u/No_Implement5685

What was his life before he joined the akademia? Who are his mother and father? His family?

Friends, I honestly see myself as right, but that’s from my own perspective. Maybe I’m wrong, so read it objectively and tell me if I am wrong.

I’ve felt like a burden and an extra person to my family and environment since childhood. I was raised like that. No one in my family valued each other. I never received value from anyone, I could never get into anyone’s good graces. I was already an ugly and unlikable girl. Even when changing a carpet, my family would ask the neighbor’s opinion, not mine. Even if I gave my opinion, it wouldn’t be taken seriously. I wasn’t treated like a human being.

Because of this, I always kept my distance from them. When I had a problem, I kept it inside. When I cried, I hid it. I never shared my happiness with anyone. I was never a spoiled child. I would want clothes and toys, but I never asked even once, I didn’t ask for money either. My mother even says things about me to people like “there’s money everywhere with her” in a strange way in English, meaning I don’t spend money. They think of me like a robot, but inside I have so many things going on and they know nothing. They don’t know if I’m happy, sad, angry, hurt, or stressed. I never show it. Because they never care. That’s how I am.

Due to family reasons I had to leave school. After that I looked for a job but couldn’t find one, and I’ve been looking for a year. I don’t know why, no one hires me. I’m at the point where I feel like I’m going crazy, let’s say at a very low point. Even though my father has connections everywhere, he never once said “go there, go here, I’ll talk, they’ll hire you.” He knew I was looking for a job, he knew I left school because I had no job, that I couldn’t get a driver’s license, that I couldn’t go out, that I couldn’t buy things, because I had no money for all these, my whole family knows all of this, but no one extended a helping hand.

And like I said, I’m the kind of person who wouldn’t ask for help even if I were starving to death. Knowing this about me, seeing my situation, not even once did my father, mother, or sisters offer help.

And today we argued. I told them “I never received siblinghood, motherhood, or fatherhood from you. You were not with me in my hard times or my easy times.” They said “you should have asked for help, if you had told us we would have helped you, you never ask for help, you don’t explain your problems, how are we supposed to know, how are we supposed to help?” But we live in the same house, they saw I was actively looking for a job, they saw I was struggling because I had no money. If they wanted to, they could have offered help without me asking.

If I see a person dying on the street, I don’t just walk past because they didn’t ask for help.

Who do you think is right? In my opinion I am right. In theirs they are right. I don’t know.

J’ai postulé à une offre chez un opérateur téléphonique qu’on connaît tous. J’ai parlé à la responsable et meme proposé de réaliser une période de stage afin de montrer ma motivation et de familiariser avec le poste. Ça leur permettra aussi de voir si je suis adaptée au poste ou non. Cependant elle m’a dit que c’est pas elle qui décide mais le siège, que elle, elle collecte juste les CV pour les envoyer au siège et c’est eux qui décident qui embaucher. Est ce vraiment réel? La responsable n’a pas le droit de recommander quelqu’un au siège? Ou donner son avis? Ou n’aurait elle pas simplement le dernier mot et juste me mentirai?

Je suis sorti d’un cdi en tant qu’agent administratif et d’accueil il y’a 4 mois à cause de conditions de travail horrible que je ne supportais plus. Je suis en recherche d’emploi et je me suis inscrite à des agence d’intérim pour la première fois. Je ne sais pas comment ça marche. J’ai postulé hier pour une mission en administration et les candidature sont actuellement en cours d’examen. Je veux vraiment ce poste puisque j’ai de l’expérience significative et le lieu de travail est à 5 min à pied de chez moi. Est ce que je peux appeler l’agence d’intérim (qui n’est pas dans ma ville mais à 1h) pour leur dire de me prendre? Comme je vous ai dit je ne sais pas comment ça marche en interim. Est ce que ça serait mal vu si je les appelle en disant voilà j’ai postulé etc et que l’improvise un mini entretien pour expliquer ma motivation?

