u/MafiaNephophile

Don't ask for a TLDR, please, I'm simply trying to get something off my chest

So, I (18F) am an only child, so for me, my cousins are my siblings, they are my brothers and sisters. And among them was my favourite brother (let's call him S), 3 years younger than me, my chacha's son, and we had a falling out.

When I was 14 and he was 11, I had to go to my family residence for a day, because me and my parents had to go somewhere far by road, and it was to be our pit stop. For context, my grandmother had passed away 2-3 months back and my grandfather had been keeping more ill than usual.

I spent the day playing with S and his younger brother. After we kids had had dinner, Papa sent me into my grandfather's room (the other side of the courtyard) because he was old and ill and should not be left alone. I settled myself on the bed opposite my grandfather's, and started scrolling YouTube on Papa's phone, and after a few minutes, S entered. He settled himself beside me and leaned upon my body. It was just another casual mindless moment, until he spoke, "Didi, aapse ek baat bolu, aapko pasand na aaye toh aap jhidak dena par kisi ko btana mat" ("Sister, I want to say something, if you don't like it, you can scold me but don't tell anyone"), and I thought he was just going to say something silly.

He asked to see my chest. For a solid minute there was a rushing sound in my ears and I wasn't quite sure of what I heard, but realisation caught up to me. My answer was a straight no. Then he asked if he could atleast touch, again, no. I should've done something, beat the shit out of him, but I was frozen, and confused, almost in a trance-state. All this when our grandfather was half-asleep 2ft. from us, right in front of our dead grandmother's portrait. I left the room with an excuse to drink water (I don't know why I made that excuse, for the first time in my life I was afraid of my little brother).

After the longest panic attack of my life, where I sat debating whether I should tell or not, because on one hand I could break the family, on the other I'd suffocate myself, I finally told. (During the panic attack in the bathroom, he came outside the door, asked me if I was in, and I held my hands clamped over my mouth, letting no sobs through). At first, I went to the kitchen to tell chachi and Mumma (there was also a didi, our neighbour, in there). Chachi flatly went into denial but Mumma came with me, got a confession out of him. When I told this to our fathers and bade papa, my voice was so loud and shaky and enraged they didn't understand what I said at all. Later, Mumma told them.

That night, I was reprimanded for not beating him senseless, he too was scolded. Later I was also reprimanded for saying what I said in front of that didi, someone not in the family, because izzat was important. But after that night, it was like that never happened, like everyone forgot, but I never did.

There have been points where I have doubted my sanity, whether it really happened, or whether I am the psychopath who made up all that about my younger brother. But it did happen, and it wasn't an isolated incident either. From the past few visits back then, he had been weirdly touchy with me, hands straying to my chest, sometimes almost dryhumping me, and the best part, I ignored it all and simply shifted my body away, I gave myself the classic excuse "baccha h, isse kya pta kya kr rha h" ("he's just a child, how could he possibly know what he's doing"). The fact that I chose to give myself excuses until there was no ambiguity left still disgusts me. Sometimes I feel guilty and complicit in his actions by staying silent.

I want to hate him so bad, I try so hard, and I fail so spectacularly, I can't help but be the elder sister, I can't help but still love him a bit. He was my favourite brother, I had loved him for as long as I can remember, and yet I was betrayed. Questions trouble me still, how was I a bad sister? And since everyone pretends to have forgotten, I still have to send him a rakhi, the irony of it lmao. Every rakshabandhan, I get reminded of what happened, of the fact that four years later he still hasn't apologised, and the fact that no one cares.

That was all, I wanted to get it off my chest, because people think that not a lot "happened" but I still feel betrayed. And please don't tell me to forgive him, he has gone on to become a worse person, and yet hating him hurts all the same.

Thanks to whoever read it full. Please forgive if any typos were left there. And no I didn't use AI.

Orientation mein gye the kyaaa? M nhi gyi thi toh someone tell me kya hua usme.

