u/MaleficentText2443

I felt so confident walking into it, I was sure I could get an 80. I got it back and saw I got in the mid-30s.

Even worse, I knew what was happening, and all of the answers I had done before since they were homework questions.

I haven’t gone to office hours yet, planning to, but I’m just so lost. I know my answers were correct, but I’m not sure why I would do so poorly.
It’s a partially proofs based course, so I understand I probably overcomplicated my answers or didn’t answer how they wanted me to, but damn

My entire life I've loved math, and been interested in the sciences. I took physics and calculus in high school as my electives if that gives perspective.

However, due to pressures from my family, I was pressured to enroll into a Tier 2 business school in my country and pursue a BBA. I also brought up the idea of pursuing engineering prior to applying to university, and their only response was "No, engineering is not for women."

I'm hesitant to transfer, and also afraid to since my first year GPA was low since I didn't put much effort into the business courses. I'm afraid that transferring would put me in a worse position than I already am.

I'm not sure how my parents would react to me transferring into a completely different degree, my mother is the decision maker in the scenario, and she is quite overbearing and emotionally unpredictable, so I'm honestly a bit afraid.

When I brought up wishing I had applied to a different, Tier 1 business school (which she initially told me she did not approve of), she asked why I didn't back then and told me to attempt to transfer right now.

My entire life I've loved math, and been interested in the sciences. I took physics and calculus in high school as my electives if that gives perspective.

However, due to pressures from my family, I was pressured to enroll into a Tier 2 business school in my country and pursue a BBA. I also brought up the idea of pursuing engineering prior to applying to university, and their only response was "No, engineering is not for women."

I'm hesitant to transfer, and also afraid to since my first year GPA was low since I didn't put much effort into the business courses. I'm afraid that transferring would put me in a worse position than I already am.

I'm not sure how my parents would react to me transferring into a completely different degree , my mother is the decision maker in the scenario, and she is quite overbearing and emotionally unpredictable, so I'm honestly a bit afraid.

When I brought up wishing I had applied to a different, Tier 1 business school (which she initially told me she did not approve of), she asked why I didn't back then and told me to attempt to transfer right now.

My entire life I've loved math, and been interested in the sciences. I took physics and calculus in high school as my electives if that gives perspective.

However, due to pressures from my family, I was pressured to enroll into a Tier 2 business school in my country and pursue a BBA. I also brought up the idea of pursuing engineering prior to applying to university, and their only response was "No, engineering is not for women."

I'm hesitant to transfer, and also afraid to since my first year GPA was low since I didn't put much effort into the business courses. I'm afraid that transferring would put me in a worse position than I already am.

I'm not sure how my parents would react to me transferring into a completely different degree , my mother is the decision maker in the scenario, and she is quite overbearing and emotionally unpredictable, so I'm honestly a bit afraid.

When I brought up wishing I had applied to a different, Tier 1 business school (which she initially told me she did not approve of), she asked why I didn't back then and told me to attempt to transfer right now.

I've tried searching for help and for other people in a similar situation, but I haven't been able to find anyone who is having the same problem as me, so I'm sorry if this sounds repetitive or ignorant, it’s not my intention.

I (19F) want to improve my life and honestly just explore myself as a person and set my life up to be the best it possibly can be.

I grew up with a financially stable and present family, but emotionally my household has always been extremely unstable and erratic, and I never received any guidance on anything in life, more-so just force to be a certain way or do something a certain way, so I lack a lot of introspective abilities.

(I currently have a loving boyfriend who has helped me a lot, but I feel so horrible for relying on him so much. He has his own problems, and this can be a lot, but I truly have no one else to go to).

I am able to recognize my behaviours, but I struggle very heavily with actually identifying emotions or really just "thinking" outside of an analytical context. 99% of the day my head is just empty or is unable to finish a thought. Up until recently, I wasn't even able to identify what emotions I was feeling, even now I can't tell when I'm stressed and fully have to rely on the physical symptoms of it.
*For this I am planning to take therapy, but I’m just mentioning it so there’s at least some kind of clarification as to why I struggle with figuring out where to begin and how to sort myself out.

Whenever I try to start a “plan” in my head, even if it’s something that doesn’t require any actual thinking beforehand (just doing), I hit a blank wall.

examples:
- This is an especially prominent problem with politics and religion. My brain won't let me identify completely with an opinion, and in the very rare case that I do, I'm extremely assertive and don't know how to carry myself, even though I'm open minded.
I'm atheist for a few reasons that are somewhat reasonable, but the moment I have to go in depth, I blank and honestly shut down.
With politics I'm just not curious, but even then I can't bring myself to even research anything when it's time to vote.

