u/NICEacct111

This morning, my parents (as usual) were angry about me not fully understanding and retaining STEM subjects for a healthcare career, and then I brought up how a paternal aunt always told me I was really slow and an idiot (in my parents' native tongue, as they are Southeast Asian immigrants) when I was in middle and high school. Now, I think it's unfortunately natural, common, and normal for others to describe and caricaturize people with undesired traits in a very negative light. It's just hilarious to think how some people think I can do impressive, prestigious paths while others think I'm a silly idiot. Anyways, I'll try to do what I can. I'm just wondering if anyone can relate. Thanks for reading. Take care.

This question might seem unrelated to this sub, but let me explain. Part of being successful in school and the workforce, being able to understand well and retain for a long period of time, and being able to progress in conventional paths is due to a good raw cognitive potential. Additionally however, another part of being able to achieve major milestones is endurance/stamina or pain tolerance while doing tedious or difficult tasks. Now, doing homework or other intellectually-demanding tasks is not seen as painful (at least not physically). However, I think there must be some form of pain tolerance or tolerance for monotony because traditional academics or traditional white-collar jobs not only have complex learning involved but also many hours of doing the same type of studying or working in order to successfully complete the assignment or job.

Like for me personally, I think my pain tolerance/monotony tolerance is probably on the lower end, as sometimes merely looking at complicated STEM problems or dense readings can paralyze me on the cognitive level. Anyways, I hope this post feels refreshing as it brings a new topic into this sub. Thanks for reading. Take care.

In this relatively optimistic post, I wonder if anyone here thinks that a reasonable desire, coupled with sufficient resources and an adequate skill-set, can actually achieve major life goals? At least the conventional ones? Or is this phrase just a cope lol? I have heard this phrase many times in my life, but most recently from a late-night talk show/commentary channel my parents watch. Basically, a woman was saying how she struggled with learning Spanish at the college level, and took 3 times longer to learn it than her peers. I don't know all the details nor circumstances of this woman and her progress with learning a foreign language. It was nice to hear such a story, but unfortunately I don't think it can apply to everyone, especially for those with very low cognitive abilities. Thanks for reading. Take care.

In most contexts, having a relatively low cognitive capacity is a serious but invisible issue, one that cannot be addressed easily (or at all). Thinking more broadly about life and the possible problems that can be experienced, being a low IQ person made me think about how most individuals have their specific flaws (that can't be easily corrected), and that realization made me think that perhaps having some kind of immutable problem is just a part of life. Like there is a common saying that the only guarantees in life are death and taxes. As that idiom suggests, and essentially proved by my lived experiences, some form of suffering/pain/hardship is unavoidable in life, and we as people have to coexist with problems.

This reflective post may be extreme or too negative, but I think at least some folks here can relate to dealing with poor grades (or other undesired life outcomes) that happened in part due to one's cognitive shortcoming. All in all, it would be a folly to automatically assume that life and its outcomes and its experiences will be perfect, even if one does all the right steps in the conventional life path, since many phenomena are uncontrollable or flawed from the very start. Anyways, I'm not advocating for a defeatist attitude; I'm just ranting and analyzing my own experiences and failures and what those imply about how life works. Thanks for reading. Take care.

This post title may be asking about a common experience, but I just wonder how many other people here can relate. As I went through grade school, I didn't fail classes (although perhaps certain tests and projects went awry), and was barely able to graduate on a normal timeframe. However, when I went to uni right after the summer past high school graduation, I ended up flunking out of a STEM major on a pre-health track. In hindsight, it makes sense I suffered such a failure because STEM classes have always been hard to understand and retain for me (like reading a STEM textbook or workbook feels like decoding a language, and then I have to actually solve and retain the information from the problems). When I reflect on my childhood and what my parents wanted and what they thought life would come to be, it's simultaneously terrible and funny that they simply thought I would overcome my invisible cognitive struggles to ace higher ed and go onto a health professional school smoothly (which would have led to a financially lucrative and stable job as a clinician in theory).

I guess it makes sense that any optimistic parent would dream and imagine that their child can overcome their specific challenges and become successful in a professional and financial sense. It's just crazy and jarring to deeply reflect on how life can unfold in ways no one wants nor is adequately prepared for. I'm currently still trying to find a path that fits me. Take care.

