u/Main_Confusion_8030

I don't mean taking time off. I mean going to break during the episodes. Why does Scott insist they take a break every twenty minutes or so?

Not a complaint. I've just always wondered.

Both forms of stimulants leave me feeling aggravated and on edge. Even on a low dose.

I also don't feel my thoughts slowing down. I am more effective at "getting things done" and staying on task, but my mind is no less scattered and noisy.

Is anyone in the same boat and have you found something that works?

Of course I'll be speaking with my psychiatrist about other options but not for several weeks.

I'm in my 30s and have historically tried to manage my ADHD with no medication. I am okay at it, but would love a medical tool to assist in quieting my mind and focusing better without my mind wandering so much. I also have OCD, which might be relevant.

Person A owns a plot of land.

Person B pays to build a home on that land (with written agreement).

The house is no mansion, but it is nice -- it (and the land) are very sellable. 2 storeys, 4 bedrooms, beautiful condition, built in the 90s to a very high standard.

Who owns what?

My understanding was that for Person A to fully own the home, they would need to pay Person B out the value of the building itself, which would need to be independently valued if there was no agreement on price. Am I incorrect?

EDIT: this is in Victoria if that matters.

I understand a lot of you are going to think this is funny, or that I'm asking because I WANT an erotic massage but I'm disguising it. I'm going to politely ask you not to make those jokes as I recently had a horrible and traumatic experience with unwanted sexual contact and I do not want to risk that again.

I really just want to find a massage place near me that takes walk-ins, where I know sexual services will not even be on offer, let alone pushed on me when I'm not expecting it.

When it happened, the person was so pushy -- as if it didn't occur to her that I DIDN'T want it. So I'm guessing everyone who walked in there went there for sexual services. But how did they know? Is there a tell?? Conversely is there a tell that a massage place definitely does NOT offer that?

Or do they all???

I wish everyone could just be up front about it. I'm just a traumatised autistic that wants a massage.

EDIT: seems from the comments that there's no foolproof method, no secret sign, that makes it clear-cut. So I will just have to avoid all walk-ins, always. That sucks, as someone with chronic pain that flares up unexpectedly. All of this is dumb. In a sensible world it would be openly advertised and totally clear from the outset what everyone is offering and receiving.

I've been tasked by my therapist to come up with three figures from fiction, representing the ideal PROTECTOR, NURTURER, and WISE FIGURE.

PROTECTOR is easy. I chose Aragorn. Some other options presented themselves to me as well, so I'm spoiled for choice.

WISE FIGURE is also easy. If Aragorn was predictable, it won't shock you to hear I picked Gandalf. Again, I have some other options to visualise when I feel like it as well.

I cannot think of an ideal NURTURER. There is no figure in fiction or history or my life that I can think of that helps me conjure the feeling of "nurturing".

So please, hit me with the figures you can think of that give you the feeling of nurturing. Who comes up for you?

I'm doing visualisation work with my therapist after months (years really) of resistance. I have a lot of feelings about it but I think it's useful work.

I've been tasked to come up with three figures from fiction, representing the ideal PROTECTOR, NURTURER, and WISE FIGURE.

PROTECTOR is easy. I chose Aragorn. Some other options presented themselves to me as well, so I'm spoiled for choice.

WISE FIGURE is also easy. If Aragorn was predictable, it won't shock you to hear I picked Gandalf. Again, I have some other options to visualise when I feel like it as well.

I cannot think of an ideal NURTURER. There is no figure in fiction or history or my life that I can think of that helps me conjure the feeling of "nurturing".

So please, hit me with the figures you can think of that give you the feeling of nurturing. Who comes up for you?

I've attempted to look this up, but I'm a financial idiot so need this explained like you would explain to a child.

I am likely to receive a TPD (total permanent disability) payout this year. The claim is in progress. The payout would be paid directly into my super.

For disability reasons, I can be granted access to my super early (I'm in my 30s). But my understanding is that I'd be significantly taxed on it.

What I really want to do is use it to buy myself an apartment. Somewhere to live where I won't be beholden to landlords or awful housemates. Just somewhere safe.

Questions:

1. Can I put this amount effectively towards buying property, without getting taxed so much that it totally fucks me over?

