I ain't simping.
No homo.
I am a guy who likes girls.
But really.
He's smooth as hell and a trickster with a heart of a gold. He's so smart that he comes up with a plan literally NOBODY(including himself) can see through.
He is also brave enough to be 'the bad guy' while he is not. And he doesn't even really explain himself unless it concerns his safety.
The sole reason why ENTJs are attracted to INFPs is because ENTJs need 'mindless spineless goons' he can 'take care of and lead'
ENTJs are always looking to be a 'leader' while they are not cut out to be one. So instead, they try to form a 'clan' of spineless goons so that he can become a king of the kingdom he had formed by gathering spineless losers while also using and exploiting them.
However, INFPs LOOK like they will be tolerable and manipulatable and exploitable. So many ENTJs approach them. Thinking they are easy baits.
Only to be stopped at one point because of immovable stubbornness OF INFP. And then they go ape shit and toxic.
This is where I walk away. Or just fend him off until he walks away.
Yeah, honestly, they are typical narcissists who are a wanna-be charismatic leader, but don't have it in them. So they look for 'easy prey' with whom he can play 'king and servant' game.
All that 'being blunt' and 'being pragmatic' is just an excuse to nitpick so that they can take control.
I mean, EVERYONE can nitpick. I suck at football but pretty sure I can nitpick Ronaldo's football skills.
Viggo he himself said his 'last impossible mission' was how his mob got so big.
Which means until then, John was serving a small time mob.
Like, you don't really use it most of the times.
You only use it when the other guy attacks you.
Because with enough skills, you can ALWAYS connect the other guy's weakness to his attack. The smallest logic can do it.
Let's say I know someone who has history of getting kicked out of his last job because of harassments. When he tries to take a jab at me, I can always go like 'haven't you been like this at the last job and got kicked out?'
Or someone has bad reputations among his colleagues, or got divorced.
'This is why you got divorced, man. Stop.'
'This is why you got bad rep among your colleagues.'
A cross-counter that is enough to shut the other guys' mouth.
Whatboutism is a great weapon. You don't wanna abuse it. But you can use it at the right time.
Like you don't really have romantic interest in this girl. You are her friend.
And yet she friendzones you so hard like, infront of everyone, and whatever I do to deny that I had interests in her would make me look like a cope.
Some would pity me. Some would laugh at me.
GOD DAMN IT.
Like, it doesn't have to be a grand mission for your life.
As an Infp-t, I am kind of....'mushy' and soft. But also have a will of steel when it comes to fulfilling my purpose. Almost driven, really.
Probably why I excelled and was respected at any kind of workplaces
while kinda became all mushy and kind of a pushover when it comes to 'personal' dynamics.
So I kind of 'trained' my mindset.
'How about I have a purpose wherever I go?'
It doesn't have to be a big one.
'Just enjoying' isn't good enough. That just makes you mushy.
Make sure my friend has fun.
Make sure my date has fun.
Make sure my date gets to see that fireworks.
Make sure you make a good impression on these people.
Make sure you get to hook up with a girl.
Make sure you make the others have fun.
With these kinda of 'driven' purpose, you know when to cut losses and avoid emotional dramas.
If you cannot find your purpose in a group or a place, don't go.
Pragmatic.
Treating it like work.
(It slightly marks you enjoy things less though)
I have never been that 'cutthroat'. I always counted myself as an empathetic one.
However, there were very few times when I had that 'cutthroat' attitude. Apathetic, kinda narcissistic, selfish, self centered, lying, manipulative, always MINE first. MY interest, MY pride, MY reputation. MINE MINE MINE. I was kinda abusive towards the others too.
But being like that kinda....how do I say this? I literally feel something is 'off' with my brain.
Like something is blocking a part of my mind. A similar feeling when someone gaslighted me. A portion of my intelligence just 'turned off'
It feels uncomfortable and a little bit numb. Also very very unhappy.
So I stopped being the asshole. Gotta say, being like that actually gives you a lot of perks.
You get your seat(metaphorically), you don't really get pushed around. You don't get bullied easily.
Although some DO bad mouth me and belittle me.;but it ain't so different when you are not being an asshole. There is ALWAYS that guy who tries to tear at me.
Anyway, being like this gets you exhausted. Like you are constantly in fight or flight mode.
Always pissed off and paranoid.
So I stopped.
I needed to vent. Anyway that's it.
First of all, no. I don't defend pedos. They are sick bastards.
But however, as an Asian, I find it quite weird how the Western is soooooo overprotective about children literally EVERYWHERE.
Like, in media, in fictional worlds, and even in prison where convicts LOATHE the pedos.
Ironically many of these famous sick crimes and atrocity towards children happen in the Western worlds. Including Epstein files.
It's like watching a male feminist sexually assaulting women. Hypocritical while being overly obnoxiously obsessing about 'protecting women's rights.'
They kick down, they kiss up, but they don't even realize what they are doing. Really, they sincerely DO NOT get what they are doing is morally wrong.
