u/No_Indication_4045

So long story short, I was on the service van for almost 2 years. I worked with a very smart guy but he would berate me and knock me down every chance he got. He would tell me my aptitude wasn’t where it should be for my time in the trade. It made me feel bad about myself but I just kept showing up and give 100% every day. Oddly enough, I learned so much from this guy and we spent so much 1 on 1 time together I don’t think anyone knows me better. I really like him and the layoff circumstances we a a 5 minuete lapse in judgement end and no one wanted to be the one to give me my check.

Now I’m on a big site with another big company. I was scared at first and intimidated. I’ve noticed that they kind of lean on me pretty heavy and kinda expect more out of me than other JW’s. They kinda have me being the lead guy in the crew, me interpreting the prints, me making sure everything is installed right. I keep reminding them that I’m only an apprentice because I don’t want anyone to get the impression that I’m a JW. I feel pressure like if I’m not doing most of the work or pushing, nothing is going to get done.

I feel eventually I’ll grow into this role, but right now I feel like I’m not competent enough. Sometimes I still get caught up on a task and it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to figure it out. What concerns me about those times is I’m not slacking off. I’m trying 100% and sometimes I get stressed and panicked that its taking so long- leading to careless errors, making it take even longer.

This is a little long in the tooth, but where should I be as a third year? Is it normal for them to expect/rely on me this much? Am I still a “young apprentice” or am I expected to know more than what I know at this point?

I(27M) was in a relationship with a girl(25F) for 4 years. She ended the relationship about 5 or 6 months ago. It sucked but I got through it.

Throughout the time of the breakup I was downloading and deleting tinder. I had not much success except for this one chick who kept liking my profile. She had done the same thing way back before I met my girlfriend. I would try to engage with her but I would get a message or tao back but then she would stop responding.

This final time I went in with extreme confidence and managed to get a flirtatious response, her to follow me on instagram, and her phone number. I was texting her for about two days and I thought things were going super well. But then she stopped responding. I’m really bad at flirting or interacting at all with women I’m attracted to. I thought I was doing well here though. Maybe someone could PM me and look at the text thread with her and see where my misstep was or what I could do differently next time? Thanks

Hi all,

I’m a very young apprentice. Every job I have been on I’ve been around brothers who uphold the contract.

Now I’m on one of these data centers and there is a lot of people who have just organized in from non-union. All of them got the memo on no power tools except one guy.

I heard him talking about how it sucks you can’t bring your own power tools in the union. A few days later he starts showing up with power tools. A week goes by and now he has is own hard hat. I’ve also noticed he cuts his lunch short. Guy comes across as a real dick and I’m non confrontational. Problem is in my particular building things are just really starting to get going so we have only about 20 guys. 2 drills, 2 impacts and 1 bandsaw. So I get him to an extent. But at that same time I was kinda brought up thinking bringing power tools was the cardinal sin and breaking down conditions 101.

Everyone in the building with me has recently organized in. So nobody really notices it. Again I’m non-confrontational so I don’t know what the best way to handle this is. Let it go, confront him, call the hall, or tell the shop steward?

Ex broke up with me 4 months ago. I cut off contact with her for a month. Recently started talking to her and seeing her again but she says she has no lingering feelings left, didn’t miss me, hasn’t seconded guessed her decision. Why does she still have all are photos up on her Facebook and Instagram?

Recently I am out of a 4 year relationship. I’m ready to start dating again. I am terrified of women and rejection. Every women I’ve ever had a thing with has always come on to me. I’ve tried the apps and have had limited success. I’d rather just meet someone out and about…

As a 25+ male, how can I learn how to talk to and attract women? Where do single women my age hang out? How to I start a conversation with someone I find attractive without being weird. Please help!

Careful when seeking advice on here. I recently got closure/ clarity about a relationship I was posting about on here. Something clicked and I’m happy living my life now. I was posting on here and scrolling everyday hoping someone would tell me what I want to hear. It was keeping me stuck- but stuck is comfortable. Now that I have closure/clarity I’m not going to be lurking in here anymore. That means people who are moving on/ getting over it are not in here giving advice. People that are stuck themselves are the ones giving you advice on how not to be stuck.

