Backward OCD

I've been seeking for 30 years what could be the cause of my memory problems and lack of organizational skills. I was dx'd with OCD at 35, but I was just given Prozac and that's it. My own research brought me to adult ADD and autism, which I got tested for - nope. My latest suspiscion was "Twice Exceptional", and I was trying to find a psych to diagnose me. I had always assumed OCD was the stereotypical checking to make sure my door is locked 10 times, excessive hand wasing, etc which was true of me; but I never figured on also having opposite problems. I'm so relieved!

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 4 days ago
▲ 9 r/cll

Disability

My getting sick often and staying sick, us side-effects of meds and fatigue are making me dread going to work. I'm teying to find a fkexible work-from-home job, but even partial disability would help me establish myself in the job or even keep it part-time. Has anyone here with CLL applied for disability? Wondering what I would do, who all needs to be involved, etc. Doctor, obviously. Current boss?

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 5 days ago

God's Still Not Dead (Even if the Newsboys are)

My family and I went to the very last Newsboys concert after Michael Tate, their lead singer, confessed to sins he wanted to repent of. The band is no longer together, so I hear, because some Christians believe the other band members knew Tate was doing these things and never said anything. My family and I are reviewing the GND movies and just saw 3, in which a character tells the main character, "Christians are telling the world more and more what they're against and forgetting what we are for." We should be praying for restoration for Tate - not to the band, but to his relationship with God. We should not be shaming him. We should be supporting the band instead of dragging them into the same shame. God is not Dead, but He's shaking His head.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 13 days ago

Turning 50 this year and not loving it

My oldest begins college in the Fall, my career never took off as I've bever kept a job longer than 4 years, my marriage is varely there as we're facing the fact that we're so different. She avoided that fact by concentrating on the kids, but niw that they'll all be gone in 5 years, we don't know what to do. I suggested counsleing - she said no. We have a new pastor who is turning our church into a seeker-friendly, watered down social club. I've got blood cancer. I'm trying to remember that God is in control and sees the big picture and all things work together for my good. Just not able to "count it all joy" right now.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 13 days ago

Turning 50 this year and not loving it.

My oldest begins collage in the Fall, my career never took off as I've never kept a job longer than 4 years, my marriage is barely there as we both are facing the fact that we're so different. She avoided thinking about that by concentrating on the kids, but since they'll be gone in 5 years, now what? I've got cancer, feel like I'm losing my mind. Idk.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 13 days ago
▲ 57 r/midlifecrisis+1 crossposts

Turning 50 this year and not loving it.

My oldest begins collage in the Fall, my career never took off as I've never kept a job longer than 4 years, my marriage is barely there as we both are facing the fact that we're so different. She avoided thinking about that by concentrating on the kids, but since they'll be gone in 5 years, now what? I've got cancer, feel like I'm losing my mind. Idk.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 13 days ago

I'm allergic to pain; it hurts me.

Everyone tells me to stop running away to avoid hurt or to strengthen my coping skills for when I get hurt; but I've hit my limit of hurt in my life. I can't take it anymore! I've been rejected by most people I come across, the people who didn't reject me don't understand me, I'm almost 50 and have never kept a job longer than 4 years. I can't do this anymore!

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 2 months ago

My favorite thing about porn (won't trigger, I don't think)

The way the women portrayed look at me. They could be wearing 5 layers of clothes, but if they're looking at me like they want me, I'm hooked. No one IRL ever looked at me like that. Not even my wife. She initiated sometimes, and I believe she wanted me, but she doesn't know how to make that face like the women in porn do.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 2 months ago

My story

Hi. I was very sheltered as a child on top of being moved everywhere for my dad's job. So, even if I had been popular, I wouldn't have been able to keep a girlfriend for long. My mother was concerned about this, gave me porn, and said, "It's better than going out and r*ping some girl." This hurts, because I realize now she thought I was the sort of person who would. But I was afraid at the time that I might turn into one and trusted my mother to know what she was talking about. So began my addiction. I eventually got married but continued, well because I couldn't stop. I tried to stop several times to no avail. I joined a Celebrate Recovery and confessed to a room full of strangers but then the group disbanded.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 2 months ago

What AM I?

I'm nearly 50. I've lost a bunch of jobs. I tested for Adult ADD twice and Austism once - no help there. I'm actually brilliant (far from genius) in some subjects but D - in others (like Math). I inquired of Microsoft Copilot, and gave me a list for 2e which included trouble with executive functions and other things I have. I looked up who can diagnose me with 2e; but the closest ones are 3 hours away. I'm sick and tired of failing my family, not being understood by most people, and people expecting me to be brilliant at EVERTHING if I'm brilliant at a few things.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 2 months ago

Religious Trauma

I was shown a movie about the end of the world (Thief in the Night) when I was in Kindergarten. The only scene I remember is Patty being beheaded. I'm still a Christian. I don't blame God for the mistake my Christian school made.

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u/Maleficent_Coach_620 — 2 months ago