I mean, this may sound weird but if someone is a cutthroat who is willing to get his hands dirty WILLINGLY and CONSCIOUSLY, he may be a bastard, but at least he is true to himself. I actually have weird respect for those guys.(doesn't mean they would be tolerated)
But most people make themselves flying monkeys and enablers subconsciously and go along with the absurdity.
They subconsciously KNOW what they are doing. They just didn't even embrace it. Unlike the bastards.
His master plan is to kill the queen at present so that the sand would never be made.
Not to do the right thing, not to save the world, but to save his own skin, to save himself from the consequences HE had caused.
Like, if you are a brown nosed ass kisser, I got nothing to say. You are doing it on purpose.
But let's just say you are 'well intentioned' people who are 'trying to help'. Just dunno who is the bad guy.
The rule is simple.
Just DON'T do something the other guy dislikes.
DON'T try to help them reconcile.
DON'T try to get them to talk each other.
DON'T invite someone Joe dislikes when Joe is holding something.
DON'T talk about Joe to someone he dislikes.
DON'T try to fix anything unless some kind of crucial mission is ahead.
It's that simple. Something many people just don't get.
That is why you stay vigilant all the time.
CONSTANT VIGILANT!!
Heheh Harry Potter joke.
Anyway, most of 'good people' tend to operate only on information based on surface level. They don't 'think' about the context or dynamics.
Honestly, I find them frustrating. I have been a victim, and also an observer. Most flying monkeys try to 'fix' problems and when manipulators abuse you, the problems become YOU. Like someone stated below.
Anyway, the flying monkeys try to 'help' by 'calling out' the problems like 'hey!! The OP felt this way! He took your remark this way!' Which actually embarrasses the victim.
Or some of them just get frustrated and go 'geez....can we just get on with this and stop being pissed off about it?'
They don't try to see the REAL problem. They just operate on surface level. Honestly, it would be better if these people just shut their mouths and keep their heads down.;which they don't.
'Bad' flying monkeys are so much better. They are obvious ass-kisser.
Anyway, this is why I lay back when I am an observer. I don't try to 'fix' or 'calm' people down. I call out when I see through the manipulator's intentions.
'He meant it in this way and tried to cover it up with good intentions'
Or when I can't, I just try to de-escalate the fight by 'parting' the groups.
I don't react or try to carry informations for either side. I just go 'welp, you guys don't get along. Let's part ways.'
I even observe 'compliments' because sometimes it can be a back handed one or worse;trying to make a scapegoat feel bad.
When someone causes a 'problem' in a passive way, I don't try to call them out openly. I go to them privately and ask them what's going on.
And when I get the reason why, I just make sure they don't get in each other's way while observing BOTH sides cautiously.
But most people are not like this. I may sound like a smart-ass but really. Most people just get frustrated or blame someone so easily. They call out the others so easily and think the problem is so simple WHILE IT's FREAKING NOT!!!!!
And I AM THE NEUROTIC HYPER SENSITIVE ONE, for god's sake.
Now this ain't some hypocritical bullshit like 'be good! You will he rewarded!' Shit.
Being 'honorable and moral' actually gives you a lot of perks.
Remember that there is more than one assholes.
Say, there are two enemies. Joe and Carl.
Carl decides to screw Joe up in very disgusting and low way and frame it upon me.
Joe freaking HATES me.
However, even Joe would actually ACKNOWLEDGE that I wouldn't do such low things. Like that, being moral and honorable actually has its perks.
Your acts are justified. What you hate, people would see as 'something bad' because why else would you antagonize something? You ARE a good person.
Now you don't have to be a saint. You don't have to be good all the time. Just give your self a character 'that makes the right choice most of the time' while also 'sticking to the moral code'.
You CAN actually make some low moves and get away with it.
it ain't saying much.
Like 'eh I will let that slide'
Or
'Eg, let's give him another chance even though it is obvious his intent was malicious.'
Most people 'tolerate' red flags more than once;which enables the assholes to roam free.
It gives them power.
I have learned that putting assholes in place WHENEVER possible is the right way.(or at least walk away the second you sense the 'malicious' intent.)
Like, once you see Joe being a manipulative douchebag being toxic, taking my/someone else's work, harassing someone without a good reason.
You are done with Joe.
You do NOTHING with Joe.
You do NOT join Joe no matter what.
You kick him out or put him in place asap.
If it's impossible to do these, well, run away as soon as possible.
May sound petty, but it was a good way to shut off the toxic people while also being in control of the situation;most toxic people CANNOT help but to be toxic.
Oh, did you just do that? Bye.
Oh, did you just say that? Welp, go away.
Oh did he just do that? Let's not join him.
One 'mistake' is good enough to judge people if your standard is right.
Like, 'lashing out' while in argument? Yeeeah why the hell not.
But purposefully stabbing you in the back or being maliciously belittling or abusive? Welp, bye.