It sucks to not be chosen, it sucks to feel alone. But the best advice I can give is move on and don’t look back. Look inward and take ownership for what you did wrong. People don’t leave long term relationships overnight. It takes alot of buildup, strength and decisiveness. Once that decision has been made they aren’t just going to reverse it. It sucks but thats life. So get off here, start enjoying your life and the right person will come along

She broke up with me 3 ago after dating for 4 years. She was very conflicted and it was hard. I didn’t really love her the way she wanted to feel loved. I wasn’t affectionate enough, reassuring, complimentary. I accept this as fact and how gone through therapy to discover why its so hard for me to give those things.

She broke no contact I had set when we broke up to let me know she was home for the summer. I waited two weeks and have reached out at different points and she has always responded. That led me to asking her to coffee which she agreed to right away and offered a date and time.

A few days before we met I was straight forward with my feelings… I wanted her back. She told me she couldn’t say never. I pressed her really hard on a final answer for my closure but she couldn’t give anything.

Yesterday was our meeting. I didn’t expect it to go the way it went. She was very engaged, interested, laughing and we were talking like we always had. I tried to get up and leave after an hour because I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. It lasted for 3 1/2 hours… then it just escaped from my mouth. “Can we do this again sometime?” She said, “yeah, I’d love that. How about this week”?

Tldr: she spent three hours with me and agreed to hang out again after I told her I wanted to be with her and she said she didn’t see a future with me right now

She broke up with me 3 ago after dating for 4 years. She was very conflicted and it was hard. I didn’t really love her the way she wanted to feel loved. I wasn’t affectionate enough, reassuring, complimentary. I accept this as fact and how gone through therapy to discover why its so hard for me to give those things.

She broke no contact I had set when we broke up to let me know she was home for the summer. I waited two weeks and have reached out at different points and she has always responded. That led me to asking her to coffee which she agreed to right away and offered a date and time. A few days before we met I was straight forward with my feelings… I wanted her back. She told me she couldn’t say never. I pressed her really hard on a final answer for my closure but she couldn’t give anything.

Yesterday was our meeting. I didn’t expect it to go the way it went. She was very engaged, interested, laughing and we were talking like we always had. I tried to get up and leave after an hour because I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. She kinda prevented me from leaving my continuing to talk and ask questions. It lasted for 3 1/2 hours… then it just escaped from my mouth. “Can we do this again sometime?” She said, “yeah, I’d love that. How about this week”?

Tldr: she spent three hours with me and agreed to hang out again after I told her I wanted to be with her and she said she didn’t see a future with me right now

She broke up with me 3 ago after dating for 4 years. She was very conflicted and it was hard. I didn’t really love her the way she wanted to feel loved. I wasn’t affectionate enough, reassuring, complimentary. I accept this as fact and how gone through therapy to discover why its so hard for me to give those things.

She broke no contact I had set when we broke up to let me know she was home for the summer. I waited two weeks and have reached out at different points and she has always responded. That led me to asking her to coffee which she agreed to right away and offered a date and time. A few days before we met I was straight forward with my feelings… I wanted her back. She told me she couldn’t say never. I pressed her really hard on a final answer for my closure but she couldn’t give anything.

Yesterday was our meeting. I didn’t expect it to go the way it went. She was very engaged, interested, laughing and we were talking like we always had. I tried to get up and leave after an hour because I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. She kinda prevented me from leaving my continuing to talk and ask questions. It lasted for 3 1/2 hours… then it just escaped from my mouth. “Can we do this again sometime?” She said, “yeah, I’d love that. How about this week”?

Tldr: she spent three hours with me and agreed to hang out again after I told her I wanted to be with her and she said she didn’t see a future with me right now

I was direct with my feelings today. I told her the reason I wanted to meet with her is because I wanted to see if the door was fully closed or if it was open to the idea of “dating again” in the future.

She told me she wasn’t going to say never but with all thats going on in her life with grad school transitioning into a career with a big text coming in the fall that she is supposed to study for this summer she couldn’t support a relationship right now and it wasn’t’ something she could wrap her head around. I was shattered.

