u/Lijey_Cat

I have a chronic health condition that requires me to go to a specialized clinic for regular, intense medical treatments. The treatment itself is exhausting and requires me to be in a calm, relaxed state for it to work properly.

​Recently, a newer nurse joined the small team at my clinic. She is incredibly rigid, always in a hurry, and treats me like a box to check off on a to-do list. Personally, I am a very easygoing person. I don't like confrontation at all, and I actually prefer to build bridges and make friends with my nursing staff. So when she started treating me this way, it made me sad, but I just put my head down and tolerated it because I'm not there to start drama. But during my last appointment, things went too far.

​The harsh clinic fluorescent lights were triggering a severe migraine, and I politely asked if we could turn them off until it was time for my treatment to start. She flatly refused, making an excuse that the doctor wouldn't like it. But that ended up being completely false—the doctor didn't even arrive for 40 minutes, and the charge nurse later told me that of course turning off the lights is no big deal. Because I was forced to sit under those harsh lights for nearly 40 minutes alone, I got sicker and sicker, my actual treatment was completely disrupted, and I woke up in excruciating pain.

​To make matters worse, as soon as the procedure was over, she rushed me out. I use a wheelchair and was still heavily medicated, groggy, and in an altered state from the drugs. Instead of ensuring I was safe, she basically pushed me out into the lobby area and left me entirely unassisted. My specialized medical transport ended up falling through, and I was stranded. I had to take an Uber home as a vulnerable woman on drugs with a really creepy driver who drove like a nut job.

​Once the medication wore off, I decided I’d had enough. I have never once raised my voice or spoken down to the clinic staff—I always remain polite and just stick to the facts. So, I sent a long, polite email to clinic management explaining the breakdown in patient safety.

​Here is the problem: I didn't realize that messages sent through the patient portal route to a general nursing inbox first. The nurse I complained about read the email before management even saw it.

​The partial good news is that the charge nurse intervened and promised to handle my care directly whenever possible. But there are no guarantees, and this is a small clinic. This nurse now knows exactly how I feel about her, and I am anxious about the potential awkwardness if I get assigned to her again. No one from the clinic has actually apologized to me for leaving a sedated patient in a wheelchair stranded, either.

​I am proud of myself for speaking up, but I'm just trying to figure out how to process all of this. If she does happen to bring up the email with me, my plan is to just politely state, "I'm uncomfortable and don't wish to have this conversation with you," and ask to talk about something else. I'm just a little bummed that I can't be completely guaranteed a different nurse in the future. No one should be dumped off like a piece of trash and left to fend for themselves when they are vulnerable.

I don't know, for so long I've just felt like I've lived in a world that wasn't made for people like me. I just want to get treated nicely like everybody else does. Once you look past my silly tics and quirks, I'm not that bad of a person. I just make goofy faces and fidget when I talk.

Here's to another day of pretending to be a neurotypical person so that I can function in society better. Some days it would just be nice to be accepted the way I am. What are you going to do? Eat some couscous salad I suppose.