So... I have to move out in a few days for college, and oh my god am I stressed and ultra-sad. I'm worried about how I'll live on my own for the first time, and what kind of people I'd be meeting there, literally can't even sleep because of it. And I'm also really heartbroken about leaving my parents, as I'm their only daughter, and even thinking about what they'd do throughout the day when I'm not there makes me wanna cry. Anyone else in the same boat? Also, please tell me some interesting or amusing or downright "why tf would you know this?" facts.

So, I'm new here, only been here one day, and I used to live in Dehradun previously. Since I'll be going off to college, I'll be living here only during vacations, so is there anything fun to do here in Kotdwar? Any places to hangout, any good cafes, anywhere for entertainment? I'm sorry, I'm literally clueless about this town, hence these questions.

About cafes and hangouts and stuff, please let me know places which are safe/family friendly, because I'll be going places with my parents since I have no friends here.

For context, I'm 18F.

So, this may be corny, but I really need to get off my chest how much I love this city.

So... This is my last night here, after six years of being in Dehradun, and I feel overcome with emotion. I came here a child, and I leave an adult, this city has been my teenage, the place where I really became the girl I am.

Here, I first learned what a fun school life feels like, what having friends looks like. My hobbies I cultivated here, with the twinkling lights of Mussoorie looking over from my window. Doon is where I grew out of my shell.

I do love spring, so of course spring in Dehradun is my favourite. The pleasant weather, gorgeous skies (well, that's all around the year), birdsong, and the breeze, how I loved it all. And Octobers in Doon, there was no better month, than when the city came alive, the fairs, lightings everywhere, school functions, felt as if joy was in the air.

Obviously I have had complaints, and I have held contempt against this place more times than I could count. And yet, every single time, I fell in love, over, and over, and over.

In my head are scrambled memories, and half made plans which never came to fruition. All those things which "ek dinn toh krenge" only for the day to never come.

But I leave this home only with my body, for as long as I am concerned, I still belong from Dehradun.

And yes, I'm still going to lurk on this subreddit, rokk sako toh rokk lo (don't, please).

How dare this Uttarakhand Sarkar talk about Harela so much while simultaneously cutting roads for no reason. They tout development but cannot solve existing, actual problems. Jo retirees' dream tha woh toh humari jawani aane tak mein hi tabah krdiya. Ffs.

Toh dekho hua kya, me (18F) is currently berozgar, and krne ko kuch nhi h mere paas, saare competitive exams khatm hogye, school over hogya and shit, toh thodi zindagi mein manoranjan ki kami ho rakhi h, which is why I did the stuff I'm about to shed light on.

So, 1-2 mahine pehle m exam-prep ke liye thodi bohot telegram GCs mein thi, and unme se ek group mein se hi ek ladka tha and humlog casually DMs mein aagye. Matlab koi "intentions" wagerah nhi thi, it was like a one-and-done type of chat. But anyway, we sort of talked over the next few days, again, pretty platonic, except the guy was flirting a bit, but I didn't address that.

Toh phir kya hua ki m telegram delete krke chali gyi thode dinn ke liye, and hum regularly toh text wagerah krte nhi the so maine usko kuch bola bhi nhi waise ki m ja rhi hu. When I come back, bhai ne chats clear krke mujhe block kr rakha tha lmfwaow, matlab audacity dekho yaar. So anyway, maine bhi return mein block krdiya.

Then, thode dinn pehle I noticed GC pe uska message and I saw that I was unblocked, toh berozgar aur bored toh m hu hi, maine socha clarificaion maang ke 2 gaali deke phirse block krdungi isse. Lekin yeh phir naatak krne lga ki "maine ni kiya block, and "tumhe hurt hua sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry............", toh I was also like ki dekhte h kitna chalega charade, so I started playing along. Abhi bhi we weren't texting regularly, but kal aise hi kuch toh hum baat krre the and he started FLIRTING, not just flirting but FLIRTING. Maine phir baad mein usse pucha ki were you being fr ya phir bas aise hi kuch bhi bolre the.