I then tried to say that I needed to know if the door was shut because unfortunately I would need to block her on all social media because the life updates were keeping me stuck and making me sad. She said she didn’t know what to say or didn’t have a good answer. She said if thats what I feel like I need to do but she doesn’t have a good answer.

She then agreed to still meet with me this weekend and talked to me for 1.5 hours on the phone this evening. After 3 months of the breakup we have moved from sure she was done to now unsure. What do I make of this? Should I hold on a touch longer or cut her loose. Why can’t she just give me closure? I never had that from her. She can’t ever “close the door”

This was a very healthy relationship so “breadcrumbing” and “validation” aren’t really at play here. I just stopped showing up as a partner

Tldr. Willing to talk to me and see me

I was direct with my feelings today. I told her the reason I wanted to meet with her is because I wanted to see if the door was fully closed or if it was open to the idea of “dating again” in the future.

She told me she wasn’t going to say never but with all thats going on in her life with grad school transitioning into a career with a big text coming in the fall that she is supposed to study for this summer she couldn’t support a relationship right now and it wasn’t’ something she could wrap her head around. I was shattered.

I then tried to say that I needed to know if the door was shut because unfortunately I would need to block her on all social media because the life updates were keeping me stuck and making me sad. She said she didn’t know what to say or didn’t have a good answer. She said if thats what I feel like I need to do but she doesn’t have a good answer.

She then agreed to still meet with me this weekend and talked to me for 1.5 hours on the phone this evening. After 3 months of the breakup we have moved from sure she was done to now unsure. What do I make of this? Should I hold on a touch longer or cut her loose. Why can’t she just give me closure? I never had that from her. She can’t ever “close the door”

This was a very healthy relationship so “breadcrumbing” and “validation” aren’t really at play here. I just stopped showing up as a partner

I’m a second year apprentice and I really love the trade. I got put with someone who is very talented and a well respected electrician. I was put with him in my first year. I don’t feel like my aptitude is where it should be. I make stupid mistakes because I am scared to get yelled at and take to long. He cuts me down personally and it sucks. I’m sensitive and I try really hard but feel like I am not learning as fast as I should.

Right now, I feel unintelligent, stupid, too sensitive, like I’m a bad electrician. I hate coming into work and am starting to feel like this is not for me. Any advice on how I can improve would be appreciated. I’m just so tired of trying so hard but being told and compared every day.

I(M27) was broken up with after a 4 year relationship. I wasn’t effort into the relationship, myself or anything really. I was on cruise control. She tried to get me to change I couldn’t in the relationship. Even though she was conflicted she held firm. I begged and pleaded and made a tense dynamic. Eventually I set no contact… I needed to move on and accept it was over even though nothing felt “final”

After a month of no contact she broke it to tell me she was home for the summer. I didn’t respond and she texted again within an hour. This brought back the attachment in me. I waited two weeks checked in with her she responded and we texted for a bit. Then I went a step further a week later and asked if she would be open to lunch. She agreed excitedly and gave a date and time. I waited a couple days and reached out again last night. She was responding but seemed less open and a little more closed off.

My plan is to show her that I am taking those things seriously, and addressing them I want to ask her one last time if she would reconsider but if she says no, I need to probably cut her out of my life so I can start healing again properly.

I just don’t know if I am crazy or not. Am I seeing signs of openness that just aren’t there? I’m willing to but my heart on the line one last time and say I want her back but after that, thats it.

I was broken up with after a 4 year relationship. It sucked, I begged, i pleaded but ultimately she held firm. She was very conflicted but her decision was final and I felt that finally. We were in this weird long extended breakup with limited contact. I cut that off and said I wanted hard no contact for 1 month then I would reach out. She argued with me about me reaching out again kinda hinting she didn’t want me to but I made that promise and told her she didn’t have to answer but I would.

During the break I changed my mind about reaching out, I thought it was best just to let everyone have space to heal and get over it. I never reached out on that date but a week later I get a text, “hey, just keeping my word and letting you know I’m back in town”… 1 hour later I get, “hey, just letting you know I’m home”. I responded the next morning with Glad you made it home safe. Got no response.

Two weeks went by and I had a moment of weakness, I texted her and told her I was thinking about her and asked how she was doing. She responded to me within 5 minutes and was open to talking and asking questions. I waited for a good stopping point then ended the conversation.