Je suis sorti d’un cdi en tant qu’agent administratif et d’accueil il y’a 4 mois à cause de conditions de travail horrible que je ne supportais plus. Je suis en recherche d’emploi et je me suis inscrite à des agence d’intérim pour la première fois. Je ne sais pas comment ça marche. J’ai postulé hier pour une mission en administration et les candidature sont actuellement en cours d’examen. Je veux vraiment ce poste puisque j’ai de l’expérience significative et le lieu de travail est à 5 min à pied de chez moi. Est ce que je peux appeler l’agence d’intérim (qui n’est pas dans ma ville mais à 1h) pour leur dire de me prendre? Comme je vous ai dit je ne sais pas comment ça marche en interim. Est ce que ça serait mal vu si je les appelle en disant voilà j’ai postulé etc et que l’improvise un mini entretien pour expliquer ma motivation?

I’m 22 and I’m getting married in 5 months. I want advice and to talk to people because I don’t really have anyone in my family or circle to open up to. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my mother since we’ve never had that kind of relationship. My sisters are not married and my friends aren’t either.

I grew up in a family where we barely communicated. My father stayed in his room, my mother in the living room, my sisters in their rooms, and I stayed in mine. We didn’t eat together, we rarely spoke, and when we did it was usually arguments. We lived like strangers under the same roof. Since I was young, I always dreamed of the opposite kind of family. I promised myself I would build something different. A loving marriage. A husband who loves me and whom I love deeply. A relationship with respect where problems can be solved, where there is no violence. If I have children one day, I want to be present, to educate them, love them, laugh with them, spend time with them, and be there when they struggle so they don’t feel alone like I did. I would be devastated if at night, in their rooms, they silently cry and suffer, just like me, wondering why they have a family like mine. I would genuinely see my life as a failure.

I’ve always been religious. I pray, I fast, I try to stay away from things I consider wrong, and I’ve never been close to men except my fiancé. He seems similar in that sense. He prays, teaches Quran to children, and is known in our town as a good religious person.

But now I’m scared. In 5 months I will get married and I feel anxious. I’m afraid of changing my routine. I don’t know what life will look like after marriage. I’m afraid of the wedding night. I cry at night because of stress. I feel a heavy pressure in my stomach when I think about it, and I don’t fully understand why.

Everything is already ready. The families get along well, the wedding expenses are covered, the preparations are done: wedding dress, venue, organization, house, furniture, everything is bought. From the outside, there is nothing that should cause stress or worry.

I need advice from people who have been through this. What helped you adjust to married life? How do you deal with moving from your parents’ house to living with a husband? How do you adapt to new daily habits, responsibilities at home, sleep routines, hygiene, and intimacy?

I just want honest advice.

I’m 22 and I’m getting married in 5 months. I want advice and to talk to people because I don’t really have anyone in my family or circle to open up to. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my mother since we’ve never had that kind of relationship. My sisters are not married and my friends aren’t either.

I grew up in a family where we barely communicated. My father stayed in his room, my mother in the living room, my sisters in their rooms, and I stayed in mine. We didn’t eat together, we rarely spoke, and when we did it was usually arguments. We lived like strangers under the same roof. Since I was young, I always dreamed of the opposite kind of family. I promised myself I would build something different. A loving marriage. A husband who loves me and whom I love deeply. A relationship with respect where problems can be solved, where there is no violence. If I have children one day, I want to be present, to educate them, love them, laugh with them, spend time with them, and be there when they struggle so they don’t feel alone like I did. I would be devastated if at night, in their rooms, they silently cry and suffer, just like me, wondering why they have a family like mine. I would genuinely see my life as a failure.

I’ve always been religious. I pray, I fast, I try to stay away from things I consider wrong, and I’ve never been close to men except my fiancé. He seems similar in that sense. He prays, teaches Quran to children, and is known in our town as a good religious person.

But now I’m scared. In 5 months I will get married and I feel anxious. I’m afraid of changing my routine. I don’t know what life will look like after marriage. I’m afraid of the wedding night. I cry at night because of stress. I feel a heavy pressure in my stomach when I think about it, and I don’t fully understand why.