I'm making this question/rant after-the-fact of doing poorly on a STEM test, but I just wanted to know other people's perspective here. A little over a week ago, I took the first "big" test of the semester in a hard STEM course (5 units) at a community college, and although I am legally allowed to get extended test time and set it up with the professor and student disability center before the scheduled exam date, I still ended up doing poorly on the test. Now, I know a couple of other students who did poorly as well, so I know I'm not alone in being challenged in this sort of evaluation. It's just brutal and hilarious at the same time how I went through the logistical work of setting up reasonable accommodations for my diagnosed issues, and did the regular work of studying for the exam, and still had to endure a bad grade. At this point in my life (a male in his late 20's), I know my strengths and weaknesses cognitively, as well as my interests, so perhaps I can improve in certain areas within my control.

This life and its outcomes can be so absurd and ridiculous. Rant over. Thanks for reading. Take care.

This rant is an exaggeration, but I still feel that I can't do anything right. At the very least, the ratio of things that I do right compared to the things that I do wrong is low compared to the ratio of neurotypicals/high IQ people. In addition to a relatively low IQ, I suffer from disabilities/impairments, so my life is basically a game set to insanity difficulty mode without any possible option to change that type of intensity/difficulty. When one screws things up as much as I do, then one naturally feels discouraged to try new things or try old things again, especially if the outcome can be extremely bad. Anyways, I just wanted to express my frustration and anger. Thanks for reading. Take care.

In everyday life, there are phrases people say to each other like, "You don't have a life (outside of school and/or working)," or ,"You should start living instead of just existing." Now, almost anyone, even high IQers/neurotypicals, would say that life has ups and downs/an ebb and flow in regards to positive and negative experiences, so not everything can be enjoyable. Yet, it seems that people are almost expected to have something exciting/something to look forward to in life beyond the usual duties and responsibilities, if possible. It might be a spoiled first-world country attitude to think that life is more than just grinding hard at studying and working, but "fighting" for a better life in terms of doing as well as possible with the "cards" dealt to us in terms of IQ, talent, and other useful traits and barely getting by does make me think about how I'm missing out on the finer things in life. I'm not saying I'm entitled to amazing rewards and experiences automatically; it just sucks to give my personal endeavors my all and not get much out of it on average.

Perhaps wanting nicer things in life is a form of hedonism. I wonder what y'all think about this question or feel about this rant of mine. Take care.

As someone who frequently posts here about my struggles, fails, and my reactions to such events, I definitely have some psychological pain reliving those memories whenever something triggers a flashback. I assume that every individual deals with psychological trauma differently, so there's no straightforward answer on processing, framing, or coping with a painful past. However, since a lot of my past problems were directly caused by my cognitive problems, I wonder if anyone here has struggled to make sense of those events? Like, a lot of us already would say that we were born with a relatively low IQ by chance, and thus that makes it impossible to achieve certain milestones. I'm specifically asking about making sense of the past on a deeper, perhaps philosophical, level. For instance, some people believe in a just world, and also in divine/spiritual/higher powers, and come up with a conclusion that their suffering in the form of failing in academics or the workplace is due to bad karma from committing heinous acts in a past life. I personally don't believe in such a conclusion, nor can I definitely prove or disprove such a worldview, but I can see the merit of such a thought process/belief.

I was raised in the Catholic faith, and still practice and believe in it to an extent to this day. For me, it's a bit difficult to think about how God could have allowed needless suffering to happen. Perhaps academic and workplace failures are not that important in the grand scheme of the Catholic/Christian worldview. Nowadays, I personally think that the universe (or whatever higher power that rules the cosmos) is amoral in the sense that good things can happen both to good and bad people and bad things can happen both to bad and good people. I guess another explanation for our outcomes is that genetic recombination and other events influencing the genetic makeup of every individual unfortunately lead to some people having an inadequate amount of intelligence for the important responsibilities and paths in life. I'm not advocating for any particular religious belief system; just giving context to my life and my thought process. I hope someone can resonate with what I wrote down. Thanks for reading. Take care.

This morning, I was talking to my parents about how things (e.g., healthcare paths, STEM courses) are very difficult for me, and how not everyone is going to have a top-tier career like physician or engineer or programmer. Understandably, my parents got upset, talked about how the children of their friends became successful career-wise despite being dealt with difficult "cards" in life (e.g., being born to poor parents, to uneducated parents, or dealing with chronic physical illness), and sort of minimized my very real, significant complaints.

