u/Limp_Inevitable1739

I am happy since the last time meds were changed

Saving someone while sacrificing myself would bring me peace, before my death and after it. This world doesn't bring me anything - only pain and sorrow. I feel useless, doing anything costs me so much, and I hope to get better, but it's not gonna happen, is it? I'm just gonna rot while I'm still alive, a slave to this sick world. In which nobody wants me, but this act will bring me happiness. But thta's not gonna happen is it? A slave, slave, slave, for a disease I never asked for.

An oasis for the thirsty

A building for homeless

An eureka for the knowing

Lands for the kings

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That's what you were to me

Battling for the future

Future for this kingdom

A valiant knight fighting

Against the evil

With wolf by his side

Giving him strength

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He fought and he fought

His strength was wearing

The wounds ached and ached

But the wolf was aside

Protecting with his aura

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But the blood soaked into wounds

And it was turning me mad

So I decided to leave

Find a nest of the evil

I knew, I knew from the anger

I would kill the wolf

Not the kingdom

What did it do for me?

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I said goodbye

He didn't understand

As I marched forward

Toward the demon nest

It was cold

Cold untill I couldn't feel

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There they were, the fiends of war

Laughing at my fate

I looked at them with fury

And leaped forward to attack

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I fought and fought

Cutting ones head

Cutting others legs

But they kept coming

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The heavenly dog was nearby

I sensed his will

He didn't support me

When I needed the most

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Wounds stained again

With demon blood

I sprinted towards

My companion

My friend

My fullfilment

There he layed, all blodied

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No more demons from the nest

I didn't even notice

It's done, the menace is gone

Years passed in the town

Some knew about what happened

Some cheering

Some scheming

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And I want one thing

I just want my dog back

Because it's so cold down here

Everything's gone mad

I mean economy, trade, millitary, separatists, natural resources, foreign claims etc

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The regions I want to learn about are: EU (Germany, Poland, Czechia, Romania, UK, France, Spain, Ireland, Finland), Russia, Ukraine, China, Central Asia (I know it's probably not alot, maybe someone can explain their situation in the comments, I'm just curious), China, The Middle East, Africa, Oceania, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Indonesia, Indochina, India, Pakistan, US, Canada, Mexico

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I know it's alot, I just want to save this post to order the books later

It was tough choice, but seeing a 2,5/27 on my test really broke me. 2 years gone, down the shitter. I didn't mistreat it. I actually tried to pass. Did what was expected of me. Benefit of the doubt, it was Calc III, so not really an easy feat. But I failed math. I feel like my child who I protected for years has died. Math really was my passion. I have no idea why the paper was so low graded.

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After schizophrenia diagnosis I became more and more dissalutioned with math. When I took Olympiad in Math and Physics, I gave up after 2 years of trying. With physics, I was atleast close to succeding. I had curatorial competitions, had a finalist from 3 of them, including 2 from math and 1 from physics. Young me would be dissapoinred in me, not that it matters, that boy is long gone.

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I'm changing up to material engineering, as long as there is less math involved, i don't know, I have to talk about this with a consultant

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I just wish I could lay for a million years and not worry about anything