u/Medical-Net-7350

I struggle with fine motor control of my hands, fingers, arms, etc. I CAN’T for the life of me click on the stupid x to close the pop up ads! I HATE it, they’re all so ableist. I always open the damn page or App Store. They are so tiny, unresponsive, and the box around the x always opens whatever page or store.

They also hide the x and with my eyesight I struggle with colour contrast and I can never even see them. It’s always light grey x on a white page.

Also they are so LOUD! Ugh!

Fuck ads!

I had an appointment set up with the only pain clinic available in my area with my primary giving me a referral to them. I waited 7 months for my appointment. I went to my appointment as normal. Waiting for 45 minutes in the lobby and then was brought back as normal. The doctor refused to even see me. They told me to leave and that they couldn’t help me. The intake nurse was the only one who talked to me. Doctor refused to even talk to me at all or step in the room. I hate everything, I hate doctors and I hate life.

I feel like such a shit person for wanting to be able to do maid or be diagnosed with a terminal condition. I hate this planet. I want to go back to death. It’s cruel that I was allowed to taste the sweet release of it and now I’m forced to live in constant pain with no help. I hate the medical field.

Anybody here have a sensory room or have been to a sensory room? I’m trying to make my room like one. Budget friendly is best of course. I have lots of fun rainbow lighting, and some comfy blankets, but I don’t know what else to do? Anyone have ideas or anything that works for them?

PLEASE HELP I NEED ADVICE!

It’s 4th July. My neighbour always sets off illegal fireworks every year, they sometimes hit our house too. I am in the USA ofc..

My conflict is if I report them (fireworks hotline from the police department, NOT emergency line ofc) my area has a no tolerance policy. It’s a mandatory court date, at least 1000$ fine, and even jail time. I don’t want to ruin my neighbours life, but at the same time, we are in an extreme fire danger. There’s huge wild fires all around us right now. Areas around us have full fire bans in place it’s so bad (we have restrictions not a ban). The chance of a whole ass wild fire starting across the street from me is really high. What do I do? I can’t talk to them. My autism makes me uncomfortable with conflict. We did last year and they said they couldn’t care less, and my dad talked to him this year and they said the same thing.

Don’t want to ruin this guys life (he has a wife and kids) but also don’t want a fucking wild fire to ruin the entire neighbourhood. HELP!

UPDATE: I talked with my parents. Just as we were about to call, they went inside. They stopped. We’ll call if they go back out and start again. We don’t have photos or evidence of them doing it because the camera we have that faces them didn’t turn on as it’s motion activated and they were too far away for it to catch it.

There’s a lot of other illegal fireworks around us that’s going off, but we can’t report them all because we don’t have the streets where they are. We anonymously reported multiple times on the online local fireworks database that the local police own and use to find illegal
fireworks.

I’m sure we’ll see some police rolling around later tonight as they normally start patrolling this area after quiet hours start.

Thanks for all the help and I appreciate it! Next year I will just immediately report them instead of worrying. They’ll have to learn the hard way if they don’t want to do the easy way.

I had an appointment with a pain clinic after waiting for 8 months to be seen and they told me they wouldn’t help me, the doctor wouldn’t even see me, just the nurse. I have had a non stop headache for almost 12 years and frequent debilitating migraines along side a progressive and degenerative nerve disease causing a ton of nerve pain. They basically told me to go fuck myself and I had a meltdown and shutdown at the appointment, and my parents had to wheel me out. (I’m almost fully wheelchair bound), and I was crying and restraining myself so hard to prevent myself from screaming everything in my mind at them. I then was fully mute for going on a week now. I can’t do this. I am so exhausted and desperate for some fucking relief and I don’t know why no one will help me. I’m so tired and I’m so embarrassed. How do I cope with this? I’m going to talk to my physiatrist about it, but that’s not for almost a month. The medical field hates me and people like me. It’s like they want me to die. They all want me to die so I don’t bother them anymore. My autism and OCD has been causing me to have racing thoughts about this. I’ve been actually doing well mentally and even have a note from my psychiatrist to prove I’m not unsafe, but this is really getting to me. If you have any advice please help.

TW: MENTIONS end of life discussions, death,

Long post, sorry!

Context:

I have recently been enrolled in palliative care and am working on getting an DNR (do not resuscitate) along with some other paperwork signed soon to ensure if my body nopes out I’m not pulled back into this mess, along with some other comfort care policies and end of life discussions.
I have been fighting for this for years since I had a near death experience and was clinically dead for a bit. The pain and degeneration I have been dealing with is unbearable at times.
I’m young. I know. I’m in my 20s and I am pretty much done trying to fix anything. I have multiple diseases that will never be fixed. I just want to live with pain management and go to sleep at night knowing if I “peace out” again I won’t be forced to return here again.

End of context. Now on to the issue at hand:

My family is really upset with me. They all think I’m giving up on life. My parents are not happy about it, but have told me they’ll honour it.
However, a few of my siblings have just straight up told me they’re disappointed in me, I’m a failure, they will throw the papers away, lie and tell EMTs that I don’t have a DNR, try to do CPR on me themselves, etc.
I’m pissed now and I feel even more ostracised from them than I did before. Being the youngest of 8 and the only adopted one I have always been a black sheep. I’m scared they are going to try to do something to stop this. I’m also upset that they think I’m giving up. I’m not. I just want peace and to live with less pain.

My progressive nerve degenerative disease, along with everything else wrong with me is making my life hell and miserable. Why can’t I have one thing after years of fighting for it. Fucking sucks. If anyone has any advice or whatever don’t hesitate to tell me please! I’m at a loss of what to do. My palliative care nurse told me the papers have to be on the fridge for EMTs.

I am constantly convinced and obsessed over bugs being all over me and my things. I always feel like there’s bugs on me and in my bed and hiding in my room. It’s ruining my life. Tonight a small spotted carpet beetle crawled over me when I was in bed and I’m losing my mind! I have contamination OCD that’s so bad and I can’t go outside without showering, I can’t touch my bed without showering, I constantly feel so fucking filthy and gross and I feel like bugs are just everywhere when they’re not. I spend hours every night checking my bed and closet for bed bugs and I stress over any change to my surroundings like people coming in fear that they bring something in. I’m so sleep deprived and I also deal with multiple chronic illnesses and other neurodivergence (autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia). I’m miserable constantly. I can’t keep doing this. I’m already dealing with a degenerative and progressive nerve disease that causes my nerves to misfire making my bug crawling feeling even more real. I’m becoming paralysed and I am terrified of being consumed by bugs when I’m fully bedridden. Dead things also just fuck with me to the point that I can’t eat meat anymore. My OCD is getting worse and worse. What can I even do?