u/Lost_Bluebird_5196

so back when i was around 10 or 11 i was just getting into alt music and culture, and i was becoming kind of NLOG in the process. i thought of myself as NLOG (never said it out loud tho) and prided myself on it. eventually, i learned how toxic it was to say i was "NLOG," and to reject that mindset. now, i cringe so hard to think about that time of my life.

so far, i've only ever been taught that "pick me girls" are the way they are because they want male validation, but i'm also wondering if it's possible if male validation isn't your motive (which was the case for me).

clear signs of my NLOG mindset back then:

• was completely averse to most things "girly" (esp the color pink) because i saw them as "basic" and shallow
• hated mainstream pop music (something i considered "girly" at the time) with a passion
• prided myself on being NLOG
• thought of all women as being shallow and materialistic, and as automatically equating to drama

outliers from usual NLOG behavior:

• i didn't want male validation, most likely just to feel good about myself (school was really stressful at the time, and i was struggling with my body image)
• none of my friends were guys, they were, and still are, all women

your answers and insights would be greatly appreciated. thank you!

i am the only queer person (omnisexual, panromantic, and mostly closeted bigender, AFAB) in my all-cis, all-straight friend group. quite a few of my friends have stated, on one occasion, that they only believe there are 2 genders. on said occasion, i was trying to explain to them the meaning of omnisexuality, since i'd recently come out to them as omni. i was like, "so basically, you like all genders-" and one of them asked smth like, "all genders? but there are only 2 genders, so then aren't you bi?" (prior to this occasion, i had experimented with bisexuality as a label.) 

on another, later occasion, one of them again asked if i was bi. since i didn't want to go through the same discussion i had with them before again, i just said i was bi.

ever since then, i've only been TRULY out online and to my immediate family. for fear of being told that "there are only 2 genders" and therefore feelings that my gender identity and sexuality is invalidated again, i've decided to remain closeted to my friends until we graduate high school (which i'm starting this year). 

i'm stuck on what i should do.

for you to take into consideration:

• none of my friends have ever made openly queerphobic comments/statements. 
• they're not toxic. in fact, they're far from that. we've been friends for almost 2 years now, and i really think we have something great going.
• yes, there are other queer people in our school, but most are from the older grades, with whom i am too painfully introverted to interact with 😭

i know this was a pretty long post but thank you so much for your time!

P.S. on an unrelated note, is there anyone in here who's a fan of the band muse?? ✨

so i found the lyrics of nightshift superstar to be quite...interesting (can't unhear "i cream again" 😭), anyone wanna share their interpretations of the song?