Another week goes by and another moment of weakness… I say, “hey would you be open to grabbing coffee/lunch sometime”? 5 minutes later, “Hey I would be open to that! How about Saturday at 2:30”

I’m so confused. She has never been the type to breadcrumb or lead me on. She has been very honest about her intentions this whole time. What did I get myself into… i was expecting her to say no or say yes but never nail down a date and time.

Tldr. Why is she open to seeing me?

In everyones personal experience, what are signs that the breaking up party is open to trying again. Not just missing connection or something like that?

After dumping someone for valid reasons, what makes someone come back? Is it as uncommon as it seems?

I 27M was in a 4 year relationship with my ex 27F. Basically I suffer from ADHD and the executive function has been effecting the relationship and I wasn’t able to get it together enough to seek help. She got so frustrated with my lack of action, taking care of what needs taken care of and basically me being a boy instead of a man. She tried to communicate that with me and even tried to have a “breakup conversation” she said she was never actually going to follow through with as a last ditch effort to get me to take her seriously and wake up. I never did so she ended things.

It was a very messy breakup. She never actually pulled the pin, it was me who had to do it. Still alot of love and attachment on both sides. Her even telling me that she wanted this to work out more than anything but didn’t feel taken care of or that she could trust me anymore. So I finally pulled the pin and said I wanted no contact for one month but promised I would reach out after. That day came and I never reached out. She stopped watching my instagram stories and giving me any “breadcrumbs” on that date. I had thought it wasn’t important and she didn’t have it “marked” so I thought she would be relived when she never heard from me

Three weeks go by and I get a text about her being home for the summer. Worded slightly aggressive like she was taking a dig at me for mot keeping my word and reaching out. 1 hour later I received the same text worded much softer. I responded with “glad you made it home safe” the next morning. Didn’t get a response.

In a moment of weakness, I reached out yesterday and told her I was thinking of her and asked how she was doing. 5 minutes later I get a response detailing about what she was up to and asking about me. Three or 4 text messages happened until I said, it was really good to hear from ypu hope you have a good summer.

I love her, I think I want her back. But I’m really taking the reasons for the breakup to heart. I’ve gone on medication for ADHD, that solved 70% of the executive function issues over night, I’ve lost weight, hit the gym, I’m in therapy and I’ve built a routine that keeps me structured and consistent. I’m afraid to ask for the relationship back because I don’t want to be rejected for a 2nd time and I feel I haven’t improved enough yet to make it work right now.

Tldr Where does this leave me? Does she seem open to trying again someday? Or is she just being nice?

I 27M was in a 4 year relationship with my ex 27F. Basically I suffer from ADHD and the executive function has been effecting the relationship and I wasn’t able to get it together enough to seek help. She got so frustrated with my lack of action, taking care of what needs taken care of and basically me being a boy instead of a man. She tried to communicate that with me and even tried to have a “breakup conversation” she said she was never actually going to follow through with as a last ditch effort to get me to take her seriously and wake up. I never did so she ended things.

It was a very messy breakup. She never actually pulled the pin, it was me who had to do it. Still alot of love and attachment on both sides. Her even telling me that she wanted this to work out more than anything but didn’t feel taken care of or that she could trust me anymore. So I finally pulled the pin and said I wanted no contact for one month but promised I would reach out after. That day came and I never reached out. She stopped watching my instagram stories and giving me any “breadcrumbs” on that date. I had thought it wasn’t important and she didn’t have it “marked” so I thought she would be relived when she never heard from me

Three weeks go by and I get a text about her being home for the summer. Worded slightly aggressive like she was taking a dig at me for mot keeping my word and reaching out. 1 hour later I received the same text worded much softer. I responded with “glad you made it home safe” the next morning. Didn’t get a response.

In a moment of weakness, I reached out yesterday and told her I was thinking of her and asked how she was doing. 5 minutes later I get a response detailing about what she was up to and asking about me. Three or 4 text messages happened until I said, it was really good to hear from ypu hope you have a good summer.

