u/Mountain-Lychee4359

So my symptoms are pretty mild when my stress is low, and I can't take antipsychotics anymore because of my heart. I've been mostly in remission since heart surgery a year ago, but the day before my period, I get really bad emotional instability with anger too. I thought those were my only symptoms but now that it's passed, I realize I was having some bizarre thoughts leading up to it. They weren't terribly weird, and I could tell that they were unrealistic, but I think that the emotional impact of them stayed with me until I burst yesterday. It was fairly controlled for me, but it sucked and really stressed out my friend who has a different disorder. Anyhow, I try to manage these things preemptively. Do you have any tips or similar experiences?

Well, I told a friend that I thought they were splitting on me. They think I'm in psychosis. Word to the wise, bo matter how bad your mood swings are, suggesting to someone with bpd that they're splitting on you will absolutely make them split on you. I try so hard to be calm and collected, but all it takes is one good day followed by a bad to be accused of mania and psychosis. I don't have the bipolar subtype and I'm in remission. My shitty memory of conversations does not make me psychotic. Ugh. Tonight was rough. It's weird seeing symptoms from the outside. I don't think I could have handled this any better or worse unless I had just not been there. I left once I felt like my being there was making us both worse.

Today I started off in a really good mood, and it's great to be feeling things a little bit again, but it seems like throughout the day, my higher mood level is switching from general happiness to irritability. Does anyone deal with this? Any tips for the processing and moving through irritability?

Woke up from a nightmare again. I have heart condition so each time I have to make sure it's not that. I have both PTSD and CPTSD with overlapping symptoms.

I get recurring nightmares that I'm stuck in my hometown at the church or camp I used to love, but that I know would reject me now because I'm lesbian. This time, it was just awkward and uncomfortable at first, but then my dad showed up. At that point, I'm worried we'll get in an argument, but I can't stand secrecy. I tell the people there that he yells at me almost daily, and then he gets upset. In that moment I know he's going to kill me, and I try to hide or escape and no one is helping. It's terrifying. Dream me actually decided to dissociate which woke me up.

In real life, I never actually felt like my dad was going to kill me, but since I came out as queer, he hardly talks to me, says he dreads my calls, and when we do talk it quickly devolves to screaming and him saying I'd be happier if I listened to him, and refusing to believe that I'm the happiest I've ever been. I don't know why my dreams make him come after me; we did scream a lot growing up, and he did kick me one time, but my subconscious finds that to be deadly intent for some reason. Anyhow, My whole upper body is tense, and it sucks. My partner's at work tonight and I'm just here, not sure about going back to sleep after this. Good vibes to everyone else going through it tonight.

Hi y'all! I have pretty bad avolition, apathy, and anhedonia, and I already hated cleaning, but none of the adhd or other hacks seem to work, and this causes tension in my relationship since I stay at home. Any tips?

It may be under Oregon, but Idaho makes up a big part of the Cascades!

Note: Today I learned that my dad does not know geography, and that no matter hoe many times people near Cascade say that we live in the Cascade Mountain Range, it is in fact untrue.

I'm fluid, probably... I'm definitely not cis, though I'm not out and have been dragging my feet exploring gender. Recently, my friend invited me to an AFI concert and I hadn't listened to them since DecemberUnderground came out in 2006(8?). I wasn't expecting this look from Davey Havok, and I was mesmerized! Unfortunately, I have very strict and judgmental parents and their beliefs still impact me, so I'm at the concert, just enthralled by this man, and I can't help but criticize myself like, "Oh, now you get gender envy? This is the look you like? The long hair and handlebar mustache?" And I couldn't just enjoy a look, or even desire it for myself, because I was raised with so many beliefs that made character judgements on people for their appearance, so now, 6 (?) years since I started to realize I might be masc, I finally found a masculine look I connected to, this and Ponyo's dad, and I'm trying not to feel shame for it, because I still feel like I shouldn't want to look that way, or I should want to look conventionally attractive, and I know it's bullcrap, but I still have to deconstruct it. Anyhow, this man is awesome. Thanks for reading my rant.