u/MermaidGirl48

I tried to report the nurse who was abusive towards me when I was hospitalized for mental health. I reported her to the department of health professions. I also tried complaining to the hospital itself, which ignored me. I tried to get external agencies to investigate the hospital or do something, anything. No one listened and they all said it was either outside their jurisdiction or that they just plain couldn’t help me. It’s been tough feeling like there’s nothing I can do to help prevent these things from happening to other people, and I feel like no one believes me. I mean, that’s how the nurse framed it in the notes she wrote about me, she tried to make me sound as unhinged as possible. I’m angry just thinking about it. I’m sorry I just needed to vent.

I have been playing and running TTRPGs since September, and up until this point the two games I have played the most consistently are D&D and Mothership. I have really been enjoying it, even though I was scared to play D&D at first because of my OCD obsessions about sinning by "worshipping false gods" which I know is silly in the context of D&D but whatever (I am Catholic for context).

Recently, I decided that I wanted to try Vaesen, a mystery horror TTRPG that sounded super fun. I tried a session as a player at a game store and enjoyed it even though there were some triggers regarding demons. After doing a bit of research to make sure there was no over the top triggering content for me, I bought the core rulebook and began prepping to run the mystery in there for some friends, who are all on board. I had to make a few changes because of sensitive content not related to my OCD that I thought was a little too disturbing for my group, but other than that it seemed fine.

As I've been prepping, I've noticed lots of thoughts coming up about how I am going to get possessed by demons because I'm running a horror game that has a lot of supernatural elements (unlike Mothership, which is more sci-fi), that I'm endangering the souls of my players and I'm going to send them to hell, and that even if it is morally okay, how will I ever enjoy it with these fears bothering me, so did I make a mistake buying the book, and all that. Plus, I am having this fear that maybe I only "like" the game because I'm lying to myself and telling myself I like it when I really don't, and if that's true then it means I'll be miserable but never miserable enough to stop lying to myself. I don't know if that makes any sense but it's what my OCD is saying (I think, sometimes it can be hard to tell what is OCD).

It's just very frustrating because I just want to enjoy this FICTIONAL game without having to feel like I'm violating real-world religious principles just by playing it.

I like to GM for Mothership and have done so a few times with success, but I have never run any other game (though I've played others). I am considering running Vaesen for some friends. I'm currently reading the standard reference document for the Year Zero Engine that Vaesen uses, so I understand that it is different mechanically from Mothership. For anyone who has played both Mothership and Vaesen, is one easier to run than the other?

I have been diagnosed with bipolar for a few years. I can’t tell if I’m on my way to getting manic or not at this point. I’ve been having phases where I’ve had a lot of clear manic symptoms, usually in the afternoon. I have been getting unusually happy (sometimes irritable instead), I talk really fast, I laugh and dance about wildly for no reason. I talk a lot of nonsense and generally act either ridiculous or very angry. And then it goes away, and then it comes back later (though one time I did need an as-needed medication for it to go away). I was just in the hospital, and they were concerned enough about these that I was banned from going on walks outside for a little because it was so unpredictable.

Thing is, I know that a manic episode lasts at least days, not hours, so I don’t understand what my brain is doing right now. It feels kind of like a bite-sized version of the manic episode I had when I was younger. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon so maybe that will help.

The players were very quick at figuring things out, so it actually did not take very long for us (a bit over an hour?), which kind of surprised me. Short runtime aside, we all had a lot of fun. Probably the most intense moment was when the scientist rolled two critical failures in a row, leading to her near death by synthroid. This was happening after the time loops had been stopped, so death would have been permanent. Fortunately, the other player (there were only 2), who was a marine, saved her by successfully killing the synthroid with a pulse rifle. This was possible because the two of them had already significantly weakened the synthroid by trapping it in the laser tunnel outside the security checkpoint, which I thought was pretty smart of them.

I really enjoyed Decagone and they did too. The time loops were fun and not terribly difficult to manage. One thing that I found helpful was that I wrote down first lines of dialogue that NPCs like Ned would say just so that it remained consistent across time loops. I also set the noise that goes off at the end of the timer to be an elevator ding, which I think was a nice touch if I do say so myself. I would totally recommend giving this module a try 😊

Hello, I am being told that CCS (Community Crisis Stabilization) might be an option for me. It is an alternative to inpatient that provides around the clock care for just a few days. I have PTSD and have really been struggling, but I don't want to go to the hospital again, which is why this might be good. I don't know if it would help me though. Has anyone here been to a program like this, and did you find it helpful?

I don’t know what is next. I feel hopeless and like I’ve run out of options. I need help and I have no faith anymore that I’ll ever be able to get it. For context, the reason they didn’t accept me is because they primarily work with people who have experienced CSA, but they did not say that anywhere on the website or when we talked to them beforehand. I’ve been told that more help exists for people who have “extreme” trauma than for people like me who I guess don’t have it as bad (my PTSD comes from abusive staff at a psychiatric facility). But it is destroying me and I need help.

I’ll also add that the crisis intervention person I saw today said I could go to CCS (community crisis stabilization) as an alternative to hospitalization since I’ve been feeling really bad. It’s 3-5 days. I don’t know if that would even help at this point because I need PTSD-specific treatment and ai don’t see what they would do. If anyone here has been to CCS and could tell me a little about what it is like, I would appreciate that.

Hi, I'm looking at the map provided with Decagone and I can't figure out the particle accelerator room. Are players meant to walk through the ring tunnel shown in the middle of the room? And the PPA- the module says that if it is removed, the first person to exit the room will be hit by a stream of rogue particles. Why would that only happen when they exit the room and not immediately? Is there something about the layout of this room that I am missing?

I have no eyebrows left. I am going to be bald again probably. I am just so disgusted with myself. Last night, I was understandably upset, so I was crying and I made a slight, very brief screaming noise at one point, so the people in the dorm room next to me called the police, so that was just the cherry on top.

I have been really struggling with my PTSD and am applying to a day treatment program for trauma for this summer. The questionnaire that was part of the application had a long list of common traumatic experiences you could check off, and I felt incredibly guilty that mine wasn't on the list. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that my traumatic experience did not threaten my life, I just feel like I am stealing help from someone who actually needs it by even applying to be in this program. But I am struggling so much, I can barely function. Sometimes I doubt if I even meet the criteria for PTSD despite my diagnosis since there was no serious injury involved (though it certainly came close to getting physical, I doubt it would have risen to the level of serious injury given the context).