u/Mr_Bow6427

Is there anyway to stop overthinking and stop feeling anxious about small things?

Why do some people love to reply so late, even when they are always on their phones, texting in group chats, or sending Instagram reels, but won't text you back?

These days I only see cons in everything that I decide to do for my future like shifting from flat to pg, or staying in flat, or transferring to a place where my family is. It's like fear has settled inside me. I feel so helpless.

These days I have a weird ache in my chest like a fear. I always feel like crying but not able to cry. Something around me has changed, my flatmates have fought and because of it I'm scared things will never be the same. And one of them was my very close friend but she feels so distant and I'm closer to another flatmate now more because of that I feel kind of guilty which I should not.

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I'm 22F and I live with 2 F flatmates. We used to be very close in starting when we moved in but nowadays both of them are fighting like dogs and it's giving me headache and anxiety because I was used to living happy happy and this sudden change in dynamics. I'm not even involved in all this but one of them expects me to take her side but I can't because she is not totally right. Even when I tried to tell her she acted hurt and made me go on a guilt trip and now she is just ignoring me and looks like she will move out because our lease will end in August. Because of all this whenever I'm waking up I feel anxious. What should I do ? I don't want to feel like this.

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So, I (22F) live with two flatmates, A (22F) and B (21F).

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Since we moved in, both of them have had boyfriends. During the first 5 months, B's boyfriend used to stay over 4–5 days a week. At that time, our electricity bill was low because we weren't using the AC much, so we never asked him to contribute to the electricity bill. Similarly, A's boyfriend used to visit about twice a week, and we didn't ask him to pay anything either.

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In January, A broke up with her boyfriend. Then, in April, she started dating one of our friends. We all work at the same company and are at the same level. Since then, A's new boyfriend has been staying at our flat almost every night. It's been around two months now, and he is basically living here. He doesn't have his own flat and stays in a PG otherwise.

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At the same time, we've started using the AC regularly, and our electricity bill has become almost three times higher than before. Because of this, B suggested that A's boyfriend should contribute to the electricity bill since he's using the electricity, AC, water, and other resources every day. However, A got upset and argued with B over this.

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Now I'm stuck in the middle and confused about what's fair. B also spends a lot of time at her boyfriend's flat these days, so she's barely using the flat's resources, yet she's still paying her full share. Meanwhile, A's boyfriend is staying here almost full-time and using all the resources without contributing anything.

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Do you think it's fair to include A's boyfriend in the electricity bill and other shared expenses? If yes, what would be the fairest way to divide the costs?

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So, I (22F) live with two flatmates, A (22F) and B (21F).

​

Since we moved in, both of them have had boyfriends. During the first 5 months, B's boyfriend used to stay over 4–5 days a week. At that time, our electricity bill was low because we weren't using the AC much, so we never asked him to contribute to the electricity bill. Similarly, A's boyfriend used to visit about twice a week, and we didn't ask him to pay anything either.

​

In January, A broke up with her boyfriend. Then, in April, she started dating one of our friends. We all work at the same company and are at the same level. Since then, A's new boyfriend has been staying at our flat almost every night. It's been around two months now, and he is basically living here. He doesn't have his own flat and stays in a PG otherwise.

​

At the same time, we've started using the AC regularly, and our electricity bill has become almost three times higher than before. Because of this, B suggested that A's boyfriend should contribute to the electricity bill since he's using the electricity, AC, water, and other resources every day. However, A got upset and argued with B over this.

​

Now I'm stuck in the middle and confused about what's fair. B also spends a lot of time at her boyfriend's flat these days, so she's barely using the flat's resources, yet she's still paying her full share. Meanwhile, A's boyfriend is staying here almost full-time and using all the resources without contributing anything.

​

Do you think it's fair to include A's boyfriend in the electricity bill and other shared expenses? If yes, what would be the fairest way to divide the costs?

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