I have complicated feelings about today

So I’m from the US and today is the 4th of July and the US’s 250th birthday, however, I don’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, I do love this country. It’s my home. It’s where I’ve made so many memories and reached so many milestones. It’s where I was born. It offered opportunities to my family members who were immigrants escaping persecution, war, and poverty. However, lately due to the current actions of our current government, I’ve been struggling to feel pride in my country. I’ve been pretty devastated since January of 2025 and it’s been a very hard year and a half for me. I don’t know how to feel today. If I should be happy and celebrate or if I should stay home. I’m not feeling very patriotic and it sucks, but it’s true. I can’t bring myself to feel proud when the current government is straight out of an evil cartoon. I guess I just needed to rant because I feel so alone. I’m seeing everyone else celebrating. My family wants me to go to a BBQ but I feel like I’m pretending to be happy when I’m not. It’s a weird and scary feeling.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 1 day ago

I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

I don’t feel like I belong in my country for one. I’m a minority and my current government talks shit about people like me every single day. A lot of my countrymen don’t have the same values as me and I don’t feel like the culture or the government here align with my values at all. I’ve considered moving to another country where it aligns more with my values but I’ve seen countless comments online about how much people hate my nationality. Like constant cyber bullying when I mention where I’m from. So obviously I can’t move somewhere else because people will just hate me. So what does that leave me with? Not being here at all. I don’t fit in with my family either because they all have told me over and over to shut up whenever I bring up these feelings with them. I’m going off to college now too and I’m gonna be away from my friends. I just think maybe it’s time i leave fr. I’m 18 and I really want to live, but I feel like no matter where I go I won’t belong. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore and moving, people would just hate me. Please, I just need reasons to continue living. Anything. I’m desperate. I feel so alone.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 3 days ago

I’m so scared for my future

I recently graduated from high school. I’m an 18 year old from the US. Lately I’ve been really scared for my future. I also have GAD and OCD so I’m prone to worrying and anxiety but yeah. Everything is so expensive, I don’t know what to expect when I’m in college. I don’t know how I’m gonna get a job or where to start. I don’t know how I’m ever gonna afford a house. I’m also autistic so I hate change and I’m moving out of my house into a college dorm in 2 months and I’m scared. I’m scared of dating too because I’ve been taken advantage of in the past. I don’t know how I’m gonna make friends, make money, etc. the workload is gonna be insane too. I’m just rlly scared and I toss and I turn at night thinking about it. The future feels so uncertain and volatile and the world feels so scary. What do I do?

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u/No_Importance_750 — 13 days ago

I’m not trying to be dramatic, I’m being truthful. I am disappointed in my country and it’s making me extremely depressed

I’m from the US and lately I’ve been really disappointed in this country. I mean seeing the terrible and vile things our government has done to not just us but other countries as well has destroyed any hope I’ve had in humanity and the people here. I’m 18 so I’m young and naive I know but man, it’s been really difficult. I feel so hopeless. I don’t even wanna go to school anymore. Like I’m considering dropping out of college because shit just feels so pointless now. I don’t see a future for myself anymore. I’m scared. I’m so so so scared that sometimes I just cry until I’m so dehydrated that I can’t anymore. I’ve tried to be a good person. I really have. But it is so demoralizing when the country I’m from doesn’t match my morals. I know this probably sounds so pathetic but I’m just hurting so badly and there hasn’t been a day since January 2025 that I haven’t felt so angry and upset. I’ve never been one to do substances but lately I’ve been drinking to get my mind off stuff which I know isn’t good but tbh idc about my health anymore cause again, I don’t see a future for myself. I see people from other countries online praying on our downfall and as much as it hurts, I honestly can’t blame them. I don’t want that to happen but if it happens, well, I saw it coming.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 17 days ago
▲ 2 r/OCD

After almost a month of doing well on exposure therapy and resisting my compulsions, I relapsed and I’m so angry with myself

