u/Lower_Plenty_AK

I live with a domestic narcissist ("Alida") whose daily chaos is making me physically ill due to my own chronic people-pleasing and trauma responses.Through the lens of Indra’s Net, I realize I have been passively absorbing and reflecting her toxic energy instead of holding my own center. I am trying to view her as a krodha-guru (wrathful educator), but my nervous system is failing. The true war is in my head against my own conditioned urge to appease and submit.I need to urgently cultivate the fierce, unshakeable energy of Vajrapani. Specifically, I want to embody Alidhasana internally—using that asymmetric, grounded warrior lunge as an energetic boundary and a diamond-hard (vajra) mental anchor to stay in the present moment.How do practitioners in this sangha apply Vajrayana view and deity energy to cut through the panic of a toxic environment without bleeding out their own lung (prana/wind)?

Years ago before I knew about this stuff i was at my boyfriend's house. I used his bathroom, I could hear the music, hear him cooking. Then a different song came on abruptly and all cooking sounds ceased. The bathroom looked different, older. Old wallpaper design but new material. Old sink design but new material. It was weird. I left quickly and the moment I opened the door the old song was playing and sounds of cooking resumed, he did not stop cooking at any time and the song did not seem to change for him. It was as if I flashed back in time but was in the same location, just backwards in time. The bathroom immediately looked like it was supposed to as well when I looked back. New design, different modern wallpaper, just as I remembered it being when I entered.

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What do you know about the arcturians? Thank you 😊

What are some of the most useful diagrams he shares?

Especially when it comes to releasing negative beleifs.

Slowly shifting seems better, more predictable.

I think im doing it. That i beleive somethings true then find out the next day theres some new science that backs it up or old science just now being accepted.

But also....something I've noticed that I dont want to change. Things going on inside of me appear in dreams, then in real life and serve as a way to reflect on my inner beliefs.

Why do bad thought loops have to happen? To give us the opportunity to have free will? To simply serve as an option or as the weights we mentally lift to perfect our thoights in order to maintain a reality.

Zero point energy, thats what they kept from us. So dieing African children, pollution. Yeah. They are scared to come clean. But also....lets be real, if you dont have to work some of us will find our own purpose in life while others will eat themselves to death. Far more than you know would chose to eat themselves to death due to the toxic system they were raised in harming their psyche.

So two groups will naturally form. The angry and unable to move on, they will likely cling to old ways, wall themselves off, put on VR headsets and spiral into dictatorships that use coercive breeding programs to keep the population going.

While others will take a radically different path outside, free from fear. Its a radical world change and people who have powerful positions naturally resist that.

It will seem like Armageddon even to most people who can adapt, at least for a time. So hang in there, its a ride. But thats all it is. Things will settle. Bubble cities may pop up. But other things, beautiful things, will also appear.

I seem to have a 'poison arrow' in my life. Not just one person but regularly I seem to find myself in relationships with friends who seem to be .... unwell?

Example. My mother in law, when confronted not by my words but by the reality of her daughters antisocial behavior, will attack me and say im a bad mother for various reasons that to me show exactly where she went wrong with her own children. I will refuse to speak to her when she is all worked up, yelling, attacking me verbally. Over time this pattern has left her isolated not just from me but many others.

Example. A friend of mine whom I have maybe 3 good memories of goes on and on about how wifi is dangerous and how im exposing my kids to poison via wifi (she lives isolated, I live in town). I have told her I dont mind her concern but that concern on repeat is jist anxiety and that I want to talk about pleasant things once in a while. She said that was annoying.

Example. My sister in law will accuse me of being out to get her if I ask her to disinfect the areas where she's putting medicine on her sick reptile, on MY kitchen table. So she eventually had to be banned from the kitchen for putting liquefied mealworms in a open container in MY refrigerator and trying to hide that fact.

What parable fits this situation that seems to me similar and to happen repeatedly to me. I have been thinking of it as a poison arrow parable or a poison cup. That I can try to interact with them but that once the sediments of poison at the bottom of their cup get stirred up I should walk away and let them sip their poison cup on their own so that their karma can educate them rather than me trying to do so.

Is this a good parable for me or....no? Maybe the poison arrow is that I even care at all after I walk away and I need to pull out the arrow of feeling like their problems are in any way my concern. Care taking what is a perfect example of a life in service to their karma and education, tho it may be a painful lesson, they obviously need to learm this. Maybe by having anxiety over their sad isolated situations is my own arrow. Maybe their situations are perfect and I cant expect them to stop being overly defensive, anxious or antisocial when I myself am acting as if their feelings of isolation from almost everyone in their life is a problem. Idk how else to explain this. Any parables that can help??

Looking for the best place/price for a natural star saphire necklace or ring (blue or black)

Through synchronicity and aparently related yet old interests of mine I didnt know we're related, Abraxas keeps coming up in my life.

Any information would be welcomed on the subject.

Thank you

Today my husband whom I have two kids with revealed that he thought giving birth felt like dry heaving. I thought he was joking. He was not. Lmao. They have no idea what its like to be us.