2. I reckon the payout will probably be about 80% of the value of a place I could see myself living. I'm on the DSP. Do I stand a chance at getting a loan to cover the remaining 20%ish, or would it be an instant no from any lender because I'm on the pension?

I will be seeing a specialty accountant about this once I have the payout, but I want to start putting together a long-term plan, because my housing situation is dire and I really want to see some kind of future.

Thank you.

...Paul is telling his story about Sam Neill getting stuck in Tower Video and they're all talking about how much they love him.

RIP Sam Neill. As an Australian we love to claim him but we know he really belongs to NZ.

You can be as vague or specific as you like. On any topic.

I'm curious to know if one thing stands out for some of you like it does for me.

For me, what stands out is the importance of feelings. Of FEELING feelings. How much you can learn from them. How much they offer. How much richer life is when you let them in. How life, at the end of the day, is just being able to feel feelings. A year or two ago I would have written that off as nonsense, as woo-woo. I would have rejected it because feelings were too big and too painful and too scary. But now I see it. My relationship with feelings is totally different, and so I feel totally different.

If there's something that comes to mind for you, I'd love to hear it.

My soulmate dog, a golden, died four months ago. She was fifteen and the best creature that has ever lived.

I will get a new dog eventually, but I can't get one right now for several reasons (one of which being that I'm not ready).

In the meantime, I could really use some time with a golden. I miss my girl terribly, and there just isn't anything like a golden for healing a broken heart.

If you have a golden in the abovementioned areas, and maybe you take them to the dog park sometimes and wouldn't mind meeting up with a dogless stranger there, or even would be OK having me walk them every so often (I'm not charging for this, it's for me), drop a comment below. I'm mid thirties, masculine presenting NB, and happy to prove I am who I say I am so you don't have to worry about dognapping.

The thing nobody tells you about trauma is also the worst thing about trauma.

And that's shame.

One of the things that happens to you, when you go through something terrible, is that a belief plants itself deep inside you: the belief that you deserved what happened to you. You are bad and wrong, you deserved it, and you deserve to suffer for it. This rarely makes it all the way to conscious thought. It plants itself just below the level of cognition. You don't know you believe it. You just believe it, the same way you keep breathing without thinking about it. That's shame. The opposite of self-esteem. Everyone has a bit of it; traumatised people have a LOT of it.

Faith is very traumatised. We know some of the details, and what we don't know is likely to be even worse.

When Faith stakes Alan (the Mayor's quivering assistant, remember him?) in that alley, that shame crystallises. It goes rock-hard. See? Told you that you were a piece of shit. Now you're a murderer, too. From then on, she figures, why not join up with the big bad? Why not murder a volcanologist? Angel, too, and why not Buffy, and all her friends? It's what a piece of shit would do. You already killed Alan. It's not like you can go back.

But she does go back. Do you know the strength of character it takes to turn around from that? I do. It can't be measured. She redeemed and rebuilt herself from the hardest, darkest, loneliest place imaginable, without even the comfort of self-belief or self-esteem. (All she had was little bit of borrowed belief from Angel -- shows how far a little external support can go.)

Faith's story resonates with me a lot. I get emotional thinking about it because I know how hard it is to turn your life around when every cell in your body believes that you're worthless garbage. And I didn't kill anyone. But Faith? She's a multiple murderer who turned on her only friends and tried to help a demon end the world. And she came back from it. It makes her one of the strongest characters on the show, and I believe it's why she was chosen as the slayer in the first place.

I won't remind you what happens. Stop what you're doing and go listen back to that episode, specifically the threeture.

Hardest I've laughed in a while. Up there with the great Threedom moments.

For the last two years I’ve made “healing my trauma” my special interest – and treated it like a starving man at all-you-can-eat buffet. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s been worth it. I feel truly different inside to how I did two years, a year, even six months ago.

The following is an itemised list of everything I’ve tried, and how well it’s worked for me. It’s a list I would have LOVED to have two years ago, so maybe someone else will find it useful.

Important note: this is not a list of instructions! What’s worked for me might not work  for you, and vice versa. Above all, what’s helped me the most is keeping an open mind (or, more accurately, thinking most of this is bullshit, but trying stuff anyway).

