Do you think different parenting has a big impact on the future of a relationship?
Tldr; we have had different parenting and I don't know if we can work it out.
My boyfriend 21/M and I 19/F have been together for a little over 6 months now.
We don't fight often because we communicate. He values my opinions, helps me with anything and always tries to be a good boyfriend. Other way around the same. We both feel secure and loved. So our relationship is pretty good so far and I think and hope it will last with our effort.
But there is something that worries me, and I am scared it will have an impact on our relationship: We had different parenting.
I come from a wealthy family and I grew up with a different attitude towards life than he did. My family wasn't always wealthy, but most of my life. I do value a lot of things in life and at most more than others do, but it's hard not taking specific things for granted if you grew up with them your whole life, and I don't mean always getting the newest phone or a car, I can't even name these things because as I am told, it just "lies in the attitude of rich people". I am also not as disciplined as he or his whole family is and my attitude towards life is more easy-going or slack in comparison to what his parents have taught him, because I could always do whatever I want whenever I want and did not suffer any consequences. So I naturally grew up thinking "I can do anything I want" even when I know now that I can't. And that is a big issue I think.
His family didn't have a lot of money with him growing up I think, but now they have enough money to buy a nice house and always have lots of food at home. His parents are very disciplined and for them, there is no room for mistakes whatsoever. They made sure their kids get that pov too. His dad recently started to get annoyed at me, at things I do and told my bf something like "she's lazy, undisciplined and her attitude towards life is ignorant. Why not choose someone better?" And that had me thinking. His dad thinks I will "erase his potential" in some way if we stay together and that he will become "undisciplined" like me. With the laziness he means taking painkillers when I'm in pain because one doesn't have to take them and they're bad for you (I have endometriosis and literally end up in the hospital when not taking them) or because I'm on my phone a lot. I have about 2-5 hours of screentime a day, varies a lot.
To give you a better understanding of my lifestyle: I major biomedicine, I do sports at least 3 times a week and meanwhile I work part time. I have worked hard for the life I have and I am happy, and he tells me I'm lazy for taking painkillers or asking my boyfriend to eat up the plate if I'm too full for finishing it because "it's a rich persons lifestyle". I think that's rude but I can't change his view on me.
Personally I think what your parents have taught you is a part of your identity, even if it is having "no discipline" and be "ungrateful" for me. I am happy with how I am because I know that I'm a good person. I didn't choose my parenting, so it's not my fault. I can just try to be a better person for both of us, which I already do but I could never be as disciplined as he is because I just didn't learn it that way. Childhood shapes you.
Even tho I am scared this will have a big impact on our relationship in the future, he tells me we can work it out because he does value discipline but it doesn't have to be my top-priority. I mean my personality isn't just "no discipline and lazy" but it could still affect us long term.
What do you think?