Apparently flirting is lil bro's hobby, and he was "just kidding" (like yeah buddy, you're definitely not a sad pathetic desperate fukboy). So obviously, I give back as good as I get, and once again in the morning I find...... drrrrruuuuummmroooooollllsss....... CHATS DELETED.

And bhai I wasn't even shocked (I pretended that I was), just a bit disappointed, game jaldi khatm ho gya, but then he pulls out the absolute classic "ono parents phone lere h tumko block krna padega, wait krna mera uwu"

Toh ab dekhte h aage kya hota h, I was hoping ki college jaane tak manoranjan krungi isse (and don't get me wrong, im not someone who "enjoys playing mind games", woh toh saamne wala manipulative h toh uske maze le rhi hu).

Same as title, I still didn't get my mail, and I'm getting worried

Quick Note: this post is written by my friend but is being posted by my account as she doesn't have one on Reddit, the post is in first person referring to her as "I/my".

Hey everyone,

I am confused regarding my DU preference list for psychology. I need advice on how to rank these specific options:

• Kamala Nehru College: BA (Hons) Psychology
• LSR, JMC, IPCW, Gargi College: BA Program (with Psychology as a major/combination)

I know Hons is generally preferred if you want to pursue a career in psychology. However, LSR, JMC, IPCW and Gargi have incredible overall reputation, campus culture, and networking.

Is it worth sacrificing the "Hons" degree to get into a top-tier college like LSR/JMC for a BA Program?

For context, under both courses I am going to pursue a 4 year degree.

Quick Note: this post is written by my friend but is being posted by my account as she doesn't have one on Reddit, the post is in first person referring to her as "I/my".

Hey everyone,

I am confused regarding my DU preference list for psychology. I need advice on how to rank these specific options:

• Kamala Nehru College: BA (Hons) Psychology
• LSR, JMC, IPCW, Gargi College: BA Program (with Psychology as a major/combination)

I know Hons is generally preferred if you want to pursue a career in psychology. However, LSR, JMC, IPCW and Gargi have incredible overall reputation, campus culture, and networking.

Is it worth sacrificing the "Hons" degree to get into a top-tier college like LSR/JMC for a BA Program?

For context, under both courses I am going to pursue a 4 year degree.

I'm here, still at the river's turn,

And am become my own supplication

To spring's first rain, and to all you'd said

About waiting, and waiting, Darling, all in vain;

And yet you know I'll let this be

Water under the bridge... Our bridge on the creek;

This afternoon amber is meek, but scorching me

None like your eyes in a shafted sun, that I have seen;

Pluck me a wildflower, I'll pick you berries,

How we did on our traipses, huddled against the breeze;

Fool, I'm still here, right here, tottering on

The river rocks, hanging on the lake's rails,

Though I do no longer dip so far back

You couldn't pull me back to you again;

And now it is sunset in my pathetic waiting,

Sky's long since been clear but a raindrop lingers

Tracing my cupid's bow... Come wipe it away

Just like you used to, my pleonastic love?

[it's kind of a rant too, so sorry]

So... I recently graduated high school (class 12th), and like most students of my country gave a bunch of entrance exams, and surprise surprise I have nothing to show for so far. The one exam in which I was confident of scoring well (I was scoring decently in mocks without any revision, and I revised before the main exam) and getting my dream institute also went poorly, and now I'm on the threshold between having something and losing my chance this year. To be honest this entrance exam fiasco is really weighing on me, and my class 12th exams were also checked badly (nationwide scam), resulting in scores far lower than expected, so that also pulls me down. These bad results have made me almost apathetic to studying because even when I worked hard there were no results to corroborate. And it actually hinders me from studying, my days go by like a blur just thinking about these results and I realise that I didn't study for days.

I've been on a constant downfall for the last two years, somewhat like a burnout that doesn't go away. I almost physically crave studying and doing numericals, but when I sit down to do it I keep getting distracted and really stressed, and I procrastinate, then get more stressed. When I am able to study, however, I love it, but the problem is it's very rare.

Even now I desperately want to study but due to the aforementioned reasons and also the fact that all exams are over I can't. What do I do? Please help.