• IFS (INTERNAL FAMILY THERAPY) - 10/10
  • I only got to do it for a few months before that therapist fell ill and stopped seeing patients, but in that short time it unquestionably laid the foundation for all the progress that followed. That’s why it’s first on the list. It opened the door to parts of myself I had lost or buried to shame and fear. It allowed me to slowly but surely fall in love with myself again. 
  • If the homework (or culty language) puts you off, my therapist did not use a lot of jargon or any strict protocol. It was all very emotionally driven. I didn’t have to learn what “Exiles” are or whatever. She just helped me discover, communicate with, and understand different parts as they came up.
• ASSORTED TALK THERAPY METHODOLOGIES - ANYWHERE FROM -7/10 TO 7/10
  • My bad therapist did lasting damage (through ignorance, not abuse). My good therapist provided me my only safe space in the world, keeping me alive in the worst period of my life. In providing this safety, she helped me be brave enough to face difficult truths (i.e. neurodivergence diagnoses). 
  • CBT and ACT messed me up – though it’s hard to know if it’s the methodologies or the psych I was seeing at the time. Schema I never really understood, but my therapist herself was wonderful.
• EMDR - 2/10
  • Simply bounced right off me with no noticeable effect. My therapist thought I was too dissociated at the time. It might work better now, though I think I’m achieving similar things in different ways.
• AuDHD DIAGNOSIS AND EDUCATION - 10/10
  • I have a very different relationship with my brain now than I did two years ago. 
  • My Occupational Therapist is very helpful in this area, helping me learn how to work with my brain, not try to control it. I am benefiting from supports I never would have thought of before.
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE - 7/10
  • I have LOTS of thoughts about the whole “where does trauma live – the body, or emotional learnings in the mind?” question. Suffice to say, your nervous system doesn’t know WHY you feel tension; whether it’s because of emotions like stress, or because of physically sore/tense muscles. Treating the tension by any method will make a dramatic difference to how you feel both physically and emotionally.
• MDMA ASSISTED THERAPY - 5/10
  • Only one session. It was lovely! But not sure how much lasting effect it had. Would probably be very good if done repeatedly.
• KETAMINE ASSISTED THERAPY - 4/10
  • Did it for about 5 weeks. Interesting, but not much effect. The ketamine helps lower the defensive walls which makes it easier to verbalise and process more difficult things with the therapist. But I was already learning to do that without the medication.
• CANNABIS (used recreationally) - anywhere from -5 TO +5
  • I’m defining “recreationally” as “to feel good”. It can be to escape bad feelings (not helpful) or to reward myself to a pleasant, restful night (helpful IN CAREFUL MODERATION).
• CANNABIS (used therapeutically, under prescription and with intention) - 9/10
  • Cannabis Assisted Therapy: I’m new to this, but it’s having a noticeable and lasting effect after only two sessions. My therapist’s methodology is VERY somatic – she gets me to locate tension in my body, and instead of releasing it, staying with it and seeing what comes up. The results are quite profound.
  • The first time I had an IFS breakthrough, “met” a whole tribe of parts at once, and experienced the feeling of self-love, I was dosed with THC (and also in the middle of a shame spiral, which then bloomed into that profound experience).
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE + CANNABIS - 9.5/10
  • Unbelieveably good combination.
• MICRODOSING (PSILOCYBIN) - 2/10
  • 3 months, tried various dosages. Pretty much no effect. It did seem to have a profound effect on about two days (I felt strong and capable!) but the rest of the time it either did nothing or made me feel sleepy.
• rTMS - 3/10
  • Honestly, I don’t think the TMS did anything for me at all. But going to the clinic multiple times a week during my worst period meant I wasn’t completely deprived of human contact, and the nurse was very kind and supportive, which I really needed.
• ANTIDEPRESSANTS (VARIOUS) - 4/10
  • Kept me alive, but also kept me stuck. It made things tolerable, which meant I tolerated things longer. If you need them, use them. But if you think you’re ready to take next steps, it might be worth a discussion with your doctors/therapists.
• FINDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE - 8/10
  • My life collapsed when I lost all my friends at once, but in hindsight, those friends needed to go. I’ve spent two years making new friends, and it’s slow – even when you make a wonderful new friend, getting to that really nourishing intimate stage takes a long time. But every step in that direction is rewarding and healing.
• RADICAL VULNERABILITY - 9/10
  • No, this doesn’t mean oversharing to everyone. It doesn’t mean being open about your trauma, but secretly using it as armour (“I’ll tell you how much I’m suffering, but only so you’ll be nice to me”). That’s what I thought vulnerability was. 
  • Actually, vulnerability is allowing yourself to say (or think, or feel) the thing you’re really afraid of saying (or thinking, or feeling). It’s also sending the email without spending 35 minutes softening and second-guessing the language. It’s communicating a boundary, or hurt, or fear, to someone you value. It’s communicating affection to someone you’re afraid to scare off. It’s bringing your realest self to the party – because if your real self is unwelcome, then it’s the wrong party for you.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to be with the parts that are suffering, instead of avoiding or burying them, even though suffering is hard and painful. Vulnerability doesn’t mean suffering more, it means allowing yourself to fall in love with those parts that are suffering.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to feel emotions even if you don’t understand them. I spent a year listening to podcasts about grief, even though I didn’t have anyone I was grieving, and I had no idea why everyone talking about grief resonated with me so much.
  • Vulnerability is a SKILL, and it takes time and practice to grow. It’s not a switch you can flick, so don’t beat yourself up or think it’s a character flaw if (when) you’re not great at it straight away.
• FIGHTING FOR SUPPORTS - 7/10
  • I’m on disability, so affording all of this has been impossible. I’ve found assistance from charities, government agencies, and local community organisations. It’s all very demoralising and frustrating and stressful – especially when support is taken away, which just happened to me two weeks ago. But it’s ultimately worthwhile if it allows you to access useful support. Also, sometimes you find a really nice organisation and helpful people who do everything in their power to help you, and that heals your relationship with humanity a little bit.