Thinking about such a disagreement, I started to realize that my worldview/mindset is very different, perhaps even oppositional, to that of most people in the broader community I live in. Now, it's common, normal, and natural for people to hold different opinions, stances, and dreams, so my ideological disagreement may not be a big deal. However, I'm just curious if anyone else here has experienced strong verbal disagreements with others about how life works, what's easy and what's hard, and what path one should do if possible. This question relates to the struggle of dyslexia because I think that anyone who suffers failure and defeat due to an uncontrollable trait (e.g., dyslexia, ADHD, other neurological variations) would naturally go against conventional, traditional notions of success and avoid those paths (or rather be forced to fail out of them). Thanks for reading and take care.

This morning, I was talking to my parents about how things (e.g., healthcare paths, STEM courses) are very difficult for me, and how not everyone is going to have a top-tier career like physician or engineer or programmer. Understandably, my parents got upset, talked about how the children of their friends became successful career-wise despite being dealt with difficult "cards" in life (e.g., being born to poor parents, to uneducated parents, or dealing with chronic physical illness), and sort of minimized my very real, significant complaints.

Thinking about such a disagreement, I started to realize that my worldview/mindset is very different, perhaps even oppositional, to that of most people in the broader community I live in. Now, it's common, normal, and natural for people to hold different opinions, stances, and dreams, so my ideological disagreement may not be a big deal. However, I'm just curious if anyone else here has experienced strong verbal disagreements with others about how life works, what's easy and what's hard, and what path one should do if possible. This question relates to the struggle of a relatively low IQ because I think that anyone who suffers failure and defeat due to an uncontrollable trait (like one's cognitive capacity) would naturally go against conventional, traditional notions of success and avoid those paths (or rather be forced to fail out of them). Thanks for reading and take care.

While planning out (around a couple of weeks ago) my near-future and thinking about what I can possibly qualify for in terms of careers and further schooling, I was talking to my parents about how I have bad grades from past schools and that my stats (e.g., college course grades, volunteering, interning) are, sadly, really poor and bad in comparison with those of others. My dad then responded that I wasn't born with many beneficial traits (e.g., high IQ, high potential/talent, good looks/tall stature). I think there might have been a mention of God as well, but I'm not asking or debating religion or the existence of higher powers/divine intervention. I'm asking if the people in this sub think that they were born with not much to work with.

What I mean by my question is that, normally, people say that the world doesn't owe you things/you're not entitled to premium, deluxe, prestigious, high caliber, or top-tier rewards, jobs, schools, or status/recognition. Instead, people should work hard (or study hard), and earn whatever they can, and the type of reward/outcome is supposed to correlate with one's level of effort, skill, and resources put into an endeavor. However, if you're born with a low IQ, born into a family that doesn't have much money, or born without an employable, lucrative talent/potential, then you're screwed in the sense that it's probably impossible to achieve certain things, even if you give your all in regards to your efforts and skills. Despite all the bad events and failures that happened in my life, I still appreciate the idea of hard work and playing by the rules. I just think that situations such as being born with undesired traits or a lack of potential are plainly unfair and impossible to improve by sheer willpower. Thanks for reading and take care.

Ever since I barely finished a college degree in one of the humanities, I have had an uneventful life in the sense that I still do not have a great job offer or long-term, further schooling set-up. When I mention hatred or aversion in the title, I think another way to phrase those emotions is pickiness when it comes to what is available in the job market for me that I qualify for. Now, I think I do have low energy and anhedonia, so I basically feel lethargic and unenthusiastic about a lot of things in life, sometimes even for normally fun things like TV shows, movies, and video games. I'm just asking the question in the title because I wonder if suffering failure and defeat due to a relatively low IQ causes or leads one to reject and hate a lot of activities in life, even if they aren't so bad. Thanks for reading and take care.

In this short post, I wonder if anyone here thinks they can learn better if they an interact with something in a 3-D manner (e.g., model kits, touching, using multiple senses). I think everyone has a different learning style, but I wonder if this demographic of a relatively low IQ can do better in various tasks through physical interaction and not just traditional, conventional reading, writing, speaking, and doing mathematical calculations. Thanks for reading and take care.

