u/No-Way-5622

​Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice from anyone who might have been in a similar situation or knows how this works from a bureaucratic/medical standpoint.

​I asked my primary care physician (family doctor) if she could provide me with a document or medical report summarizing my various health conditions—both physical and mental. I don't need it for a specific institution right now, nor is it an emergency, but I simply want to have this documentation in my personal medical files for my own future protection and peace of mind.

​My doctor’s response was a flat "no." She dismissed the request by saying that for the mental health side of things, a psychiatrist has to do it (completely ignoring the fact that I asked for a general overview that includes physical conditions as well) and that she doesn't have the time due to having too many urgent patients.

​Since these medical issues and vulnerabilities are real and have already been diagnosed over time, I want to figure out my next steps.

​Has anyone here managed to get a similar summary document from their family doctor? Are they required to provide it, or can they legitimately refuse due to "lack of time"? ​If the primary doctor refuses, who should I go to in order to get an official clinical overview? Do I absolutely have to pay for private visits with individual specialists, or are there other ways?

​Thanks in advance to anyone who can share their experience or advice.

Hey, does anyone know the Chaos computer club and it´s a member of it? Or eventually is involved in the good hackers scenario here in berlin? thanks

Hi everyone, I am looking for a very specific, solid professional for a private therapy journey. I am currently trying out a therapist, but I want to do a thorough screening anyway and build a list of qualified professionals to contact if things don't work out with my current one.

I am looking for an experienced, thick-skinned psychologist/psychotherapist who is fluent in English.

Here are my essential requirements:

• Specialization: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
• Approaches required: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Schema Therapy, or EMDR.
• Background: I am already seeing a psychiatrist and I am on supportive medication (antidepressants), so I need someone who is used to working in synergy with psychiatrists or who, at the very least, has no prejudice against medication.

What I am looking for on a human level: I’ve already had several experiences with therapy in the past that didn't work out because that mental "click" I needed never happened. To be completely honest, I am highly demanding and a tough nut to crack. I am not looking for rookies who want to use me as a "clinical guinea pig" or who rigidly apply textbook theories. I need someone who radiates extreme calmness, security, and stability, and who knows how to handle intense emotions.

If you are a psychotherapist who isn't afraid to face complex monsters, or if you know someone with these exact characteristics, please leave a comment.

Thank you to anyone who can help!

Hi guys, I'm looking for someone who belongs to an association that can help me for free with red tape/paperwork (Jobcenter, Agentur für Arbeit, etc.) and other matters, including free interpreting services. Let me know if you know anyone. Thanks ✨

Hi guys, hope you are doing well. I have a struggle because at the moment I'm trying to study for a certification, but I have no time and energy to do it, but i still have to do it and i have to pass it. What is your study methodology to be sure to pass the exam? Do you use any tools that help you study better? Thanks

​Hi everyone, I’m posting here because I really need some advice and to know if anyone else experiences this. It’s making me feel terrible about myself.

​I attend a support group for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Usually, we meet as a group, but recently I hung out one-on-one with a girl from the group. She’s really sweet. While I was talking about my own stuff, everything was fine. But the moment the focus shifted and she started opening up about her personal life, I felt a massive wave of anxiety out of nowhere after a while. It didn't even stop there—the anxiety triggered a really bad headache.

​The thing is, she wasn't saying anything tragic or triggering; it was just normal personal sharing. And this isn't a one-time thing either. It happens to me a lot with different people: as soon as someone starts confiding in me, my body goes into panic mode.

​This makes me feel like an absolute piece of sh*t and a total hypocrite. I genuinely want to be a good friend and listen, but my body’s reaction makes me feel so guilty, like I'm incredibly selfish and only capable of empathy when it's about me.

​Has anyone else experienced this? Is it an emotional overload thing, a defense mechanism, or am I just a bad person? How do I handle this without feeling sick and anxious every time?

​Thanks to anyone who reads or replies.