For the last two years I’ve made “healing my trauma” my special interest – and treated it like a starving man at all-you-can-eat buffet. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s been worth it. I feel truly different inside to how I did two years, a year, even six months ago.

The following is an itemised list of everything I’ve tried, and how well it’s worked for me. It’s a list I would have LOVED to have two years ago, so maybe someone else will find it useful.

Important note: this is not a list of instructions! What’s worked for me might not work  for you, and vice versa. Above all, what’s helped me the most is keeping an open mind (or, more accurately, thinking most of this is bullshit, but trying stuff anyway).

• IFS (INTERNAL FAMILY THERAPY) - 10/10
  • I only got to do it for a few months before that therapist fell ill and stopped seeing patients, but in that short time it unquestionably laid the foundation for all the progress that followed. That’s why it’s first on the list. It opened the door to parts of myself I had lost or buried to shame and fear. It allowed me to slowly but surely fall in love with myself again. 
  • If the homework (or culty language) puts you off, my therapist did not use a lot of jargon or any strict protocol. It was all very emotionally driven. I didn’t have to learn what “Exiles” are or whatever. She just helped me discover, communicate with, and understand different parts as they came up.
• ASSORTED TALK THERAPY METHODOLOGIES - ANYWHERE FROM -7/10 TO 7/10
  • CBT and ACT messed me up – though it’s hard to know if it’s the methodologies or the psych I was seeing at the time.
  • Schema I never really understood, but my therapist herself was wonderful.
  • My bad therapist did lasting damage (through ignorance, not abuse). My good therapist provided me my only safe space in the world, keeping me alive in the worst period of my life. In providing this safety, she helped me be brave enough to face difficult truths (i.e. neurodivergence diagnoses).