I love her, I think I want her back. But I’m really taking the reasons for the breakup to heart. I’ve gone on medication for ADHD, that solved 70% of the executive function issues over night, I’ve lost weight, hit the gym, I’m in therapy and I’ve built a routine that keeps me structured and consistent. I’m afraid to ask for the relationship back because I don’t want to be rejected for a 2nd time and I feel I haven’t improved enough yet to make it work right now.

Tldr Where does this leave me? Does she seem open to trying again someday? Or is she just being nice?

I 27M was in a 4 year relationship with my ex 27F. Basically I suffer from ADHD and the executive function has been effecting the relationship and I wasn’t able to get it together enough to seek help. She got so frustrated with my lack of action, taking care of what needs taken care of and basically me being a boy instead of a man. She tried to communicate that with me and even tried to have a “breakup conversation” she said she was never actually going to follow through with as a last ditch effort to get me to take her seriously and wake up. I never did so she ended things.

It was a very messy breakup. She never actually pulled the pin, it was me who had to do it. Still alot of love and attachment on both sides. Her even telling me that she wanted this to work out more than anything but didn’t feel taken care of or that she could trust me anymore. So I finally pulled the pin and said I wanted no contact for one month but promised I would reach out after. That day came and I never reached out. She stopped watching my instagram stories and giving me any “breadcrumbs” on that date. I had thought it wasn’t important and she didn’t have it “marked” so I thought she would be relived when she never heard from me

Three weeks go by and I get a text about her being home for the summer. Worded slightly aggressive like she was taking a dig at me for mot keeping my word and reaching out. 1 hour later I received the same text worded much softer. I responded with “glad you made it home safe” the next morning. Didn’t get a response.

In a moment of weakness, I reached out yesterday and told her I was thinking of her and asked how she was doing. 5 minutes later I get a response detailing about what she was up to and asking about me. Three or 4 text messages happened until I said, it was really good to hear from ypu hope you have a good summer.

I love her, I think I want her back. But I’m really taking the reasons for the breakup to heart. I’ve gone on medication for ADHD, that solved 70% of the executive function issues over night, I’ve lost weight, hit the gym, I’m in therapy and I’ve built a routine that keeps me structured and consistent. I’m afraid to ask for the relationship back because I don’t want to be rejected for a 2nd time and I feel I haven’t improved enough yet to make it work right now.

Tldr Where does this leave me? Does she seem open to trying again someday? Or is she just being nice?

I 27M was in a 4 year relationship with my ex 27F. Basically I suffer from ADHD and the executive function has been effecting the relationship and I wasn’t able to get it together enough to seek help. She got so frustrated with my lack of action, taking care of what needs taken care of and basically me being a boy instead of a man. She tried to communicate that with me and even tried to have a “breakup conversation” she said she was never actually going to follow through with as a last ditch effort to get me to take her seriously and wake up. I never did so she ended things.

It was a very messy breakup. She never actually pulled the pin, it was me who had to do it. Still alot of love and attachment on both sides. Her even telling me that she wanted this to work out more than anything but didn’t feel taken care of or that she could trust me anymore. So I finally pulled the pin and said I wanted no contact for one month but promised I would reach out after. That day came and I never reached out. She stopped watching my instagram stories and giving me any “breadcrumbs” on that date. I had thought it wasn’t important and she didn’t have it “marked” so I thought she would be relived when she never heard from me

Three weeks go by and I get a text about her being home for the summer. Worded slightly aggressive like she was taking a dig at me for mot keeping my word and reaching out. 1 hour later I received the same text worded much softer. I responded with “glad you made it home safe” the next morning. Didn’t get a response.

In a moment of weakness, I reached out yesterday and told her I was thinking of her and asked how she was doing. 5 minutes later I get a response detailing about what she was up to and asking about me. Three or 4 text messages happened until I said, it was really good to hear from ypu hope you have a good summer.

I love her, I think I want her back. But I’m really taking the reasons for the breakup to heart. I’ve gone on medication for ADHD, that solved 70% of the executive function issues over night, I’ve lost weight, hit the gym, I’m in therapy and I’ve built a routine that keeps me structured and consistent. I’m afraid to ask for the relationship back because I don’t want to be rejected for a 2nd time and I feel I haven’t improved enough yet to make it work right now.

Where does this leave me? Does she seem open to trying again someday? Or is she just being nice?