​

Hi everyone,

is there anyone who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder who feels comfortable telling me how they got it and who they went to here in Berlin, or online within Germany? I am looking for someone who can diagnose me, preferably someone who speaks English. Please comment on this post and I will drop you a PM / write to you privately, thanks

​

Hi everyone. I’m having an existential crisis right now and honestly, I don’t know how to get out of it. I’m just tired of everything. I’ve been depressed since the day I was born, and I’ve always felt like life is one big fucking scam. I had my first thoughts of wanting to disappear when I was 8 years old. I constantly feel surrounded by awful people, people with the IQ of a brick. I’ve always hated my life from the very beginning. I’ve had very few "happy or peaceful" moments, and they were always short-lived. The only reason I’m still here is that I literally lack the courage to just end it all. I take antidepressants, which help me function, but they don't make me happy. I’m not in therapy because I’m unemployed and I simply can’t afford it. I’ve cut a lot of people out of my life due to incompatibility or because I just thought they were assholes. I don't want kids, I've never wanted them, I hate kids and everything surrounding them. I’m practically alone, and I live in a country that isn't my home country.

My parents still live back home, and they are getting older. I harbor a permanent, deep resentment toward them for bringing me into this shitty world, surrounded by a subpar reality, with no friends and no love. I hate the fact that they condemned me to this miserable life full of poverty, uncertainty, wars, financial instability, and sadness. For years, my mother treated me like garbage—basically my whole life until I finally moved out when I was 26. Now that I don’t live with them anymore, she has basically turned into a golden retriever puppy: all sweet, affectionate, and clingy. Of course, she doesn’t remember all the times she dumped her frustration on me; she outright denies it ever happened. My grandmother (her mother) died a year ago, so I had to watch my mother suffer, cry, and go through immeasurable grief. Then, a few days ago, my uncle (her brother) had a stroke. He is still alive—he can’t move or speak, but he is alert and understands—but this was another heavy blow for my mother. Now she has become even hungrier for affection with me and my sister, saying things like "you girls are my only strength" or "as long as you two are okay, I’m okay."

But I’m not okay, and I will never be okay. The only thing I want to do is check out of this life, so the fact that she relies so heavily on my sister and me feels like a massive weight on my shoulders. And of course, let’s not even talk about the fact that eventually, I’m going to have to endure her and my father dying. They are the only people in my life because, apart from them, I have zero support network. This just makes me think about what selfish, cursed, bastard pieces of shit they are for condemning me to this fate—forcing me to watch them die before me, condemning me to be the caretaker of their old age when I never wanted or asked for this role. Deep down, I love them, but when they die (and who knows how it will happen—accident, old age, illness), I will deeply hate them for condemning me to this suffering. I don’t think I can accept this. The more my mother sends me sweet, needy texts, the more I hate her for treating me like shit my whole life and for trapping me in this miserable existence where, eventually, she will just die, wash her hands of it, and leave me behind to cry over her death and the loneliness she left me in. Honestly, for this reason alone, she deserves for me to find the strength to just stop fighting and leave this world first, just so I’m not the one left getting fucked over in the end...

At the same time, I feel the massive pressure to support her given the hard times she is going through. But I have absolutely no desire to do it because I am hurting so fucking bad myself. I hate her and I resent her because my life is going terribly, and no matter how much I try to move forward and fix things, nothing gets fixed. I’m 30 years old and I’m still living a precarious, unhappy life. I honestly don't know what to do, and I don't know what other perspective to look at this situation from. If you have any advice other than "go to therapy," I’m curious to hear it. I'll be reading your replies. Thank you.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some insights, specifically from a certain group of people: those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Do you use cannabis? If so, what has your experience been like? Does it make you feel better? Do you take any prescription medications in addition to cannabis?

Also, how do you consume it (smoking, edibles, tea/infused drinks)? Have you noticed any side effects, addiction, or just that feeling of "I can't get through the day without it"?

Thanks to anyone who replies!

Hi everyone,

​I come from a country where sex education is basically non-existent. I had to figure out most things regarding sexual health on my own over the years, and living in Berlin has honestly taught me a lot.

​Just for context: I get tested regularly and I always use condoms, which I know is the only way to prevent most STIs and avoid pregnancies. However, I’m also painfully aware that even with a condom, you can still catch certain things, like Herpes or HPV.

​Currently, I’m single and trying to live a normal, chill sex life. Ideally, I’d love to find a stable partner. But as we all know, the Berlin dating scene is a minefield: you constantly meet confused people who don’t know what they want, or guys who claim they want a relationship just to get into your bed.