   

• EMDR - 2/10
  • Simply bounced right off me with no noticeable effect. My therapist thought I was too dissociated at the time. It might work better now, though I think I’m achieving similar things in different ways.
• AuDHD DIAGNOSIS AND EDUCATION - 10/10
  • I have a very different relationship with my brain now than I did two years ago. 
  • My Occupational Therapist is very helpful in this area, helping me learn how to work with my brain, not try to control it. I am benefiting from supports I never would have thought of before.
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE - 7/10
  • I have LOTS of thoughts about the whole “where does trauma live – the body, or emotional learnings in the mind?” question. Suffice to say, your nervous system doesn’t know WHY you feel tension; whether it’s because of emotions like stress, or because of physically sore/tense muscles. Treating the tension by any method will make a dramatic difference to how you feel both physically and emotionally.
• MDMA ASSISTED THERAPY - 5/10
  • Only one session. It was lovely! But not sure how much lasting effect it had. Would probably be very good if done repeatedly.
• KETAMINE ASSISTED THERAPY - 4/10
  • Did it for about 5 weeks. Interesting, but not much effect. The ketamine helps lower the defensive walls which makes it easier to verbalise and process more difficult things with the therapist. But I was already learning to do that without the medication.
• CANNABIS (used recreationally) - anywhere from -5 TO +5
  • I’m defining “recreationally” as “to feel good”. It can be to escape bad feelings (not helpful) or to reward myself to a pleasant, restful night (helpful IN CAREFUL MODERATION).
• CANNABIS (used therapeutically, under prescription and with intention) - 9/10
  • Cannabis Assisted Therapy: I’m new to this, but it’s having a noticeable and lasting effect after only two sessions. My therapist’s methodology is VERY somatic – she gets me to locate tension in my body, and instead of releasing it, staying with it and seeing what comes up. The results are quite profound.
  • The first time I had an IFS breakthrough, “met” a whole tribe of parts at once, and experienced the feeling of self-love, I was dosed with THC (and also in the middle of a shame spiral, which then bloomed into that profound experience).
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE + CANNABIS - 9.5/10
  • Unbelieveably good combination.
• MICRODOSING (PSILOCYBIN) - 2/10
  • 3 months, tried various dosages. Pretty much no effect. It did seem to have a profound effect on about two days (I felt strong and capable!) but the rest of the time it either did nothing or made me feel sleepy.
• rTMS - 3/10
  • Honestly, I don’t think the TMS did anything for me at all. But going to the clinic multiple times a week during my worst period meant I wasn’t completely deprived of human contact, and the nurse was very kind and supportive, which I really needed.
• ANTIDEPRESSANTS (VARIOUS) - 4/10
  • Kept me alive, but also kept me stuck. It made things tolerable, which meant I tolerated things longer. If you need them, use them. But if you think you’re ready to take next steps, it might be worth a discussion with your doctors/therapists.
• FINDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE - 8/10
  • My life collapsed when I lost all my friends at once, but in hindsight, those friends needed to go. I’ve spent two years making new friends, and it’s slow – even when you make a wonderful new friend, getting to that really nourishing intimate stage takes a long time. But every step in that direction is rewarding and healing.
• RADICAL VULNERABILITY - 9/10
  • No, this doesn’t mean oversharing to everyone. It doesn’t mean being open about your trauma, but secretly using it as armour (“I’ll tell you how much I’m suffering, but only so you’ll be nice to me”). That’s what I THOUGHT vulnerability was. 
  • Actually, vulnerability is allowing yourself to say (or think, or feel) the thing you’re really afraid of saying (or thinking, or feeling). It’s also sending the email without spending 35 minutes softening and second-guessing the language. It’s communicating a boundary, or hurt, or fear, to someone you value. It’s communicating affection to someone you’re afraid you'll scare off. It’s bringing your realest self to the party – because if your real self is unwelcome, then it’s the wrong party for you.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to be with the parts that are suffering, instead of avoiding or burying them, even though suffering is hard and painful. Vulnerability doesn’t mean suffering more, it means allowing yourself to fall in love with those parts that are suffering.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to feel emotions even if you don’t understand them. I spent a year listening to podcasts about grief, even though I didn’t have anyone I was grieving, and I had no idea why everyone talking about grief resonated with me so much.
  • Vulnerability is a SKILL, and it takes time and practice to grow. It’s not a switch you can flick, so don’t beat yourself up or think it’s a character flaw if (when) you’re not great at it straight away.
• FIGHTING FOR SUPPORTS - 7/10
  • I’m on disability, so affording all of this has been impossible. I’ve found assistance from charities, government agencies, and local community organisations. It’s all very demoralising and frustrating and stressful – especially when support is taken away, which just happened to me two weeks ago. But it’s ultimately worthwhile if it allows you to access useful support. Also, sometimes you find a really nice organisation and helpful people who do everything in their power to help you, and that heals your relationship with humanity a little bit.

