u/No-Mango-8891

I figured out I was a type 5 because I focused on my desire, motivation, and fear, which aligned with type 5. At the same time, I see people saying that sx5 can’t be high volition. Plus, I don’t look for a partner because the world is too much, I can handle myself. Everything I’ve read says sx5 looks for a partner as an anchor. Please help, I’m confused af. (LII INTP 584 sx/sp LVEF Melancholic-Choleric RLOEI)

I figured out my true enneagram type by identifying my fear, motivation, and desire, but do I do the same with my tritype? Why are the descriptions so behaviour based if the behaviour doesn’t matter? Can I be a tritype if I act nothing like the description say, only that I connect with the fear, motivation, and desire?

I have tried sx6, sx8, sx5, sx4, so8, sp5, and sx3, and absolutely nothing feels right. I know I carry clear traits from all of them, but I do not neatly align with how any single core type behaves.
Plus, any time I think I might have a core type down, it completely contradicts my Psychosophy type, which is LVEF. My mind is too logical, independent, and analytical for the emotionally explosive types, but I am too intense and focused on merging and autonomy for the withdrawn types.

Hey everyone, I have hit an absolute wall trying to figure out my PY type.
Here is how I interact with each category:
LOGIC (L):
I am confident in my own internal logic and use it to dismantle complex situations. If someone presents a logical argument that makes objective sense, I don't get insecure or anxious about my intelligence. I completely understand it and am entirely willing to change my opinion. I use my logic to dictate my physical world based on utility.
EMOTION (E):
My relationship with emotion is hard to describe. I feel intense emotions frequently, but I can also easily and willingly disconnect from them until my mind goes completely blank. I cry randomly over tiny, useless things, but when it happens, I don't feel connected to the emotion at all (Not always, but a lot of the time). My eyes simply water while my mind watches from the outside. I can feel nothing for something super important, but feel a ton for something not important. I value authenticity and crave deep vulnerability with people I trust, but I hate the idea of being seen as weak by people I don't trust.
PHYSICS (F):
I care a lot about the material world, which makes it hard to put this low. Music is my entire life and soul because of what it makes feel, and I love curating and dressing in my specific aesthetic. I would tolerate being a bit uncomfortable if it meant looking cool. I hate a messy space, but at the same time, my room is messy because quite frankly I'm lazy to clean it constantly and it isn't a priority.
VOLITION (V):
I am extremely bothered and derailed if anyone tries to control me or tell me what to do, especially authority figures using power selfishly. I have a strong urge to stand up to them. I have a deep desire to lead and protect rather than be average. I'm fine with people taking on roles to help me, teach me, etc, as long as they don't try using it in a negative way.
A big problem is that I have been almost completely isolated for a long time due to severe social anxiety, which started around age 11. Because of this, it feels like my anxiety has become a massive part of who I am, and it's impossible to tell what my true, natural personality traits are versus what is just a survival mechanism.
Any input on how these pieces fit together would be massively appreciated.

I just turned 17 and I don't know if I'm transgender. I prefer basically everything about being a man over a woman. I want their presence, I want their voice, I want their strength, etc. I say I'm not sure, because I can't tell if I genuinely want to be a man, or if I just hate how women are perceived. I know I'd be much happier if I were born a man, and when someone refers to me as a guy or with he/him pronouns, I feel an intense wave of euphoria. I'm just scared it's not actually what I want and I'm just a woman who is masculine. I wouldn't like that, because I'd still just be a woman, but again, is it just because of society? Is it valid to call myself transgender even if it is just societal?

What do I do if I don’t feel completely strong in one aspect, and also not unbothered by one aspect? It feels incorrect to put any in first and 4th placements.

so/sx 8w7 864 VLEF x/L/O[E]x Chaotic Good/Neutral?
If I change a single system, it misses a part of who I am. I’d love to talk with another person about it if anyone is willing?