​Now, I don't want to become a nun or swear a vow of celibacy lol. I want to enjoy my life and have sex when it happens, but without feeling like every hookup is a threat to my health.

​Realistically, the only tools we have are condoms and asking partners if they’ve been tested. But condoms can break, and people can lie. Plus, let's be honest: when you’ve been out with someone a few times and there is amazing chemistry, it feels like a total mood-killer to say, 'Wait, show me a paper proving you're clean before we do anything.'

​So, my question to you all is: how do you navigate this? How do you protect your sexual health and peace of mind while dating in Berlin without becoming a nun? How do you bring up the STI talk naturally without ruining the vibe, and how do you handle the anxiety of 'what if they lied?'

​Would love to hear your experiences and advice. Thank you! ❤️

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well. I’m writing this because I’m currently going through a bit of an existential/mystical crisis here in Berlin. The German job market and the constant daily struggle to get things done here have completely drained my energy, and I’m seriously considering relocating to Poland (I just came back from a tech fair there and loved the vibe).

Before making any big, crazy decisions, I really want to hear some real-life experiences to weigh the pros and cons. I would love to chat and ask a few questions to:

1. Polish people currently living in Berlin (to get your perspective on the differences in lifestyle, welfare, and culture).
2. Non-Polish people who previously lived/worked in Poland and then moved to Berlin.
3. Non-Polish people who moved from Poland to Berlin but are now seriously thinking about moving back to Poland.

If anyone fits these descriptions or knows someone who does, please comment below or send me a DM! I would highly appreciate your insights, advice, or even just sharing a coffee/drink to chat.

Thank you so much! 🤍

Hi everyone,

​I’m currently feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted, and I’m looking for a quiet place in Berlin where I can just spend some time around animals, specifically rabbits.

​Does anyone know of any petting zoos (Streichelzoo), community farms (Kinderbauernhof – even if they are for kids, if adults can visit quietly), or animal sanctuaries in the Berlin AB zone where this is possible?

​I just really need some peaceful "animal therapy" and a break from the city noise. Any recommendations would be highly appreciated.

​Thank you so much!

​

Hi everyone,

I don't want situational advice or a list of clever comebacks to memorize. What I actually need is a complete psychological rewire. I want to know how to develop an automatic "bitch mindset"—a state of mind where standing up for myself and cutting people off isn't a stressful decision, but a default, automatic reflex.

Right now, my automatic setting is to be the "nice girl." I instinctively give 100% in relationships, which makes people feel too safe. They take me for granted, make sarcastic jokes to belittle me, or throw tantrums because they know my default reaction is to absorb it, freeze, or try to smooth things over. I hate that my brain naturally goes to "how do I fix this?" instead of "how dare you?".

I want to change my baseline programming. I want a mindset so deeply ingrained that when someone disrespects me at work or in my social circle, my automatic reaction is an immediate, cold wall. No freezing, no overthinking, no people-pleasing guilt.

For those who successfully rewired their brain:

• How did you change your automatic subconscious response? How did you stop the instinctual urge to smile, nod, or comply?
• What core belief did you have to kill within yourself to stop caring about being disliked?
• How do you achieve that "unbothered" energy where disrespect doesn't even hurt your feelings anymore, but just makes you instantly detach?

I want to know how to train my brain so that protecting my peace becomes as natural as breathing.

Thank you.

Hey everyone,

I’m pivoting into the Salesforce Marketing ecosystem, and after filtering out the advanced/niche paths (no Consultant, Developer, or Accredited Professional certs for now), I want to focus strictly on the core entry points.

My goal is to pick just one to start with—something that will make me employable without causing massive confusion as a beginner, but that also aligns with what companies are actually looking for right now.

Here are the 4 options on my radar:

The B2C Route (Marketing Cloud Engagement):

1. Marketing Cloud Engagement Foundations: (The newest, entry-level cert for basics).
2. Marketing Cloud Email Specialist: (The classic operational cert for campaigns/journeys).
3. Marketing Cloud Engagement Administrator: (The setup and backend configuration cert).

The B2B Route: 4. Marketing Cloud Account Engagement Specialist: (The core cert for the B2B/Pardot platform).