For the last two years I’ve made “healing my trauma” my special interest – and treated it like a starving man at all-you-can-eat buffet. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s been worth it. I feel truly different inside to how I did two years, a year, even six months ago.

The following is an itemised list of everything I’ve tried, and how well it’s worked for me. It’s a list I would have LOVED to have two years ago, so maybe someone else will find it useful.

Important note: this is not a list of instructions! What’s worked for me might not work  for you, and vice versa. Above all, what’s helped me the most is keeping an open mind (or, more accurately, thinking most of this is bullshit, but trying stuff anyway).

• IFS (INTERNAL FAMILY THERAPY) - 10/10
  • I only got to do it for a few months before that therapist fell ill and stopped seeing patients, but in that short time it unquestionably laid the foundation for all the progress that followed. That’s why it’s first on the list. It opened the door to parts of myself I had lost or buried to shame and fear. It allowed me to slowly but surely fall in love with myself again. 
  • If the homework (or culty language) puts you off, my therapist did not use a lot of jargon or any strict protocol. It was all very emotionally driven. I didn’t have to learn what “Exiles” are or whatever. She just helped me discover, communicate with, and understand different parts as they came up.
• ASSORTED TALK THERAPY METHODOLOGIES - ANYWHERE FROM -7/10 TO 7/10
  • CBT and ACT messed me up – though it’s hard to know if it’s the methodologies or the psych I was seeing at the time.
  • Schema I never really understood, but my therapist herself was wonderful.
  • My bad therapist did lasting damage (through ignorance, not abuse). My good therapist provided me my only safe space in the world, keeping me alive in the worst period of my life. In providing this safety, she helped me be brave enough to face difficult truths (i.e. neurodivergence diagnoses).

   