Everything is already ready. The families get along well, the wedding expenses are covered, the preparations are done: wedding dress, venue, organization, house, furniture, everything is bought. From the outside, there is nothing that should cause stress or worry.

I need advice from people who have been through this. What helped you adjust to married life? How do you deal with moving from your parents’ house to living with a husband? How do you adapt to new daily habits, responsibilities at home, sleep routines, hygiene, and intimacy?

I just want honest advice.

Please read this because I have nobody else I can tell, it’s a bit long.

The last 6 months of my life have felt like hell. I was always a very religious girl. I tried to follow every rule in my religion. I never skipped my prayers or fasting. Every month I tried to memorize new duas. I read and finished the Quran many times. I always focused on my studies. I never had a nightlife, never had male friends, I did not even interact with men in my own family if they were not mahram to me. My family was already very strict and harsh.

But everything changed when I was 17.

One day my cousin wanted to teach me how to drive. I had never touched a steering wheel before, I got too excited, and I accidentally crashed into another car. The car belonged to a guy I knew by name. The moment we got out of the car, even though I apologized, a fight broke out. The police got involved, insurance got involved, both families got involved, and eventually the issue was settled peacefully.

Days passed, and people started gossiping about it. We live in a small town. Everyone started talking behind my back, calling me someone who cannot drive, a potential killer, and things like that. Since neither my cousin nor I had spread the story, I had no choice but to message the guy because I was very uncomfortable. I asked him to please stop people from talking. He said the gossip did not come from him but from his family, and he apologized on their behalf.

But the problem is, instead of stopping there, we kept talking.

I do not know why. I am actually a very shy person. Unless someone talks to me first, I barely speak at all. But he kept talking to me, and for some reason I kept replying. That night we stayed up until morning texting about random things and gossiping. The next day he messaged me again with another random topic. Then the next day. Then the next. And like that, we talked every single day for 2 years. There was not one single day we did not talk. From morning until night, every day, and somehow we never ran out of things to say.

When we first started talking, I was 17 and he was 19.

And these conversations were never officially romantic. We were “just friends.” Yes, it sounds ironic coming from a girl like me, but at the time I genuinely do not know why I kept talking to him. I didn’t specially like him, or I wasn’t attached. It was as if I knew it was sinful but could not think clearly anymore.

Three months after we started talking, one night while we were on the phone I mentioned craving ice cream. At 3 AM he went from market to market looking for one, then came and brought it to my window. That night we sat by the window talking until sunrise while eating ice cream. My family was home. If they had seen us, they would have killed both of us.

That was the first time I had ever seen him that closely. When he left, my stomach was tied in knots from excitement because I had loved that moment so much.

After that we met again and again. He would pick me up secretly in hidden places with his car. We would buy my favorite foods and desserts and eat them in the car. He told me everything about himself, his problems, his family, his secrets, his past. He gave me his credit card numbers, his spare car key, told me where it was and said, “Use it however you want.” He was also the one who actually taught me how to drive.

He bought me flowers. He constantly told me I was funny and entertaining, and that he prayed for a future wife like me.

Then one day we had a huge fight over something serious. I stopped answering his messages and calls. He came to my school and literally cried while begging at my feet for forgiveness. I was shocked. I was terrified someone would see us, so I told him I forgave him just to send him away. Later we talked things through properly. He told me he was terrified of losing me and that he was losing his mind.

And honestly? I loved hearing that.

I was never someone who felt valued by my family or my surroundings. Having someone cry and beg because they were scared of losing me made me feel incredibly special. For the first time in my life, I felt loved. He was the only person who truly cared about what I said. He was the one who tolerated my moods. When we fought, he always knew how to make me feel better again.

And that is when everything became dangerous.

Even though we were supposedly just friends, none of this felt like friendship to me anymore. I knew he was deeply attached to me, and I was becoming deeply attached to him too. Even though he was not my type physically, I started finding him attractive. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I became obsessed with his intelligence, the way he talked, his sense of humor. I started imagining a future with him. I started mentioning his name in my prayers.

But the problem was, he still saw me as just a friend.