- I’ve been wanting to get into dressing better and decorating my space, but my mind just blanks. I go to try saving pictures of outfits I like or decor I enjoy looking at, but once I got those, I once again don’t know what to do after. I don't remember the last time I actually went to the mall and was able to buy clothing, honestly cause I somewhat panic and once again shut down.

- I wanted to get into investing for the longest time since I have the money, I’m also a business student, but whenever I try to read a book about it or a resource it feels like I’m hitting a dead end again.

- Even take going to the gym for example. I even purchased the membership, but I’m not sure what to do or what exercises would be good for me, even if I google. It sounds stupid but it's almost like my brain won't let me move before I'm aware of what will happen.

I understand the general advice is “just do it and figure it out later,” but it’s almost like my brain stops me.

I want to get better and I try to “just start,” but if my brain doesn’t have a plan of what to do in the future I sort of just stop. Even if I try to keep going it’s almost like I’m starting from square 1 over and over again. Lists have always helped me, but how would I even make a list in this scenario?

Sorry for the length, I just really wanted to define the issue so someone can help me.

Edit: Additional Info

I'm not sure if this is dumb, but I struggle to ig even start thinking? I'm not sure if this is because of the way I grew up, but my brain struggles to understand where to even start looking or what I can look for.

An example would be signing for clubs at my university. I know theres a club fair, but for some reason I genuinely can't grasp how to go to one and sign up for a club without a written step by step guide. I do just fine, and I'm not dumb by any means, but this happens often.

I’ve tried looking for advice online, but I always struggle with the actual starting stage despite all the advice, so apologies if this sounds repetitive or ignorant, it’s not my intention.

I want to improve my life and honestly just explore myself as a person and set my life up to be the best it possibly can be. I grew up with a financially stable and present family, but emotionally my household has always been extremely unstable and erratic, and I never received any guidance on anything in life, more-so just force to be a certain way or do something a certain way, so I lack a lot of introspective abilities.

For this I am planning to take therapy, but I’m just mentioning it so there’s at least some kind of clarification as to why I struggle with figuring out where to begin and how to sort myself out.

Whenever I try to start a “plan” in my head, even if it’s something that doesn’t require any actual thinking beforehand (just doing), I hit a blank wall.

I’ve been wanting to get into dressing better and decorating my space, but my mind just blanks. I want to try saving pictures of outfits I like or decor I enjoy looking at, but once I got those, I once again don’t know what to do.

I wanted to get into investing for the longest time since I have the money, I’m also a business student, but whenever I try to read a book about it or a resource it feels like I’m hitting a dead end again.

Even take going to the gym for example. I even purchased the membership, but I’m not sure what to do or what exercises would be good for me, even if I google.

I understand the general advice is “just do it and figure it out later,” but it’s almost like my brain stops me.

I want to get better and I try to “just start,” but if my brain doesn’t have a plan of what to do in the future (which is obviously a bit of a challenge for me) I sort of just stop. Even if I try to keep going it’s almost like I’m starting from square 1 over and over again.

This is such a big issue for me especially with things such as politics and religion. My brain just stops me from exploring any ideas further.

However, I realize these things are so important and I can’t just “stop”.

Sorry for the length, I just really wanted to define the issue so someone can help me.

I’m not sure if this is a setting I need to change or if it’s just an internal error, but if I’m driving with no music on, the radio will randomly turn on

I attend a well respected business school in my country, and am outgoing and nice to everyone I meet.

Everybody was definitely right about the attitude business students tend to have, and how overly competitive they are, but I see so many groups being formed and people with so many friends when I’m just here and have no one.

When I first entered I was probably one of the most popular students because of how much I helped my peers, and I actually made acquaintances who were definitely transitioning into friendship territory. But then when it came to actual friendships, they just chose everybody else.
I realized over time that people only went to me for homework help or so I could sort their life out for them.

I’m so lonely. I try so hard to make friends, to connect with people, to seem approachable or nice, it just never works.

I commute, so my routine is just wake up, go to class, maybe stick around if I’m willing to give meeting people another shot, and then just sucking it up and going home.

I was never good at making long-term friends, but holy shit this hurts and is so depressing. I feel like a weirdo

I'm entering my second year, and I want to pursue grad school. I'm aware of Work Study positions and the RAY positions, but from what I understand it's really hard to get one of those without personally knowing the professor and being close.

I don't have anybody to ask or help me out, so any advice or input is appreciated!

I've heard that second year is an actual shit show, but I need Calculus as a part of my post-grad requirements.

Is it worth it taking them in second year, both semesters, as my electives?