If you were in my shoes today and wanted to maximize your chances of landing a job or getting noticed by recruiters quickly, which one of these 4 would you target first? Is the B2C track (Foundations/Email/Admin) more requested than the B2B track (Account Engagement)?

Would love to hear your strategic advice. Thanks!

I prepared myself for 2 fucking months on business analyst certification using focusonforce (now k2 university). today i had the exam and i failed it. i can´t even describe the rage that i have rn, i just want to break everything. i payed for the exam and for the study material of focusonforce that has some questions so damn easy, so when i was doing the test simulation i was so proud of myself doing almost all the questions green. but then at the exam there was all these absurd questions that was so far away from the questions preparations and also there was the time (that is never enough) and also they put 5 extra questions, just to see how the users react, but in the meanwhile the time was passing. all this just to gain another certification, and give myself the possibility to result more competitive and professional in the companies eyes, since it is fucking complicated to get a job in such a competitive market. i´m so tired of competition, and for what? just to have the possibility to live and pay my bills...

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out because I’m at my wits' end. I’ve been struggling for over 3.5 years to get a formal diagnosis and consistent treatment for what I strongly suspect is BPD. I keep getting bounced around from one doctor to another, and I feel like I'm stuck in an endless loop of "we aren't taking new patients" or "we don't specialize in this."

I’m looking for insights from anyone in Berlin who has successfully navigated the public healthcare system for BPD. Specifically:

• Diagnosis: Where did you go to get diagnosed using public insurance? Are there specific clinics (Institutsambulanzen) or diagnostic centers you’d recommend?
• Therapy: Have you found a therapist who specializes in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that accepts public insurance?
• Support Groups: Are there any free or insurance-covered support groups (English or German) that you’ve found helpful?
• The "System": Is there a specific "pathway" I’m missing? (e.g., going through a Sozialpsychiatrischer Dienst or a specific hospital wing).

Note: I’m currently not in a financial position to go private, so I really need options that work with the statutory health insurance (GKV).

I’m exhausted by the search, so any lead—no matter how small—would mean the world to me. Thank you in advance.

Hi everyone,

​I’m writing this because I’ve reached a point where I need to hear from those who, like me, have chosen Berlin not as a playground, but as a home.

​I’ve been living here for a while, and as I hit my 30s, I’m facing a dilemma that feels particularly heavy in this city. We all know the "Berlin trope": people come here for the chaos, the hedonism, the drugs, and the "limitless" lifestyle. They burn out, they use the city, and then they leave to find "balance" elsewhere.

​The thing is: I don’t need to find balance because I’m already sober and "normal." I don’t do drugs, I don’t party every weekend, and I’m here to stay. I want to build roots.

​However, I’m finding it incredibly hard to build what I call a "Chosen Family."

​Right now, my social circle is made of acquaintances, but no real support system. At 30, I’m seeing the typical shift: old friends disappearing into relationships/parenthood, or me cutting ties with people as I gain more self-awareness and stop accepting disrespect.

​I’ve always dreamed of that "Friends" or "HIMYM" dynamic—a group of adults who are there for each other by choice, not just for a drink on a Friday night, but for the "bad day" phone calls.

​My questions to the long-term Berliners here:

​Have you managed to find or build a "Chosen Family" here that doesn't revolve around the clubbing/party scene? ​For those in their 30s+ who are "sober" or lead a quiet life: where did you meet people who share this long-term vision of community? ​What does your "Chosen Family" look like in a city that feels so transient and sometimes cold?

​I’m tired of the "Berlin loneliness" and I’d love to hear your experiences—whether you succeeded or are still searching.

Hi everyone! I think I might have accidentally "over-pampered" my snails and now I’m worried about their behavior.

Lately, I’ve noticed that they’ve become extremely passive. They stay retracted in their shells for most of the day and don't seem to go looking for food on their own anymore. However, as soon as I pick them up, mist them, or move them near the food area, they wake up immediately and start eating happily.

It feels like they’ve lost their "natural spark" and are just waiting for me to act as their waiter/personal trainer.

• Has anyone else experienced this kind of behavioral conditioning?
• Is it possible for snails to become "too reliant" on human interaction?
• Should I stop intervening and let them stay retracted until they get hungry enough to move on their own?

I love my slime babies and I don't want them to become "unfit" for a normal snail life! Any advice on how to encourage more independence would be appreciated.