That is why I never confessed my feelings. I was too afraid of ruining everything and losing him completely.

Then one day he told me his father had found a girl for him and that they were going to meet. I could not hide my jealousy. I started overwhelming him with questions, mood swings, and anger. I became emotionally unstable. One day we were good, the next day we were terrible.

I was so jealous. Why could he not see me? And if he did see me, why would he not make a move? Why did he make me so attached to him? How was I supposed to continue my life without him?

Then one day he sent me a message saying he liked the girl and that we needed to stop talking.

And all I could do was say “okay” and sit there crying.

He gave me the happiest two years of my life.

I cried for days. During classes I would ask permission to leave just so I could cry. I cried in bed every night. I became angry at my family. Even one simple question from them irritated me. I was miserable. I could barely eat. My sleep schedule was destroyed.

I wish God had ruined my life before the day I messaged him. Or before the day I got into that car with my cousin.

It has been 6 months now. He is engaged, and his wedding is in a few months. But I still cannot forget him. Every night I pray to God to remove him from my heart, but it does not happen. I cannot take it anymore. I miss the old days like crazy. I would give anything to go back to those days.

For the first time in my life, I truly loved someone.

Before my parents got married, they had already been married once before. My mother had 2 sons from her first husband, and my father had 2 sons and 3 daughters from his first wife. I am their only child together.

My parents never managed to become a real family. Supposedly they married for love, but they never showed each other any love or respect. I grew up watching my father beat my mother, and watching my mother complain about my father morning and night while still refusing to divorce him even when she had the chance.

My father always cared about the children from his first marriage. He would go out with them, buy them gifts, and say, “I don’t want them to feel my absence.” My mother was the same. My grandmother raised her children, but my mother would secretly send them money, visit them constantly, and run to help them with every problem they had.

They were all already grown up while I was still very little, yet neither of my parents cared about me. They never wondered if their daughter was happy or unhappy, if she had problems, how school was going, how her grades were, whether she had friends, whether she needed pocket money, whether she was hungry or full, sick or healthy. They never cared.

That’s why I will never forgive either of them. If they were going to stay this devoted to their first children, why did they even have me?

I raised myself. I educated myself. I taught myself right from wrong.

Today, when people ask my father about it, he says, “Yes, I did not father my daughter.”

But when people ask my mother, she says, “I was a mother.” When we ask her what exactly she did, she says, “I fed her and I didn’t beat her. What if I had beaten her? She should be grateful I didn’t. What more does she want?” Deep inside she knows she wasn’t here for me, she just don’t accept it

Je suis titulaire d’un bac pro AGORA, anciennement gestion administration. Ma formation englobe l’administratif, la comptabilité et un peu de logistique. J’ai également 1 an d’expérience en tant qu’agent administratif et d’accueil.

Dans plusieurs agences d’intérim, je postule à des offres pour lesquelles je coche toutes les cases sauf celle du diplôme. Souvent, ils demandent un bac+2 minimum. Pourtant, mes compétences et mon expérience me permettent d’effectuer les missions sans difficulté.

Je suis notamment quadrilingue (français anglais espagnol italien) dans une ville où il y’a beaucoup d’étrangers et dont je n’aurais pas du mal à communiquer avec la plus part.

Par exemple, je postule régulièrement à des postes de conseiller clientèle. Les missions consistent à accueillir les clients au téléphone et physiquement, conseiller, effectuer des tâches administratives et financières, envoyer des courriers et des colis, etc. Toutes ces tâches faisaient partie de mon quotidien dans mon dernier poste.

Le problème, c’est qu’ils demandent souvent un bac+2 en commerce ou en vente. Je corresponds aux missions et aux compétences demandées, mais pas au niveau de diplôme. Résultat, on ne me rappelle jamais.

Je ne connais pas très bien le fonctionnement de l’intérim et je n’ai pas envie de passer pour quelqu’un d’insistant ou d’être blacklistée en appelant les agences.

Est ce que les agences acceptent parfois des candidats sans le diplôme demandé ? Est ce que vous auriez des conseils pour réussir à être recrutée sur des missions où je corresponds à tout sauf au diplôme ?