As people lacking in cognitive prowess, we definitely know what it's like to fail or struggle at things that naturally come smoothly to others. However, I recently started to reflect on the effect one's IQ/cognition has on one's relative status. A lot of people want prestigious jobs or roles because they convey status (along with other benefits/rewards such as job stability, high pay, and health insurance). Obviously, we tend not to get prestigious roles, sometimes not even okay roles. Thus, it's a safe conclusion that most of us are "bottom of the barrel" in regards to the ladder/hierarchy of status in society. Personally, I'm emotionally okay with not being at the top, as I don't need it (even though society always strives to get to the top).

It did suck to go from being told by my parents that I would do really well in school and get into a prestigious career like physician to trying to survive and being okay with modest things. Does anyone feel or think similarly? I just wanted to have a change of topic in this subreddit. Thanks for reading and take care.

Generally speaking, it's good to plan things out in detail, especially for important, bigger tasks. However, given my bad life experiences, I noticed that even well-thought out plans can fail in the sense that life is dynamic, and there are things or phenomena out of one's control. With all that in mind and lived through, I think it might be reasonable to have thorough planning for one's responsibilities and also keep in mind that not everything desired will come to pass, and thus adapting will be required. Does anyone here feel the same or can relate? Take care.

What I'm getting at specifically is that I'm considering doing a master's degree in one of the Allied Health fields. However, I still have prerequisites to do, and my college GPA was not the best (I recently graduated in one of the humanities but that took forever and there were a lot of terrible experiences within the past). At this point in my life (I'm a man in his late 20's), I don't think there's a path out there that will fully suit me or anything that's 100% good for me (by my standards/criteria).

I start those prerequisite courses at a community college soon, and I have looked at Canvas and made sure my logistical tasks are done (e.g., parking permit, online textbook). Can anyone here relate?

Recently, a distant cousin from my mom's side of the family visited, and it was an overall pleasant experience. Luckily, this relative didn't judge me or say anything too harsh about my lack of a conventional job offer at this moment. I asked him about his career path, and it basically boiled down to him being good at math, which led to him studying computer science, and now he works as a programmer. When I asked him logistically how he got his current job, he said when he was in college, which must have been many years ago, the job market for CS grads was a lot better, and he had an internship during the end of college, which led to his full-time job offer. What's funny is that I actually did have a short-term internship/volunteering position to fulfill a requirement in my bachelor's program, but I never made it into a full-time career, and at this point, I don't think I have a strong interest in doing so (the specific field of the internship was non-profit charity work/data entry).

I think it's normal and natural for everyone's path to be different, but it's still interesting to hear and become aware that other people may have been on a similar path to yours, but ended up going in a different direction. Take care.

About two days ago I was informed that a distant cousin of mine on my mom's side of the family is visiting later today (he's from the American South I think). I think normies might have a positive attitude towards random family visits and hangouts, but for a NEET like me, I'm filled with dread as I don't really know what to do or say (besides helping to set up a temporary bedroom for him). Has anyone else cringed at the thought or event of family members coming by unexpectedly?

For context, I'm a male in his late twenties living in Southern California. My parents are immigrants from a country in Southeast Asia, and are pretty old relative to my age (dad is in his late 70's and mom is in her late 60's). Recently, after dinner, my mom verbally blew up on me because I apparently told sensitive matters to aunts when they visited. I acknowledge that I perhaps shared too much information involving personal matters, but I don't think anyone or their reputation was seriously hurt by my sharing of events and words and feelings. I do think that sometimes family members argue over legitimate matters, such as the distribution of money, but I didn't really add fuel to any pre-existing fires metaphorically speaking.

Now, things are complicated because I seriously think my mom suffers from Alzheimer's disease or some form of working memory deficit (e.g., forgets her iPhone, keys, small items). She kept repeating her point, and I did eventually apologize for oversharing, but she kept saying things until my dad stepped in and I mentioned my busy life (I struggle with diagnosed disabilities/impairments, so I have had a very difficult time in school and other matters, which I'm currently trying to navigate through).

I'm no angel nor saint when it comes to being a son or student or (hopeful) worker, but I just wonder if Asian parents, or immigrant parents, seemingly make family arguments or problems worse than they need to be. Thanks for reading and take care.