I’ve had OCD for a while and I’m tired of it. I’ve started exposure therapy and I’ve been actively avoiding my compulsions despite exposing myself to my triggers and obsessions as part of the therapy to weaken my OCD. My biggest trigger recently has been politics. That’s why I’ve been avoiding compulsively looking up news stuff but tonight I relapsed and did it again and I feel the OCD coming back in full blast. I hate myself right now.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 23 days ago

I’m losing my faith in God and it’s because of Trump

For context, I converted to Christianity when I was 17 and I really believed in it so much. Got baptized and everything. I had so much faith and I had the Holy Spirit in me. I was peaceful, forgiving, and happy. Ever since Trump got elected that has been tested deeply. Seeing all the terrible things he’s been doing has made me rethink everything. How could God let this happen? How could he allow such a person to exist? My OCD has been the worst it’s ever been because of how terrified I am over the political climate. I’ve never felt so hopeless. It’s turned into anger. I’ve become angry, vengeful, grudge holding, and hopeless. When people ask me about God now I say “I’m not so sure I believe in it anymore”. Because why should I? I’ve been suffering alone for over a year and I don’t see God helping me or all of those other people who are being harmed. It also disgusts me to see “Christians” following the literal antichrist himself, aka Donald Dumpster. A part of me is still afraid of going to hell but I’m losing my faith day by day and Trump is the cause of it. I’ve never hated a person until he showed up. I don’t just dislike him or feel angry at him. I HATE him.

Edit: ffs the ppl being bigots in the comments need to pick your moments. Do you rlly wanna poke the bear rn? You have no right to assume I was ok with bad things before this just because I’m losing my faith now. I was young. Some of you are full grown adults. Chill out.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 1 month ago
▲ 8 r/OCD

OCD feels like a bully inside my head

The title is pretty self explanatory. As someone who’s had OCD since I was like 9, which my therapist and I suspect was caused by scarlet fever, I can say that OCD is awful. It is literally a lying and taunting bully that wants to cause misery and suffering to the people it plagues. It feels like having a bully telling me that if I don’t do what it wants it’ll destroy my life. OCD drives me crazy. For an entire year I believed I was going to die if I didn’t compulsively do my bedtime rituals all because I had looked at a so-called “cursed” painting. I used to wash my hands until they would bleed and crack. I can’t eat airport food without having a gag reflex which makes it so I practically starve myself whenever I fly internationally. This is just a few examples of my OCD related struggles. The most cruel part of it is how it targets everything I love. It makes me afraid I’m going to lose everything if I don’t do everything right. My family, friends, pets, my own life, my sanity, my grades, etc. It ruins my hobbies by polluting my brain with disturbing thoughts and images that I have to counteract. It interferes with my sleep, relationships, and studies. OCD is fucked up. It’s a terrible disorder and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, even the worst people on earth. It’s a bully. It sucks.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 1 month ago

I’m really sad over the US/Canada’s current strained relationship 😞.

As an 18 year old from the US, I always loved Canada growing up. I was always extremely grateful to have Canada as a friend and neighbor. I’m autistic and one of my largest hyper fixations over the years was countries relationships with each other. I really loved having a good relationship with Canada and it made me feel happy. I’m devastated now. Now that the relationship is strained, probably for decades to come, I won’t get to experience that anymore. I’m just starting out on life and things are getting worse and worse everyday. I’m so angry at the people who caused this. I’m so ashamed as an American. This feeling, as dumb as it sounds, it’s how I feel. I’m a sentimental person so things like this really get to me. It feels incredibly lonely. Ik a lot of people online make it seem like nobody actually cares but I rlly rlly do. I love Canada and Canadians with my whole heart and saw them as family growing up. I’m so devastated now that I can’t sleep sometimes. Sorry for this, just needed to rant since I literally don’t have anyone to talk to.

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u/No_Importance_750 — 2 months ago