Actuellement, je recherche aussi des CDD et CDI, mais je reçois peu de réponses. Et comme les agences republient souvent les mêmes offres, j’ai l’impression qu’elles ne trouvent pas de candidats, alors que moi je ne trouve pas de travail. Je ne comprends pas pourquoi elles ne veulent pas me donner une chance.

Bonjour, bonsoir,

Je viens ici parce que j’ai vraiment besoin de conseils, je vous en supplie.

J’ai un bac pro gestion des administrations, obtenu en 2022. Ma formation comprend la gestion administrative et comptable. J’ai fait 6 mois de stage dans le même cabinet comptable, qui m’a ensuite embauchée à l’accueil. Je m’occupais de l’accueil et de tâches administratives, jusqu’à ce que l’entreprise ferme 7 mois plus tard pour déménagement.

Je n’ai pas pu continuer mes études pour des raisons financières. Je ne peux pas toucher la bourse parce que mon père gagne bien sa vie, mais mes parents sont séparés depuis des années et je n’ai aucun contact avec lui depuis que je suis petite. Malgré ça, la loi ne prend pas en compte ma situation.

Aujourd’hui, je suis bachelière avec environ 1 an d’expérience en comptabilité, accueil et administration. Et ça fait bientôt 3 ans que je cherche du travail.

Je vous jure que j’ai vraiment tout fait.

J’habite dans une ville d’environ 100 000 habitants. Je suis inscrite à la mission locale, j’ai fait des ateliers, j’ai eu un contrat de 6 mois avec une aide de 500€, puis ensuite un autre dispositif où je touche 200€ par mois juste pour assister à des rendez-vous. Mais je n’ai pas envie de vivre comme ça.

Je suis jeune et j’ai l’impression que ma vie est bloquée. Je ne peux rien faire. Je ne peux pas aider ma mère financièrement, je ne peux pas profiter, sortir ou avancer.

Je suis d’origine étrangère, j’ai un nom étranger. Pourtant, j’ai eu mon bac avec mention très bien, je suis sérieuse, j’ai des compétences, de l’expérience, j’apprends vite. Je parle plusieurs langues et j’en apprends une nouvelle en ce moment.

Je cherche dans tous les domaines. J’aimerais travailler en administration ou en comptabilité, mais honnêtement je suis prête à faire n’importe quel travail, juste pour travailler. Même si ça ne me plaît pas, je continuerai à chercher à côté.

Je suis inscrite dans toutes les agences d’intérim de ma ville. J’y retourne régulièrement pour qu’ils ne m’oublient pas. Je postule à toutes leurs offres, même quand je ne coche pas toutes les cases.

Je suis aussi inscrite dans des associations d’aide à l’insertion professionnelle.

J’ai déposé mon CV partout, plusieurs fois, dans des magasins, fast-food, entreprises, bureaux, cabinets, services publics… vraiment partout. Dans ma ville, les villes au alentours, les villages, partout.

Je postule tous les jours en ligne, sur toutes les plateformes possibles, France Travail, Indeed, LinkedIn, Météojob, Hellowork… vraiment tout.

Et pourtant, soit je n’ai aucune réponse, soit je reçois des refus automatiques.

Ça fait presque 3 ans.

Même mon conseiller était choqué, il me disait que normalement ce sont les entreprises qui devraient me chercher. D’autres conseillers pensaient que je ne faisais pas assez d’efforts, mais quand ils ont postulé à ma place, ils ont compris que personne ne répondait.

Je me fais refuser même pour des postes en fast-food ou agent d’entretien.

Je vous jure que je n’en peux plus. Je suis au bout. J’ai des pensées très sombres.

Je ne comprends pas ce qui ne va pas. J’ai refait mon CV plusieurs fois, je l’adapte à chaque offre, j’écris toujours un message ou une lettre.

Je ne comprends pas ce qui bloque.

S’il vous plaît, j’ai besoin qu’on m’explique, qu’on me dise ce qui ne va pas. Je veux juste travailler et gagner ma vie.