• EMDR - 2/10
  • Simply bounced right off me with no noticeable effect. My therapist thought I was too dissociated at the time. It might work better now, though I think I’m achieving similar things in different ways.
• AuDHD DIAGNOSIS AND EDUCATION - 10/10
  • I have a very different relationship with my brain now than I did two years ago. 
  • My Occupational Therapist is very helpful in this area, helping me learn how to work with my brain, not try to control it. I am benefiting from supports I never would have thought of before.
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE - 7/10
  • I have LOTS of thoughts about the whole “where does trauma live – the body, or emotional learnings in the mind?” question. Suffice to say, your nervous system doesn’t know WHY you feel tension; whether it’s because of emotions like stress, or because of physically sore/tense muscles. Treating the tension by any method will make a dramatic difference to how you feel both physically and emotionally.
• MDMA ASSISTED THERAPY - 5/10
  • Only one session. It was lovely! But not sure how much lasting effect it had. Would probably be very good if done repeatedly.
• KETAMINE ASSISTED THERAPY - 4/10
  • Did it for about 5 weeks. Interesting, but not much effect. The ketamine helps lower the defensive walls which makes it easier to verbalise and process more difficult things with the therapist. But I was already learning to do that without the medication.
• CANNABIS (used recreationally) - anywhere from -5 TO +5
  • I’m defining “recreationally” as “to feel good”. It can be to escape bad feelings (not helpful) or to reward myself to a pleasant, restful night (helpful IN CAREFUL MODERATION).
• CANNABIS (used therapeutically, under prescription and with intention) - 9/10
  • Cannabis Assisted Therapy: I’m new to this, but it’s having a noticeable and lasting effect after only two sessions. My therapist’s methodology is VERY somatic – she gets me to locate tension in my body, and instead of releasing it, staying with it and seeing what comes up. The results are quite profound.
  • The first time I had an IFS breakthrough, “met” a whole tribe of parts at once, and experienced the feeling of self-love, I was dosed with THC (and also in the middle of a shame spiral, which then bloomed into that profound experience).
• REMEDIAL MASSAGE + CANNABIS - 9.5/10
  • Unbelieveably good combination.
• MICRODOSING (PSILOCYBIN) - 2/10
  • 3 months, tried various dosages. Pretty much no effect. It did seem to have a profound effect on about two days (I felt strong and capable!) but the rest of the time it either did nothing or made me feel sleepy.
• rTMS - 3/10
  • Honestly, I don’t think the TMS did anything for me at all. But going to the clinic multiple times a week during my worst period meant I wasn’t completely deprived of human contact, and the nurse was very kind and supportive, which I really needed.
• ANTIDEPRESSANTS (VARIOUS) - 4/10
  • Kept me alive, but also kept me stuck. It made things tolerable, which meant I tolerated things longer. If you need them, use them. But if you think you’re ready to take next steps, it might be worth a discussion with your doctors/therapists.
• FINDING THE RIGHT PEOPLE - 8/10
  • My life collapsed when I lost all my friends at once, but in hindsight, those friends needed to go. I’ve spent two years making new friends, and it’s slow – even when you make a wonderful new friend, getting to that really nourishing intimate stage takes a long time. But every step in that direction is rewarding and healing.
• RADICAL VULNERABILITY - 9/10
  • No, this doesn’t mean oversharing to everyone. It doesn’t mean being open about your trauma, but secretly using it as armour (“I’ll tell you how much I’m suffering, but only so you’ll be nice to me”). That’s what I thought vulnerability was. 
  • Actually, vulnerability is allowing yourself to say (or think, or feel) the thing you’re really afraid of saying (or thinking, or feeling). It’s also sending the email without spending 35 minutes softening and second-guessing the language. It’s communicating a boundary, or hurt, or fear, to someone you value. It’s communicating affection to someone you’re afraid to scare off. It’s bringing your realest self to the party – because if your real self is unwelcome, then it’s the wrong party for you.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to be with the parts that are suffering, instead of avoiding or burying them, even though suffering is hard and painful. Vulnerability doesn’t mean suffering more, it means allowing yourself to fall in love with those parts that are suffering.
  • Vulnerability is allowing yourself to feel emotions even if you don’t understand them. I spent a year listening to podcasts about grief, even though I didn’t have anyone I was grieving, and I had no idea why everyone talking about grief resonated with me so much.
  • Vulnerability is a SKILL, and it takes time and practice to grow. It’s not a switch you can flick, so don’t beat yourself up or think it’s a character flaw if (when) you’re not great at it straight away.
• FIGHTING FOR SUPPORTS - 7/10
  • I’m on disability, so affording all of this has been impossible. I’ve found assistance from charities, government agencies, and local community organisations. It’s all very demoralising and frustrating and stressful – especially when support is taken away, which just happened to me two weeks ago. But it’s ultimately worthwhile if it allows you to access useful support. Also, sometimes you find a really nice organisation and helpful people who do everything in their power to help you, and that heals your relationship with humanity a little bit.

because of all assonance between it and "pisspig"

...without PFT saying "doo dah, doo dah"

I knew it was a possibility when I went in but decided to take the risk as my first plan was simply insufficient. I just received my new plan and it is outrageous, which I knew would be the case after the phone call with the planner.

My SC said she had never encountered such an aggressive and incompetent planner before.

Not only did she completely ignore 50 pages of evidence compiled by five qualified specialists (who all supported each others' recommendations) but she made a number of ignorant, inappropriate, and, frankly, bigoted comments.

Unlike many PWD I can (sometimes) speak and write clearly, as well as read and comprehend rules and legislation. So I can advocate for myself, and I plan to. I also luckily have a supportive team.

I'm weighing up replying to the planner with my complaints or simply ignoring her and immediately escalating above her. She's given me a few days to "review and comment" so I suppose I can plead my case but she has made it clear that she's not going to change anything.

The NDIA is a rotten institution that has only grown more rotten under this shameful government. And unfortunately the rot will only get worse with the incoming legislation. Fight it if you can. We probably can't stop what's coming, but if we can make it harder for them to hurt us and other disabled people then we have to do our part.

Any improvisers in here?

I know about Improv Conspiracy and have been to a few of their shows and had a good time. But I like to do my research and get many many recommendations.

Where else can someone do improv classes, and what are some differences from school to school, and if you took a course somewhere, what did you think?