Better be safe than sorry.
There are so many people in the world. Tolerating toxic people is not necessary.
They still try to suck off of you indirectly even if abusing you face-on isn't fun anymore.
On the internet, they talk about narcissists as some kind of fantasy based vampire who only suck off of a man's emotional energy.
Some kind of a fantasy monster who literally gets stronger when faced with aggression.
And they recite all this stupid based 'advices' about 'just keep ignoring! Just keep ignoring!'.
Lmao.
They are not some monsters. They are ill people. When faced with firm aggression, they back down. They don't only feed off of 'energy' of people. They also try to feed off of practical 'interests'.
Money, reputation blah blah...
Do you think assholes wouldn't be able to suck off 'interests' from the 'grey rock' people? Oh yeah they still do.
Grey rocking bullshit is like 'just play dead when there is a bear nearby!'
The bear is still gonna mess with your body until you are not playing dead anymore. Just dead.
Fortunately, narcissists are not 'oh so powerful' bears.
Here is my thing.
Once the narcissists get the upper hand, they go ape shit.
So you don't wanna give them the upper hand no matter what. That is, IF you found out someone is a narcissist.
It's okay if they hate you. It's not as if they won't abuse you if they don't.
This tactic is when you have the upper hand though. I have seen many narcissists go quite soft once they realized they don't have the upper hand.
I mean, walking away would be the best tactic, but let's say you are stuck with them.
Politically or psychologically, you never give them the upper hand. You don't let them do what they want to do. You draw boundaries OUT LOUD.
You keep them in place. Being a little bit of a control freak over a narcissist is a good tactic.
They get loud, they get pissed off, you still assert whatever advantage you have against them. You don't give them a SINGLE advantage you don't have to.
I have done this when I was in a manager position at my work.
When I actually 'let' the narc have his advantage, they go APE SHIT and do self destructive things they couldn't even imagine when they didn't have advantages.
When I decided to assert every single advantage I have upon him, he went COMPLETELY nice.....
aaaaaaand decided to pick on other guys with lower ranks.
He got reported and got moved to other department.
My point is, he was actually trying to eat ME up even when I had the higher ranks because at first, I was quite 'grey rocky' toward him.
This is what I get for NOT doing anything, thus giving the other guy the advantage.
Only when I decided to call him out, belittle him, humble him, he turned in to a Homelander without a power.
So yeah, NOT doing anything about the narcissists actually gives them more power and more recklessness.
It does good for neither side.
I have realized that Many narcissists who do drastically dangerous abusive things only do those things when they have the 'upper hand'.
Abuses, harassments, exploitations. And I haven't seen a single narcissist who do these things then they DON'T have an advantage.
They are the nicest people in the world when they DON'T have the advantages. Just keep em that way.
Not doing anything about narcissists when they try to do gain advantage is like
Doing nothing while a violent alcoholic grab for a drink.
Someone has to take the bottle away. Before they get drunk and do something evil.
And by sticking to these rules, I can daresay, I haven't been 'used' or 'manipulated' BIG time yet.
When you go for something, you hold back, you be slow, you think. Especially when someone goads you into doing something, I go like 'I see...'
And just sit back. Most people show their true colors when you slow down. They try to blackmail you, coerce you, intimidate you. That's when you know.
I mean, the worst you can get by 'slowing down' when you go for something is losing that chance, no?
However, when you run away from something, I usually draw the line at the first sign of red flags. I don't NEED any 'rational' or 'logical' reasons to back me up.
Something is off? Well bye. I mean, The worst you can get by 'walking away' from fishy things is...well, dunno. Hurting the other guys' feelings?
This may sound like a passive advice, but it worked like a charm at least for me
Like, when someone is trying to 'weasel' their way out by justifying themselves when admitting their wrongdoings, mistakes. I go crazy and 'interrogate' them.
Like crazy interrogation.
What do you mean?
But then you would have done this?
But you knew what would happen?
Otherwise you wouldn't do it?
You are lying?
Why?
Same goes when I try to carry out genuine moral behavior, but someone tries to 'barge in' and take the spotlight or 'taint' my genuine intention.
Like, I was going to help Joe anyway but then Carl barges in and openly 'pressures' me into helping Joe. So that it would look like it's Carl who is helping Joe. And I would just look like his mindless goon.
This is where I usually go ape shit. I mean, I don't even have to get any reward for it. But someone else 'tainting' my intention? I go freaking crazy like ESTJ crazy.
I have my experiences of 'jumping up' the status. Like getting into good college or getting into Lawschool.
And some of the 'friends' I have known for a decade suddenly bared teeth at me and tear at me.
One of them actually mocked and jeered at me when he realized I failed the bar exam last year.
Seriously, he called at 10 pm and acted dumb like 'how was your bar exam?'
When I said I failed he mocked me like crazy. But he got over excited and slipped the fact that he already knew;thanks to another 'friend' who slipped that to him behind my back.