, so i feel a bit like an idiot with unclean teeth at the moment. any help is appreciated!

hi! i'm asking this out of curiosity, because every time my partner and i meet up, it's when either one or both of us are off work entirely for that period. so there's a lot of time to spend and a lot of fun to have together. but i'm curious how things might change when transitioning to a life together, where you both work and go about your day-to-day life while living with each other.

so to anyone who has closed the distance or had a comparable experience: did the dynamic between the two of you change at all? has something changed in how you spend your time together? has any conflict arisen from the switch, or was it a smooth and natural transition? do things ever feel dull like they havent before?

tldr: when i feel angry with myself, or otherwise stressed and overwhelmed, i feel like i need some kind of outlet, and i also get an urge to feel physical pain in some way. i end up hitting and biting myself. so i'm looking to see if anyone can relate, and what other ways there are to cope with my emotions.

now for more context:

hi everyone! i hope this is an okay post to make and abides with this subs rules on self harm.

i've been feeling overwhelming urges to give myself some physical pain, mainly presenting in the form of biting or hitting. this happens most often whenever i feel frustrated with myself, like when i know i've done something wrong and have reason to feel guilty, or when i feel stupid about something i said or did.

i have gotten urges like this for a long time, though i've only given into them on rare occasions and in minimal ways. i also used to struggle with self harm (cutting) 5+ years ago, which was one way i coped with these urges, but generally i am doing much better mentally nowadays, and i would never go back to that.

the reason i'm writing this post today is because i feel like it's been coming to a head. i've been really stressed with work, exams, personal things. and i've been finding it hard to cope with the stress and anxiety it's been causing me. when it's all been too much and too overwhelming, ive bitten and pulled on my clothes and my blanket, punched and thrown pillows, torn papers apart, and tried using fidget toys such as stress balls, though they never seemed to give me enough of a release.

yesterday, i was feeling very angry with myself because i haven't been able to get myself to study for an important exam that's coming up. this left me feeling very guilty, frustrated and pent up, and feeling like i needed to do something. i needed an outlet, and i couldn't have stopped myself if i wanted to. i ended up hiding under my blanket, hitting my thighs with my fists repeatedly and biting my arm as hard as i could. the physical pain seemed to soothe and ground me for the moment. i also felt that i deserved the pain, so by hurting myself i was just "getting what i deserved", which made me feel less guilty.

this outburst is scaring me a bit. i thought i had grown out of acting on the urges, but i just couldn't hold it all in this time. and i'm worried it will continue to happen because i've allowed myself this once. i don't actually want to cause myself harm, while at the same time, it feels like the only thing that makes sense and helps. i don't know how much of it is a reasonable and useful way to cope, and when it becomes a concern.

so i am wondering if anyone here can relate or has experienced a similar sort of thing. what is your experience, what causes it, what has helped you? i would love to hear about some realistic, healthier ways to cope with emotional distress. thank you for reading!